NICOLE

Closing her eyes, Nicole shut out every other sound except the laughter of the children. It was such a melodic, happy, and soothing sound. It made being around so many different kinds of shifters easier.

“They are so fragile. We should watch over them,” her tigress spirit said within her.

Nichole kept her eyes closed. She could hear and smell far better than she could see anyway. If anything, threatening was coming she’d know it. Years of solitude made her senses so fine trained that she could feel how many sets of eyes were on her, watching her.

She knew that Rafi was having the mixed shifter pack make camp around her, always putting her at the center. He was afraid that she would leave the pack. He was wrong. While his strength of authority in his voice was strong enough to command most of the pack, there were some who were unaffected by it. Nicole was one of four who could not be forced to do anything by the alpha.

The tigress spirit sharing her body bowed to no authority but her own. Rafi told her that this did not bother him because he did not wish to hold anyone prisoner. It didn’t change that he still tried to put as many pack members as he could between herself and any exit.

Nicole was happy to be around people again. She craved the interaction. Her tigress loved the children and craved having some of her own.

“Nicole?” Rafi spoke her name. “May I approach?” he asked.

She opened her eyes but did not look at him. He was standing off to her right. The children were playing games about four yards in front of her. “Yes,” Nicole responded.

Rafi sat down next to her on the ground. “Are you feeling at home with us yet? You tend to keep to yourself. There are many of us who love you Nicole. I love you, but you know this already. I want you to be happy with us.”

Nicole smiled at the children. They were playing tag with blindfolds on and using their shifter senses to catch each other. “You ask me this nearly every day, Rafi. What is it you really want to know?”

“You haven’t mated yet. When you joined the pack last year, you said it was because you loved to see the shifter children playing together.” Rafi paused smiling at the children too. His slanted eyes shrank a little as his cheeks rounded. Rafi turned his smile toward Nicole. “Your aching to be a mother. We can all see it.”

“He is not our mate.” Nicole’s Tigress spirit complained from within.

We have no mate. Nicole responded internally to her tigress.

Nicole forced her body to relax. “I am. Are you volunteering to get me pregnant, Rafi?”

The startled expression on his face made Nicole laugh.

“Is this truly what you wish for? I am a wolf, I mate for life.”

His offer is very attractive because any child they would have would be born with alpha werewolf traits as well as tiger traits. It would be a very powerful shifter which would give the child a greater chance of surviving.

“I know you have lost everyone that you’ve ever loved. I know that you say you cannot love as any mate would expect to be loved, that your heart is broken.” Rafi reached forward and took her hand in both of his.

His hands were larger than hers and the texture rough, but warm. It did not touch her soul, or make hear heart sing like she knew it would if Rafi were truly her mate. However, he was patient and he was protective of the pack.

He would make a good father.

Rafi, leaned in slowly giving Nicole ample time to pull away. She remained still, even closed her aquamarine blue eyes to invite his kiss. Going year after year, untouched and unloved hurt.

You can’t hurt me anymore. She thought hoping the words would somehow find her destined mate and dead or alive he’d know she was finished with him.

Nicole leaned into Rafi meeting his lips with hers. The groan of lust that came from Rafi was an encouraging sign that he enjoyed her touch. The feel of his warmth pressed against her was comforting. Perhaps it didn’t need to be love that brought two people together, maybe this comforting friendship would be enough to form a lasting relationship.

When Rafi’s hand slid up her arm and curled around her breast, Nicole stiffened. He pressed his tongue into her mouth groaning as his fingers squeezed her breast lightly.

It was too much.

Nicole pulled back. When Rafi saw the expression on her face his hand dropped away from her breast. “I’m sorry. You are a beautiful woman. I will remember you need me to go slowly.”

Breathe.

Nicole sucked in air and then let it out slowly. His hand was no longer at her breast, in fact Rafi scooted back a few inches and was waiting for her to tell him what she wanted. Another deep breath and slow exhale brought her back to her calm state of mind.

“Will you let me try again? I can wait until you’re ready. I won’t push you to do more than what you want to do, okay?”

Nicole nodded because she didn’t know what she should say to Rafi. She would never enjoy his touch but she might get to the point where she could tolerate it. This would give her another chance, perhaps her last chance at having an heir.

