Thorn brought her back to the Mothership with him. He didn’t know where else to take her—what else to do. He told himself she could at least stay until it was time to take a pregnancy test, which would hopefully be negative, and then he could take her back to Yonnite Six.
The thought of that—of losing her—was almost more than he could bear. But he had bonded her to him unwillingly and he couldn’t keep her if she wanted to go—which she very plainly did.
Thorn couldn’t say that he blamed her. He hadn’t just had sex with her there in the dungeon on Berroff Prime—he had sexually savaged her. Neh’sa had the bruises and the bite mark to prove it.
Gods, why had he been so rough with her? Was it some lingering anger inside him at the way she’d made him submit?
Or maybe it was the way she made you want to submit, whispered a dark voice inside him.
Thorn didn’t know. He only knew he ached to take her in his arms and apologize—to make her understand how he felt, how much he loved her. He’d even thought it might be possible for her to love him back. She’d trusted him, after all—had leapt into his arms even when the fire completely covered his body. She had overcome her natural fear of being burned because he’d assured her she would be all right. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
Apparently not. The more he tried to reach out to Neh’sa, the more she withdrew from him. She wouldn’t even let him put healing salve on the bite mark he’d left on her. At last, he left her alone in the back of the small ship’s cabin and went to call Commander Sylvan on the viewscreen.
“There you are, Commander Thorn!” Sylvan greeted him heartily. “We got the information you sent—very good work!”
“I hope it helps,” Thorn growled. “You have no idea what I had to do to get it.”
Sylvan sobered immediately.
“I’m sorry, Brother,” he said, his voice going soft and serious. “I take it the price you paid to save us all was high.”
“Very fucking high.” Thorn sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, Commander Sylvan, I’m going to be bringing someone back with me to the Mothership—a Yonnite female.”
“Really?” Sylvan sounded surprised. “Is she some kind of a prisoner or…”
“It’s Mistress Neh’sanna—the female who bought me,” Thorn explained. “And she’s also now my bonded mate…although she doesn’t want to be.”
Sylvan frowned. “I assume there’s a story behind that. Do you want to talk about it?”
Thorn shook his head. “No. But I think it would be good to have some females come to greet us when we dock. Someone Neh’sa can feel safe with. And…” he cleared his throat, feeling shame well up within him. “And she needs some…medical attention. I wounded her when I bonded her to me.”
“I see,” Sylvan said quietly. “Well, I’ll bring my mate, Sophia and her sister, Olivia who is a nurse. Will that be sufficient?”
“I hope so.” Thorn sighed. “She just needs someone to talk to and she sure as the Seven Hells isn’t talking to me.”
“It will be all right, Brother,” Sylvan said. “The Goddess has her hand in this situation—you’ll see.”
“Thank you, I guess.” Thorn looked away from the viewscreen. He didn’t know what to think—what to say. Sylvan seemed to sense his mood because he wrapped up the call, promising to have the fold in space ready at the agreed upon time and place so Thorn could get back to the Mothership quickly.
Thorn thanked him again and as the viewscreen went blank, he thought of what Sylvan had said.
“The Goddess has her hand in this…” Could it be true?
But if so, how?
* * * * *
“Hi there, you must be Mistress Neh’sanna.” A woman with blonde hair and gray eyes greeted Neh’sa as she walked down the gangplank of the small silver ship which had docked inside the much larger Kindred Mothership. Beside her was a woman with a very similar face but dark brown hair and green eyes. And beside her was a girl with creamy brown skin and lovely amber colored eyes.
The third woman was holding a tray of…something. Some kind of food, Neh’sa thought and her stomach rumbled when the rich, sweet smell reached her nose. It reminded her that she hadn’t eaten anything in well over twenty-four hours at this point. She’d been too upset and frightened earlier to notice it but now she had to admit to herself she was really hungry.
“Hello,” she ventured, pulling Thorn’s spare shirt closer around herself. Beneath it she still wore the ragged remains of her once-lovely, black lace formal gown. Between the gown and the shirt she was completely covered but she still felt somehow naked and vulnerable in this new place with these strange people.
