Caroline

Jenna and Richard Bennett’s home has long been one of my favorite places to hang out. Spanning two stories with a red roof on top, you can always count on having a hell of a lot of fun within its walls, or outside on the enormous property. In spring and summer, it’s a sea of green, between the grass and the tall oak trees lining the property. Now the crowns of the trees are a mix of gold and copper, with a tinge of green here and there, though the ground remains a vibrant green. Mercifully, it’s been dry today, because the property can turn into quite a muddy affair after a heavy rain.

Jenna Bennett is shuffling around in the white gazebo on the right side of the house, and I head straight there.

She’s wearing a fairy godmother costume, complimenting my Cinderella costume just right. The sight cracks me up.

“Jenna, your costume is fabulous.” A delicious smell reaches me as I step inside the gazebo, and my mouth almost waters when I notice the giant outdoor pizza oven is on.

“Oooh, I didn’t know pizza was on the menu.”

Jenna smiles. “Easiest way to feed so many people. And it’s a hit with the kids. The first batch should be done in a few minutes. Just waiting to get that crunchy crust.”

“I’ll help you get them inside.”

“Wonderful. I was about to call for reinforcements. By the way, your dad will stop by later too.”

“Really? Wow.”

“Talked to him a few days ago, wasn’t sure I was going to convince him.”

“Jenna, when was the last time you failed to convince someone?”

She gives me a wicked smile, which resembles Pippa’s very much.

“He’s been lonely since Mom passed away. I go to dinner once a week and help him at the bookstore on weekends, but....”

“It’s hard to be alone after you’ve shared your entire adult life with someone. Must feel like half of you is missing. He’s always welcome here. I can imagine he gets lonely on Christmas and such, whereas here it’s a....”

“Full house,” I finish for her.

“Sometimes I think madhouse is the better word, but I love every mad minute.” There is a beat of silence, and then Jenna adds, “I’m so happy you and Daniel found your way back to each other again.”

“We’re having a lot of fun rediscovering each other. We’re taking it slow,” I say quickly, hoping this will keep the conversation from spiraling into a heart-to-heart. When Daniel and I first went out together, it wasn’t uncommon for Jenna and me to talk about our future as if it was a given. This time, I’m determined to live our love one day at a time.

“As you should,” Jenna says. “Even though you have history, it’s important to take the time to discover the people you are now, build a foundation. You never fall in love the same way twice, not even with the same person.”

“That’s excellent advice.”

Jenna is a wise woman. I’ve always been close to her, almost as close as to my mother. In some instances, I even shared more with her than with my own mom, because I didn’t want to worry Mom, and because Jenna isn’t as judgmental.

When the timer of the oven buzzes, Jenna opens the door, pulling one pizza to her, inspecting it. Oh God, it smells delicious. I hope Jenna is happy with the level of crunchiness, or I might have to resort to underhanded tactics to convince her to let me have a slice right now.

“They’re perfect,” she announces, taking out the two pizzas and shoving in two more, setting the timer again. We each carry one inside. Predictably, they’re gone within minutes, and everyone is still hungry.

Daniel arrives when the second batch is ready. He’s drop-dead sexy. I mean, he generally has an air of rebellion about him, even when he wears a suit, but with the cotton shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows, and belt with a large skull in the center, he’s downright delicious. I’m about to shower him with compliments when a distraction arrives in the form of Will, Sebastian’s son, and Elena, Pippa’s daughter.

“Uncle Daniel, Will says there are no fairies, that I’m stupid.”

Will nods and grins.

“Will, you’re not allowed to call your cousin—or anyone else—stupid. It’s rude,” Daniel admonishes.

“But there are no fairies,” Will says stubbornly, stomping his foot.

Elena’s eyes widen. “Yes there are. Uncle Daniel told me so. Tell him, Uncle Daniel. Tell him.”

I mask my laughter with a fake fit of coughing. Ah, my imagination will have a field day trying to visualize how that conversation went between him and Elena. Daniel looks at me for help, but I’m quite curious how he’ll find his way out of this on his own. Both Elena and Will are looking at him expectantly. Elena folds her arms over her chest in a Pippa-like fashion. Will copies her stance a few seconds later.

Daniel lowers himself on his haunches, until he’s at their level, and then he wraps his right arm around Elena, his left one around Will. Warmth flashes through me as I watch him. Goodness, there is so much tenderness and love in the way he holds and talks to them. I’ve never seen this side of him, and I’m surprised at how strongly it impacts me. No matter how much I tell myself, or Jenna, that we’re taking it slow, I can’t help imagining our future.

