Chapter 22

Grant was by far the best body pillow she’d ever had. She snuggled tighter into the crook of his arm, pillowing her head more comfortably into the dip of his shoulder as she wound a leg around his and draped one arm across his chest. Perfection.

“Ye wouldna have this in Chicago.” Grant traced his fingertips back and forth across her back, occasionally dipping down to lightly squeeze the cheek of her ass, then affectionately swat it. “Five nights alone in a cold bed versus seven nights sleepin’ in m’arms. Why would ye wish for such?”

How could she make him understand why she needed to do this? She could already tell he thought he’d won and changed her mind after a night of the best lovemaking they’d ever had. The bedroom door was still locked. He’d sworn he wouldn’t open it until she promised not to leave and she still hadn’t said those words. And she wouldn’t. She was still going. Grant just didn’t know it—yet. I’ve got to convince him to give this a chance. I can’t pass up this opportunity to straighten out my life so we can enjoy our future.

“I love ye, Joanna.” His voice had grown softer, his tone laced with emotion. “I love ye so much it scares the everlovin’ hell out of me and I’m not one to be afraid of anythin’.” He shifted, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he tightened his arms and held her closer. “I want ye t’be happy, but I canna bear the thought of ye leavin’ me—not even for a day.”

“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” she said. How could she make him understand that just because she was going to Chicago, it didn’t mean she was giving up on a life with him? “I’ve never felt so…content…so safe.” She pushed up on one elbow and looked down into his eyes. “You’ve given me a peace I never knew existed. I can’t describe how happy you’ve made me.” He’d given her hope for the kind of life she never thought she’d have. That’s why she was brave enough to take this job that would help her straighten out her past messes that were her responsibility—not his.

Grant smiled, slid his fingers up her neck into her hair, and pulled her down for a gentle kiss. “I love ye, dear one. And our life will only get better. I swear it.”

Joanna pecked another quick kiss to the tip of Grant’s nose, then slid down to rest her head on the center of his chest. There was something innately comforting about the sound of Grant’s steady heartbeat thumping in her ear. Damn, I love him.

But as much as she loved him, as much as she wanted a life with him, she still needed to grab hold of the opportunity that fate had seen fit to drop in her lap. She hadn’t had many get-out-of-jail-free cards gifted to her in this life. She wasn’t about to waste this one.

But what about Grant? He’ll be hurt so badly. Not for long, she argued with herself. She’d been battling with that damn voice ever since Lilian Tasker made the offer. Guilt had attached itself to her like some blood-sucking demon that wouldn’t let go. How can I do this to him?

Trying to sort through the dilemma, she mindlessly traced a fingertip around Grant’s nipple. Round and round the tightening button, she worked through her thoughts, mesmerized by the contracting movement of the dark, rosy nubbin.

“If ye keep doing that…” Grant didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t have to, because she felt the proof of his warning growing long and hard against her stomach.

She pushed up from his chest, slid down, and straddled his legs. Taking his hot, velvety hardness in one hand, she slowly massaged up and down. “You are insatiable,” she said as she bent and raced the tip of her tongue around the rim of his cock’s head.

“Only with you, m’love. Only with you.”

Joanna bent and licked the length of his shaft, then sucked him into her mouth as deep as she could. Grant’s entire body flinched and tightened beneath her. She sucked harder and faster while pumping the length of him she couldn’t fit in her mouth.

Grant arched his back and groaned. His scrotum tightened in the palm of her hand. He was about to lose control. “Ride me, I beg ye,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “Gi’ me yer heat!”

He didn’t have to ask twice because she needed him just as badly. Joanna climbed up his thighs, hovered over his cock for a hot second, then rammed herself downward. She almost came immediately but clenched against it. No. Not yet.

“Ride, lass, ride!”

Joanna rocked slowly at first, then gained speed, gyrating hard and fast until Grant roared out a stream of Gaelic and arched upward, lifting them both off the bed. As he shuddered and pumped inside her, Joanna spun into her own orgasm, screaming out with the exploding bliss that wouldn’t be contained.

Grant fell back to the bed, locking his arms around her and clutching her to his chest. “God a’mighty, love. God a’mighty.” Chest heaving, his heart pounded against her cheek.

