Chapter Thirteen
Ben stood behind his desk, watching as his clansman and Evan Grant wiped their bloody noses and cut brows. The Laird of Grant entered the room and stood behind his son, arms crossed and silent. “I want to know what this is about? And I want the truth.”
“Evan Grant thought it would be appropriate to insult ye guest, Laird Ross. Not that I like to speak ill of a woman, but Lady Athol was also quite scathing in her remarks about Miss Kenzie.”
Anger thrummed through his blood at the thought of Kenzie being degraded by anyone, especially other guests he’d made welcome at his keep. “Is that true?” He levelled his glare on Evan Grant and was pleased to see the man shift uncomfortably on his feet. Good, he wanted him to take pause, for he wouldn’t stand for it.
“Ye man lies, but with the looks that Bruce has been sending ye pretty visitor, Kenzie, ’tis any wonder he’d say such things. He wants her for himself, and if he can get ye to believe she’s a whore, sleeps with any one of ye men, then you’ll likely leave her be.”
Bruce stormed across the room, and thankfully, the few guards he had standing at the back of the solar stopped the men from trying to kill each other again. “Ye lie, ye bastard. You’re the one, along with ye sister, who said the Kenzie, was a strumpet, no doubt keeping many a bed warm and not only the laird’s. That it was a disgrace for the lass to be here, anywhere near the future laird Alasdair, so tarnished is the woman’s reputation.”
Ben’s eye twitched at the insult to Kenzie. “It would be unwise for Clan Grant to say such things about a woman who’s a relative to Clan Macleod and close confidant to Gwendolyn Macleod.”
Evan shook his head. “Why would we say such things? We have no reason. We’re here as ye guests. You have my nephew upstairs—the future for both our clans. Our whole reason for coming to Castle Ross was to mend the rift between our two great houses. Why would we insult ye by saying such things? ’Tis not a sensible move.”
Ben leaned over his desk, levelling both men with his thunderous gaze. “’Twould be unwise for what either of ye are saying to be true. Kenzie neither deserves to be ogled like a piece of meat by my men, nor does she deserve the censure and degradation by a clan that is here as my guest. And, if I hear of any such whisperings or see any slights in her direction, whoever that may be, they shall meet the end of my blade.”
The Laird Grant stepped forward, clasping his son’s shoulder when Even went to say something further. ’Twas lucky the laird had some sense when it came to his beloved boy.
“Apologies, Ben. While I’m unaware as to who speaks the truth, know that no further insult will be made, if my clan has, in fact, insulted the lass, Kenzie. ’Twill not happen again.”
The Laird Grant pushed his son toward the door and left Ben and Bruce alone. Ben dismissed the guards. “Sit, Bruce,” he said, taking his own seat behind the desk. “Explain. Now.”
Bruce ran a hand over his jaw, wiping the blood that had pooled on his chin on his tunic. “I heard them with my own ears. Whispering in the great hall. I was busy with a kitchen maid near the alcove, not far from the fire, and I heard them as clear as I hear ye now. The kitchen lass heard their slander, too. I would not lie about such a thing. And I dinna look at Kenzie in that way. Ye know I like May and wish to marry her.”
Ben hadn’t known Bruce was as serious as he seemed to be toward the servant, and it cooled the hot and molten temper that had burned within him at the thought of his clansmen wishing to tup the woman he himself had become infatuated with. Actually, who he cared for more than any other, even Aline or Gwendolyn.
“I’m glad to hear it, Bruce, and of course yer words ring truer than those of Clan Grant’s. Ye are my clansman, a brother to me, and I know when ye are telling the truth and when you’re not. And Clan Grant are lying out of their asses.”
“Aye, they are. The loathing they have for ye lass is palatable and I would be keeping a close watch on Kenzie for the time that she is staying here. I’d also not be turning my back on that clan. They make me uneasy and I dinna trust them.”
