MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T have said it like that. Kayleb watched thoughts flitter through the eyes of the woman in front of him. His mate. His denya. Had she known that she was his? Had he tried to keep her?

“You were on the Kella,” he said, trying to piece things together. It made sense, but he didn’t actually remember. The desire for recognition beat at his brain until an entire side of his head pulsed with the need to know. He reached a hand up to somehow staunch the pain at his temple and winced when his fingers met broken skin and came away wet with blood.

The woman sucked in a sympathetic breath, wincing along with him. At least, he hoped it was sympathetic. He was relieved to see that there weren’t any more long planks of wood within reach.

“We must have...” He didn’t mean to say it out loud and when Kayleb realized what he was doing, he cut himself off. He’d already blundered enough today. “You’re in trouble,” he said instead.

“We must have what?” the woman with the curly red hair demanded.

He couldn’t say it. He shouldn’t say it. But she was asking and he felt the bond. He couldn’t deny his denya, even if he didn’t remember her. “We must have had sex.” He winced again, half from the pain in his head and half from saying something so important like it didn’t matter.

Her bitter laugh stabbed him in the heart. “I guess I shouldn’t have believed ‘oh, Tessa, you’re the one I’ve been waiting my whole life for.’ What a load of crap.” She shook her head, her lips firming into a tight line even as her cheeks flamed. It was hard to make out with her brown skin, but she blushed the color of cherries, sweet and tart and delectable.

Tessa. His denya.

He could do this, he could explain what had happened and maybe she’d open up, tell him why those men were after her, and let him help. Give him a second chance. He barely dared to hope.

“I was injured a few months ago, since then I’ve had issues with my memories. But what’s between—”

She cut him off. “There’s nothing between us.” Tessa gritted her teeth and took a breath, steadying herself. “Thank you for your help today,” she continued in a much more even tone, “but I would like you to leave now.”

“You don’t understand...” He stepped forward, his soul demanding that he find a way to make her listen.

“I was there when it happened, Kayleb!” she yelled. “I saw the shot that hit you! I was by your side for every day after and when you woke up you looked at me like I was nothing. And even though I knew I couldn’t hold it against you—” a sob tore out of her. “Even when I asked you to write, to let me know you were okay, you forgot. Weeks into your recovery. So, no, I’m not doing this. The door’s right there.” She pointed behind him as if there was any other option.

Kayleb dragged his gaze to the door and his vision spun. He stumbled, slamming a hand against the wall to right himself. Maybe that blow to the head had been worse than he thought, or maybe the last two days were starting to catch up with him.

A warm shoulder inserted itself under his arm as Tessa crossed the room. She said nothing as she eased him down to the floor and unselfconsciously straddled his lap, trying to get a look at his wound. The light in the room was poor, the only illumination streaming in from the small, dirty window. But at midday, it was enough to see clearly. He tilted his head to the side to give her a better look. Kayleb almost groaned when her fingers brushed against the skin on his forehead and he looked away, certain his gaze had deepened to red. There was no pain now, nothing but the forgotten pleasure of his mate’s touch.

How had he forgotten? Why couldn’t he remember?

“This doesn’t look too bad,” Tessa said, all professional. He could feel the anger simmering under her skin, but her instincts to heal had kicked in and Kayleb would steal these moments and hold them close until he could convince her to give him another chance. “Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous? Tired?”

“Only for the moment there, I’m fine now.” He wanted her to keep tending to him, but he wouldn’t force her attentions with lies. He couldn’t do it. “You barely scratched me.”

“Head wounds can be aggravated—never mind.” She leaned backward, arching her chest so close that Kayleb had to push down another kind of groan. He curled his hands into tight fists and pressed them hard into the cracked tile of the floor to keep from doing something suicidal like touching her. Tessa tugged something closer and sat back up. She stuck her hand in her bag and pulled out a small first aid kit. “I don’t have regen gel, but there is a healing cream in here. It should do the trick.”