“I’m Olivia—Liv to my friends. And this is Sophie, my twin sister and Lauren, our cousin.” The woman with blonde hair indicated her companions. “We’re kind of an unofficial welcoming committee. So welcome to the Mothership.” She smiled.
“Um…thank you,” Neh’sa said uncertainly. “I just…” At that moment, Thorn walked down the gangplank to meet a tall Kindred male who had blond hair and pale blue eyes. As he passed Neh’sa, he said nothing, but gave her a long look.
For a moment she thought he would try to contact her through their newly forged link, but Thorn’s mental voice remained silent. There was just that look…and then he turned his back and began speaking to the blond male whom he referred to as, “Commander Sylvan.”
“Whew!” the girl with brown hair murmured, clearly catching the tension between Neh’sa and Thorn. “What’s the story there?”
“She might not want to say, Sophie,” Liv said, frowning. Then to Neh’sa she said, “Why don’t you come with us? We have a guest suite all lined up for you and some fresh clothes too.”
“Thank you,” Neh’sa said again. She was a little taken aback at their open generosity. The Mistresses on Yonnie Six mostly regarded each other with wary hostility—even friends could become enemies in a heartbeat if circumstances turned and the friendship was no longer convenient. “You’re…very kind,” she added.
“You look like you could use a little kindness, hon,” Liv said frankly. She smiled at Neh’sa, “Come on—your suite is this way.”
They led her down several twisting metal corridors to one of many doors. Liv had Neh’sa place her palm on the metal surface so it was keyed to her touch and told her no one else could open it without her permission.
“You’ll be safe in here,” she told Neh’sa, eyeing her shoulder.
Neh’sa realized the collar of Thorn’s shirt had slid open, revealing the place he’d bitten her. She couldn’t see it herself but it must look pretty bad from the expression on Liv’s pretty face.
“Thank you,” she said, pulling the collar closed quickly.
“Come on in and we’ll show you the amenities,” Lauren, the girl holding the small, sweet-smelling confections, said. “It takes a little time to get used to living on the Mothership.”
“I don’t expect to live here forever,” Neh’sa said quickly as they went inside the small but snug guest quarters. “Although…I’m not sure where I can go,” she added. “Especially if it turns out I’m…I’m…” Her voice faltered and the last word came out in a whisper. “Pregnant.”
“Oh, hon…” Liv put an arm around her shoulders and Neh’sa realized she was crying. What was happening to her, she wondered as the other woman led her to a plush sofa and seated her. She had somehow become a whole other person.
She was no longer the self-possessed Mistress who was used to having her every word obeyed, the female who kept her calm no matter what. Now she was a blubbering fool who couldn’t stop crying. She had to stop showing such weakness! Back home on Yonnie Six allowing oneself to become emotional in front of others was considered a sign of fragility and mental infirmity.
“I…I’m sorry,” she managed to say, swiping at her eyes as she struggled to get hold of herself. “It’s just, in the past twenty-four standard hours I’ve been betrayed by the one I thought I loved, kidnapped, forced to submit sexually for the pleasure of an angry male, and somehow bonded to the one who betrayed me in the first place. And…and I haven’t had anything to eat either,” she added, suddenly feeling sick and faint as her stomach twisted with hunger pangs.
“Oh my God, you poor thing! And here I am with a whole plate of cupcakes and I never even offered you one,” Lauren exclaimed. She pushed the plate with its sweet-smelling confections towards Neh’sa eagerly. “Here you go—please take one.”
“Take them all,” Sophie said, anxiously. “There’s nothing like a batch of Lauren’s delicious homemade cupcakes to make you feel better.”
“Especially if you have low blood sugar,” Liv added. “Which you probably do if you haven’t eaten in so long. Here—try the salted caramel,” she said since Neh’sa was hesitating, uncertain which of the small confections to try first. “It’s amazing and it should perk you right up.”