Ben thought over Bruce’s words. He’d never had reason to distrust his clansmen before and he wouldn’t be starting now. He himself had caught the venom in Athol’s eyes when it came to Kenzie, and if the lass thought to have him as her husband, then mayhap the family had taken on her view that Kenzie was an enemy that should be dealt with. Removed even.
“I thank ye for your words and support. I trust ye more than any other here, Bruce, and I’ll not forget ye kindness nor your actions in defending Kenzie’s honor. I thank ye for that. Say nothing to anyone but keep yer eyes open and ears to the ground, should any further whispers reach ye. I wish to know of them.”
“Aye,” Bruce said, standing. “Ye can count on that, Laird Ross. Now, if ye are in agreement, I shall take myself off to the kitchens and have May clean up my face. ’Tis stinging like a bastard.”
Ben watched him leave and narrowed his eyes on the door. Something was afoot, and though Ben didn’t know what that was, he would find out. And so help Clan Grant should they try anything stupid toward his people or himself. ’Twould not end well for them.
…
The next day, the sun burned off the dew, and the foggy morning lifted, leaving the beautiful green land with the promise of a lovely day. Ben, along with Kenzie, rode north to where his crops would be planted this year. The top paddocks had been left fallow the past year, rotated with the southern paddocks. Over the last month Ben had his field hands working the ground, removing weeds.
Men and women were already walking three oxen up and down the paddock, ploughing the land, turning the soil ready for planting.
Kenzie came to stand beside him; not even her work gown diminished her beauty. “You know, in my time we have great big farm machinery that does this for us. The days of walking an ox up and down for hours on end are long gone. Well, in developed countries, that is. In some third world areas the people still use such resources.”
Ben looked out on his land, nodding to the few tenant farmers who waved in welcome. What was this farm machinery she spoke of? He couldn’t imagine such things.
“A laird helping his tenant farmers to farm his land isn’t normally what would happen, so I’m curious as to why you feel the need to be out here.”
Ben sighed, hating the fact that by his own actions he felt the need to make it up to his people in any way he could. For letting them down the last year, being an absent landlord, a drunkard who had put his own pity before that of his people. His son.
“I need to show them that I’m here, present and willing to help to make Castle Ross a stronghold, a productive, safe place for my people. A home where my clansmen are well looked after, and their laird is willing to get off his ass and help those less fortunate.”
“Well,” she said, going over to the cart and picking up a small bag of grain. “I think today is a start along those lines.” She walked out into the field, careful to follow the ruts the ox and plough had already turned out. “Are you coming?”
“Aye, lass.” They followed the ox, dropping the seeds into the ground. By lunch, Kenzie looked tired and a little suntouched. “Come and have something to eat, lass. As ye suggested, I’ve had a basket of food delivered for ye, and we’ll rest and eat.”
Kenzie followed him toward a large ash tree and sighed when she sat. “For a day that started off quite cool, it’s turned out warm. Did you decide to have Alasdair come out or not?”
Ben watched as she swallowed some ale from a leather pouch, the little drip of drink that ran down her chin made him want to reach over and rub it away. Preferably with his mouth. “He had a little cough, so I thought it best he stays indoors today. But I’ll take ye up on your idea, and we’ll do something together another day.”
She nodded, looking about. “This is nice,” she said, taking some bread from the basket and placing a little ham into it. “I wanted to ask at breakfast, but with the Grants nearby I didn’t, but why didn’t you come to my room last night? I have something I want to talk to you about.”
“Aye, I know, lass, and I apologize. The fight between Bruce and Evan Grant took longer than I thought it would to settle, and by the time I’d washed, it was late. I dinna wish to wake ye.”
Kenzie wiggled over to sit next to him, the scent of flowers wafting from her hair, even after all the hard work she’d done. Was she always this perfect? Ben believed she might be.
“No matter what time it is, I’d welcome you.”
