Dear Santa, Am I doing this right…?

Aidan slammed the door to his car shut, then switched his phone to his other hand so he could get a better grip on the box of bagels he was carrying. His sister, Emily, answered with her typical cheery greeting.

“’Sup punk. It’s early for you, isn’t it?”

“Hey. You’re not busy, are you? I need advice. About a girl. A woman. This woman I started seeing.” Aidan had made it through his workout and miles of bullshit Los Angeles traffic just fine. That didn’t keep the image of Shae’s anxious face from playing over and over in his head. He’d had such a great night with her, he should have been skipping and whistling his way out of Shae’s apartment building.

He could have sworn she’d had just as good a time, but that tell-tale look was there and he couldn’t ignore it. Yeah, it felt too early in whatever was going on between them to look for problems. It was also never early enough to take notice of something, a tiny red flag that Aidan knew could turn into a full-on disaster zone surrounded by lights and sirens if it went unchecked.

“Oh, seeing a woman? We’re maturing. Well done, Aid.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just messing with you,” Emily laughed. They were only three years apart, but she’d taken the plunge into aspects of adulthood that he couldn’t wrap his mind around when he was still in college. Now she was a working mom with three kids and a husband who she actually communicated with really well. If there was anyone he could get relationship advice from, it was his sister. “Okay, what’s the deal?”

“Her name’s Shae. She owns a pretty successful bakery,” he said with a bit of pride that he had absolutely no claim to. “We used to work together. She was married, now she’s divorced and we ran into each other on MATCHED.”

“Okay. What seems to be the problem—shit!” his sister yelped.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I just stepped on a lego and then stubbed my toe. Shit.” Aidan waited, trying not to laugh as his sister rattled off another string of curses, mumbling to herself about his slob of a nephew. “If you ever have kids, make cleaning up their toys a part of their play time. At least once a week, I almost break my neck stepping on something or tripping over something else.”

“I need to get past a third date before I consider what to do about my future children, but I will keep that in mind.”

“Sorry. Woman troubles. You have them. Go on.”

“Not exactly troubles. I just don’t know how to handle a situation, if it is a situation. She’s very funny. Very sweet. But sometimes out of nowhere, she just kind of shuts down or—it feels like she’s keeping stuff from me because she thinks I’m going to reject her in some way. She usually opens up about whatever it is with a little encouragement, but—I don’t know. I feel she’s holding back something and making assumptions about me and how I’m going to react to her all at the same time. That’s the best way I can describe it.” Hopefully he was making some sense.

“You said she was divorced?”

“Yeah.”

“Could be stuff with her ex. Divorces aren’t like regular break ups and she’s dating again? If Dave and I split up, I don’t even know how I’d get back into dating again. Do you know anything about the ex or why they broke up?”

“Yeah. Without going into too much detail, he blamed her for some shit she had no control over and then they got divorced.”

“Ah, okay. So the ex was a dick. Yeah, she’s probably still a little wounded in the heart department. She might be having rejection issues, which is totally understandable, especially if her ex was a dick.”

Aidan didn’t like the sound of that. “She did say they kind of had a rough split, over some rough stuff.” Aidan and his ex-girlfriend had been pretty serious, but they weren’t close to getting married and they definitely had never fought over bringing children into the world. He had no idea what that must have been like for Shae.

“I mean, I’m saying this knowing the small bit of information you’ve given me.”

“Yeah.”

“My advice? If you want to keep hanging out with her—”

“I do! I like her a lot.” Aidan almost shocked himself with how true those words were. He’d been hanging on to some sort of feelings for Shae for a long time. The short time they’d spent together only confirmed his suspicions. Shae was someone he could definitely seem himself with.

“Okay, well just keep hanging out with her. Let her know she can always talk to you about what she’s feeling.”

Aidan laughed as he leaned against the wall next to the elevator. “That won’t be a problem. She’s honest and so vocal with that honesty that I think she’s embarrassing herself.”

Emily’s own chuckle came back through the phone. “Well if she’s awkward and dealing with baggage, be extra nice to her.”

“I will.”

“Don’t worry, Aid. Things will work themselves out. Be good to her and if it feels like it’s not working out romantically it’s okay to step away too, without being a dick to her of course. There should be two happy people in a relationship.”

