“I don’t need a fucking babysitter.” I slammed my hands onto the steering wheel of my parked car, accidentally hitting the horn. The sound sent the geese that were walking across the cemetery lawn into flight. I watched as they disappeared into the cloudy sky. “Call it off. I don’t want some chick hanging all over me pretending to be my girl.” Arm Candy was a go-to for my record label when they needed a public relations fix. It was no surprise that my manager called them up. He wanted it to look like I’d moved on. I had, but not the way he expected.

“Don’t do anything stupid like last year,” Felix said. “I don’t want another call from the cops telling me to pick your drunk ass up at the cemetery on the date of her death.”

I looked around at the green grass and the granite markers. “No chance of that. You booked me a tour so that couldn’t happen.” In the distance under the oak tree sat Deb’s grave. “I gotta go.”

“Where are you at?”

“The cemetery,”

“Fuck,” he responded.

I pressed end and climbed out of my car. The phone rang right away. I saw that it was Felix again and tossed my cell onto the seat before I walked away. Had it been three years already?

I made my way up the hill and stood in front of her gravestone.

Debra Tyler

Beloved Daughter

Singer

Song Writer

“I’m early this year, Debs,” I began. “Normally, I would have brought a bottle and shared it with you, but I’m sober now for six months and staying that way.” Last year I’d brought a case of her favorite wine and we drank it together. Each time I tipped one bottle back, I poured another on the grass where she was buried. “I start a new tour tomorrow.”

It’s funny how I waited for her reply. A reply that never came except for her voice in my memory. Somewhere in my head, I heard her tell me to knock them dead.

“I’m getting a babysitter.” My legs folded under me as I sat on the grass and picked the dandelions from around the granite marker. “Can’t really blame them for wanting to protect their investment, but honestly I only get in trouble one time a year.” The anniversary of Deb’s death was the hardest day of the year for me. She was in the business like me. Traveling around and making her mark on the world. People compared her to Janis Joplin and she died the same way. Heroine was a stone cold killer. What really dug at my heart was the fact that I didn’t even know she was using. I blamed myself because a good friend should have known.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry our careers pulled us apart.” Deb was my best friend, sometimes lover, and always confidant. We couldn’t have a traditional relationship because we rarely crossed paths, but when we did, it was amazing. I’ve often thought about what would have happened had I been there. Would I have seen the signs? Could I have stopped her from spiraling out of control?

“You fucked it all up.” It was the same thing I told her every year when I visited her grave. She’d just won a Grammy. As soon as she left the stage, she called me. I was in Scotland where I was doing a benefit concert for cancer. She rambled on quickly, about a thousand words a minute. That should have been a clue. I thought it was excitement, but after watching the replay of her acceptance speech and seeing how dilated her eyes were and how much she fidgeted on the stage, I knew she was on something stronger than wine. “You really fucked it up.”

In the silence I listened for her reply. Other than the wind, nothing moved and not a sound could be heard until the familiar sound of a shutter clicked in the distance. I looked over my shoulder to see the long lens of a camera. They never left me alone. They were like a black cloud that followed me everywhere.

I lifted my hand in the air and gave the photographer the finger. That should make some news.

I lowered my hand, pressed my fingers to my lips and touched her name. “See you next year.” I rose and shoved my hands in my pocket. Hanging my head low, I walked to my car and climbed inside. In the fifteen minutes I was gone there were as many calls—all from Felix.

I texted him back.

I’m headed to the studio to lay down those tracks. See … no babysitter needed.

He responded immediately.

Glad to hear it, but Gia is on her way. If nothing else she can be good company for you. You could use a friend.

Company was the last thing I needed, and I didn’t want any more friends. I liked my quiet life. Isolation was infinitely less painful.

The car started with the push of a button. I left the cemetery but not without my tail. The press always seemed to stick to me like lint on tape. The last three years I’d made the headlines getting drunk and being stupid.