Without thought Ben leaned forward and kissed her. She didn’t hesitate, but leaned into his embrace, one hand wrapping about the nape of his neck and kissing him deeper. “Don’t ever think that way again. My bed is cold when my Highlander isn’t beside me.”
“Your Highlander?” Her words brought him up with a mix of concern and delight. Yes, he was her Highlander, and she was his lass, but the time they had together would not be forever. Kenzie was returning to her century, and he was certainly not looking to marry again. The image of Kenzie dying after giving birth to their child haunted his mind and he frowned. He’d lost Aline, put her into an early grave all because he’d wished for an heir. He would not risk Kenzie to simply gain a spare.
Ben sat back and looked out over the field, watching as the tenant farmers sat and ate their lunch a little way away. “What was it that ye wished to talk to me about, lass? Is it something ye can say here?”
If Kenzie noted his change of conversation or that he’d pulled back a little she didn’t mention it, simply swallowed her bread and ham, meeting his gaze. “If I tell you what I know, you must promise me not to do anything, or react in any way that will cause alarm for your people.”
A cold knot formed in his gut at her words. “What is it that ye know?”
“My trip back to this time wasn’t solely to visit my ancestors, but also to learn a little more about you. I’ve been fascinated with the stories of Black Ben, the best longbow shot in Scotland. The tales written about you in my family’s journal are almost famous.”
Ben didn’t think his life was worth such a tribute, but curious, he said, “Go on. What else, lass?”
Kenzie checked their surroundings and, satisfied no one was about, continued. “As you know, in my time, Clan Ross is no longer around. Of course, I’m sure there are Ross’s about, but none here at your castle.”
He frowned. “Aye, I remember ye sayin’”
“What I wasn’t fully truthful about was when your line dies out, because it’s with you, in your time, that the clan ends. You are known as one of Scotland’s unsolved mysteries.”
Shock ricocheted through him, and he stood, unsure what to do with such information. An unsolved mystery. What the hell did that even mean? What happened to Alasdair? His son was only a baby. Surely, he’d not allowed anyone to harm the lad.
“Ye need to tell me all that ye know, and now.” He ran a hand through his hair, anger thrumming through him. How long had Kenzie known? Well, he understood how long, since the day she arrived, and the fact she’d not told him of his future left a cold knot of anger in the pit of his stomach.
She should have told him.
“There isn’t much to know. You’re presumed killed, although there was never any confirmation of that, nor is your son seen again. When we were ambushed at Gwen’s home I thought that the men behind your demise would show themselves again, but they haven’t. There’s been no threat at all, so something could have changed, but I don’t want you to be hurt or Alasdair caught off guard. I’m telling you now in order for you to put in place some security measures to help stop whatever fate has in store for you.”
“Ye cannot rewrite history, Kenzie. It is what it is.” It could not be done, no matter how much he may wish to.
“When?” he asked, ignoring the flinch from Kenzie at his deadly tone. What did the lass expect? For him to be happy with such news? Welcome the knowledge that he would be dead before too long.
“Three weeks.”
Ben skidded to a stop. “What!” That could not be true. Three weeks! He couldn’t die or disappear in three weeks, and considering he’d had no intention of going anywhere again, the former must have happened to him.
He wouldn’t let it happen.
“And ye tell me now!”
Kenzie stood and came over to him. “Please don’t be angry with me. I couldn’t tell you something like that. How could I tell you by the end of May 1605 you’d be gone? When I had no evidence, nothing to even point at to say, ‘here—this is the cause?’ You’d just think I was this crazy woman from the future.”
Ben didn’t reply. The lass made a little bit of sense, but… “I need to know of those things, so I might put in place armed men, increase my guards during both night and day to hold off any such attack. I can have men be aware and listen for any whispers of enemy talk. We’re only weeks away from my supposed death and yer telling me this now.”
He strode toward his horse, the need to get back to the castle, to Alasdair, bearing down on him. Nothing would happen to the lad, nor his home, or the people who took refuge there.
