Sometime during the night we had changed drivers. Although Abel had enough energy to make love to me two more times last night, he was dead to the world today. I peeked out the window to find that we had stopped the buses in front of a restaurant.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and went about my real job, which was taking care of the details. I walked slowly into the restaurant, feeling the ache of having been so thoroughly satisfied the night before. I ordered breakfast for all the band members.

The guys razzed me when I knocked on their bus door. They all knew I’d spent the night with Abel but they didn’t make me feel dirty about it.

I handed a stack of Styrofoam containers to Jess, who stood nude in the doorway of the bus. I’d seen more penis in the last few days than I’d seen my whole life, but the most beautiful one laid between the legs of the sleeping man on the bus next to us.

“Clean up when you’re done,” I told them before I turned and headed toward Abel.

When I walked to the bedroom, he was still asleep. I debated waking him up with food or my mouth. As the saliva built on my tongue I decided to be bold. With care, I pulled back the covers and looked at the sex god in front of me. He was perfection all the way from his bushy beard to his perfect toes.

I stared at his cock and licked my lips. It must have felt me staring because it twitched and rose as if reaching for my mouth. Before I chickened out, I climbed on the bed beside him and stroked him with my tongue. That was all it took for him to become a steel rod. When I wrapped my wet lips around him and took him in my mouth as far as I could, he moaned out the sweetest sound of pleasure.

My head bobbed while my tongue ran the length of him. I cupped his heavy balls and caressed them. Each time I moved, he moved. When his hands threaded through my hair, I knew he was fully awake.

“Fuck. That feels so good.” He didn’t force me onto his length. He merely followed my motion and made delicious sounds while I sucked him.

His muscles tightened as did his hands in my hair. The slight pull made me ache take him deeper. I inhaled and relaxed my throat. As he slipped further into my hot mouth I heard him hiss.

“Gia,” he warned. “I’m going to—”

I pressed him deep into my throat and hummed.

“Holy shit.”

That was the last I heard from him before he spilled himself into my mouth. Like he did to me on the counter last night, I sucked and stroked every shudder from his body. I lapped up his saltiness and licked him clean.

When I moved away, he reached down and pulled me onto his chest. For minutes we lay there in silence. His heart beat under my ear. It went from fast to steady.

“I’ve never,” he started.

“I’m sure that’s not true.” I giggled.

“I’ve never felt so comfortable so fast with a woman. You are so good for me Gia. I can’t believe I tried to send you away.”

“I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me until the end of the tour.” The thought of leaving Abel made my stomach twist. It had only been days, but I was falling in love with him.

After round two last night, we laid in each other’s arms and shared our lives. To everyone on the outside, Abel looked like a man who had it all, but inside he was empty. He had money and possessions, but they didn’t fill the need he had to be loved. I saw it right away. Abel Kincaid needed love and I was happy to provide it for as long as I could.

“Are you hungry?” I asked him.

“Famished. You?”

I rolled off his body and looked at his rising length. “I already ate.” I rarely teased and joked in my life. I’d spent far too long having to adult the very people who were supposed to take care of me. I didn’t mind the job but it was nice to be able to feel flirty and have fun.

“Are you satisfied?”

My fingers trailed down his rock hard stomach to float across the velvety skin of his cock. “Are you offering to feed me again?”

Before I could blink, Abel was straddling my hips and removing my clothes. “I’m going to fill you up, baby. You’ll never be hungry again.”

The pancakes I brought got cold as the morning was spent devouring each other.

We fell back to sleep and woke in time to get ready for the concert that night.

I went back to the bus to wait for him. It didn’t skip my notice that he’d changed the code to the date we met. Some women would say that was sweet, but to me it was downright romantic.

The days went by like that. It was a continuous loop of concerts and sex until we reached the east coast.

Each day I showed up with breakfast for everyone. Jess had started to answer the bus clothed, which was a shock. They’d done their best to keep the tour bus clean, and I’d done my best to tidy it when I could but most of my time was spent getting to know Abel. As we neared the anniversary of Deb’s death, I noticed a change in him. He was still loving, but he seemed tense and tight. Whereas during the day we normally cuddled in the bus and listened to music or made love, the last few days he’d pulled away.