“Good point.” Not that Aidan was considering bailing on Shae because of her clear hesitations. His sister did have a point though. “I’m going to head up to my office.”

“Okay cool. Should I call you back later and you can ask me how my day is going, you little shit?” Aidan let out a burst of laughter as he turned and pressed the up button with his elbow. The thing usually took forever. For once the door sprang open. Aidan stuck his foot over the threshold to keep it from opening.

“How’s your day doing, dude?”

“Well as soon as my toe stops throbbing, I think it’ll be right on track. Got three orders in this morning, so that’ll keep me busy for the week.”

“Oh nice.” His sister and Shae had more in common than he realized. Emily also owned her own small business making custom jewelry.

“Yeah, I love marriage proposal season. Maybe one day I’ll make something for one of your women friends.”

“Yeah, maybe. On that note.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk to you soon.”

After he made sure to include hellos to Dave and the kids, he ended the call and stepped into the elevator. His sister was right. He just needed to treat Shae right and let her be herself. Hopefully in time she would see that there wasn’t a single thing about her that he found to be weird or strange or even remotely unattractive. He’d already brought her flowers, so more might be overkill. Maybe there was another way to show how he was feeling about her. He left the elevator, brainstorming ways to further woo her. He made it two feet into the office before Matt was on him, almost knocking the box of bagels out of his hands.

“Tell me you went to Sweet Creams.”

“No man, get off me. I got bagels. They’re closed on Mondays anyway.”

Matt backed off, with this sour look on his face like Aidan had just crushed his wildest dreams. “What’s the point of you dating this chick if you don’t bring in the highest quality of baked good every day?”

Aidan set the bagels and his messenger bag down on his desk, then adjusted his glasses and leveled Matt with a serious stare. “Are you out there dating women just for free food? Are ya, buddy?”

“You say it like that’s a bad idea. The girl likes you. The girl likes to bake. And I personally think I should benefit from these truths in your budding relationship.”

“How about you enjoy the bagels I’m not going to ask you to pay me back for and we never again talk about any woman I’m dating in terms of how they might benefit you.”

“You’re going to get me banned from Sweet Creams if I don’t stop talking about this, aren’t you?” Matt said, his face going slack.

“Hadn’t thought of that, but now that you mention it...”

Matt put up his hands in surrender and started backing toward their office’s small kitchen. “Hey man, I know when to stop rocking the boat.”

“Thanks.”

Aidan didn’t realize he kind of wanted to punch Matt in the face until he had to relax to dig up his phone. Sometime in the seconds between the elevator and Matt’s ambush, he’d missed a text from Shae.

Aidan felt himself smile as he looked at the pictures she’d texted him. She was back in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin, flashing a huge smile. She had her hair wrapped up in a shiny, black bandana with some of her curls springing out of the top.

When Shae sent a Boomerang gif of herself biting her lip and waggling her eyebrows, Aidan’s laugh echoed through their office

“What’s so funny?” Matt asked as he came back to their desks.

“Nothing. Eat your bagel.”

Shae needed keys to Keira and Daniel’s house, just for the winter. It was another freezing cold Monday night, standing on their porch waiting for Keira to answer the door. Okay, maybe Shae was cranky as hell for some unexplainable reason and she was taking it out on the thirty extra seconds it was taking one of them to respond to the sound of their doorbell.

She’d spent the whole day bouncing between feeling pure elation and gut-wrenching dread. Spending time Aidan was great. Sex with Aidan was even better. Between the ice skating, his adorable commentary during not one, but two different Christmas romance flicks and the sex—Shae had to keep the sex in mind because it was that good— she wanted to smile whenever she thought about him.

But for some unknown shitty reason, the butterflies in her stomach would suddenly turn into rabid zombie reindeer, pummeling her already rattled nerves. She’d spent most of the day trying to figure out why and all she could think about was Harvin and that just made her feel worse. And thinking about thinking about Harvin made her feel even worse.

She took a break from the shitty feelings to bake some massive cookies and that had helped a little. Still, she wasn’t able to shake the icky feelings that had almost ruined her day off. The only thing that had saved it was the texts she’d exchanged with Aidan. And the nudes she still had of him on her phone. The nudes she might have referred to before she got in the shower.

