Grom stopped himself from knocking three times. This is stupid. She’s not going to be happy to see me. He turned to go, then turned back. I’ll have to see her eventually. It’s better if I do it purposefully rather than awkwardly running into her in the hallway. His hand was shaking a little as he reached to knock. Fourth time’s the charm. The door opened quickly, as if Sarah had been waiting just on the other side.

“Oh.” She seemed surprised. “Hi.”

“Uh, hi.” Regret immediately poured down on him like a cold shower. “I thought maybe we should talk.”

“Yeah, I think that’s probably a good idea.” Sarah moved to let Grom inside. He breathed her scent in as he passed her, and it made him feel more intoxicated than any of the Hexa-Juice he had drunk earlier. Unsure of where to sit, Grom opted to lean against the far wall and let Sarah have the bunk.

“Watchu got there?” Sarah asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed furthest away from the captain.

“Oh, right!” Grom held the wine and candy out to show her. “I brought some wine and, well, it’s called a cocoa-bean bar, but I think it’s basically chocolate. That’s what humans call it, right? Chocolate?”

Sarah nodded as she took the food and drink from Grom. Their hands grazed, and the touch sent electricity through every inch of his body.

Sarah put the chocolate aside and opted for the wine. She inspected the cork and frowned. A corkscrew, dammit! Grom chastised himself. How could you forget a corkscrew?

“Here, let me run to the kitchen and—” but Sarah was already reaching into her pocket. She withdrew her trusty, dull knife and plunged the point deep into the cork. She twisted it back and forth aggressively, digging the steel as deep as she could. Once it was dug about a half inch in, Sarah put the bottle in between her legs and lifted upwards with both hands. It was slow going at first, then suddenly the pressure changed, and the cork was released with a pop.

“Huh.” Grom gave Sarah an impressed smile.

“I promise, I’m not an alcoholic,” Sarah joked. “I’m just a good problem solver. Although,” Sarah looked around the room, “there doesn’t seem to be an obvious solution to our lack of cups problem.”

“Dammit! Cups!” You’re zero for two. Let’s try not to strike out here. “I’ll go—”

“Don’t bother.” Sarah drank right from the bottle. “I think we’re well past avoiding each other’s germs.” She handed the bottle to Grom and put her knife away. “That’s good stuff. Where’d you get it?”

“I, uh.” Grom was suddenly very embarrassed, but he wasn’t sure what was worse: telling Sarah he had stolen it during one of his many raids, or lying to her.

“You stole it,” Sarah said, making his decision for him.

“Yes.” Grom looked at his feet. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” Sarah reached again for the bottle. “Apologize to whatever rich asshole you nabbed it from.”

“How do you know he’s an asshole?”

Sarah pointed to the price on the bottle’s label. “Only an asshole pays three hundred pinches for a bottle of wine. I mean, it’s good, but it’s not better than a brand new 10k projection screen.”

Grom’s eyebrows raised in confusion.

“They run about two ninety,” Sarah explained, “which still leaves you ten pinches left to grab a decent bottle of wine that I bet said asshole couldn’t differentiate from this one.” She took another swig, this one much larger than the first.

Grom laughed. “Yeah, you don’t have to convince me. I never understood lavishness.”

“Says the guy with incredibly lush, silk sheets.” Sarah’s cheeks immediately flushed after she said this. The subject had been broached, albeit indirectly, and there was no turning back.

Grom cleared his throat. “Those were the old captain’s sheets. Though I can’t say I don’t enjoy them.”

They said nothing for a while. Sarah took a few more sips of wine, then with excitement said, “Oh! Sorry! I’m totally hogging this.” She handed the wine to Grom.

“That’s alright.” Grom gave it back to her without having any. “I may have had a shot or two…or three of Hexa-Juice before dropping by.”

“Ah. Okay.” Again they were quiet.

They both went to talk at the same time, both of them starting their sentence with “I’m sorry.” They stopped in unison, then laughed.

“Let me go first,” Grom said. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. And for dragging you into my bedroom. That must have been terrifying—”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I wasn’t terrified.” Grom gave Sarah a look. “Okay, okay, I was pretty scared.”

“Anyway, I’m really sorry.” Grom’s embarrassment melted into shame as he recalled how he had manhandled the poor girl. “It’s just that here, on this ship, on the outskirts of society, it’s kill or be killed. This crew is full of cruel, backstabbing devils who will pounce at the first sign of weakness. I couldn’t let them see me be defied like that. Especially by a…a…”

“A slave?”

Grom could only repeat himself. “I’m sorry.”

“So you’re saying you took no pleasure in it?” Sarah asked.

“What?” The question pierced Grom like a sword. Not because the assertion was outlandish, but because he couldn’t truthfully deny it.

“I understand that it was your duty, that you had to ‘put me in my place’ to demonstrate strength to your monstrous crew, but I saw the look in your eyes.” Sarah’s voice demonstrated anger, but the tears in her eyes were undoubtedly from fear. “Enjoyment…is that part of your duty, too?”