I checked the bus constantly for alcohol, which seemed silly because he’d never had a single drink since I’d been with him. I was the one sneaking a glass of wine during the concerts and brushing my teeth so he didn’t taste it on me when he kissed me.

Two nights before the anniversary of her death, Abel made love to me with fierce passion and he begged me to never leave him. That was the day I knew I’d fallen in love with him. He was a broken man, and I was the glue that fixed him. I promised him that I’d be with him for as long as he wanted.

I meant it until my father called and told me he was in trouble. Somehow he’d been able to finagle a bookie into a loan. Of course, he’d lost, and now he was afraid they’d come and break his other arm.

When Abel walked into the bus that day he heard me tell my father I’d be on the next plane home and we’d figure everything out.

Abel dropped the vase of flowers he was carrying. They crashed to the tile floor, sending red roses, water, and shards of glass everywhere.

He looked at me as if I’d just ripped his heart out of his chest. “You’re leaving me?”

I stood up but was halted in my progress to him. Barefooted I couldn’t cross the river of water, broken glass and thorny flowers.

“Let me explain,” I begged.

He shook his head. “No need. I’ll be fine.” He turned and walked away, and with him went my heart.

I pulled on socks and shoes and searched for him but we were in Atlanta and the crowds swallowed us up. I went to the crew bus but he wasn’t there. I texted and called and got no answer.

After I cleaned up the mess I went back to our bedroom. Our bedroom. I fell into bed and pulled the pillow that smelled like him to my chest. I was being pulled apart by two men that I loved. My father, who should be able to take care of himself, and Abel, who I wanted to take care of. Both needed me. Loyalty tugged at my head, but love tugged at my heart.

I texted my father first.

Can’t save you from yourself. I love you Dad, but it’s time to face your demons. I’ve wired you what money I have. If you gamble it away, you’ll be gambling me away too. Pay them what you can and lay low until I get home.

Love,

Gia

Next I texted Abel.

Come home so we can talk. I need to tell you something.

Yours to love,

Gia

It was a weird way to sign a message, but I was his. He’d claimed me that first day and I wanted to tell him I loved him. I wasn’t going to leave him.

My heart broke when Abel didn’t reply. I’d failed him and failed my job. I was supposed to keep things together for him during this hard time. After one night of lovemaking, he told me the reason he mourned Deb so much was not because he loved her romantically. That had ended as soon as it began. It was because he felt he’d failed her. He hadn’t seen the signs. He hadn’t listened to her silent pleas for help.

I tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault. People made bad decisions all the time. Here I was giving advice that I didn’t heed myself. I’d been enabling my father and it wasn’t helping him. I saw him falling and failing, and I picked him up every time. He was making bad decisions for himself and yet I always felt like if I somehow made more money or did more for him, he wouldn’t need to gamble his sorrows away.

Right then, I realized Abel and I were more alike than different. We both felt inadequate to save the ones we loved. I couldn’t imagine what it felt like to watch his mother fall into drugs and then find out he wasn’t important enough for her to stick around. The same happened with Deb. She had it all, but like Abel she felt empty and turned to drugs to fill the void. I would fill Abel’s void with love if the damn man would just come home.

I waited in the concert hall in the second best seat of the house. My heart stilled when I watched him walk in. There were no signs that he was drinking. His gait was steady and his voice was strong.

He stopped when he saw me. A thousand emotions crossed his face but indifference seemed to be the one that won out.

He picked up his guitar and fined tuned it. Though I wanted to rush to him and tell him I was sorry, I was also angry that he’d ignored my texts and calls so I sat and watched him go through his routine.

When the crowd began their chant, he walked past me without a word.

When he exited the stage for a towel or water, it was never my side that he went to. That hurt me more than he could imagine but I understood that somewhere deep inside Abel was a little wounded boy and I’d allow him to act like one for now. When the concert was over, he rushed past me and back to the bus. I had everything ready like I did each night he performed, but tonight he walked into the bedroom and closed the door, leaving me alone.