She might have been thinking of one of the better shots on her phone when Keira’s front door finally opened. Her fiancé, Daniel, who looked like a male supermodel on a bad day, stood on the other side of the threshold.

“Hey Shae. Come on in.”

“Hey.” Shae stepped inside and gave her cousin-in-law-to-be a quick hug. “Did you get your cupcakes? We had to wrestle Meegan away from them.”

“I did,” Daniel said with his handsome smile. He reached out with his prosthesis and took the bag containing this week’s desserts out of her hand. “They were great. You ever think about selling them?”

“Ha! Good one. Keira’s marrying a natural born comedian,” Shae said, shaking her head. She shrugged off her jacket and followed him into the kitchen where Keira was stirring what smelled like chili. The house was still decorated to accommodate Santa and his whole village, but some Guns N’ Roses song was playing over their stereo system.

“Hey!” Keira set down her wooden spoon and crossed the kitchen to give Shae a hug.

“I’ll be in the bedroom.” Daniel leaned between them and kissed them each on the forehead before handing Keira the bag Shae had brought with her.

“Thanks, baby.”

“Yeah, thanks babe,” Shae added.

“No problem.” He winked at Keira and disappeared down the hallway. Shae almost asked him to come back. She could ask him some questions about his recent work trip. Get the latest updates from the world of pyrotechnics. Anything to stop the inevitable conversation she knew she was going to have with Keira and then with the rest of the girls when they showed up. Of course, Keira dove right in.

“So? How are you feeling?”

Shae sighed and let her shoulders drop. “I don’t even know.”

“Well, two dates in a week is pretty good, so clearly you don’t hate him.” She set down the bag on the table and surveyed its contents, her face lighting up.

“Yeah, chocolate chip cookie sundaes. A crowd favorite,” Shae said.

“Your cookies are the best. I know that sounds gross, but I stand by my statement.”

“I am good at what I do.”

“Okay, so talk to me. You were panicking the other day. You saw him last night and I’m assuming you didn’t kick him to the curb,” Keira said as she shoved the vanilla ice cream in their already packed freezer.

“No. Absolutely not. I like him a lot.”

“But…?”

The sound of the doorbell saved Shae from having to answer.

“Let me grab that.”

“’Kay.” Shae hung tight while Keira went to open the front door. Part of her wanted to text Aidan just to see what he was up to. Which should have made complete sense. She did like him, a lot. When you like someone, you can text them whenever. She reached into her back pocket to pull out her phone right as Erica, Sarah, Joanna and Meegan all came spilling into the room. Shae was swallowed up with hugs and hellos and repeated confirmations that she had indeed brought a fresh baked dessert.

Erica was complaining about her boss’s perfume and Shae was totally on board with that thread of conversation, but Sarah—the traitor—turned to her, eyes bright with excitement.

“Erica, I care. I really do, but Shae is now dating a super hot dude and I want details.” She spun around and grabbed Shae by the shoulders. “Okay, let’s hear it. You. The hot boy. Let’s hear it.”

“Yeah. Dish, dish, dish,” Joanna said.

“And then show us the nudes,” Meegan added.

“Um, no. Let’s see. We’ve been on two dates since last I’ve seen you all. Both dates were very fun. He’s very sweet. I told you he dropped by the store with flowers.”

“But have you fucked him yet?!” Meegan whined.

“We had adult intercourse last night. It was great. I’m not saying anything more than that and no, I’m not showing you the nudes. I already deleted them.” Which was a lie.

“Ah, man!” Meegan and Erica both said.

“We’re going out again this week.” She didn’t mention that she’d invited Aidan to Friendsmas Eve ’cause she knew they’d take that as a sign that she was developing feelings she wasn’t sure of yet. She'd casually mention it in the group chat a couple days before. “Enough about me. Someone’s getting married in less than two weeks.” She turned to Keira and flashed her a bright smile. “Let’s focus on the bride.”

“Eeeee!” Meegan squealed. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah, I—”

“Oh um, I still haven’t found a dress,” Erica confessed. Keira only asked that the bridal party wear silver, but the plus-size selection in silver formal wear ranged from something close to a skintight mini dress to clearly-mother-of-the-bride matronly. Luckily Shae knew just where to shop.

