Chapter Fifty-Six
Sam’s head was spinning. Was it really possible?
She’d demand a DNA test, of course. She needed more solid proof than a smile. But in the meantime…
“Tell me about the watch.” She held up hers and looked at his matching one.
“Garrett told me you were upset about him taking it, but it was needed to help prove your identity in the explosion. I tracked down a duplicate to use instead.”
“How do you know Garrett?”
“I’m in charge of Task Force Phoenix, it’s an elite team of marshals who—for different reasons—were forced to start over much like you will. Only they chose to use their fresh start to protect others. Garrett is the top senior inspector on my team. Or at least he was, until I found out he took advantage of you.” He frowned.
Sam was suddenly worried about Garrett. She doubted Thorne would actually kill him. But he might get fired. His boss seemed seriously pissed off.
She suddenly felt the need to protect him. “He didn’t take advantage,” she said. “That’s all on me. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
Garrett had gotten her this far, he deserved credit for his efforts, even if he had lied to her. And she’d told the truth. She had been the one to relentlessly pursue him. He’d simply given in to her advances.
“There’s no future with him,” her father said.
God, it felt so strange to think of this man as her father.
“So he told me. He was very upfront about that.” She narrowed her eyes at Thorne. “Which is a lot more than I can say for you.”
He sighed. “I didn’t know your mother was pregnant when I took a job on a black ops undercover team in the CIA. Our marriage was already failing because I couldn’t tell her what I did, just that I worked for the government. I was gone all the time, and she was always suspicious and angry. Things weren’t good between us.” He looked down at his hands.
“So you took the easy way out and faked your own death?” Sam said incredulously. “Who does that?”
“The CIA. All the time. And back then, well, I was a much different person, with much different priorities.”
“What about when you found out Mom was pregnant? Did you even care?”
“By then it was too late. I was already signed up, and officially dead.” He shook his head. “The CIA doesn’t allow their people to change their minds. Trust me when I say, I wish I’d handled things differently. It’s the biggest regret of my life. For what it’s worth, I never married again, never had any more children, even after I left CIA and started Task Force Phoenix.”
She stared at him. “You think that makes up for it? For me having to grow up without a father?”
“Of course not. But believe me, it works both ways. There have been times when I watched you and it was all I could do to sit in the same restaurant and not walk over and introduce myself. But I did try to be there for you, behind the scenes, when I could. Your scholarship, for instance.”
She gasped in shock. “I didn’t earn that?”
“I wanted you to go to Georgetown so I could be close to you. I just added to the scholarship money you were already granted, so you’d come to D.C. Besides, it was my responsibility to pay for your schooling. Anytime you’ve ever needed something, I’ve tried to provide it for you. Having someone show up with another life insurance policy your mom didn’t know about, giving you a good deal on a car.”
“Then blowing it up,” she grumbled. She’d actually really liked that car.
“When I found out you were involved in the Howe case, I immediately sent out SI McKendrick to keep you safe and alive. And to make sure you were handling everything well.”
“I’m not handling anything well. I’m just trying not to be killed for telling the truth.”
Her father’s eyes met hers. “I’m so proud of you. So proud of the amazing person you’ve become. I’m sorry about my questionable role in your past, but I assure you, I’m going to be there for you from now on.”
Her heart squeezed in her chest. These were the words she’d always wanted to hear. Every major decision she’d made had been with hope of making this man proud.
But now? They just seemed hollow. Too little, too late. “Right. Because we’re both dead and we have these nifty father-daughter watches,” she muttered.
“No. Because I love you.”
At those unexpected words, all the longing she’d felt her whole life came rushing back. Longing for affection and acceptance, and a warm, loving family.
She told herself she couldn’t trust the man…but even a manipulative bastard of a father might be better than having no family, at all. Especially under the circumstances.
“Does that mean we would get to see each other? That sort of thing?”
He nodded. “I would like that. If you’re willing.”
It was a lot to take in at once. “Can I have some time to think about it? And maybe a DNA test?”
He smiled. “Of course. McKendrick warned me that your father showing up would be too much for you to handle on top of everything else right now, and he’s probably right. But I couldn’t wait any longer.”
“You’ve had my whole life to show up. Why now?”
He grimaced. “You’re in danger, and suddenly I was terrified you could be hurt, or disappear into WITSEC before I could get to know you. You’ve been handling things better than you give yourself credit for. But the urgency of the situation brought home how important you are to me. I’m a selfish old man, and I want to know my daughter.” His smile was strained, as if he was expecting her rejection at any moment. As angry and hurt as she was, she wasn’t able to dismiss her only chance at having a family. However small it might be. And however belated.
His words made sense, she supposed. How many important things had she put off simply because it was easier to do it tomorrow?
“Besides,” he went on, “I wasn’t sure how you would respond. I worried you might hate me.” He glanced out to the room where the others were gathered. “I sure didn’t expect it would go down like this.” A smile tugged at his lips, and she couldn’t help but smile back.
It was a start.
She squeezed her eyes shut for a second. “I wish I could wake up and be back in my apartment, with Nikki barging in to borrow my clothes. Maybe you could have knocked at my door and ask if I wanted to go for coffee.”
“I don’t think there is ever an appropriate time to tell someone their long-lost father is actually alive. But if it were in my power to change any of this, believe me, I would.” Her father scowled at Garrett. “One thing I can do is take SI McKendrick off your case and give you a new protective detail.”
She watched Garrett as he assisted the blonde woman working on the deputy marshal Sam had shot. Whatever he was, he was good at what he did. He’d trained her efficiently, and kept her alive. She didn’t want to start over with someone else.
