Grom let her keep the pistol, not that he could really deny her it after she had saved his life. After taking a few moments to collect his wits and analyze the situation, the captain called a ship wide meeting, inviting everyone into his chambers right then, in the middle of the night. He didn’t move Jent’s body. Instead, he forced each of the crewmembers to step over the bloody mess as they entered his room. Once all were accounted for, Grom told everyone to quiet down, that their questions would be answered in due time. In his methodical, authoritative manner Grom described what had taken place between him, Jent, and the human girl, point by point. When he got to the part about how Sarah had acted with cunning bravery to save his life, he couldn’t help but beam a little.

Most of the crew accepted the story outright. Only a few peppered the captain with questions at the end of his speech, all of which he answered honestly and without hesitation. It seemed everyone was satisfied with Grom’s explanation, and seeing as how they all hated Jent anyway, nobody would’ve cared if the captain had been lying and the Selachi ’s death had, in fact, been the result of some foul play.

Some of them spoke to Sarah as they filed out of the room, asking her how she had gotten the jump on Jent, or requesting that she come take a look at something of theirs that was broken. One crew member even ventured to ask if she wished to stay the night in his chambers, to which Grom answered for her by heatedly telling the alien it was time he headed back to bed. Reema didn’t say anything, but she did give Sarah a long, searching look, followed by a curt, humble nod—a gesture that spoke volumes. Only Nickle and Wex asked if she was okay.

Am I okay? Sarah was back in her chambers, it was almost morning. She had been far too wired to sleep. A part of her felt content, happy even, that the crew was starting to respect her. Not to mention the powerful sense of pride she felt from knowing she saved Grom’s life. It felt thick, warm, and sweet. It melted through her heart like honey spread on a biscuit fresh from the oven. And yet, she couldn’t enjoy the flakey, syrupy treat. Each bite tasted bland, and no matter how many she took, her mouth remained dry and her stomach unsatisfied. She wanted to go home. It didn’t matter that these people were beginning to like her; they weren’t her family. This wasn’t her life.

Finally, in the early hours of the next day, exhaustion conquered Sarah’s over active mind, and she sank into a dreamless void.

The next few weeks passed through Sarah like a ghost through walls. She registered some sensation, the vague sense of time passing, but the days held no form, and her presence seemed weightless and unreal. They had completed the job for Mr. R and had picked up a few smaller gigs afterwards, but the ship was in bad shape. Going through so many jump points in such a short period of time had really taken its toll on the old F6 and every day it seemed there was a new issue to report. The most concerning of which regarded the thrusters and stabilizers.

When heading into a jump point, the pilot to take the ship into full throttle, which meant heneeded to slam the thrusters into the highest gear and get that acceleration going at max speed. Although this put a major strain on the thrusters, it’s only supposed to last a few seconds, and then, once through the jump point, the pilot would immediately slow down and give the poor babies a break. But they had been behind schedule on their last two assignments and were therefore using the thrusters more and more in between jumps. The stabilizers were working overtime as well. They had one really nasty landing that took out the left side stabilizer which meant the other three were forced to overcompensate. If they didn’t replace the left one soon, it was only a matter of time before they blew another, which would make landing near impossible.

“So how much will it cost to get two new thrusters and replace the missing stabilizer?” Grom, Sarah, and Wex were in the kitchen, talking over dinner.

“Well, I’m not sure about the stabilizer,” Wex said. “It depends on if we can find a used one or not. The thrusters will be over a thousand pinches each.”

“A thousand?” Grom nearly choked on his beef.

Wex shrugged. “Yeah, and that’s if we get cheap ones. We really should shell out for nicer ones though, considering all the jobs we’ve got lined up.”

“Those will be closer to two thousand,” Sarah added.

“And a used stabilizer?” Grom looked at Sarah. “Do I even want to know what that is going to cost me?”

“Stabilizers that fit Slipsteams are rare.” She looked down at her plate of pasta that Nickle had stashed and which he reluctantly let Sarah dip into. “Even used ones will be expensive. We’d be hard pressed to find one for under three thousand pinches.”