“None of them contain meat or the flesh of any animals, do they?” Neh’sa asked, picking up the small cake and sniffing it. It smelled delicious.
“Oh, are you a vegetarian or a Vegan?” Lauren asked anxiously. “None of them have meat but I’m afraid you can’t make my famous butter-cream frosting without butter.”
Neh’sa didn’t know what “butter” was but as soon as Lauren assured her there was no meat in the small cakes, she took a bite.
It was amazing—sweet and creamy and moist and there were little salt granules sprinkled over the frosting that crunched between her teeth as she chewed.
“Mmm!” she couldn’t help moaning, her eyes fluttering closed in culinary ecstasy. “Goddess above, this is amazing.”
“Have another one,” Lauren urged her and Neh’sa realized she had finished the first one already, even down to the strangely chewy wrapper around the bottom part of it, which was the only part she didn’t especially like.
“Um, you can take the cupcake paper off first,” Liv said tactfully, peeling it off a small pink cake and handing it to Neh’sa. “That part isn’t supposed to be, uh, edible. Try this one—it’s strawberries and cream supreme.”
The second small cake was just as good—better actually, without the wrapper which was apparently not meant to be eaten. Neh’sa finished it off and then tried a deep dark devil’s food fudge cupcake and after that a blueberry surprise which turned out to have sweet purple-blue jam in the center.
Finally, she began to feel more like herself again.
“Goddess,” she said, taking a sip from the glass of water that Liv offered her. “Thank you so much. I don’t think I realized how hungry I was.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry for my behavior earlier. I’m not normally so…emotional.”
“Completely understandable. Having all those stressful events you mentioned happen and then low blood sugar on top of it would mess with anyone’s emotions,” Liv said firmly. She raised an eyebrow at Neh’sa. “Speaking of which, Commander Thorn told Sylvan when he called that you needed some…medical attention. I’m a nurse—a medical professional,” she added, seeing Neh’sa’s wary look. “Will you let me look you over?”
“I…don’t know.” Neh’sa drew Thorn’s shirt tighter around herself. She suddenly felt embarrassed all over again. Of course, she was used to wearing revealing clothes in front of others—it was part of the Yonnite culture. But she couldn’t help wondering what these kind females would think of her if they knew all the things she’d let—no begged—Thorn to do to her.
“We can leave if you want, so you and Liv can have privacy,” Sophie offered.
She and Lauren started to get up but Neh’sa held out a hand to stop them.
“No, stay,” she said, uncertain of why she was saying it. Maybe it was just that they were the first kind faces she’d seen in what felt like forever. She considered herself to be a fairly good judge of people—or she had before she’d let Thorn fool her—and she thought they seemed kind and understanding.
“We’ll be happy to stay, Mistress Neh’sanna.” Sophie smiled at her warmly and she and Lauren settled back down on the couch.
“Neh’sa—please call me Neh’sa,” Neh’sa said. She didn’t usually extend that invitation to any but friends but though she had known these women such a short time, they already felt that way to her.
“Neh’sa, then. Would you please remove the shirt?” Liv asked gently. “I think I need to look at that shoulder.”
Neh’sa let Thorn’s spare shirt pool around her waist in a puddle of red fabric. The torn lace gown still covered much of her breasts but her panties were gone so she made certain to cover herself there while Liv looked at the bite mark on her shoulder.
“Did Commander Thorn do this?” she asked, frowning as she began to disinfect the bite with some kind of liquid that bubbled and fizzed when it touched the broken skin.
“Yes,” Neh’sa said in a low voice. “When he…when he took me.”
“Was that against your will, honey?” Liv asked in a low, firm voice. “Because I have a rape kit in my bag.” She nodded at the large black bag she’d been carrying over one arm which appeared to hold all her medical supplies.
“No,” Neh’sa said quickly. “No, it…wasn’t like that. I…” She cleared her throat and lifted her chin. “I wanted him to take me,” she admitted at last. “Wanted him to penetrate me.”