Belatedly, I realize I’ve been so lost in my thoughts that I missed Daniel’s explanation, and it must have been a good one because both Will and Elena are smiling ear to ear, already moved on to the next topic.

“Uncle Daniel, can you bring me more fairy dust? Pleaaaaaaase.” Elena’s body language is spot-on. Wide, pleading eyes, hands joined in prayer, not to mention the way she says, “Uncle Daniel,” with the sweetest inflection.

“Sure thing.”

Elena smiles, taking Will’s hand, their feud clearly forgotten as they walk to her twin.

“That went well,” Daniel says with the air of someone who just avoided D-day. Damn it, I really wanted to hear him explain about the fairies. But I can’t ask him again without giving away that I’ve been daydreaming.

Daniel touches my face, sliding his hand in my hair, and I realize my lack of teasing him probably made him suspicious. But he doesn’t ask, doesn’t press. Instead, we catch each other looking after Will and Elena, and I’m certain he knows exactly what I’ve been thinking about. 

“Come on. Let’s go bring some extra fairy dust. Mom said she’s keeping all the supplies in the storage room upstairs.”

“What exactly is fairy dust?” I ask as Daniel takes my hand, leading me upstairs.

“Glitter.”

He opens the door of a small storage room, turning on the light. The tiny cubicle is chock-full of supplies.

“We’re never going to find it,” he says on a groan, surveying the mountain of random supplies. 

I chuckle. “Daniel on the search for glitter that he’s trying to pass off as fairy dust to his nieces. Never thought I’d say this sentence. I love this side of you.”

“Yeah?”

I nod, suddenly feeling warm all over. It’s silly, but I feel as if I just confessed a deep secret. Vulnerability grips me, and I break eye contact, afraid I’ll give myself away.

A loud bang sounds from below, startling both of us, but we relax as the unmistakable sound of kids laughing follows.

“These little devils,” he murmurs. “They raise hell whenever they’re all together. But the more, the merrier. The Bennett genes need to be carried on.”

A ball of tension settles in my chest.

“Yours too. I can imagine how pretty a girl would look with your hair, or your eyes. Lovely. Even though I’d have to spend half my life fending off suitors.”

I laugh nervously, my stomach contracting now too. The implication in his words is clear, and part of me is melting into a puddle. But the other realizes this is it. I’ve got to tell him I can’t have kids, so he can cut his losses. Back in college, he hadn’t been crazy about kids, but then again, not many college-aged boys are. If the adoring way he treats his nieces and nephews wasn’t a dead giveaway that he wants his own kids, his proclamation just did. He’ll make a great dad.

This isn’t the right time, no. But there will never be a right time, and he deserves the truth. Gathering my courage, I say, “Dan, remember this morning?”

“When you promised to tell me tonight whatever was bothering you? Yeah.” He leans against the wall next to the open door to the supply room.

I suddenly feel exposed, dressed up in a Halloween costume. Some serious clothes would have been good for this conversation. But I’m not backing out.

“It wasn’t the shelf talk that had me out of sorts, but you mentioning my lady stuff.”

I’m not looking at him, instead fixating on a box inside the room.

“I don’t have any supplies. I don’t need them anymore. A few years ago, I got pregnant. Unexpected, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, it was ectopic. Baby was growing outside the uterus, in the fallopian tube. Not viable. Found out too late, when it grew very large and ruptured. It caused a lot of damage, a hemorrhage, and they had to do a hysterectomy.”

I pause to catch my breath, still not looking at him. “So, I can’t have kids. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t know how or when. This is a lot to put up with. And if you want to cut your losses, I understand.”

It’ll break my heart, but I’ll understand.

I’m still stubbornly looking at the box. My eyes are stinging with unshed tears. He shifts closer to me, brings one hand to my face.

“I’m sorry this happened to you. I can’t imagine how hard it was.”

“It was hard. Mom was with me at the hospital, but I still felt so alone and empty.”

“How about the baby’s father?”

“Oh, he hadn’t been happy about it in the first place. As I said, accidental. We’d split up anyway, and he was relieved.” That phone call had been a low. Hearing his relief while I felt like a fundamental part of me didn’t exist anymore. 

“Dan, say something,” I whisper, chancing a glance at him. The set of his jaw is firm, his eyes hard.

“I’ve never regretted letting you go more than now.”