“It is our duty to bring an heir.” Her tigress spirit echoed her own thoughts but it was no less annoying. To silence the nagging that the tigress was certain to begin again, Nicole smiled at Rafi offering him more encouragement.

The children raced by grabbing Nicole’s attention again. Her blue eyes followed them as they raced about the camp. They might not be her children, but it didn’t change the fact that she loved them and wanted to make certain they were safe.

Members of Rafi’s mixed pack were drawing in closer. Each of these shifters was either the last members of their families or outcasts. They gravitated to Rafi. Craved his acceptance and attention as the pack leader.

Their closeness was making her tigress feel closed in, caged. Nicole fought the urge to shift and demand the shifter pack give her more space by allowing her tigress to spring forth.

I’ve let you take charge for far too long. You don’t get to push everyone away. Nicole told the tigress.

“You know that very soon we will be traveling in more dangerous areas,” Rafi said leaning in close and speaking loudly.

This kind of behavior usually meant he’d already asked her this question more than once but she’d been somewhere else in her mind instead of in the present.

“Yes, you’ve mentioned this to me several times now. I know what you are going to say next too. You don’t want me to take my run alone.”

“I worry for you. I know that you are a very strong but you and I both know this world has been cruel to your kind, long before the humans even knew of shifters. You are special, Nicole.”

Nicole pushed back her shoulder length brown hair. “I can’t always control my tiger. You know this. For the safety of the pack, I go alone.” Standing, she ignored Rafi’s body stiffening.

He did not like it that she chose to disobey him. “Allow me to follow you this time. I will keep a respectful distance. You will not even know that I am there,” Rafi promised.

“I’ll know.” Nicole could feel the tigress spirit crouching within her, ready to spring forward. She dashed forward a hundred yards beyond the campsite. The pack was spreading out to try and watch her, to keep an eye on her and make sure she didn’t leave them.

Her tigress growled within her body, demanding to be set free. Nicole held her back as long as she could, trying to regain more of her strength over the tigress. It was going to take time to get back the control she used to have over the tigress, but she would do it again.

When she was nearly a mile from the camp she relaxed and the tigress pushed forward as Nicole knew she would. The roar of her tiger always sounded when she shifted. It cleared the trees of birds and told all the animals to take off.

Her bones shifted over rolling joints, thickening and changing. The teeth of the tigress long and sharp felt more like her teeth than her human teeth because of how long she stayed in tiger form. It was so much easier in tiger form. Hiding from the world as a tiger was no longer an option.

It was the coward’s way out. I am no coward. Not anymore.

Several of the pack has managed to stay close enough to keep an eye on her. Rennin the Manx with his four horns and his telltale clopping feet was fast but not at all quiet to the ears of Nicole’s tiger.

Henna a coyote shifter was much quieter but Nicole knew they rhythm of her heart, and the way she liked to stay low to the ground.

Nicole’s tiger purred a sound of amusement. She raced up a thick tree, her claws sinking easily into the bark and wood. It only took three leaps to reach the forest top. From there she traveled from tree to tree until she reached the mountain. The climb from below was much too difficult for either Henna or Rennin to make.

Her tiger was pleased with herself until she heard the swooping sound of wings overhead.

Medley.

The teen girl, a falcon shifter. Not only was she incredibly fast but she was smart, out of reach in the sky, and wasn’t going to be ditched no matter how hard the tiger tried. The young girl was grateful to Rafi for taking her in when her own family was killed by hunters. Her loyalty to him was strong. She would tell Rafi where Nicole went to be alone.

This will have to be the last time we visit the lake.

“Why not scare the girl when we go back and tell her not to take away our freedom? She is a bird, we can crush her.” Nicole’s tigress argued, her white fur with black stripes stood up at her back.

Nicole did not answer the tigress because arguing with her did very little good and because she knew that once she was able to swim in the lake she would feel better and forget her annoyance with the teen girl who was only doing as Rafi asked.

Nicole continued up the mountain. She looked back toward camp once she reached the crest. It wasn’t the pack that her tiger missed, it was the children. The ache inside to grow a baby and feel the little spirit inside her womb burned like she’d gobbled up a fire pit of hot coals.

Soon. Nicole promised the tigress. Soon we will become pregnant with the heir. Patience.

