TESSA DECIDED THAT ten AM would be the best time to call. Tamara was a creature of habit, or she had been for the entire time that Tessa had known her before she sought her fortunes off Earth. And Tamara’s habits meant that she wasn’t in her right mind before mid-morning. The woman ran on coffee and wasn’t quite human until the third cup.

Kayleb didn’t question the decision. He’d come in sometime while she slept and curled up on the yoga mat silently, as if he didn’t wish to disturb her. Despite his efforts, she’d felt the moment he entered the room. He sucked the air out and replaced it with his own essence so that she was breathing in his scent, her body loosening as it remembered everything they’d done together.

Which hadn’t actually been that much. Sure, they’d had sex a few times and made out even more, but she’d done way more with guys she felt way less about, and it had never destroyed her to let them go.

For the millionth time, she wondered how much of a mistake it was to accept his help. The turmoil in her heart told her that she should have run and never looked back, but the prospect of actually getting away from the fucking pirates who’d been hounding her gave her a slightly different perspective.

No matter what, she had to remain on her guard. Just because she’d let Kayleb help didn’t mean that he was allowed back in her life like he’d never left. He’d have to do a lot more if he wanted her to take him back and accept him as her mate.

Damn it.

Tessa’s head fell into her hands and she cast a subtle glance at the huge blue alien lying on the floor not far from her feet. Her mind might have been putting up a fight to his presence, but her subconscious had other ideas if she was already thinking that there was anything he could do to get back into her good graces.

There wasn’t, she wouldn’t allow it. They’d get rid of the stupid tech and go their separate ways, just as she’d planned a few hours ago. One comfortable nap in a warm, safe room didn’t change anything between them, it didn’t make their problems go away.

“Is everything alright?” Kayleb asked, dangerously perceptive. He lay on the yoga area, one hand acting as a pillow and pulling up his shirt so she caught a strip of tight blue flesh where his shirt normally met his pants. He was all hard muscle and heat, she remembered, and her hands ached to touch.

Tessa pulled her knees in close and wrapped her arms around them, as if hugging herself would ever be a tenth as satisfying as touching the man in front of her. As she looked at him, she realized she wasn’t even that angry anymore, which set off a spark of reflexive anger that he’d dared to finagle his way so close.

“It’s fine,” she said, her voice dangerously controlled so she wouldn’t let out any of the confusing shit she was feeling. “I’m just trying to decide what I’ll do once I’m free.”

He nodded and looked at her for an intense moment before tilting his head away. She could tell he wanted to say something from the way he held his body taut, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn’t offer her promises or tomorrows, not even a simple tonight.

Smart man.

Idiot woman.

She clamped her hand down on the opposite wrist to keep from reaching out. He was doing this on purpose, had to be. There had to be some weird alien pheromones that made her want him even when she knew exactly how bad it would be if he walked away again.

When. She needed to get it in her head that she couldn’t trust this guy. That had been easy a day ago. Now? Not so much.

“Do you remember anything?” she found herself asking by accident. The words were out of her mouth before she realized she was thinking them.

His eyes snapped back up to her, widening slightly. They didn’t flare to red and the pang in her chest felt something like disappointment. But that was stupid. The red flare only came in times of heightened emotion or passion, not because of unwise questions from ex-girlfriends. Mates. Whatever.

“I’m trying to,” Kayleb said, staring at her like his eyes could tell her something his mouth couldn’t. “I think I didn’t tell Krayter about you to protect his feelings. That’s why he didn’t know. Why none of us understood...” He trailed off and shook his head before rubbing a hand against his face. “Never mind.”

“Didn’t understand what?” Now that her curiosity was piqued she wasn’t going to stop asking.

Kayleb leveled his gaze at her, scarily serious. She could tell thoughts were flying through his mind as he calculated whether or not she’d push him away again. Before she could give him any reassurance, he spoke. “Detyens die when they turn thirty, if they don’t have a denya, a mate. My birthday was three days ago.”

“Your thirtieth birthday?” Ages hadn’t come up while they were on the Kella; they were both adults, the exact numbers weren’t an issue. Besides, that shit got complicated when working with the numbering systems of different planets.

Kayleb nodded.

“You thought you were going to die.” It wasn’t a question. If he didn’t remember her and his brother didn’t know that she existed, then he’d gone into the eve of his birthday not expecting to wake up. “Are...” She had to lick her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. “Are you dealing with it?”