“Dinna follow me, lass,” he said, ignoring Kenzie when she came up and clasped his leg as he tried to slip into the stirrup.
“I’m sorry, Ben. I wasn’t supposed to care so much. I thought that by coming back I could keep myself removed from the people of this time, to not feel anything for what has already passed. But I can’t. And I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before, but how do you tell someone such a thing without causing panic? All of what you’re now feeling.”
“Telling the truth can sometimes hurt, but better to know one’s enemies and not be standing beside them waiting for a dirk in ye back.”
“Ben,” she said, pulling his reins and stopping him from leaving. “Please don’t shut me out.”
“What I want to know, lass, is were ye just going to stand in the keep and watch us all die. What was ye plan? To return to Gwen and Braxton’s before it occurred? I canna look at ye now.”
…
Kenzie blinked away the sting of tears as Ben galloped toward Castle Ross. She looked about and smiled at the few farmers who cast inquisitive glances her way. That they’d noticed her and Ben’s argument was obvious by the uncomfortable looks they gave her in return.
She walked back over to where they had eaten lunch and packed up the small pack of food and drink before going over to where her horse was grazing and putting it into her saddle bag.
Lifting her leg, she managed to get her foot in the stirrup and get up on the saddle. Now, all she had to do was get back to the castle without getting lost. From here, she could just make out the roof of the structure, so she shouldn’t have too much trouble, as long as no one tried to kill her along the way.
Medieval Scotland was a lot different to her own time. As she rode her horse, a placid mare who didn’t like to exert herself too much, Kenzie thought over what Ben had said. That he was angry with her was expected, but she had never given thought to what she would have done if they were attacked when she was here.
Kenzie had just assumed…well she didn’t know what she’d assumed, but it was stupid no matter what it was. She had come back to seventeenth century Scotland to find out what happened at Castle Ross and Ben on that fateful day in May. She would have to be here to see it.
And that in itself put her in danger. Not that she couldn’t get herself out of this time in minutes, but still…
“Returning to the castle are ye, lass? Where’s the laird?”
Kenzie started at the sound of Evan Grant as he pulled up alongside her. He was a big man, tall and as strong as Ben, but where pleasure coursed through her veins when near Ben, with Evan, her blood ran cold.
There was something about the man she did not trust or like. He was as off as food that was left out in the sun too long.
“He had to return before me.”
Evan raised his brow, his gaze traveling over her salaciously. The inspection left her uncomfortable, and she frowned. “What brings you out and about? I didn’t see you helping with the planting today.”
“Was that where you were? Ye do know that ladies do not work in the fields like common farm hands. They’re to breed our children and ensure our meals are hot, as well as our beds.”
Kenzie laughed. It was either that or smack the man over the head with his own caveman club. “I see you think highly of women.”
The oaf didn’t pick up on her sarcasm and merely narrowed his eyes. “Not particularly. Although I do care for my sister and that is where you and I cross swords, in a manner of speaking.”
“Oh. How so?” she asked, knowing her presence here had ruined all their plans. Or maybe it was her presence here that had ruined Ben. She started at the thought. Could it be her that caused his demise?
She wasn’t sure, but with time travel, anything was possible. Perhaps she had returned to this time and was the reason behind Ben’s death by whoever this unknown assailant was.
“Ye are a very fetching young lass, Kenzie. Are ye looking for a husband of ye own? I have not settled down as yet, and ye look the type who’d give me strong sons.”
Kenzie choked on her own shock. She cast Evan a glance. He was deadly serious. Again, a chill raced down her spine, and she was sorry for whoever it was who ended up with him. Something told Kenzie that he would be a hard and possibly cruel husband.
“I’m not interested, sorry. I’ll be returning home soon, in any case.” Kenzie threw a half smile at him, trying to butter her reply, but he didn’t fall for it and scowled.
“Yer too good for me then, is it, lass? Ye can warm the bed of the Laird of Ross, but not the future laird of Clan Grant? ’Tis insulting.”