The rumbling growl was her tiger’s response.

Medley flapped her long brown and white wings, climbing higher into the blue sky. She probably heard the growl and believed it was meant for her. The tigress leaped up onto a boulder and then again into the air swiping at Medley before Nicole could stop her.

The falcon was easily fast enough to avoid the grasping claws of her tiger but the fear in the eyes of the bird as she climbed into the sky like a rocket made Nicole feel bad that she’d scared the young woman.

I’ll have to apologize to her now for you. She’s only a tall kid you know.

The tigress slid halfway down the boulder and then leaped onto the rocky floor. She didn’t care about giving apologies. Her tigress wanted freedom. She wanted to be given full control over the body they shared.

Nicole refused, holding on to her consciousness. It wasn’t as easy as it might seem. Letting go would be like sleeping safely without a worry in the world. That safety and warmth were addictive but she hadn’t given in to it in more than five months now.

Waking up and not knowing what she might have killed or done was not enjoyable in the least. Remembering the way her Tiger hungered after that last hard winter, the way she’d targeted the humans helped Nicole to hold on to her consciousness. No one else needed to be hurt.

Medley let out a cry from far above.

She circled overhead telling Rafi exactly where Nicole was. Her tigress roared angrily up at the bird. Her dislike of the teen girl growing by leaps and bounds.

She is obeying her pack leader.

Her tiger did not bother to respond this time. She simply didn’t care. The pack was annoying to her. Always too close, always wanting to talk and be human.

The cry of the coyote was a distance back in the forest. She wasn’t going to find her way over the mountain in less than a few hours, not unless she could climb that same tree and make the leap onto the mountain that Nicole’s tiger made. Henna wouldn’t risk shifting into her human form and having to deal with Nicole’s tiger. She wouldn’t climb the tree and neither would the other spy, Rennin.

Nicole forced her tiger to stop and listen. Searching out the noises of the forest for Rafi. Would he come and watch her now that he knew where she was?

After waiting some time and not hearing Rafi, Nicole sighed with relief and allowed her tiger to continue to the lake. She couldn’t help being pleased with Rafi. He made it clear that he was worried for her safety but he wasn’t coming and invading her space. There was a level of respect there that she was happy to find.

“They are not our pack. We do not have family. No more family,” her tigress snarled.

Nicole bristled inside. The tiger correcting her thoughts was not something she could tolerate, not if she was going to be the one in charge of the body they shared.

You want an heir, don’t you? The tigress didn’t answer but Nicole could feel the burning ache in their shared belly. Rafi is the strongest male we’ve come across in years. If we let him mate with us he will be the father of the baby.

“We need no father. I will protect what is ours.”

You don’t get to make that decision.

The tigress growled as she padded up to the bank of the lake. She was angry and fighting Nicole for the power role of their body. When she started running, Nicole tried to push forward and stop the tigress but to her dismay, her tiger wasn’t allowing her any control.

She leaped up onto the outcropping of rocks and bounded forward nearly capturing Medley who’d foolishly come down to drink from the lake and had believed herself safe. Medley let out as cry as she jetted into the air and back toward camp.

Nicole was outraged but more than that she was terrified. The tiger was so much stronger than Nicole realized. It was still much too dangerous to be around Rafi’s pack, or any pack for that matter. Not when her tigress was the one in the driver’s seat.

We won’t go back. Nicole told her tiger.

“We will go and get with child from Rafi.”

Nicole pushed hard trying to come forward and shove her tiger to the back to take back control. It wasn’t working. The tigress was digging her mental claws in refusing to give Nicole an inch.

I will not tell him to mate with us, tigress. You do not get to be in control.

Her tiger roared with rage at being denied something that she could not take for herself. Still, she was not allowing Nicole to come forward. The both of them were so angry and distracted that they almost missed the feint scent on the wind.

Someone is here.

Three sharp pings sounded and pain radiated through her back. It was followed by numbness and she crumpled to the earth. It was sleepiness taking over her body, not death. Fighting it off was impossible. Her eyelids dropped as Nicole fought to stay awake.

I should have listened to Rafi.

With Medley chased off by her tiger, there was no one to go for help. The sound of people approaching her heavy body was the last thing Nicole comprehended and knew she was either never going to wake up, or she was going to wish that she didn’t

.