Chapter 14

“She was jealous, Bernadette. Fighting for her life. And let’s face it, she sounds like the archetypal gold-digger, so I mean, he would be her life. He certainly didn’t look like he was living on the poverty line, did he? Not with that suit. I'm gay, and even I could appreciate the tailoring. His ass looked divine in it.”

Em’s words might have been wise, but they didn’t help heal the hurt that, two days later, was still overwhelming her.

Tyson had tried to come to her office, but she’d had security toss him out, and used orders that not even Em could countermand - if she was feeling particularly invasive at any given moment and decided to play fairy godmother.

He’d left a hundred messages, called what felt like tens of dozens of times, and though she’d listened to every single voicemail, had heard the hurt and confusion in his words…

She couldn’t get past what Karen had said. Not the bullshit about sealing the deal, the personal stuff.

“How would she know about the ‘fat bitch and the dyke’ he hung around with at school if he hadn't mentioned them to her before?”

Em grimaced, then wafted her hands in the air. “I don’t know.”

Bernadette pursed her lips. “Exactly.” If it wasn’t for that, then Bernadette would have tossed Karen’s words aside as jealousy.

She wasn’t a fool. She’d been totally aware of Karen’s bitterness, of the bitch’s desire to maim Bernadette whichever way she could simply to get back at Tyson.

But that simple fact Karen had imparted told a different tale. A tale where Tyson had discussed Em and her in the past.

“People do talk about their school days with serious partners,” Emily proffered.

“They weren’t serious,” Bernadette replied dully, eying something on her computer and quickly changing a spreadsheet she had loaded up. "Would he have fucked me as quickly as he did if they'd been serious? If anything, he was relieved when Karen left. Not hurting like you would if you'd been dating somebody seriously and things just didn't work out."

“Did he say how long they’d been going out?”

“We didn’t exactly discuss his ex while we were fucking, Em,” she snapped.

“No. Of course not,” her best friend conceded with a grimace. She held up her hands in surrender - a gesture that stunned Bernadette and told her how worried her best friend was about her. Emily surrendered to nobody. Not even Bernadette. “I’m sorry. I just… I can’t believe this of Tyson. He wasn’t the sort to sell his soul to the devil for a dollar.”

“We stopped knowing the real Tyson a long time ago, Em. Maybe we never even knew him. He told me some things about his father that makes me question whether we did or not. He kept a lot back from us.”

“Who doesn’t? Jesus, I didn’t come out to you until I was fifteen, Bernadette. And I was close to Tyson, but never told him. Some secrets are too painful to share, even with friends you love and trust more than family itself.”

Bernadette swallowed, then bowing her head, admitted, “It hurts, Em. It really does. I don't even feel used, I just… he said I was beautiful. Then, for him to have said that about me in the past? It just hurts.”

Emily made a shushing noise as she rounded Bernadette’s desk and placed an arm around her shoulder. “I know it does. I know. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, sweetheart. I never thought…”

“Neither of us did,” Bernadette choked out. “We were blinded by the past. Thinking that because we were the same, he would be too.”

Emily sighed. “I wish you’d just talk to him. Let him clear the air or at least have him explain himself.”

“I can’t. Not yet.”

Em squeezed her in a tighter hug. “In time?”

“I think so. Just not now.” Bernadette raised a shaky hand and whispered, “I wanted so much for things to work out. I was dreading coming back from Aspen, because I was sure things would change between us. I didn't realize that would happen before I even left.”

“I know, I know,” Em whispered, sounding as sad as Bernadette did. “You think I didn’t? You need someone like him in your life. Someone who’ll make you forget about work, who’ll remind you that there’s more to life than this place.”

Bernadette gulped. “I know. I didn’t, but now I do.”

Emily sighed. “I guess that’s something. A learning curve if nothing else.”

“A pretty fucking painful one,” Bernadette whispered acidly.

“Most learning curves are,” came Emily’s sad retort.

And wasn’t that the sad, and horrible truth?