I cringe, biting the inside of my cheek. “Wouldn’t have changed the outcome. The doctors said I had a rare genetic problem, so a normal pregnancy wouldn’t have been possible. I had faulty equipment to begin with.” 

“Not what I meant. But I’d never have let you go through that alone. I’d have been there, right next to you.”

“Oh.”

“What did you mean with cutting my losses?”

“You want kids, and I can’t give you any.”

“There are other ways to have kids, like adoption.”

The first tendrils of hope grip me, but I have to ask. I have to be sure. “What about the Bennett genes?”

He smiles. “It’s a fun thing to say, but I don’t need a kid to be blood-related to me to love it. Do you?”

“Of course not. Dan, do you mean this? Do you really mean it?”

“I’m dead serious.”

“I wanted to tell you right when you called me after my birthday. But it would have sounded like I assumed too much. I’m still not assuming, by the way. Nothing about the future. Just taking it one day at a time, rediscovering each other.” I kiss his jaw, his earlobe, shuddering lightly. “You’re the best man, Daniel. The best man in the whole world.”

He wraps his arms around me, keeping me close to him, stroking my hair. “Caroline, stop kissing me like this.”

I startle because I wasn’t kissing him in a particularly sexy or seductive way, but he has one hand in my hair, the other on my hip. Maybe he can feel the shift between us too, the incredible closeness. Instead of heeding his request, I continue to kiss down his neck.

“Stop kissing me,” he repeats, his voice rougher.

“I can’t help it. You’re the sexiest pirate I’ve ever seen,” I joke. I need to feel close to him right now. I can’t explain it, but I want to feel as much of his skin as possible. So, I slide my hands under his shirt, my fingertips tracing the ridges of his abdominal muscles, pressing against the tightness. It’s still not enough. 

He fists my hair with the hand at the back of my head. He walks me backward, then unhitches the hand from my waist, and I hear the sound of a handle being pressed down, a door opening. He backs me into one of the rooms, closes the door behind him. Then I hear the unmistakable sound of him locking the door. The room is empty, save for a vanity table and a large mirror hanging over it. Daniel’s intent becomes clear when he looks at me. The lust and determination in his eyes nearly make my knees buckle.

“Here?” I whisper. By way of answering, Daniel tilts my head up, kissing me hard and hot, walking me backward again until my ass presses against the vanity table. Daniel aligns our bodies, pressing our hips together. His erection is straining against his pants. I feel it from my pubic bone right up to my navel.

“Won’t anyone—” I begin when he breaks off the kiss.

“No one will even notice we’re missing. I need to be inside you. I need it, do you understand?”

“I do. Because I need it too.”

He spins me around. “Hold on to the vanity table.”

I don’t even think of disobeying him.

“I need you to be quiet,” he says. He’s behind me but looks me straight in the eyes through the mirror above the table. I nod, anticipation coursing through me.

“No matter how hard you come, you have to stay quiet.”

Oh my. That’s a delicious promise if I ever heard one. While I grip the table, he drops the hand from my waist to my outer thigh, cinching up the fabric of my dress until he reaches my skin. I break out in goose bumps. 

He feathers his fingers from the side of my thigh to the back of my legs, then up, up, up to my buttock. Pushing my thong to one side, he swipes one finger in the crease between my ass cheeks. Heat rushes low in my body. He groans, burying his nose in my hair, breathing in deeply.

Spreading my thighs wide with his knee, he brings his fingers right to the rim of my opening, moving them in a circular motion from one fold, up to my clit, down the other fold. The first wave of pleasure spreads like wildfire through me. I clench the muscles in my ass to steady myself. My fingers spasm.

Daniel slips two fingers at once inside me, and my vision clouds. I grip the table so tightly that my knuckles turn white. He moves his fingers in and out of me in a maddening rhythm until I’m so turned on I can barely see straight. He pushes my dress up my waist. A second later, the rrrrip of a zipper being lowered reaches my ears. Another second later, he buries himself against me so deep that his pubic bone is pressing against my ass.

He stills for a few seconds, wrapping both arms around my middle in a tender hug, staring me straight in the eyes in the mirror.

“I want everything to go right between us this time,” he says in a low, careful voice. “I don’t want us to go too fast, but I’ve waited for so long....”

“That nothing feels fast enough,” I finish for him.

He nods, tightening the hold of his arms, starting to slide in and out of me. “Yes. Exactly.”