This year, they would be sadly disappointed. I’d be like Waldo and everyone would wonder where the hell I was when I wasn’t on stage.

It took me two hours to lay down the tracks Felix needed to finish the album. I walked down the street to the local barbershop to get a trim with the paparazzi hot on my heels.

I turned around. “No story here.”

If the press wanted to follow me, that was fine. Sober, I was an average guy. I woke up in the morning like every other man and took a piss. I might live in a million dollar house in the hills and drive a fancy Mercedes Benz, but I was still an ordinary man living in extraordinary circumstances.

Who would’ve thought that a homeless guy playing for dollars on Sunset Boulevard would make the big time? I still didn’t believe it myself. It’s in these times of reflection that I miss Deb the most.

We met at the recording studio. She was a newbie too. All starry eyed and motivated. Not beautiful in the traditional sense. I was never drawn to women who looked like they stepped off a magazine cover. Debs was trouble with a big T and it showed from her purple hair to the tattoos that covered her body. In fact, she wasn’t really my type either, but I loved her energy and the way she attacked life without reservations. It was probably the thing that got her into trouble. She rode life hard.

We were polar opposites, which was why it hadn’t really worked out for us. If I’m honest with myself, I was a whole lot more attached to her than she was to me. She got me. She understood the business. Over the last six months, in my sober state I’d questioned our relationship over and over in my mind. I thought I was more than a willing cock when we got together.

Having grown up on the street with no one and nothing, I needed to belong to someone. In my mind I belonged to Deb. Sadly, the truth was Deb belonged to everyone. She was a free spirit and belonged to no one.

“Just a trim?” I came to the same guy each month. He knew who I was and didn’t care.

“Yep, that’s all I need.”

“Keep it simple, son.”

The way he always called me son made me smile. Hell, for all I knew he could be my father. When people asked about my parents, I told them I was hatched from an egg. Abandoned at eight by a drug addict mom, I lived in the system until I was eighteen, and then on the streets until Felix Harper happened upon me. I was twenty-two. That was six years ago.

“Simple is the best.”

Twenty minutes later, I was back in my car and heading for home. As I pulled up to the gate, I saw her. She sat on the ground with her chin on her knees. Her long hair floated over her shoulders. When she glanced up, my heart stalled. Fucking gorgeous. It wasn’t unusual for a fan to camp out at my gate, but it was unusual for me to notice anything about them. Maybe sobriety wasn’t the best idea. At least drunk, I walked through life unaware of my surroundings. This woman couldn’t be ignored. Long hair, eyes that pierced my soul, and when she stood, I noticed she had curves for fucking days. Big tits, narrow waist, and an ass I wanted to bite.

I rolled down the window and said something unexpected. “If you’re looking for a good time, I might be in the mood.”

Eyes like brilliant gemstones opened wide. Her full lips dropped open and then closed. With a head tilt to the left she said, “Is that right?”

“Sure, baby.” I clicked the gate open. “Come on in, and we’ll get better acquainted.”

“Perfect,” she said. “Let me get my car.”

I watched her flawless ass disappear in my rear view mirror. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all. A quick lay and an early night sounded like exactly what I needed before the stress of a month on the road.

When a white car pulled behind me, I drove inside and closed the gate behind us. I pulled into the garage while she parked on the circular drive in front of the door. She climbed out of the sedan and leaned against the hood. Yep, this woman was exactly my type. She’d be in my bed in minutes and out of my life forever. Perfect.

“Since you know who I am, I think it’s only fair you tell me your name.”

Her smile made my dick twitch. “Since we’re going to get really close very soon, I think it’s fair.”

I put my arm around her shoulder and walked her up the stairs to my front door. “Now we’re talking.”

She turned toward me and looked up with those brilliant green eyes of hers. “My name is Gia Simone, and I’ll be with you every minute of the next month.”

“Fuck me,” I said when it became apparent that I’d just propositioned my warden.

“Not a chance, mister.”