“Some Detyens choose to end themselves before the choice is taken away,” he said. All of the emotion had leeched out of him and Tessa found herself leaning closer, her feet falling off the couch until her toes could practically touch him. Kayleb didn’t seem to notice. “It’s one final gasp for control, I take it. Krayter and I never talked about it. He just found his denya and they were convinced...” He stopped again and breathed deep. “I’m glad that I decided to see the night through.” All of a sudden their eyes connected and he smiled. It was like the sun breaking through the clouds and Tessa’s heart flipped.

“I am too.” She couldn’t stop herself from returning his smile and after a minute she stopped trying. They sat locked like that for several moments until Kayleb’s hand reached out and accidentally bumped her toes, snapping her out of it. Tessa busied herself by checking the clock. “I should call Tamara,” she said. It was only a few minutes to ten.

Kayleb leaned back against the wall and watched her gather her things. Tessa looked at the bag with the pirate tech in it. She couldn’t make the call from the privacy suite, but if she took the bag with her, the aliens could track it.

“Will you watch it?” she asked, heart hammering. He had no reason to take it, no reason to harm it. But Tessa had decided from the moment she stepped off her transport that she wouldn’t trust anyone but herself with the tech until she got it to the proper authorities. Not even for a minute.

Kayleb seemed to get that this was a big deal for her. He nodded solemnly. “It won’t leave my sight. There’s a communication station just east of the elevators one floor down from here. You should be able to make the call uninterrupted from there.”

She thanked him and fled, grateful for the excuse for a few minutes alone.

***

THE COMMUNICATION STATION was just where Kayleb promised, but as soon as Tessa saw it she kept walking down the hall. Unlike the relaxation suite floor, this one was covered in a rubberized tile that was hard under her feet. The scent of sweat in the air warred with weapons-grade disinfectant and cleaning supplies, but no matter how much bleach they used, the cleaning people couldn’t disguise the fact that she was in a gym. A fancy gym, but a gym nonetheless.

At the end of the hall, Tessa saw a first suite of workout equipment. A single woman worked at an anti-grav station, using momentum and muscle to spin around and dance in the air. When she turned at the end of the hall and found the door to the stairwell, Tessa rested her hand on it, thoughts racing. She had to get away from Kayleb. He wasn’t holding her hostage, but the more time she spent with him, the more she didn’t want to leave. He wouldn’t expect her to take off, not when he had her bag.

And she couldn’t. Even if she wanted to. Which, she feared to admit, she didn’t. Not yet. Not until this was done.

Tessa gathered her courage up and went back to the communications station. A comm device was embedded in the wall, both video and audio calls enabled on the touch screen. She had to pull up a directory to find the number for her sister’s office, but as soon as she gave her name to the receptionist, she was patched through without question. Tessa kept the call audio only. Even with the sleep she’d caught, she had to look like hell.

“Tessa?” Tamara asked, out of breath like she’d run to receive the call. “You’re on the planet?”

“How did you know?” She hadn’t sent word; the last call she’d placed to her sister had been from a space station light years away.

“You’re calling from a terrestrial number, one in the city.” Of course she’d realize that. But Tamara didn’t press, didn’t question why Tessa hadn’t called her sooner. “What’s up? Do you have time to meet before you leave?”

Guilt assailed Tessa at the hope in her older sister’s voice. The last time they’d seen each other, it hadn’t ended well and since then she’d barely ever called. But Tam was still the only member of her family that Tessa called at all. “I would like to meet up,” she said, and was surprised to find that she meant it. “But first, I need your help. I’m in trouble.”

It took a few minutes to give her a rundown of what had happened and Tam interrupted several times with strings of curses that sent Tessa’s eyebrows skyrocketing. When Tessa had been a kid, Tam was careful not to curse. It looked like those days were over.

“This tech you have is relaying a signal?” Tam asked to confirm.

“I think so. The assholes kept finding me. I wouldn’t have got out at all if it weren’t for a...” How to describe Kayleb? “A friend,” she went with, after a tellingly long pause.

“Care to elaborate?” Tam didn’t become one of the foremost prosecutors in the city without a strong eye for detail.

“I do not.” Tessa barreled through before Tam could latch on. “Anyway, we’re holed up in a place with built in signal blockers. I’m using a comm on another floor. Do you have a way to transport this thing without relaying the location? I have a jammer, but it’s still not fully charged.”

“Please don’t confess to possession of illegal devices over the phone with me,” Tam begged and Tessa felt her cheeks heat. “I’ll need to conference with NYPD. Are you safe where you are?”

“Yes.” As safe as she’d been in the last few days, at least.

