Chapter Fifty-Nine
Garrett drove Sam to the rendezvous amid deafening silence.
He couldn’t believe this was happening. It was his own fault. He’d let things get personal between them, and now she was leaving because being with him was too hard on her.
But being without her was going to be too hard on him. Did she not get that? Did she not understand that he’d had no choice when he’d kept secrets from her? Orders were orders. He was merely a pawn.
A pawn who missed her warmth in his arms while he slept. And the way she laughed. The way her hair smelled, and the sexy as hell way she handled a gun.
He didn’t want a damn vacation. Time off would mean time to think. He didn’t want to think. Especially not about how nice it would be if he had a normal job and she had a normal life.
If they weren’t surrounded by craziness and threats, they might have had a shot at being happy together.
He’d known from the start he couldn’t have those things with her—for many reasons—but it hadn’t stopped him from wanting them.
Before she got out of the car, he turned to face her. “I’m sorry I don’t have more to offer you. I’m sorry I can’t be what you need.”
“I’m not asking for anything more. I understand. You would have given your life for me. You just can’t share your life with me.”
The distinction cut him like a knife. “I’m sorry.”
The words weren’t nearly enough. They didn’t even scratch the surface of how much he wished things could be different for them. She would be starting a new life in WITSEC, and he had a job that kept him on the move and in danger. Those two things couldn’t be combined.
“Sure,” she said with a nod he didn’t believe. She was placating him. “I should go.”
She got out of the car and walked over to the other car. Angel was leaning against the driver’s door with a smug look on her face.
Garrett put Sam’s bag in the trunk as she got in the passenger’s side and closed the door. She didn’t look back.
“What happened?” Angel asked him, assuming Sam couldn’t hear her talking to him across the roof of the car.
Garrett just shook his head. He was standing in front of Sam’s window.
“Well, thanks a lot,” Angel said. “Now I get to play fairy-freakin’-godmother.”
“Don’t be like that. Sam’s tough. She won’t give you any trouble.”
She’d adapted easily to her circumstances. She’d rarely complained, even when she had a right to. It was as if she always expected her life to be difficult, and just accepted it.
Angel snickered. “At least she won’t give me the kind of trouble she gave you.”
Garrett’s anger flared. “It wasn’t like that.”
“You’re lucky she kept you from being put behind a desk. That’s what happened when Donovan got caught diddling his asset.”
“We weren’t—”
“Whatever. I need to get on the road,” Angel interrupted.
“Call me when you’re situated.”
“You’re not going to spend your free time checking up on me, are you?” She raised a brow.
“No.” He stepped back from the car, looking at the woman in the backseat.
“Right.” Angel opened the driver’s door.
Garrett put his hand on the glass where Sam was sitting. She looked up into his eyes as Angel started the car. Before they pulled away, he mouthed the words, “I’m sorry.”
He watched until the car was out of sight.
She didn’t look back.
Not once.
Garrett had always known this day would come—the day he’d have to turn her over to another team. The team that would work with the prosecution to prepare her for the case.
He’d expected it to be months from now. He’d thought he had time to plan a grand goodbye scene they would both remember forever.
But she hated him now. So, this had not been that scene. Their goodbye had been cold and empty. He’d never wanted that.
When he gathered himself, he pulled out his phone.
“Thorne.”
“I dropped her off at the site.”
“Everything went okay?”
Garrett swallowed before lying. “Yeah, it was fine.”
“It was for the best, McKendrick.”
Garrett couldn’t agree, so he kept his mouth shut.
“You did a great job keeping her safe. Take a few weeks off.”
“Sir, about what happened…” Garrett wasn’t sure why he would bring it up when his boss hadn’t. Maybe he just needed to talk. True, her father was probably not the best choice, but he was available. And Thorne had always been the father figure for their team.
“She told me she pursued you,” Thorne said. “I don’t have the right to play overprotective father. She’s a grown woman. I’m just glad she’s away from that Lance asshole, and if you helped her through that, then we’re good. Enjoy your time off.”
“Thank you, sir,” Garrett managed before his boss hung up. Their talk hadn’t made him feel any better.
It was just like Sam to put all the blame on herself and tell her father she had pursued him. But he’d wanted her, too. Like crazy. If he was honest, he’d wanted her far longer than she’d even known him.
When he’d been assigned princess duty, he always enjoyed seeing her smiling with her friends and listening to their conversations. When she walked alone in Paris, he envisioned walking up beside her, twining his fingers with hers, and saying something witty in French to make her smile.
He tried to keep a distance this time, too, but he’d failed.
Somehow, he’d have to find a way to move on without her, once and for all.