Kenzie glared at the man. How dare he be so crude and vile?
“It’s also insulting that you’d say such a thing to me. If the Laird of Ross were here, would you be so honest in your opinions on what children I could birth you and how well I’d warm your bed?”
“’Twould be wise of ye to consider my offer. I think ye shall find that the laird and my sister will form an attachment, at some point, mayhap not as strong as the one between Ben and Aline, God rest her soul, but strong enough to tie the two families together once more. ’Tis only right that we have a voice in the upbringing of Alasdair.”
His words gave Kenzie pause. “I thought that was why you were here now. To renew your friendship and blood ties without marriage. You’ve certainly not mentioned this desire to the laird as yet and you’ve been here some weeks now. Or is there a different reason for your stay at Castle Ross?”
To kill the laird when opportunity strikes?
“Nay, you’re right, and we’d be sorely disappointed should someone come between our plans. Athol will take Aline’s place, and you shall leave or marry me with very little fuss.”
Kenzie’s temper snapped. “Oh, I’m leaving soon enough, but I won’t be marrying you, Evan Grant. I don’t think we’d suit at all.” If the man wanted a woman who’d cook, clean, and practically wipe his ass, she was most definitely not the woman for him.
“’Twould also be welcome if ye let Athol and Laird Ross spend some time with each other, without you as a distraction. I know the laird has taken a liking to ye, but if ye think you’re any different from the many other whores who’ve graced his bed, ye are fooling yourself.”
Jealousy coursed through her veins. Jealousy that was misplaced, since this thing, whatever this thing was between her and Ben was only short term. And damn the man, but he was right. Had she not come here, not just to this time, but to Castle Ross, Ben may have fallen for Athol, and they may have made some sort of future together.
Maybe it was her being here that killed him.
The thought filled her with dread, and she fought not to be sick. What have I done?
They arrived back at the castle together, not without a few odd looks from the guards at the gate or those who patrolled the battlements. Kenzie dismounted quickly and went inside to seek out Ben. She had to talk to him, make him forgive her, talk to her about what they could do to keep him alive. She hated the fact that he was angry with her.
But in all truth, she deserved it. She’d let him down.
Kenzie checked the solar but found it empty, along with the great hall. She took the stairs as quickly as she could, some of them not as high as the others, which made going up at a fast pace awkward.
The door to her room stood open, and walking past, Kenzie spied her maid sitting in the chair before the fire, mending the hem of the dress she’d managed to step on the day before.
Coming up to Ben’s quarters, she knocked once, twice on the double wooden doors but heard no welcome response. Peeking inside she frowned when this room was empty also. Where was he?
The thought that maybe he’d not returned or had been hurt on his way back here had her turning and running down the corridor only to slam into a wall of muscle as she reached the top stairs step.
“Oomph,” she said, reaching out to steady herself on his chest. He was a step or so below her and Ben was still as tall.
“What are ye running from, lass? Ye could’ve fallen and hurt yourself.”
The chastisement after their earlier fight did nothing to lessen the panic clawing at her conscience. For the few weeks that they’d been here together, living as she would suspect a husband and wife would, she’d grown to care for this wonderful medieval man.
Never did she wish anything to happen to him. Once, he may have just been an image in a painting she’d wondered about. Who was he? Was he ever happy? What was his life like? What happened to him? But now? Now, the thought that he was only weeks from death left her raw and reeling.
She loved him.
“I’m looking for you. When I couldn’t find you in your room, or anywhere in the castle, I worried that you’d been attacked on the road back to the castle.”
He ran a hand through his ebony hair, leaving it standing on end. “I was looking for you, lass. I shouldn’t have left ye on yer own. I left ye unprotected and I’m sorry for it.”
Kenzie sighed. “We need to talk. Let’s go to your room.”