“Okay. Good. Hold your position. Give me a call back in two hours and I should have something set up.” Tam sounded like she wanted to say more, but after getting Tessa’s agreement to call back, she disengaged.

Tessa checked the clock on the panel and saw that they’d been talking for nearly fifteen minutes. When she was little, she and Tam could talk about nothing in particular for hours on end. At some point that became too hard and they stopped talking at all. And then Tam had left home and Tessa was left alone. At least her sister still remembered who she was. Maybe that wasn’t fair to either Kayleb or Tam. Tessa pushed the thought aside and shook her head. Talking with her sister was enough to bring bad memories to the surface and prick her emotions with a thousand tiny needles. It felt like a limb falling asleep, but the pain and discomfort was all in her mind. Tessa flexed her fingers as if improving circulation would make it go away.

It didn’t.

She didn’t run into anybody on her way back to the room but she had to take a deep breath before opening the door. Kayleb was in there, waiting for her, and again she wanted to run. She pushed through the emotion and opened the door, closing it silently behind her. Kayleb didn’t look up as she entered and his eyes were closed, lids drawn down over those intense dark eyes of his.

Tessa found herself frozen beside the door, one hand pressed against the hard surface. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from the man, the alien, sitting calmly on the floor. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm as if he were sleeping, but he sat straight up, hands resting lightly on his knees while meditating.

This was the side of Kayleb that he hid away from everyone. To others, he was angry and quick to lash out. But he kept his violence caged, cutting with words rather than the deadly claws hiding under his knuckles. Anyone who met that caustic man could not imagine the one sitting before her right now, his breathing even and face serene.

She sank down to the floor next to him, sitting cross-legged, her head turned to the side to study him. A ragged scar cut down his temple, the skin a nasty white reminder of the damage done to him by the pirates aboard the Kella.

Her heartbeat kicked up as she remembered that terrible day. When he was struck by blaster fire Tessa had feared that he’d been ripped from her, leaving her heart a tattered wreck. He survived, but she’d been right.

For the last six months she’d survived on anger to suppress her grief and fear. But at some point over the course of the morning, that anger had disappeared. Her fingers ached to reach out and caress the naked length of Kayleb’s arm. She needed to feel his warm skin, needed to know that he was alive with her.

How had he survived the last months, knowing he was doomed? How did any of them do it? Tessa knew she would die one day, that was how it worked. But to know the exact date? To know there was something that could stop it, or at least delay it for a long time? What would she do to find that? How thankful would she be?

And if she had escaped death when it seemed impossible, could she jump back into the fire and risk her life for someone who kept pushing her away?

God, she didn’t want to push away. But the ache from his absence was still there and she could still remember the black chasm of grief and hopelessness she’d been falling into since he left.

She couldn’t do it again. And when this was over, she had to walk away. For her own survival.

Kayleb opened his eyes.

She was trapped in his gaze, embarrassed to be caught staring and sitting so close. But she didn’t move away; if she did that would be admitting something. She wasn’t quite sure what.

“How did it go?” he asked, as if they were not close enough to touch.

If he was going to be normal so could she. Heh, normal. Yeah right. Things had stopped being normal the moment they met. “Fine. Tam is calling the cops. I need to call back later, but we might be out of this mess soon.”

“That’s good.” Kayleb was staring at her, and she could feel the heat of his gaze boring into her cheek. Tessa stared straight forward, afraid of what she would see in his eyes.

“And then we go our separate ways.” She didn’t know whether she was saying it for him or for herself. Maybe for both of them.

Kayleb didn’t respond to that. He was thinking about them, he had to be. Them as they’d been on the ship, not whatever this pale imitation of the connection was now. But, she reminded herself, he didn’t remember the ship, and he didn’t remember her. And she realized she didn’t know what he was thinking at all.

Kayleb sighed, and when he spoke the gentleness that only the closest to him knew about came through loud and clear. “I don’t think I said it yet, but I’m sorry.”

She might have been sitting still, but her heart beat so fast that it felt like she’d just sprinted ten blocks. “For what?”

“Leaving you.”

She forced herself to shrug and to keep her tone light. “You said you didn’t remember. You can’t be responsible for something you don’t know.”

Warmth scraped against the side of her fingers and Tessa looked down, staring at where Kayleb’s hand rested beside hers, barely touching but rooting her in place as strongly as chains. Her fingers splayed, and she hooked her pinky over his, linking them together.

“My brain forgot,” he said quietly. “My heart didn’t.”

