“Logan!” I call out as I slam the front door and walk to the bottom of the sweeping staircase. I tried to call his cell phone and the landline, but he wasn’t picking up, and I have a riot of nervous knots in my tummy that something might be wrong. I don’t know why. It’s not like he always picks up when I call. It’s just things are shifting and changing so fast, I can’t help the rising levels of anxiety. I fucking hate anxiety. I take one step on the first rung and scream with shock when I find myself lifted high into the air. Logan spins me mid-air and catches my hips, only to drop me over his shoulder with a groan-inducing thud. He slaps his large hand on my arse and heads off, taking the stairs two at a time and winding me with every step.
“Logan, what the hell! Put. Me. Down!” I grunt with each stride, clenching my tummy to brace and at the same time trying to breathe. I attempt to gain some stability on his naked arse, which although it is mighty fine and firm, doesn’t give me much to hold on to. Not like a pair of sweatpants, jeans, or even some boxer briefs might.
“All in good time, angel, all in good time.” This time, he lifts the hem of my skirt and starts to nibble the soft flesh at the top of my thigh right around to the curve of my cheek. I drop my head and let out a tortured moan. Oh, that mouth. The stubble on his face must at least be a whole week gone from the feel of the long soft hairs. God, I bet he looks feral packing a full beard. He leans back briefly and tilts his weight, kicking the door to my bedroom flying. I’m so wet right now, he’s probably got a damp patch on his shoulder. I squeal when he drops me from shoulder height onto the soft bouncy bed. I am just about to burst into a fit of giggles when his eyes scorch the humour right out of me. He doesn’t look feral; he looks lethal.
Deep chocolate coloured eyes swirl and shimmer with flecks of gold and onyx and bore right through me. Searing heat courses through my veins like he has ignited an inferno inside me with just that look. I’m burning up, and when my eyes trail the length of his body, I swear I’m going to combust. His broad chest heaves with deep steady breaths, and each perfectly sculpted muscle on his abdomen ripples with the movement. His strong arms and muscular thighs could be carved from golden granite, they look so solid. Ultimate perfection. The icing for me is the spattering of dark hair in the perfect happy trail. Not that my eyes needed guiding to the goal, not when his impressive rock solid erection is all but dominating this sexy-as-all-hell view.
He reaches under my skirt and rips my panties down my legs in one smooth move, taking my pumps off at the same time.
“Spread your legs, baby.” The words rumble from deep in his chest and sound like he’s been chewing on gravel all night. My skin instantly prickles with a million goosebumps. I pull my knees up and out, watching his eyes darken as I slowly obey his command.
“Wider,” he growls. The word is a soft whisper, though, and I smile at the way his cock twitches every time I move. “Show me how wet you are for me.” Holy shit! That is the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m pretty sure he can now see exactly how wet I am. Pretty sure I’m dripping on my bedcovers. “God, you’re beautiful.” He exhales, and I melt. I love the way his filthy words can make my jaw drop, just as much as those sweet ones make my heart swell.
“Touch yourself.”
“What?”
“I know from the colour of your cheeks you heard me just fine, angel. Do I really need to repeat myself?” He palms his cock, and I can see from the tension in his jaw that this is causing him some sort of agony. I don’t know if I’m feeling mortified at the thought of such a private act or so turned on I can’t get my hand there quick enough. I opt for a slow hand, as that seems to make Logan stiffen in all the right places. I lightly trace my finger down the centre of my body, over my skirt, which is gathered at my waist, and I hesitate, only for a second, when I reach my tiny landing strip of hair. I shiver and suck in a sharp breath. My back arches a little with anticipation. I watch his eyes widen as I slide two fingers along my slick, wet centre. I tilt my hips and push into the bed with the ripple of pleasure washing over my body at my light touch.
“How do you taste?”
“How do I…oh.” I let out the last word with an elongated sigh and an understanding tone. My mouth is dry, and wetting my lips makes him swallow thickly. His eyes are hawklike on my every move, raking over every inch of my body. He’s definitely enjoying the show. I push my fingers in a little deeper before pulling them out and lifting them to my mouth.
“Good girl.” His skin seems to glow with perspiration, and the raw lust and desire radiating off him is intoxicating. It’s empowering, I’m doing that to him. “Holy fucking shit, Tia.” His groan is a guttural, manly sound that makes my tummy do flips and makes my toes curl.