“That’s a big no-no where you’re from, isn’t it?” Sophia sounded sympathetic. “I mean, on Yonnie Six? We’ve never been there but we’ve heard about it—how women don’t let men, uh, penetrate them. Is that right?”
“That’s correct.” Neh’sa looked down at her hands. “I am usually quite dominant—I am a Mistress which means I do the penetrating. But we were put into a situation where Thorn…had no choice.”
“Well he didn’t have to be so rough about it.” Liv sounded disapproving as she carefully smeared some medicinal smelling salve on the bite mark.
“Maybe he did, though.” Sophie sounded thoughtful. “I mean, what kind of Kindred is he, anyway? I didn’t see any fangs but is he a Blood Kindred?”
Neh’sa shrugged and winced when the gesture hurt her wounded shoulder.
“He has some Blood Kindred ancestry and also some Beast Kindred blood as well. But he’s also half Enfuego.”
“Oh—a hybrid,” Lauren exclaimed. “I wondered about those eyes of his when I saw him.”
“Maybe it was the Blood Kindred part of him that made him want to bite you when he bonded you to him,” Sophie said. “That’s typical for them—they can’t bond without biting. I should know—my husband Sylvan is Blood Kindred.”
“I don’t know if it was his heritage that made him bite me,” Neh’sa said in a low voice. “I think it’s more likely he was asserting his dominance over me.”
“Dominance?” Lauren frowned. “You said Commander Thorn is part Blood Kindred, part Beast Kindred, and part something else…Enfuego, right?”
Neh’sa nodded. “Yes.”
“Well are the Enfuego people anything like the Scourge? In their, uh, sexual appetites I mean.” Lauren coughed. “What I’m trying to say is, are they into BDSM?”
“I don’t know what that means,” Neh’sa said, shaking her head.
“Bondage and domination or discipline and sado-masochism, right?” Sophie asked, frowning.
Lauren nodded. “I’m just asking because, well, my husband Xairn is Scourge and they’re heavily into that. I mean…” She cleared her throat. “I guess I should say we’re into it. I mean, playing those kinds of games in the bedroom, you know?”
Neh’sa was interested.
“‘Those kinds of games,’ as you put it, are part of the culture of my planet. We Mistresses dominate our male body-slaves but we do not allow them to dominate us in turn. Well…” She could feel her cheeks getting hot. “We’re not supposed to, anyway.”
“But you let Thorn dominate you?” Liv asked quietly.
“I did, yes.” Neh’sa twisted her hands in the red fabric of the shirt in her lap. “It is…a great shame among my people. And I don’t know if…if Thorn can ever respect me again.”
“But you dominated him too, right?” Sophie asked candidly.
“Of course I did—but that is the normal way of my people—the female is dominant,” Neh’sa explained. “Though I know the…playing of such games, is not considered ‘normal’ in many cultures.”
“It is for us because my husband, Xairn, is Scourge,” Lauren said. “But in our case, he’s the Dom.” The corner of her mouth twitched up in a smile. “Not that I mind—it’s pretty amazing and intense, you know?”
“I…I found it to be intense as well…being dominated,” Neh’sa murmured, feeling her cheeks get hot again as she remembered the deeply possessive way Thorn had taken her.
“So why wouldn’t Thorn respect you just because you guys, uh, switched it up for a change?” Liv asked. “Honestly, he’s probably wondering the same thing about you—if you’ll respect him after you dominated him. I know it seems weird considering the culture you come from, but in our world, it’s often the men who do the dominating and a lot of them would feel, uh, emasculated if they let a woman take control sexually. You did say you dominated him, right?”
Neh’sa nodded. “Quite thoroughly. On several occasions. But now…” She sighed. “Now I feel like he probably didn’t really want to be dominated. Most Mistresses don’t care about the willingness of their slaves but I do—I only take slaves who wish to serve a Mistress.”
“I can see how you would wonder about that,” Sophie remarked. “I mean, Sylvan told me a little about Thorn’s mission—he was supposed to go to Yonnie Six and pose as a slave and do anything he had to do in order to get the information he needed. Including submit to the Mistress who bought him.”