Ben nodded and strode up the passage, Kenzie beside him. How was it possible that just being beside him, feeling his strength and power, left her breathless and set her heart to pound? Ben was no longer “just a little fun” while she was visiting the past. In the short time she’d known him, he’d become one of the most important people in her life.
They entered his chamber and the key in the lock clicked loudly. Kenzie stood before the fire, wanting its warmth just in case what Ben was going to say left her cold.
“I was angry with ye. Actually,” he said with a thinning of his lips, “I’m still angry with ye. I want to know why ye came back to my time? What did ye expect to achieve?”
Kenzie swallowed, choosing her words carefully. “I wanted to meet Gwen and Braxton, as you know. But I also wanted to meet you, if possible. I wanted to see Castle Ross, what it was like and how it worked before hundreds of years took its toll on the building.”
“Not to mention a fire, if what ye say is true.”
“Yes, that’s right. In my time, Castle Ross is a ruin.” Kenzie sat on the chair, folding her hands in her lap. “Ben, no one knows what happens to you or who did it. Originally, I came back to find out who it was, to solve the mystery that has haunted my family for generations. No one would believe me if I returned home with all the facts pertaining to your death and the destruction of this castle, but I had to know for myself. Maybe with research I could’ve solved your murder.”
“And now?” He stood by the door, having not moved. His gaze was hard, hurt, and she hated that she’d done that to him.
“Now, I want to stop it from happening. The last thing I ever wished is for you to be hurt. For something to happen to Alasdair or your home you love so much. I didn’t think.” She swallowed, trying to find words. To voice her thoughts and feelings, some of which she’d never thought to say aloud.
“What. Didn’t think what, lass?” His voice washed over her, commanding, but with a thread of need, of wanting to know what she thought.
“I never thought that I’d fall in love with you.” Kenzie met his gaze. Never had she been so exposed. Her heart was before a pointy dagger and Ben could either remove the threat, save her, or pierce her stone dead.
What will he do?
…
Ben had never thought to hear such words uttered to him. Aline certainly had never loved him, although they’d cared for each other a great deal. It was never this soul consuming joy that coursed through him at her words.
Once, he’d thought such emotions only made a man weak, soft even, but not anymore. Having the love from such a strong-willed, intelligent, kind woman only made a man even more strong. “Come here, lass.”
She all but ran across the room and threw herself into his arms. Having her against his chest was right, exactly where she should be. Ben breathed deep the scent of roses that wafted from her hair, kissing her temple.
“I’m sorry, lass.”
She pulled back, the soft pad of her finger against his lips stopping his words. “No. I’m sorry. I should’ve been honest from the day we met, even if saying such a thing would be hard to hear. And there is something else that I’ve thought of that worries me, Ben.”
He smoothed out the frown between her brows. “What else, Kenzie.”
“There hasn’t been any threat, and I’m worried that my being here has perhaps changed the course of that threat. Late May is when it happens, but what if it happens tomorrow? You’re not prepared when you could’ve been. Maybe my being here is the reason you’re killed. What if my coming back is actually what sparks your demise?”
Tears welled in her eyes and he pulled her against him, hating the pain in her eyes. “Lass, you’re thinking too much, reading and worrying about things that are not in our control. If God almighty has me marked for a date late in May to meet him, then that is what will happen, and nothing ye say or do will alter that.”
“We have to alter it. I cannot lose you.”
Ben paused at her words, rocking her a little. “Kenzie, you’re going to lose me either way. You’re not staying.”
She stilled in his arms, as if his words brought her back to sense. “I don’t want to go back.”
Her words, muffled against his shirt were almost inaudible, but he heard them as if they were shouted across the room. “This isn’t ye time, nor do I wish it to be. As much as I care for ye, want ye to stay. I’ll not allow it. The world in which ye come from sounds as magical as you are. A place where ’tis easier to live, a place where ye have family and friends waiting for ye. Here ye have a man that loves ye as much as I fear you love him, but nothing else. ’Tis not enough.”