“Here, I saved some.” I hold my wet fingers out, and he swoops to devour them, scraping any trace of me off with his teeth.
“Needs a little salt.” His eyes flash with a sexy mix of deviance and mischief. He stalks up my body, licking and nipping anywhere there’s a soft piece of flesh he can get between his teeth. Even through my clothes, I can feel his incendiary touch. He holds his body millimetres from mine, his heavy cock resting at my aching entrance. I whimper at the nearness, and he grins.
“I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you, Tia. You’re everything, you know that?” His words tumble from his perfect mouth, and the sincerity and truth hit me hard. I feel winded all over again.
“I feel the same, Logan. I love you.” I place my hand on his cheek, then tuck the hair that’s falling across his face behind his ear. It’s the only time I don’t like the length of his hair, when it’s covering his handsome face. His eyes flash with something I wish I didn’t recognise—worry. But about what exactly, I couldn’t guess. At this point in time, there are just too many variables.
“We’ll see.”
“Whaaa…oh …ah, God, yes!” Any rational thoughts of concern regarding his vagueness are gone the second he drives into me. Powerful precision, perfectly aimed to distract me, no doubt, but it works. I can’t breathe, let alone think straight. He’s everywhere, moving inside me, filling every part of me. His hands caress and tease, skimming my body and leaving a wake of heated prickles. He pulls my body this way and that; we roll and tumble, grasping at each other. He tears my clothes from my body with an urgency that borders on aggressive, and I’m just trying to get to as much of him as is physically possible. I want everything he has to give. I want him.
He rolls onto his back, and I take a moment to catch my breath and sit up when he breaks the kiss. My hands rest on his chest, and his hands settle on my aching, heavy breasts, his thumbs working the tingly pointy parts like a pro.
“Ride me, baby, take what you need, and give me what I want.”
“What you want?”
“Your pleasure…I want all your pleasure. I want you to come so hard on my cock that I can’t help myself from exploding inside you. I want you full of me, now, tomorrow, always.” He couldn’t be clearer if he was burning my skin with a branding iron. The primal need to mark me as his runs deep and strong, like a life force, through him. I can see it in his eyes and feel it in his every touch, so what did he mean when he said, ‘we’ll see’? The thought is barely there a second when it’s forced from my head with a shooting bolt of pleasure.
“Oh, oh, God, Logan that’s so deep!” Logan sits up and pulls me down onto his cock with a jerk. He’s buried so deep, even as he holds us completely immobile, I can feel every twitch, every pump of blood through the thick veins throbbing inside me.
“Stay with me, Tia.” His voice is strained and husky. I couldn’t be anywhere else if I wanted, and I don’t want to be. I want him.
“I am, every inch of you.” I grind and secure my arms under his so I am holding his shoulders from the back, locked and ready. I start to roll my hips, and the movement flows up through my body like a gentle wave lapping the shore. We writhe together. It’s almost instant, the first spark of pleasure igniting at the base of my spine. I can’t move fast since we’re anchored so tightly together, and he’s in control of the hold and gripping me to him like I am some sort of lifeline.
Still, the depth of penetration and pressure is so fucking perfect, I start to tremble with the impending climax as it starts to take hold of every nerve ending in my body. Flashes of pure pleasure rip up the length of my spine, shooting an explosion through me like New Year’s Eve fireworks on the Thames; igniting every cell and where all I see are bright lights, shooting stars and I quake to the thunderous tremors consuming every part of me . My body takes over, climbing higher and higher.
“Look at me, angel.” My eyes fly open; I’m more than a little dazed from my high and I didn’t realise I had them so tightly shut. The slickness from my climax is worked and spread from where we’re connected and is now it’s on the tip of his finger between my arse cheeks, swirling in a pleasant motion. I feel the pressure pushing inside my back hole, a single digit. I clench down, which feels all kinds of strange and good. “Relax, baby, feel me, feel all of me.” He works his finger inside, pressing against the tight ring of muscles and against his cock. It’s too much.
“Oh, fuck!” I cry out, as every muscle in my body seizes, and I gasp in a silent scream of unbelievable ecstasy. Logan’s other hand moves to my hips since I am frozen in some sort of euphoric catatonic state. My vision is hazy, but I can see him looking into my eyes the whole time he continues to move my body where he needs, chasing his release.
