Chapter Five
Detro peppered me with questions every time I brought him a meal. Why did humans have different hair and eye colors? Were some colors preferred to others? What kind of foods did humans enjoy eating? Would I rather be too hot or too cold?
At first, I was flustered by his questions. I was more interested in keeping him happy than giving him information. But he saw right through that.
“How many times must I tell you not to fear me? I want honest answers. I want to help the humans below us and the ones on this ship, including you.”
“What if I give you an answer you don’t like?” I asked.
“No harm will come to you,” he said.
“What if I don’t know the answer?” I said. “I don’t know why humans have different hair colors and I don’t know if I would rather be too hot or too cold. It would depend on where I was.”
He nodded and smiled at me. “That was perfect, exactly what I was looking for. Come, sit with me.”
I moved carefully to a chair next to his desk. I sat down, perched on the edge in case I needed to get up suddenly to do something for him.
“Do you like basda?” he asked.
I nodded. It was a rare treat I had only tasted a handful of times. He poured me a heavy cupful and handed it to me. The hot cup warmed my hands and I breathed in the nutty scent of it and then took a careful sip. It warmed me from head to toe and after a few more sips I could feel my heart start to race from the caffeine.
“Go easy on that,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s pretty strong.”
I nodded and put the cup down and then, emboldened by the caffeine, I spoke quickly, “I’m afraid I’m not the right human for this job. I’ve never even seen Earth. The only humans I know are people like me, who have spent their entire lives in servitude. I don’t know what normal humans like or do. I’m not normal.” I regretted the words the moment I spoke them. This could drive me away from the one Goseb who had ever been nice to me. But that was the problem. He was nice. I didn’t want to lie or deceive or trick him.
“Come,” he said, and to my surprise he held out his hand to me. His ungloved green hand. It was so rare for a Goseb to be without his armor, but Detro looked so comfortable out of it. It was starting to feel normal to see him so unguarded.
He walked to the screen and focused in on the human camp. The long lines of white tents shuddered in the wind.
“What is a normal human?” he asked me. “The Goseb invasion took place over eighty years ago. Other than a few scattered groups of human rebels, all of you live under our dominion. Most of you have never known a life without the Gosebs. You are a normal human, Mereen. This is what normality is for humans now. We can never go back; we can only press forward. Humans and Gosebs are intertwined and we can never be separated. We must accept this new normal and push forward into it.”
I couldn’t understand this Goseb in front of me. He and his people had all of the power. We were their prisoners. We worked without pay. Our lives were owned by them. They could do anything with us. Yet, here Detro was talking about peace and prosperity and kindness. I had never heard a Goseb speak like this before. I had never been treated with respect. I had never been listened to.
I thought about Detro all the time. I wanted to do well at this task he had given me. I watched my fellow humans. I listened to their complaints, logging them away for later. I gathered knowledge for him. I hoarded it and, the moment I saw him, I gave it all to him.
I slowly grew more comfortable around him. It was no longer strange when he offered me a glass of basda or welcomed me to sit down and speak with him. He was still intimidating, he still held my life in his hands, but I trusted him with my life. I knew he wouldn’t abuse it or throw it away. He valued me. He was the first Goseb who ever did.
“I was reading a report about humans before the invasion,” Detro said. He was lounging in his bed reading off a pad as I set his lunch up around him. “Most humans lived in family units. One mother, one father, multiple children and often a larger set of relatives - aunts, uncles, grandparents - to help with raising the children.
“It’s so different from the Goseb way. The moment our children are old enough to talk they are sent to the training academies. There they learn to read, do math, fight. The young ones are watched. Some are better at fighting, others are good with machines. The trainers then decide what that young student is best suited for and the focus of their education tightens. We are not close to our parents on the Goseb home world. We are much closer to the students we attend the academies with.
“But the humans are devastated when they are separated from their children. Quite often the mothers never recover. There has been some talk about improving the education centers for humans, but I fear separating children and their parents might not be the best way to go with your people. What do you think?”
“I think of my mother,” I said. I couldn’t look at him anymore. Instead, I stared at the orange planet on the screen. A huge dust storm was developing in the south. I could see the heavy clouds marring the planet's surface.
“She was a cook at the garrison. She worked all day, rising early in the morning and working straight through into the night. But she still found time for me. I would hide under the tables during the day, watching the feet of the humans as they worked. They used to slip scraps down to me, little sweets. My mother used to check on me. I can still remember it so clearly. I knew what her feet looked like. I would see her coming and then she would lean over and look at me under the table, and she would smile or make a funny face and then go back to work.
“She must have been so tired, but she still found time for me. She would sit up with me when I was sick. She would stay up late into the night to teach me how to read and write. I can still remember her smell, the way she hugged me. But it wasn’t just her taking care of me. I think I helped to take care of her. She told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to her.”
I had lost myself in my memories. I forgot where I was and who I was talking to. I put away all the pretensions I normally wore around the Gosebs. As I spoke I walked towards the screen and looked down at the planet with my back to Detro.
“Where is she now?” He asked.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. When I was fourteen a Goseb commander at the garrison was promoted. He was allowed to choose which prisoners he wanted to take and he chose my mother. For a while we managed to communicate with each other, passing messages between humans travelling between the two camps. But after a while I stopped receiving messages from her and I didn’t know where to send mine. I haven't spoke to her in over ten years.”
“What was the commander's name?” Detro asked.
“Winsam,” I answered, still feeling far away and distant. Still remembering my mother’s smile, the feel of her hair, the way she used to talk in her sleep. “I think it is very cruel to separate families. We humans already have so little. It’s such an easy thing to let us stay together for at least a little while.”
I turned to face him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed and he nodded wordlessly at me.
“And what about marriage?” he asked. “Is that still a custom humans have?”
I nodded.
“Have you ever been married?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Why not?” he asked. “You are beautiful by any measure.”
“It’s not for me,” I said, with a shake of my head, still staring at X29. “My life is already hard enough. I never have any time to myself. Adding someone else just makes everything so complicated. Besides, what if I really loved someone and then they were reassigned and ripped away from me? I already lost my mother. I don’t think I could survive another separation.”