Kenzie looked up at him, her eyes wide and as emerald as the grass on the Highland mountains. “You love me, too?”
Och, he loved her. Would miss her to the day he died with a fierceness beyond anything he’d ever known. How he would go on once she left was anyone’s guess, and he would forever wonder if she’d return. Come and see him again. If he survived the attack in May that was due to happen. If history was indeed set in stone.
“Aye, I love ye. Too much to put into words.”
“How will I live without you? I don’t want to.” A tear dropped down her cheek and he wiped it away with his thumb, cupping her face to look at him.
“’Tis a burden we’ll both bear.”
…
He kissed her then and Kenzie was lost. To be in his arms was where she belonged, and she couldn’t face not living in a world where he did not. He was everything to her, and she couldn’t lose him now. Not after she’d just found him.
Coming back to seventeenth century Scotland was not where she’d expected to find love. Nor had she been looking for it. She was young, she had a business to run, and a huge renovation project to look after. She had not thought that falling in love with a medieval Highlander would make her question her life, what was important to her. But Ben did that.
He made her question everything.
Ben stripped her of her gown and chuckled when he spied her trews hidden underneath. He picked her up and carried her to the bed, laying her down. He pulled off her leather boots, untied the cord holding her trews in place, and drew them off, throwing them onto the floor to the growing pile of clothing.
Kenzie watched as he untied his sporran and kilt, those, too, falling to the floor with a swish. She sat up, pulling off her shirt and the light shift beneath, exposing herself to him. The breath in her lungs expelled when he did the same, the corded muscles on his abdomen flexing with each movement. He was so strong, a magnificent Highland warrior, and he was all hers.
Ben crawled up the bed and came to lay over her, hoisting her legs to sit about his waist. “I canna wait to have ye lass. Say you’ll let me have ye now.”
She nodded, heat pooling at her core as he undulated and teased her flesh. She wouldn’t deny him a thing.
Kenzie moaned as he slid into her, deep and sure. He filled her, made love to her with sweet, endless strokes that drove her to distraction. A perfect combination of pleasure and torture—much like their relationship.
Kenzie woke the following morning warm and snuggled under a multitude of animal furs, less the man she wanted to be beside. Somehow, she’d also managed to get back to her room. A small smile lifted her lips at the thought of Ben carrying her, trying not to be seen at the break of dawn.
The sound of wood being thrown onto the fire had her looking toward the mantle where she spied her maid, busy preparing the room for her. Kenzie sat up and stretched. “May I have a bath sent up this morning?”
The maid dipped into a curtsy. “Of course, m’lady. I’ll have one prepared straight away.”
Kenzie watched her go, not for the first time wondering what would happen to the people who lived here. Where did they go when Castle Ross came under siege from the unknown assailant? Were they killed, driven off without the protection of a laird? Enslaved?
A little while later, the maid returned along with some male servants who set about pouring her bath with a multitude of buckets. Kenzie sat before the fire and asked one of the female servants to sit with her. The poor girl worked her hands in her lap, and Kenzie smiled, trying to calm her nerves.
“May I ask your name?”
“Of course, my name’s Beth, m’lady.”
“And Beth, do you like working here?” The woman’s eyes widened before she nodded.
“Aye, I do m’lady. I was the late mistress’ lady’s maid prior to her death, may she rest in peace. I’m a Ross myself, although many times removed from the laird. But this is my home, and I feel safe here.” The woman paused. “Am I in trouble, m’lady?”
“No,” Kenzie said, not wanting to scare the girl. “Not at all, but there is something that I need you to do over the next week, if possible.”
“Of course. Anything.”
Kenzie took a deep breath. “I need you to give me a list of all the families with children that reside under the care of Castle Ross. And I need to meet with them, not at the same time, but in groups, if possible.”
“Are they in trouble miss?”
“No, they’re not, and that’s exactly how I want it to stay.”