“God, Tia, you feel so fucking amazing.” I feel his warm pants on my lips like a caress just before he crashes his mouth to mine. I swallow the groan of pleasure he releases into my mouth, smiling against his soft lips as he pulls us both to lie back on the bed in a sated heap of tangled limbs and sweaty bodies.
We lay entwined, my leg resting over his hip, his cock still pretty sizeable and solid, considering I can still feel how much he came running down my thigh. He hasn’t opened his eyes in twenty minutes. He’s not asleep, I’ve slept with him as a friend many, many times, so I know when he’s just resting, and this is one of those times. I haven’t taken my eyes from his peaceful face. He’s so beautiful, inside and out. I can’t for the life of me think why Ghost would say what she said. The notion that Logan would kill me is ridiculous. It would be funny if it wasn’t so unnerving coming from her. How could she possibly make a claim like that? Based on what? She doesn’t know him. I’ve lived with him, and there is not an ounce of killer in this gentle giant. He might be a little damaged, but who am I to judge that? And it’s not a problem, not for me, not for us.
Even if it was, we’re together now, and we’ll handle anything, together.
Ghost may be a lot of things, but I know she wouldn’t shack me up with a murderer just because he has really, really good wifi.
Still, I hate that she has me doubting. I trust her more than anyone, mostly because she couldn’t lie if her life depended on it. She told me in our very first conversation that telling the whole truth was a particular personality trait or flaw in her case. It was all part and parcel of her type of autism. It’s how we ended up serving time together, not because of her autism but because she confessed to her crime. Regardless of every other problem she has, that she has my back. It’s not that I don’t trust Logan, I do; it’s just different. Ghost knows everything.
“Whatever you’re doing, Tia, I think you’re in over your head.” His deep voice breaks the quiet of our shallow breathing, and I suck in a gulp of air with the surprise.
“Oh, ye of little faith, thanks.” I pitch up on one elbow, keeping my tone lightly joking. I’m surprised, though, by the deadly serious expression on his face.
“It’s not about faith. It’s about knowing who you’re dealing with.”
“I do.” I hold his gaze with just as much seriousness.
“Really? So you know about the ghost accounts and the dodgy Russian business partners your ex is hooked up with? Seriously, Tia, this isn’t some fucking game.” I sit up, gathering the sheet to cover myself as I do.
“I’m well aware this isn’t a game.” I keep my voice level and calm, despite my rising irritation at his condescending tone. However, his flippancy has pushed me too far.
“Couldn’t you just cut the guy’s clothes to shreds?” His derision is thick and ugly.
“He’s not some cheating ex, Logan,” I snap and drag the whole sheet off the bed as I stand. I start to gather my clothes. Logan regards me with a raised brow but makes no move to stop me. “Atticus’s family set me up and stole my life. I can’t ever go back and be that girl, the one with a real future all her own. I can’t be the girl with unicorns in her dreams because I have monsters, real fucking monsters, Logan. I can’t have a normal life, because I’m not that girl, anymore. I will always be a thief and a criminal because of him. He could’ve saved me any time he wanted, and the son of a bitch is going to pay.” I roughly pull my cami top over my head and slip my arms quickly into my cardigan, wrapping it around my waist crossing over the soft wooden fabric with my folded arms. My light, tightly knit coat of armour.
“I want you out,” he states flatly, and I let out a heavy sigh when I can see the genuine worry in the dark lines crinkled on his forehead and the trace of sadness in his eyes.
“Sorry, Logan, but that’s not your call. I’ll be out when I’m out and not before.” I deliberately keep my voice soft, because I know my words are resolute. His face fixes with a steely cold look, all hard dark edges and fury. I barely recognise him with the change in his expression; it’s so altered. I add a half-hearted shrug to try and ease the rising tension.
This is not how I wanted to spend our short time together.
“Look, I’m sorry, Logan, but honestly, if you weren’t such a super-snooper you wouldn’t even know. I would do my time, get what’s mine, and come home. You’d be none the wiser.” A dark cloud seems to descend in the room, whipping up a terrifying storm around Logan as he slowly rises from the bed. He grabs the towel draped over the end of the bed and wraps it around his waist. Shit, this must be serious if Logan is covering up.