“I…I don’t know what to say.” Grom held his hand out for the wine. Sarah gave it to him without hesitation, and he took a long sip. “Except that…well, I know it’s a stupid and convenient excuse, but that wasn’t me. That was the dragon. I was angry, yes, and I wanted to teach you a lesson. But dragging you against your will, throwing you to the ground…that was all him.”

“And what about the sex?”

Grom paused. He took a second to finish off the last fourth or so of the bottle then spoke. “That was him, at first. He kissed you. But once you kissed back, you were kissing me.”

Sarah’s cheeks grew even redder and Grom could feel his own face getting hot. The memory of that first kiss reawoke his desire.

“So everything we did after that first kiss, that was all Grom?” Sarah eyed him with suspicion and a bit of flirtation.

“Yes.”

“Then I say kudos to you.” Sarah smiled coyly.

Grom ignored her comment out of sheer humiliation. “So you forgive me?”

Sarah laughed. “Uh, no.”

“No?”

“Grom, you violently dragged me into your room, threw me to the ground, and then forcibly kissed me. And what would you have done if I hadn’t kissed you back huh? What would the dragon have done if I hadn’t consented?”

Grom had not considered that. He’d like to think he wouldn’t have taken her by force, but he couldn’t say for sure. Instead of entertaining the idea, he tried turning the tables on her. “But you did kiss me back. You did consent.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t know I was going to when you kissed me. I’ve gone over it in my head and I gave you no indication that’s what I wanted. You just did whatever you wanted. And that scares me.”

“I…I understand.” Grom sighed. “You don’t trust me.”

“Not a single bit.”

“And you don’t forgive me.”

“I don’t forgive the dragon. And until you can demonstrate to me that there is a clear division between you and it, that you can control the dragon when it comes to me, I cannot forgive you either.”

“That’s fair.”

In the awkward silence that followed, Sarah reached for the cocoa-bean bar and went about trying to read the label. The confused expression on her face told Grom that she, too, could not decipher a single word, but she opened the thing anyway. Although she only took the smallest, most tentative bite, apparently that was enough for her to experience the bar’s full, intense flavor. She immediately spat the ‘chocolate’ out of her mouth and onto the ground right near Grom’s feet.

“That’s horrible!” Sarah’s face contorted with disgust. “And it’s definitely not chocolate.”

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t know. I can’t read the label.” Grom reached for the bar. He smelled it first, then took a bite himself. He was prepared to spit his bite out as well, but found that it actually tasted quite good. It was not unlike this one type of candy they had on his home planet. He savored the first bite then greedily took another.

“You like it?” Sarah gawked at the captain.

“Yes, very much. I can’t believe you don’t.”

The young woman watched in horror as Grom finished off half the bar. Deciding he wanted to save some for later, however, he wrapped up what remained and tucked it gently into his pocket.

“Anyway, I should be on my way.” Grom licked some leftovers from his fingers and went to leave.

“Hang on.” Sarah stopped him. “What’s next?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what are we doing? What am I doing?”

“Hm.” Grom thought this over. “Well, I don’t need you for any negotiations, and we’re not planning on needing any repairs in the near future. You could work with Wex?”

“You mean help him on the ship?”

“Sure, you’d be like an…an apprentice.”

“Oh great.” Sarah folded her arms. “Everywhere I go, I’m still only an apprentice.”

“We can call it something else if you want. You can be Wex’s….pupil.”

“Apprentice is fine,” Sarah grumbled.

“Great. I’ll let the crew know about your new position. Make sure no one messes with you.”

Sarah smirked. “Yeah, like that’ll make a difference.”

“What do you mean?” Grom’s mouth turned downward. “Has the crew been bothering you?”

“No, it’s fine. Forget I said anything.”

“Tell me. If someone is hurting you or threatening you in any way…”

“No one is doing anything. Seriously. I’m fine.”

Grom remained unconvinced, but he could tell Sarah wasn’t in a sharing mood. “Alright. But you’ll let me know if anyone tries anything?”

“Sure.” Sarah’s tone of voice evoked little confidence in Grom. “Now can you let me get some sleep? That wine is starting to hit me.”

“Of course.” Grom hesitated before leaving. A part of him wanted to reach for her, pull her into his arms and never let go. But now wasn’t the time, and Grom had to accept the fact that the time may never come. She may never forgive him. She may never stop being afraid of him. Instead, Grom awkwardly reached his hand out for a shake. He knew it was odd, but he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving without getting to touch her one last time. She took his big, rough hand into her soft, delicate one and gave him a firm squeeze. He held on for a second longer than would be deemed socially acceptable, then let go.

“Good night, Sarah,” he said as he opened the door. It was the first he had ever called her by her name, and for some reason, the gesture felt very intimate.

“Good night, Grom.” She closed the door softly behind him.