“Here. I got you covered.” She pulled up her phone and brought up the XXI And UP website. “They have three similar styles in silver. I got this one.” She showed Erica a long sleeve, knee length sequin dress. Then clicked over to a similar floor length dress with spaghetti straps and a sexy slit that rose to mid thigh. “Get this one.”

Erica grabbed Shae’s phone out of her hand. “Oh my god, that’s perfect. I’m texting this to myself right now.”

As the wedding chatter continued, Shae filled her chili bowl and faded into the background. Keira’s upcoming nuptials were important. Shae’s confounding stress about Aidan was not. She just had to sort out the butterflies from the rabid zombie reindeer and once she did, she knew everything would be fine.

Santa or Frosty or whoever was just fucking with her. All Shae had to do was go to work and bake. That’s all she had to do, but no. The rapid reindeer had relocated from her stomach to her brain. How could someone worry so much about texting a guy? Hours, she’d spent literally hours, getting herself worked up about wanting to text Aidan and not texting Aidan too much. Shae got herself so worked up that she ruined at least two batches of chocolate and three batches of caramel just thinking and waiting for Aidan’s “well this has been fun, but you’re kind of annoying me” text that never came.

Every time one of them had a free second, they were asking each other about their day. Aidan felt bad about the ruined confections even though he had no idea why Shae had let them go to shit. And then she’d ask him how things were going in the world of online real estate. He sounded stressed, but happy. Shae completely understood. Starting your own business was no joke. She’d had her own adventure finding a storefront she could afford, even with a healthy loan from her parents and her grandmother.

One afternoon when Aidan sent her a picture of their newest listing, she knew he’d been bitten by that independent business bug. It was a simple craftsman with smoke damage and bad plumbing and electric, exactly the sort of listing they needed for their site. Shae felt herself smiling as she looked through the interior shots, thinking of the first batch of cupcakes she’d made in her very own professional kitchen. She hoped that PrimeRealty lived up to the dreams Aidan had for it.

The few nights they were apart, texting with him seemed like the easiest thing to do after a long day. Easier when those texts quickly turned to sexts and Shae found herself getting off to the simple, but ridiculously hot messages from this ridiculously hot guy she was seeing. The next morning it would start all over again. Aidan doing laps through her head, on the back of one of those rapid zombie reindeers, flustering Shae to the point where she knew all she could do was breathe and bake. She had to do something about it and she would. Soon. As soon as she saw Aidan one more time.

Date night arrived, and now that she was standing across from him she realized what the problem was. Shae liked Aidan. A lot and not in the way that made her feel light and fluffy and good, like the economy was suddenly going to bounce back and nations around the globe would start to practice the true meaning of democracy.

No, her feelings for Aidan made her feel completely out of her element and out of control. When she got to his apartment she assured herself it was just butterflies. That worked until she laid eyes on Aidan standing in his doorway, still in a dress shirt, sleeves rolled up and an actual “Kiss the Cook” apron draped around his neck. Shae held up a brown Sweet Creams bag in her hand.

“I brought lemon bars.”

“Hey. Come on in.”

“It smells great in here,” she said, setting down the sweets she’d made just for their night together.

“Not sure I’ve had those before—don’t take off your coat just yet.” Shae froze and shrugged her jacket back onto her shoulders.

“I thought I was a slow cooking genius, but my stew needs another hour,” he said as he closed the door behind her, then led her into his small galley kitchen that looked like it had seen better days. There was evidence of his culinary skills all over the counter. Bits of red potatoes, the ends of carrots and celery, and the fat that had been trimmed off of a whole lot of beef. Shae smiled as she glimpsed an unopened can of biscuits on the edge of the counter near the fridge.

“Are we going somewhere in that hour?” Shae asked and then almost fainted when she turned and saw the way Aidan’s face lit up at her question.

“Yeah. There’s something I want to show you.”

“Okay.”

Shae waited while Aidan shed his apron and grabbed his own coat, then pulled out his phone. “Let me just set a timer. O...kay. You ready?”

Shae swallowed and forced herself to smile. “Yeah, let’s go.” Her whole body warmed as Aidan took her hand and led her down to the parking garage where his car was waiting. After they pulled out on the road, he reached over and took her hand again. Shae looked at his face as he explained where they were going and all she could think about was the feeling of his fingers intertwined with hers. Then all she could think about was kissing him. Shae wanted Aidan so bad she knew nothing good could come from it.