“I don’t want a different marshal,” she said, surprising herself as much as her father. “I want Garrett.”
He had lied and hurt her, but he’d also saved her and protected her with his life.
Her father searched her face, and apparently decided she wasn’t somehow being coerced. That she really meant it. “Very well. But if that ever changes, please tell me immediately.” He held out a burner phone.
She was reluctant to take it. She could be tracked through a phone. Nevertheless, she reached for it. “Thanks.”
He smiled and stood up. “Feel free to call me if you need anything, or just to talk. It was so good to finally meet you.”
“Yeah.” She wasn’t sure what she should do now. Surely he didn’t expect a hug? Shaking hands with your father seemed strange. A high five, maybe? He didn’t look like a fist-bumping kind of guy.
He bowed slightly and opened the office door for her. “I’ll let you tell SI McKendrick know he’s still responsible for your safety.”
She walked out and released the breath that had been backed up in her lungs for the past half hour. Deputy Marshal Ryan glared over at her as the petite female marshal wrapped a bandage around his thigh.
Sam winced. Should she apologize? She’d been very clear about her intentions…
Garrett was next to them, talking to the woman. They were whispering. The woman laughed at something he said.
Sam determinedly averted her gaze. How stupid she had been to fall for his ruse. For him. She’d known he was out of her league the first moment she met him. There was a reason people had gut instincts. She should have listened to hers.
He had been playing her all along. She was easier to control when he gave in and pretended to like her. He’d said it from the beginning—she was easier to protect from up close.
“Let’s go,” she said when she got to the desk.
Garrett hopped up and turned back toward the office. “Does he want to see me?”
“No. He said you’re still responsible for my safety.”
“I am?”
“Unless you’re too busy…” She glanced at the blonde, who was still smiling at him. “Or you don’t want to.”
“No, I’m ready.” He looked around as if expecting it to be a trick, but nevertheless, he followed her out to the car. “I thought he would reassign me.”
“He was going to, but I told him I preferred to keep you.”
“You did?” Garrett’s eyes widened.
“You’ve protected me so far. I don’t have it in me to start over with someone else.”
“That’s the only reason?” he asked. His voice hinted at another meaning.
“That, and because you do the right thing.” She looked at him, allowing her expression to turn steely.
“Sam—”
“How’s your arm?” she interrupted. She didn’t want to hear his reasons for lying to her.
“Good. Angel restitched it.” He pulled up his sleeve to show the perfectly spaced knots.
“She did a much better job,” Sam said. “Are the two of you friends?”
“She’s like a sister to me.” After Sam spared him a dubious look, he elaborated. “Our team…we’re like a family. When you count on people, put your life in their hands time and again, your relationship goes beyond being coworkers. Your dad is our boss, and while he might come off like a gruff asshat much of the time, he cares. I know he cares about you. If you give him a chance, you’ll see that, too.”
She didn’t know how to feel about that. The man was playing father to a team of deputy marshals instead of being her dad. She felt a twinge of jealousy that Garrett and the other marshals knew her father, and she didn’t.
At least not yet. She would have a chance to know him. If she allowed it. That was more than she’d ever expected to have.
“So, Task Force Phoenix?” Even the name sounded dangerous.
“He told you?”
“I think he’s trying to make it up to me for lying about every single thing in my life.”
“Right.” He nodded. “Yeah, I’m on the team.”
“He said everyone on his team had to start over. Is your name really Garrett?”
“Yes. I didn’t lie to you about that. I didn’t need to change my identity.” He frowned but kept his eyes on the road. After a few minutes he finally spoke again. “When I got out of the Marines I was in a really dark place. I had no family. My friends had moved on with their lives. They were married with kids and homes and I…I lost my shit when someone made a loud noise.”
She wanted to reach out, but didn’t.
“Your father showed up out of the blue, and asked me if I wanted to join his team. He might have saved my life. I’m not sure how much more I could take. He gave me a new purpose. But because no one knew me, it didn’t matter that I kept my name. No one would look for me. No one cared enough to wonder where I went.”
He had listened to her complain about having to give up her life. When he hadn’t had a life to give up. Shame kept her from saying anything.
“Thanks for keeping me around,” Garrett said. “I still can’t believe he didn’t kill me after he found out what happened between us.”
“I told him it was all my fault. You shouldn’t get in trouble because I chased after you.”
“That’s not exactly how it happened.” Garrett smiled and looked over at her.
She rested her head against the window and watched the trees flicking past. The brown flashes went by so quickly they were dizzying. Kind of how things had been with Garrett—it had all happened so fast she wasn’t able to focus on any of it at the time.
And now it was gone.
“You’ve been through a lot today, huh?” he said gently. “You found out you have a dad. If you need to cry, or talk, I’m here.”
She gave him an incredulous look. Yeah, maybe when hell froze over.
“What does it matter?” she said evenly. “Everything I thought I knew about my life was a lie. My mother was probably an alien, and my favorite teacher probably runs a drug cartel. What good would talking do?”
He didn’t answer. He tightened his grip on the wheel and kept his eyes on the road.
Smart man.
When they got to the new safe house, she stalked to her room and went straight to bed.
She woke the next morning to find Garrett sitting at the end of her bed watching her. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Trying to think of something to say to make this right again.”
Her heart squeezed. “Don’t say anything. You told me we meant nothing and had no future. You were honest and up front. You warned me, fair and square. You’re not to blame. I’m the one who made more of us than was really there. No hard feelings.”
Yeah. He’d told her it wasn’t real.
She just hadn’t realized how very true that was.