If the need to touch him had seemed great before, it multiplied one hundred-fold. What did that mean? Because she couldn’t force the words out. Instead, she flipped her hand over and slid it under Kayleb’s, entangling their fingers in a firm grip. “I don’t know what to do with you.” They were in grave danger, and the comfort of the suite gave them a temporary illusion of safety.

Kayleb squeezed her hand. “I’m here for you when you figure it out.”

She didn’t know how to respond, so she said nothing.

***

TESSA’S SISTER SET up a meeting with the police for 3 PM, and Kayleb tried not to be disappointed. His mate would be safe after this, and that was what mattered. He didn’t know if he could convince her to give him another chance. The longer Kayleb spent in Tessa’s company, the more convinced he grew that she pushed him away to save herself, not out of hatred for him.

He had hurt her. He’d left and forgotten and only found her again by chance. There was nothing he could do to make up for that, no apology would heal the wound he’d torn in her soul.

Not every mated pair could make it work. The denya bond pulled them together, but it didn’t foster love. It didn’t stop mistakes or fix problems. And though Kayleb had been waiting his entire life for his denya, he’d come to the sobering realization that he might need to let her go.

He couldn’t imagine anyone that he wanted more than Tessa, he loved her. And because he loved her, he would walk away if she told him to. If she couldn’t take the leap and trust him again.

But until that moment, he would protect her with his life and try to prove that he was exactly the man, the mate, that she needed.

His leg muscles had started to stiffen from sitting on the ground for so long. As the time got close, he rolled up to his feet and stuck his arms in the air, arching his back in a big stretch. When he looked over at Tessa, her cheeks had gone a promising pink and she was looking anywhere but at him. He bit back a smile and forced himself to speak in an even tone. “It’s about time.”

Tessa nodded and pulled her bag close, digging inside until she found a small device. She held it up. “The portable jammer is charged. Tam said that the cops would have something to protect the drive. But...”

“You don’t want to be exposed while we’re waiting for them,” Kayleb guessed.

“Yes.”

Though it would be safest for the police to come up to the relaxation suite, the fitness club had a strict policy of requiring warrants before letting the authorities enter their buildings. They didn’t bother with that kind of paperwork on Jaaxis and Kayleb found himself missing home more than ever.

“Use the jammer,” he said. “I don’t want to risk you getting hurt.”

Tessa studied him for several seconds before she finally said, “The feeling is mutual.” She flicked the power switch on the jammer and stuck it back in her bag, sealing the opening and slinging the straps over her shoulders.

They left the room without another word and Kayleb felt exposed as they stepped out of the elevator into the lobby. This was another world, the sounds of people working out filtering down one of the hallways, almost drowned out by the subtle music piped in from invisible speakers.

He let his gaze roam out the windows, scanning for anything that might be a threat to Tessa. The street was busy at this time in the afternoon, vehicles congested on the ground and in the air, almost blotting out the bright blue sky. He didn’t see the police, but they still had a few minutes.

“Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?” Kayleb asked. He didn’t want Tessa going back to that neighborhood, and he and Krayter had plenty of space.

“I...” Tessa began to speak but cut herself off and then shook her head. “I’ll figure something out.”

“You can stay with me. Just for the night, I mean. I’m not asking—” He didn’t know what he wasn’t asking, so he let that hang.

His denya was silent for a moment before she gave him a firm nod. “Okay, one night. I can do that.”

Before he could ask what she meant by ‘that’ an NYPD vehicle came to a stop in front of the building.

Tessa took a deep breath and shot him a glance. “Let’s get this over with.”

Kayleb nodded and followed her outside, his every sense on high alert, waiting for something to go wrong. His claws ached to shoot out and he had to bite back a scowl and a hiss as a pedestrian walked too close to them, not even bothering to glance in their direction. Something was going to go wrong, the certainty of it settled in his bones and made his blood pound, ready for the fight.

And unlike almost every other fight in his life, this was one that he’d die to win. No one was allowed to get close enough to Tessa to hurt her. She’d been hurt enough for one lifetime and if the only thing Kayleb could do for her now was prevent physical pain, then he’d do it better than any bodyguard she could hope to find.

Even though he could feel the threat somewhere, he saw nothing out of place. Maybe on Jaaxis he’d recognize the unfamiliar, but Earth was still too new to him, everything foreign even when it was strangely familiar. Unable to do anything else, he stuck close to Tessa and kept his senses on high alert.

Two police officers stepped out of their illegally parked vehicle and came to meet them on the sidewalk. Finally the pedestrians seemed to pay some attention to their surroundings and gave the officers and by extension, Kayleb and Tessa, a wide berth. A few brave souls shot dirty looks at the officers and Kayleb filed that piece of information away for later.