Kayleb nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth to say anything she’d push away. The bleeding had already stopped on the wound and he could bandage it when he got home, but he didn’t tell her that. This much contact he could steal, until she gave him more. Until she was ready to give him another chance.

Tessa wiped at the wound with a moist cloth and then applied an astringent cream to his temple. Kayleb didn’t try to hide his wince or stop his sharp intake of breath. Regen gel didn’t sting like this, but that was probably one of the reasons it was so expensive. Despite his pain, Tessa kept going. She applied a bandage and smoothed her hand of the adhesive. Kayleb watched her work, no longer caring if his eyes glowed red. He wanted so desperately to reach up and touch her hand that he clenched his fists until his fingers threatened to draw blood. Her thumb brushed against his cheek and he turned his face into it, brushing his lips against her palm. He didn’t kiss her and for one eternity of a second she sat there with him, his face cradled in her hand.

Their eyes locked and Kayleb willed himself to remember as emotion, need, and want, all in one tangled mess of desire, poured through him. He could feel these things for her, know she was his, and yet he knew nothing more than her first name. Knew nothing more than that he’d loved her once and that he’d do anything now to win her back and remember why.

Something must have shown in his face. Tessa’s eyes shuddered and she pulled her hand away, standing up and shoving her bag under a ragged blanket on the small cot in the room.

“You should go. And see a doctor sometime soon, in case of concussion.” She wasn’t looking at him, instead staring at the door right over his shoulder. Her cheeks carried that cherry red color of her blush and her eyes sparkled with flecks of gold, reflected from the sun outside.

Kayleb didn’t move. “Who were those men chasing you? Are you in trouble?” That much was clear. They were sitting in an abandoned building in one of the worst neighborhoods in the city. If he’d met Tessa on the Kella, she’d fallen far in the last few months, and he needed to know why, needed to know how he could help.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about.” Tessa’s expression had closed off completely, lips pressed together in a tight line, and shoulders drawn back. “I have everything under control.”

The setting suggested otherwise, but Kayleb kept that thought to himself. Now that the buzz of seeing her for the first time—well, not technically—was starting to wear off, Kayleb spotted the dark circles under her eyes and the sallow undertone her skin took when her blush faded. Tessa looked exhausted, like she’d neither had sufficient sleep nor food in weeks. But Kayleb didn’t point that out. He’d been around humans long enough to know that they didn’t like to be contradicted, even when they were clearly wrong. “I have friends here, we can help you.”

She let out some sound that might have been related to a laugh, but there was no humor in it. “I don’t need your friends. Just pretend you didn’t see me and this will all be over soon. Now go, and make sure you’re not seen.”

He could refuse. They both knew that she couldn’t physically force him to leave, not with his height and his strength. But battles weren’t won by brawn alone. Kayleb reached into his pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. He had to scrounge around for a pen, but he found one and scribbled down his contact information. Instead of handing it to her, he set it on the floor and slid it over. “If you need anything, anything, I’ll help. Even if you never want to see me again.”

He stood and left without looking to see if she reached for the paper.

***

TESSA WAITED FOR THREE minutes after the door shut behind Kayleb, staring at that tiny strip of paper he’d left on the floor. She was frozen in indecision, one part of her demanding that she swoop down and hide his address away for safe keeping while the part that remembered the pain and heartbreak of their parting screamed at her to leave it be. They were done, it was over, nothing could change her mind.

But he’d been standing right there.

God, Tessa could still taste the scent of him on the air, even over the stale stinky miasma of the building. She should have never touched him, she’d be remembering the warm give of his skin under her fingers for days. Weeks, maybe.

She couldn’t stay here, though. Not when Kayleb knew the location, not when there was a risk the pirates had staked it out and would see him leaving, giving her away. Tessa could pretend that it was only a matter of safety that made that decision, but her hands shook as she zipped up her bag and without giving too much more thought to it, she stuffed Kayleb’s note in a zippered pocket.