“I agree,” Joanna panted. I see us spending all our weekends in bed.

Grant’s breathing gradually slowed and his heartbeat leveled out to a regular rhythm. As he calmed beneath her, a possible solution to their disagreement popped into her head. Maybe she could convince Grant to let her take the job in Chicago—temporarily. Six months. Just enough time to get him to give it a chance. Maybe the six-month offer would make him feel less threatened and help him believe that she wasn’t looking for a way to get away from him. Then after the six months was up, he’d realize just how easily they could make it work on a larger scale.

She raised her head and propped her chin on her folded arms resting on the center of his chest. “Would you be willing to make a deal?” Help me play this right, she silently prayed.

“A deal?” Grant’s eyes narrowed. “Ye ask me that after what we just did? So, ye mean t’take advantage of me in my weakened state? Shame on ye, lass.”

“Yes—and no more ‘advantage’ than you took of me.” Joanna shifted a bit and fixed him with the sternest scowl she could manage under the circumstances. “You owe me a deal and you know it.”

“And why would ye think I owe ye a deal?”

“No condoms? At all. Last night or today?” Joanna gave him a look that he’d have no trouble deciphering. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

A sheepish look settled across Grant’s face. “Ye said ye wanted children, and since we’re good as married…”

“I said ‘someday.’ ” Joanna raised herself up and slid off Grant to kneel beside him on the bed. “Someday doesn’t mean ‘now,’ and I know the only reason you did it was to try to get me pregnant so I wouldn’t take that job.”

“Well…” Grant grinned and gave her a wink. “That wasna the only reason.” He scooped up her hand and pecked a quick kiss to the backs of her fingers. “Ye canna tell me ye didna enjoy making love the way a man and a woman were meant to.”

He made a valid point, but that wasn’t the issue here. Time to stick to her guns. “Okay, fine. But you still owe me a deal for trying to trick me.”

Grant’s grin faded. “Fine. What is this deal ye wish to propose?”

“Just give it six months. That’s all I ask.”

“Six months for what?” He already knew “for what.” She could tell by the look on his face and the hurt shining in his eyes.

“Let me give the job in Chicago a chance for six months so we can see if we can make the situation work.” Joanna held her breath. At least he wasn’t raging—yet.

Grant rolled away from her and pushed himself up off the bed. Standing in the middle of the bedroom, he clasped his hands together on top of his head and leaned back to stare at the ceiling as though seeking divine guidance. Finally, his hands dropped and he turned to face her. “Why can ye no’ let this go, Joanna?” he asked quietly. “Why are ye so determined to do this?”

“It means a lot to me.”

“Apparently, it means a great deal more to ye than I do.”

“That’s not fair.” Joanna slid to the edge of the bed and stood, wrapping the sheet around her body in the process. Suddenly, being naked didn’t feel quite right. “You know you mean everything to me. I never dreamed I could be this happy…this content.”

“That’s no’ what ye just said,” Grant said sadly. He walked over to the corner of the room, scooped his kilt up off the floor, and belted it around his waist. Refusing to look at her, he shook his head. “Do whate’er ye will, Joanna. ’Tis obvious yer determined t’do what ye wish whether I agree to it or not, and nothing I say or do will e’er change yer mind.”

“I just need you to give this a chance.” The defeat in his voice broke her heart, but she couldn’t give in now. “Six months. Just six months. Will you agree to that? For me?”

Grant padded barefoot to the door, retrieved the key from the top of the frame, unlocked the door, and opened it. “I already said, ‘Do what ye will.’ I’ll no’ try t’stop ye anymore. But know this…I’ll ne’er find it in m’heart t’forgive ye for leavin’ me. I’m not the forgivin’ sort.” Without a look back, he left the room and softly closed the door behind him.

She’d won. Sort of. Joanna slowly sat down on the bed while staring at the closed bedroom door. Still clutching the bedsheet to her chest, she unconsciously rubbed her fisted hand against the dull ache in the center of her chest. She swallowed hard at the knot in the middle of her throat.

This sure doesn’t feel much like winning.