I rest my head back on his shoulder. Keeping me close to him like this, he whispers sweet and dirty nothings in my ear.

Tension builds inside me, making my inner muscles clench. Daniel digs his nails in my waist, lowering one hand until he reaches my clit. My thighs quiver and I bite down on my lip to keep from making any noise.

But then he pinches my clit between two fingers and I buck over the table. I’m almost blind from the sudden burst of pleasure.

“Dan,” I say, voice shaky. Straightening up, I feel him spasm inside me, his hand applying more pressure on my clit.

“Dan, oh—”

I take his hand away from my waist and bring it to my mouth. Daniel understands my wish at once and claps his hand around my lips. Any sound I’ll make will be muffled, but I still try with all my might to internalize the pleasure.

The problem with internalizing the pleasure is that it increases the intensity. My nerve endings feel like hot needles. The muscles in my tummy contract, as do those in my ass and thighs. My entire body braces itself for the orgasm. I’ve never come so fast in my life.

“Oh fuck, this feels good,” Daniel whispers. “You’re so tight, baby. So tight, it’s driving me insane.”

I squeeze him so hard with my inner muscles, I nearly come again just from feeling every inch of him filling me up. Heat flashes through me, and it takes me a second to realize why I’m not coming down from the high of the orgasm. Daniel is still touching my clit. Has he no mercy? I attempt to push his hand away, but he shakes his head. 

“Shh, trust me.”

“I’m too sensitive,” I protest, even as pleasure pinches me, feeling like hot needles again.

“I know. But you’re so close. Trust me on this. The second one will be more intense.”

He drives inside me harder than before, his thighs slapping against my ass, his fingers turning me insane. When I feel him widen inside me, I cover my mouth with his hand again.

“Fuuuuuuuuck.” He presses his mouth in the crook of my neck to muffle his own sounds, and it sends me over the edge. I explode all around him for a second time.

Maybe it’s because I finally laid myself bare before him, but even though we’re hiding in a room, dressed up as a pirate and Cinderella, and our lovemaking was rough and hard, I feel closer to him than ever before.

“I feel it too, Caroline.” We make eye contact in the mirror, and I’m surprised at the vulnerability in his gaze. “Everything you feel in this moment, I’m right there with you.”

***

We clean up quickly in the bathroom next door, find the damn glitter, and try not to look too guilty as we head back downstairs. No one seems to have noticed our absence, but maybe that’s because things escalated quickly. Mia and Elena are now fighting over which one has the better costume—they’re identical—and Will ran smack-dab into a cup with orange juice, so he’s now soaked and crying. Sebastian’s trying to cheer him up while Ava changes him.

Their daughter, Audrey, watches them with her lower lip trembling, clearly not impressed that her brother is getting all her parents’ attention. Uh-oh, I sense danger.

I motion Daniel with my head. “Let’s go distract Audrey.”

He grins, holding out his hand in front of me.

“Ladies first. After you.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, feigning disgust. “Coward. Sending me to the wolves first.”

He steps right next to me, bringing his lips to my ear. “Hey, you’re better with kids than me. Besides, I love hanging in the back. I get a perfect view of you swinging your ass from side to side.”

“You can’t even make out any shape under all these layers.”

“I’ve got the sight of it naked imprinted on my retinas.”

“Daniel!” I admonish in a whisper. “We’re surrounded by your family.”

“Makes this so much more fun. Seeing you turn red to the roots of your hair.”

“Stop that. Unless you don’t want to get laid for three days straight.”

He throws his head back, laughing. Laughing! Yeah, my admonishing skills need a lot of work.

“Sweetest challenge I ever heard.”

We calm Audrey down by distracting her with a game of trick or treat. Before long, Will joins us too. Dad arrives shortly after seven, looking around incredulously.

“What is your costume, mister?” Mia asks him as soon as I introduce her to him.

Dad glances at me for help. He’s wearing regular clothes, a shirt and cotton trousers.

“He’s a librarian,” I say with as much seriousness as I muster.

Mia frowns. “Which story had a librarian?”

“Bet all of them did. All castles had a library. They needed a librarian.”

Mia ponders this for a few seconds before nodding. “Do you want to treat or trick, Mr. Librarian?”

Dad smiles and Mia takes his hand, leading him to the other kids. The party lasts late into the evening, and between seeing Dad smiling more than he’s done in ages and feeling Daniel’s gaze on me, the warmth of his family surrounding us, I can’t help hoping there will be many more evenings like this one.