“That’s another problem.” Neh’sa squeezed her hands into fists. “He lied to me. He told me he wanted to be my slave—that my touch stirred him as no other female’s ever had. And then…” She sighed. “And then I found out the truth. He never wanted to be with me—never truly cared for me. He only wanted to get information from the Library of All Knowledge which the Mistresses of Yonnie Six curate and protect.”
Liv nodded sympathetically.
“Lying is hard to get over. I don’t know if it’s any consolation to you, but Thorn was actually acting very bravely. I think he thought he was going into a kind of torture situation and he was doing it in order to get information on how to stop the Hive.”
Neh’sa frowned. “The what?”
“The Hive. They’re this race of giant, sentient insect-like creatures and they’re awful. They use humanoid-type women as gestational vessels for their grubs.” Sophie shivered. “We’re trying to keep them from taking over Earth and basically our entire solar system.”
Neh’sa frowned. “I didn’t know that was what he was after. Why didn’t he just ask me?”
“Well…we were pretty sure that Yonnie Six wouldn’t want anything to do with a society where males and females are equal,” Liv explained. “We’ve sent people to your planet before, you know. And, well…present company excluded but most Yonnite Mistresses aren’t exactly very friendly.”
“We can be a contentious bunch,” Neh’sa agreed with a sigh. “But I wish Thorn would have trusted me enough to tell me what he needed instead of pretending to be something he was not.”
And pretending to want something sexually he didn’t really want, she mentally added. Not to mention pretending to care for me.
“But I do care for you, Neh’sa—I care for you deeply!” The mental voice in her head startled her so much she dropped the remains of the blueberry surprise cupcake on the floor.
“Neh’sa, are you okay?” Lauren looked at her anxiously.
“I know that look—someone is bespeaking her,” Sophie said. “Is it Thorn?”
Neh’sa nodded. “It’s still so strange to hear him in my head. He says…he says he cares for me.” She could scarcely get the words out—her throat had gotten tight with emotion.
“And how do you feel about him?” Liv asked gently.
“I…I don’t know. I felt betrayed when I found out he was pretending to be my body-slave under false pretenses. But now…” Neh’sa shook her head. “I just don’t know.”
“Just let me come and speak to you,” Thorn begged softly, through their link. “Let me try to explain.”
“Let me think about it,” Neh’sa sent back. Aloud she said, “He wants to come speak with me.”
“And do you want to speak with him?” Liv pressed a soft white bandage over the bite-mark on her shoulder and taped it in place. “Do you feel comfortable being alone with him? Do you want one of us to stay with you?”
Neh’sa realized the other woman still thought that Thorn was abusive.
“I feel perfectly safe with him—really I do,” she told her new friends earnestly. “I just…need some time alone to think.” She grimaced. “And I’d like to get cleaned up and changed into fresh clothing too.”
“Tell him that, then,” Lauren urged her. “Tell him you need a little time for yourself.”
“I will.” Neh’sa closed her eyes. “Give me a day to recover myself, Thorn. I need some time to consider matters before we meet again.”
“I understand.” She could feel his impatience but there was respect in his tone. “May I come to you tomorrow evening, Mistress?”
“Don’t call me that if you don’t mean it!” Neh’sa snapped.
“I meant everything I said including that I care for you,” Thorn responded quietly. “But I’ll leave you alone until tomorrow night if that’s what you want.”
“Yes. Give me some time,” Neh’sa told him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mistress.”
And then he was gone and she found herself alone in her own head again.
“Well?” Sophie’s eyes were shining with anticipation.
Neh’sa sighed. “I agreed to meet with him tomorrow night and hear what he has to say.”
“Good.” Liv nodded decisively. “You’ll feel more clear-headed about things once you have some time to yourself to relax and unwind.”
“I recommend taking a nice long swim in the bathing pool,” Sophie said. There’s a clean, soft robe in the fresher and I’ll send you some new clothes to wear—unless you feel like going shopping?”