On Jaaxis, security officers could easily be bribed to look away from certain crimes. The system meant that normal citizens never knew who to fear or respect. His limited interactions with the police of this city hadn’t given him enough time to form an opinion. This place wasn’t like one of the many dictatorships he’d visited where security, corrupt or not, could wield absolute power. At the moment, the important part was that the officers were here to help.

“Ms. Greely, I’m Sergeant Dores,” said one of the two humans, a woman with dark brown skin and hair the color of fire, which was pulled back into a tight bun. “This is Officer Wixon,” she nodded to her male companion, a shorter, pale man with light green eyes and dark hair. “We’ve been sent by our captain on behalf of Prosecutor Greely to retrieve something from you.”

Kayleb stood silent beside Tessa, taking his cues from her. She studied the police for a moment before nodding and reaching into her bag for the tech. “I hope this helps, considering all the trouble it’s caused me.” The officer took it from her and placed it in a sturdy, heavy-looking box that he sealed with a bio-lock and hand print scan.

Dores nodded. “Yes, we had a few questions about that trouble. Would you mind coming to the station with us? Your sister said that she would be happy to meet you there.”

Something was off. Kayleb didn’t catch it from the words, but from the stiffening of Tessa’s spine. He leaned closer to her, ready to step in between her and the officers, and Dores swung her gaze to him, almost strong enough to pin him in place by a look alone.

Almost.

Kayleb kept his mouth shut and trusted Tessa to do the talking. She knew the currents of this planet’s politics much better than he did and she’d proved herself to be a survivor.

“It’s been a long day,” Tessa said carefully. “How about I come in tomorrow morning?” Her hand dropped to her side, partially hidden behind her back, and she brushed her fingers against his thigh, the action hidden from the police.

Kayleb took it as a warning and kept close, ready to spring into action if she gave a sign.

Dores’ lips flattened into a thin line of displeasure as she looked between the two of them. “This isn’t something we should wait on.”

Some of Tessa’s tension dissolved and she pulled her hand away. “First thing in the morning,” she said again. “I’m too tired to be of any use to you right now, I promise.” Her shoulders sagged a little and she offered a wan smile.

Dores sighed and nodded at her partner. “Come down to the 7th precinct tomorrow. We’ll be waiting.”

“Bright and early,” Tessa promised.

The two officers got back into their vehicle and drove away, engaging the anti-grav and sailing up and over the road, causing one flying vehicle to swerve out of the way.

“What was that?” Kayleb asked, clinging to calm when all he wanted to do was bundle Tessa in his arms and keep her safe any way he could.

“I don’t know,” Tessa admitted. “But something felt off about that shit. I need to call Tam.” She pulled her bag forward, but Kayleb put a hand on her arm to stop her.

“I think it’s best that we find somewhere secure before taking any steps.” The crowd on the street had gotten much thinner since the cops arrived and Kayleb’s instincts were screaming at him to move.

Tessa gave him a look, but nodded and secured her bag back in place. “I don’t think we should go to your place right now.”

We. Triumph soared through Kayleb and he did his best to hide the victory, his momentary delight souring as he realized what Tessa meant. “You think they mean us harm?”

She nodded and started walking, Kayleb following close behind. “I don’t want to put your brother in danger.”

“How—” He cut himself off as he remembered that she’d met Krayter several times. “Staying at a hotel would risk other people, I wouldn’t want to do that, either.”

“My brother keeps an apartment in town, but he won’t be there now. If he hasn’t changed his security codes, we should be able to get in.”

“Adam or Chance?” Kayleb asked off-handedly, glancing behind to make sure they weren’t being followed. He ran into Tessa, who’d frozen in place.

“What did you just say?” she spun around and asked, dangerously low.

“I asked which of your brothers... oh.” She had two brothers and a sister, he remembered, but she only had a relationship with Tamara. Chance was a doctor and Adam a politician. She’d been amazed when Kayleb listed off his dozen siblings and that he was close to all of them in some form or another. And she’d hugged him tight when he explained his elder sister Karwan’s death.

His mind reeled and he tried to chase down the thoughts, following trails and dregs of memories where Tessa lived within him. But the harder he sought, the quicker they dissolved, until they were as inconsequential as sand slipping through his fingers.

Something must have shown on his face as Tessa’s surprise shifted into something softer. “Adam,” she said after several moments. “He’ll be in Albany right now for the legislative session.” She reached out and grabbed his hand, wrapping her fingers tight. “Come on, we’re not that far.”