“What? It’s more than a new thruster?” Grom’s eyes darted back and forth between Sarah and Wex. “But a stabilizer is so tiny and thrusters are huge!”

“You can fly without thrusters,” Wex explained. “Sure, it makes going through jumps hard, but it’s doable. And if you’re someone who only uses the ship to travel short distances, thrusters are completely unnecessary.”

“But every ship needs stabilizers,” Sarah added. “No matter how big or small, no matter where it’s going, what it’s carrying, every ship needs stabilizers. You can’t land without them, and you can’t fly if you can’t land.”

“So they’re expensive because they can be,” Grom concluded.

“Exactly.” Wex got up to clean his plate. “Sellers know how important stabilizers are, and they set the prices accordingly. The actual mechanics and material that go into making one are really quite cheap.”

“Then why don’t you just make us a new one?” The captain suggested.

“You can’t buy stabilizer parts individually.” Wex did a half ass job rinsing his plate then left it in the sink for someone else to deal with. “You have to be a certified mechanic that works for one of the companies that makes the stabilizers. It’s all very rigged and very stupid, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” Wex leaned against the sink.

“And how much would it be to buy a whole new ship?” Grom asked. “One big enough to hold the whole crew and maybe one that didn’t fall apart all the damn time!”

Wex’s face lit up with excitement. “A new ship?” He thought for a moment. “That really depends.”

“Could I get one for under ten thousand pinches?”

“Yes. Maybes” Said Wex.

“Definitely,” Sarah corrected. They both looked at her. “If you know how to haggle.”

“Well, I don’t.” Grom laughed. “But you do.”

“So,” Wex gave the captain a look of childlike anticipation, “we’re getting a new ship?’

Grom nodded. “We’re getting a new ship.”

“Oh, thank god.” Wex feigned the gesture of wiping sweat from his forehead. “Because I wasn’t going to say anything, but this ship does not have much more in her. Honestly, I was surprised we even made it through that last jump point in one piece.”

“Wex!” Grom looked angry, but there was amusement in his voice. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“No offense, Captain, but I’m always surprised we make it through the jump points in one piece. This ship is garbage.”

Grom laughed and looked to Sarah. “And what’s your excuse? Why didn’t you tell me how bad of shape we were really in?”

“Hey, don’t look at me. I’m just the apprentice.” Sarah flashed Grom a small, sarcastic smile. “How was I supposed to know?”

But she did know. She had known for a while. The truth was, she didn’t care. If the ship made it through the next jump point, great. And if it didn’t, that was fine too. She was so far away from her family, her friends, from anything and everything that made her feel alive, Sarah often thought it wouldn’t matter if she died. But a part of her did care about Grom, which is why she didn’t say any of this out loud.

“Well, on that note, I’m off to bed.” Wex grabbed himself a second can of beer from the fridge, said good night to Sarah and the captain, and left.

Sarah picked at her unnaturally orange dinner and sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Grom had tried to start many conversations with her since the night of Jent’s death, but Sarah always found a way to avoid them.

“Just sick of only having meals that come from a dusty box or a frozen bag.” Sarah put a single elbow noodle into her mouth and frowned.

“I’m sorry. I keep forgetting to pick up human food when we stop to refuel and restock. I’ve just gotten so used to getting all the alien basics. But we’re stopping tomorrow. You can come shopping with me.”

“Alright.” Sarah took one last bite, and, finding it just as disappointing as the previous ten, she promptly stood up and threw the rest of her pasta in the trash. She washed her plate in silence then finished washing Wex’s and put them both on the drying rack. “I’m going to bed,” she said softly and turned to leave.

“Wait.” Sarah could hear a bit of frustration in Grom’s voice underneath all the obvious desperation.

She turned back to face him. “What?”

“I was hoping you would stay a while.”

“I’m tired.”

“Oh. Okay. Well then I won’t keep you.”

Sarah headed towards the door and just before she turned into the hallway, she heard Grom call sadly, “See you tomorrow.”

“Yup. Tomorrow,” she called back. Then, feeling sorry for the captain, she added, “sleep tight,” and left.