Neh’sa shook her head.
“I’m certain I’ll be happy to wear anything you send me, Sophie.”
“Well, I think red is your color.” Sophie smiled. “I’ll be sure to send you several things to choose from.”
“And I’ll send you some meals,” Lauren promised. She laughed. “Something a little more filling and nutritious than cupcakes. And don’t worry—I’ll be sure it’s all vegetarian.”
“You’re all so kind to me.” Neh’sa looked at them in wonder. “On my planet, females are always fighting for position and trying to best each other. No one remains friends for long. I hope…hope it’s not like that here aboard the Mothership.”
“Never,” Liv said firmly. “We’re friends for life here—living on the Mothership is about sisterhood and solidarity. We’re like one big happy family.”
“A happy family,” Neh’sa murmured, thinking of how long it had been since she’d had such a thing. “That would be…nice.”
“It’s wonderful,” Sophie said, smiling. “We actually have a whole group of women who are friends up here. We’d love to introduce you…if you stay.”
“Well, I guess that will depend.” Neh’sa bit her lip. “How long…how long does it take for a Kindred pregnancy to show?” she asked.
“You mean if a Kindred is the father?” Liv asked. “Not too long after you, uh, have the encounter, actually. Maybe a day or two.”
“Then…I may be contacting you soon and asking to take a test. You do have such things here on board?” Neh’sa asked.
“What, a pregnancy test? Oh yes.” Liv nodded. “The Kindred pregnancy test is actually really adorable because you put in your blood sample and then you get a flower that tells you what’s going on.”
“A white flower means not pregnant,” Lauren said. “A pink flower means a girl and a blue flower means a boy.”
“But watch out if you get a blue and a pink flower,” Sophie added, laughing. “Because that means twins and let me tell you, mine keep me hopping!”
“So…have you all had children with Kindred males?” Neh’sa said.
“Well, Kindred and Scourge,” Lauren amended. “But my guy has some Kindred DNA too. So, yeah, we have.”
“What…what are they like?” Neh’sa asked.
“Excellent fathers,” Liv said decisively and the other two women nodded.
“The best,” Sophie said. “Very patient with the kids—sometimes I think Sylvan is a better mom than I am!”
“It sounds…nice. I was raised by my mother but I do remember my father a bit,” Neh’sa murmured. “He died when I was very young, before we moved to Yonnie Six.” It had been one reason her mother had decided to move them when she inherited a place as a Mistress in Opulex.
“You could do a lot worse than to have kids with a Kindred,” Liv told her, pressing her hand. “They’re certainly better than human men.”
The other two girls nodded in agreement.
“When I think of some of the jerks I dated back on Earth…” Lauren shook her head.
“I’m sure…” Neh’sa began but her words ended in a yawn. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said to her new friends. “I’m just…suddenly exhausted.”
“After the day you’ve had, no wonder.” Sophie smiled at her understandingly. “Is there anything else we can do for you before we go?”
“No…no thank you.” Neh’sa yawned again. “Oh, excuse me.”
“No excuse necessary, hon,” Liv told her. “Come on, girls—let’s let her get some rest.”
“We’ll send everything we promised over to you,” Sophie told her. “But don’t feel like you have to wait up for it. There’s a one-way delivery slot at the foot of the door. People can leave packages for you that way and you can get them whenever you want.”
“Thank you—all of you—for everything.” Neh’sa looked at them gratefully. “I can’t tell you how much better it made me feel to…unburden myself to you.”
“Girl talk always helps,” Sophie said, smiling.
“And we’re available for more of it anytime you want,” Liv promised. She leaned over and gave Neh’sa a spontaneous hug. “You know, I think you’ll like it here if you give it a chance. I hope you decide to stay.”
“Well…thank you.” Neh’sa, who was unused to such displays of friendly affection, found she liked the gesture. Tentatively, she hugged Liv back.
“I hope so too,” Sophie reached around to hug her and then Lauren did as well.
“I’ll send you more cupcakes along with the other food,” she murmured in Neh’sa’s ear. “I notice you seem to like them.”