“So lying is the answer?” He towers over me, but I hold my ground. It’s like the room gets smaller, and the temperature drops. I don’t like the distant look in his eyes. I’ve never seen that look before. What the hell just happened?
“I didn’t say lying. You just go looking for trouble, and I said I know what I’m doing.” I reach for his hand, but he pulls it from my fingertips, lifts his arm, and brushes the dark strands from his face.
“This only works if there’s trust, Tia.” His tone matches the recent icy temperature drop. I shake my head in confusion.
“I know,” I offer, but it sounds like a plea.
“Do you?” He dips to maintain eye contact when I make an involuntary attempt to break the gaze. Shit.
“Yes.”
“And you trust me?”
“I do.” I don’t hesitate, but my stomach drops from a sense of foreboding I can’t fathom.
“And there’s nothing you can’t tell me?” His eyes narrow, and it takes everything I have not to cave under the intensity of his scrutinising glare.
“I can’t tell you this. It’s the only thing, Logan, and you have to believe me, it’s for the best.” I snatch his hand and hold it in mind.
“The only thing, hmm?” He grabs my jaw and twists my head so I am only a centimetre from him. The hold is firm and a little painful. I don’t flinch, I can barely breathe, and my heart would be beating like a jack-hammer if it hadn’t plummeted to the floor.
“Yes.” I mouth out the words.
“Just so we’re both clear here, angel…” He grits out the words and my nickname like it is causing him physical pain. I know where this is going, and I just can’t…I can’t stop it, even as I can see the looming train wreck before me. Don’t do this, Logan. I try to shake my head and stop the inevitable from playing out; his grip is just too tight. “This would be the perfect time to come clean about anything. Anything you think might destroy us, given what you know about me, and how fucking important trust is to someone like me. You understand what I’m saying here, Tia, right?” He yells the last few words, fury and rage emblazoned across his face, anger rolling like a tidal wave from him and crashing full force against me.
“Right, I do.” I can feel my voice breaking with the untold truth he’s so desperate to hear. All I can hear is Ghost’s threat and words of warning. My gut is in knots, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who to trust. I fight the pinch of tears behind my eyes, blinking away the ones already clouding my vision.
Even if I could give him what he wants, what happens then? Ghost would be gone, my plan dies, and according to Ghost, so do I, so what choice do I really have? I have to believe the one person who can’t lie, the one person who proved herself when she poisoned those bitches that raped me. I snap my head out of his grasp and try to dismiss the dramatics with an accusation of my own. I can only guess at what he’s asking, and I can’t for the life of me, think how he would’ve found out. I have to bluff this out. It’s my only choice.
”I don’t understand why you’re getting so angry.”
He tilts his head and pauses, intently searching my face. His eyes flick to my twitching fingers that are itching to tug at the hair on my neck and a cruel smile transforms his face to something heartbreaking.
“This, Tia, this is why I’m so fucking angry.” He holds up the bus ticket on which Ghost scrawled Logan’s address and his real name,Logan Beckett It was the only time we met up after I was released. It was the beginning. “How the fuck did you get my details? Who gave you this address?”
“I can’t tell you that.” My shoulders drop, and I dip my eyes away from all the hurt and betrayal I can see. Fat tears start to fall, and I just fucking hate myself right now.
“Get out.” It takes a moment to realise he said those words out loud. It takes a whole minute for the devastation to take hold. The silence is deafening, and my hands fly to my ears to stop the unbearable noise. I shake my head and frantic desperation takes over.
“Logan, please don’t.” I grab his arms and he pulls back like my touch is toxic, flaying the skin from his bones.
“Get the fuck out of my house!” He yells so loud in my face the tears stop falling from pure fear alone. I’ve never seen him so angry, so hurt. He picks up my bag and thrusts it into my chest. I stumble back and whisper words that I know are too little too late.
“You said you loved me, Logan!”
“If anyone should know that loving someone isn’t enough sometimes, Tia, it’s you.”
I shake my head at the finality and bitterness of his tone.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not. At least I know what the T really stands for…Traitor.” I don’t know what hurts more, the look of betrayal on his face or those last words spoken as he walks casually from my room. I crumple to the floor in absolute agony, my chest imploding, and all I feel is loss, utter, heartbreaking loss. I can’t contain the pain. Loud ugly sobs escape my gaping mouth, masking the heavy sound of his retreating footsteps. What have I done?