After all, if the pirates searched the building, she didn’t want to lead them straight to him. She was pissed, that didn’t mean that she wanted him dead.

Tessa staggered and put a hand on the wall beside the door to steady herself. Kayleb dead? No, that wasn’t allowed. Her heart had been torn out of her chest when he didn’t recognize her anymore, but she couldn’t bear the thought that he wasn’t somewhere living his life.

She groaned and banged her head against the hand plastered to the wall. She hadn’t gone to space to fall in love, so why was that giant mistake still anchored around her heart, unable to let her go?

He’d be out of the building by now, she was certain. It was time to go. Tessa slung her bag back over her shoulders and made sure there was no sign that she’d hidden in the room. The wipes she’d used on Kayleb were secured in her first aid kit for later disposal. Other than a bit of disturbed dust, the room bore no hint of their presence.

Tessa took off, closing the door behind her.

She buried thoughts of Kayleb as she walked back down the stairs, on the lookout for the pirates who’d been on her ass. When the tug she’d been feeling in her chest since she came to the city urged her down one street, she chose another. She knew who lay at the other end of that bond, and if she wanted to meet him again, all she had to do was call.

But she wouldn’t. Not now. Not ever. She’d get out of this mess herself and then get off the planet.

She did her best to ignore that pulse inside her. She’d learned a few tricks and after some minutes of concentrated breathing, the awareness subsided into something like white noise. She’d have to concentrate hard to know where Kayleb was.

That was for the best. Certainly.

She didn’t let herself dwell on the red glow of his eyes as she’d dragged her fingers across his temple. She didn’t think about his strong thighs under her own. And she definitely didn’t remember what his skin felt like under her lips, the taste of him as fresh after six months as it had been the day he first kissed her. At least she hadn’t kissed him today. She had that much control.

That scrap of paper was the heaviest thing in her bag and she wanted desperately to grab it out of its pocket and cradle it in her hand. The straps of her bag dug into her shoulder with the psychic weight of possibility, but Tessa made sure that her feet kept moving. She had another place she could use to catch a few winks of sleep.

Tomorrow she could deal with thoughts of Kayleb. No, tomorrow she’d deal with the tech she’d stolen and then get out of New York before she risked seeing him again, before she went completely insane and used the information that he’d given her to contact him.

Given enough time she’d break. Already her resolve was weakening, her memories taking on a softer tone as if his presence made up for the utter shit her life had turned into.

That wasn’t his fault.

Tessa ground her teeth. But her traitorous mind was right. Kayleb wasn’t responsible for the fact that pirates had kidnapped her. Maybe she wouldn’t have been there if he’d invited her to go away with him, to come to Earth. But she could have just as easily asked him to stay, and then they’d both be on the run like this.

Or worse.

Oh, no. She swallowed as her brain supplied those nightmare-inducing images of Kayleb lying on the ground of that catwalk on the ship, his head bleeding and breath wheezing in an unhealthy rhythm. She’d thought that she’d lost him that night, and in a way, she had. He still walked and talked, but there was no recollection in his eyes when he looked at her.

Even today, when he’d stared at her like the stars revolved around her head, he hadn’t seen her. He didn’t remember, he’d said as much. And if he didn’t remember her after all these months she doubted he ever would.

Tessa almost wished she was brave. If she was brave it wouldn’t matter, she could put her heart on the line again and try and build something new from the ashes. She could get close to him to see if he’d really meant what he said back them, all that crap about fate and lifesaving sex.

She could ask for help and not be so damned alone anymore.

Tessa took another turn and noted the street. At least her sense of direction hadn’t betrayed her, even as her mind reeled at thoughts of giving in to her heart and chasing Kayleb down. But she wasn’t going to do that. She couldn’t. Because it had hurt too much, letting him go the first time. She couldn’t do it again.