“They’re pretty much the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” Neh’sa admitted with a laugh which surprised even her. “We have nothing like them on Yonnie Six.”
“You have to tell us more about your home planet when you get a chance,” Liv said as they all got up to go. “I mean, we’ve heard stories but never from an actual Mistress who lives there. You must lead a fascinating life.”
Neh’sa thought of her life—which mostly consisted of training slaves, attending social functions where most of the other Mistresses might be out to discredit or hurt her, and working long hours in her Mercy clinic out of guilt for the lifestyle she led and sorrow for her loss of Heroth.
“I don’t know about fascinating,” she said at last. “But it was…satisfying. In some ways, at least. Though often frustrating and saddening as well.” She put a hand to her mouth just in time to catch another yawn.
“We’d better let you go. We can talk about it another time,” Liv said. “Come on girls—Baird is going to be wondering where I got to.”
“I have to go pick up the twins and meet Sylvan for supper,” Sophie said. “What about you, Lauren?”
“I’ve already got something going in the taste-cooker,” Lauren replied. “But Xairn usually waits for me to get home before he’ll eat.”
Neh’sa thought their domestic situations sounded perfect if somewhat strange. She was used to having droids and servants do much of her domestic duties although she had learned by her mother’s side to do them herself when she was a girl. She tried to imagine herself working and cooking and raising children on the Mothership with Thorn at her side, not as a body-slave but as an equal, a partner…
The idea was surprisingly easy to imagine but Neh’sa doubted that it could ever become a reality. There were still lingering doubts in her mind…worries and sorrows that could not be easily overcome.
I need to rest—need some time to myself, she thought as she waved to her three new friends and watched them leave.
But would time to herself help her decide if she could believe Thorn’s claim that he cared for her?
After his betrayal and everything she had been through, Neh’sa just didn’t know.
* * * * *
Though he tried not to eavesdrop, Thorn could feel her wondering, through their new bond, whether she could ever trust him again. Whether she could forgive him and believe that he cared for her.
Can you blame her for being doubtful? whispered a little voice in his head. You misrepresented yourself to her—lied to her for so long. And what was the one thing she said she couldn’t tolerate when she first bought you at that auction?
“Dishonesty,” he said aloud, staring into the empty darkness of his private quarters. He’d hoped to bring Neh’sa here—instead she was installed in one of the single guest suites across the ship. Not that he blamed her for wanting time away from him. After the way he’d treated her during their bonding…
He closed his eyes, hating himself, wishing he could have done things differently—that he could have told her the truth.
The secret wasn’t mine to tell, he argued with himself. I couldn’t jeopardize my mission and the possible fate of my entire race for love.
It was true but all the same he felt uncomfortable. He could hear Neh’sa wondering if anything he’d told her was the truth—if he hated her for what she’d done to him…
Wait a minute.
Thorn had been lying on the sleeping platform but now he sat up, frowning. Did Neh’sa really think he hated her for the way she’d dominated him? Did she think he’d faked all his emotions, that he didn’t want that kind of relationship—the kind she craved?
Well, how did he feel about it? Thorn asked himself honestly. He’d gone into his mission on Yonnie Six expecting it to be torture to give himself sexually over to a dominant woman. Instead he’d found…love. He didn’t want to be dominated all the time but then, he didn’t think that Neh’sa wanted to dominate all the time. What if they just…took turns?
And what if she turns you down flat and doesn’t want anything to do with you ever again? whispered a pessimistic little voice in his head. You couldn’t blame her if she did.
No, but he was hoping she wouldn’t. He had to give her a reason to see that he loved her—a reason to trust him again, Thorn thought.
Suddenly, he had an idea. Would he be able to find the equipment he needed on board the Mothership? And more importantly, would the idea work if he did find the necessary gear to accomplish it?
Thorn didn’t know. He only knew he had to try—it might be his last chance to win Neh’sa’s heart. And he was willing to do anything to make that happen.
Anything at all.