…
Kenzie was up to something. Ben stood at the battlements and for the fourth time that week he’d watched the woman, whom he’d die to protect, who he adored as much as his son, stride from the castle walls toward the small fishing village beyond his gates, her maid Beth, religiously in tow.
He shook his head, smiling a little at their business as Bruce came to stand beside him. “So, yer lass if off again on her mission.”
“Aye, and before ye ask me what she’s about, I do not know. I’d hoped she’d tell me when she was ready, but she has not.”
“Yer being very trusting. Are ye not the least bit curious what her and Beth are up to each day?”
Ben was more curious than he’d ever thought possible, but he wanted her to tell him when she was ready. But now, after four days, it was time he found out just what his lass was up to.
“Did ye know that she’s been visiting not just the villages, but the people that live just outside the walls? Talking to them about hygiene and food preparation. What in the name of all things holy is hygiene anyways?”
Ben grinned. “Nay, I have no idea.” But the thought that Kenzie was trying to make the people who lived at Castle Ross better left him prouder than he’d ever thought possible.
How he loved her. She was such a capable, independent woman. There was much to admire.
“I’m sure she’s just trying to help, and mayhap if ye listened to her you may learn a thing or two.
Bruce scoffed. “I know all there is to know about life. I dinna need any lessons from a woman.”
Ben turned at the sound of the laird of Clan Grant and his son Evan arguing in the keep below. He leaned against the battlement and watched. The lad Evan was hot-headed and too quick to wield a sword. The laird, although no more trustworthy, at least thought on matters before acting on half-truths or slurs.
“Did ye know that Evan Grant asked Kenzie to be his wife? Confronted the lass on the way back from ye planting the other day.”
A cold, thundering rage stormed through him. Evan Grant had asked her to be his wife? He would kill the man for acting so presumptuously. Kenzie was his and no one else’s. He should never have left her alone that day. Anything could’ve happened to her. She could’ve been killed, raped, kidnapped. The list was endless. He ought to be horsewhipped for allowing his temper to get the better of him.
“Ye aren’t allowed to kill the Grant lad, Laird. ’Twould start a war that we’re little prepared for.”
Which was another thing that lay at Ben’s feet. Had he not gone off whoring, drinking himself into a stupor for the months after Aline’s death, his clansmen would be better prepared for any attack they may come up against. And most importantly, the one that was to take place in May.
He frowned, wondering if Kenzie’s frenzied discussions with his people had anything to do with what history had coming for him. Was she trying to save them all?
“I have no intention of starting trouble with the Grant clan. They are my son’s family, after all, but I will not allow Evan Grant to think he can even touch one hair on Kenzie’s body. She’s mine and no others.”
Bruce turned to him, clapping him on his shoulder. “I like Kenzie and I think she’ll do well as ye lady. When are ye going to ask her to be ye bride?”
That he couldn’t marry the lass left Ben empty inside. He’d promised himself that he would never marry again. Never put another at risk by having his children. The past weeks he’d been sleeping with Kenzie they had been careful, and he’d had the town healer send up a portion of wild carrot to mix with her tea to stop any unnecessary complications, but still… The image of Kenzie heavy with his child, Alasdair on her hip, was a picture he’d kill to see. The realization struck him like a blow, and he fisted his hands, leaning over the battlements to regain his mind.
She was too young to die. He wouldn’t ask her to marry him, no matter how much he longed to spend the rest of his life with the lass. Kenzie had made her plans perfectly clear from the start. She would return home, but if they were able to enjoy each other’s company in the meantime, so be it.
“Kenzie is not like other women and dinna wish to marry just as I dinna want another wife. We’re enjoying each other and nothing else. But I still do not appreciate Evan Grant pressing his desire for the lass onto her. I’ll not have it.”
“Ye must speak to him, for I do believe he’s quite determined.”
Ben frowned. “Tonight, after the evening meal, I wish to discuss a matter with ye, but in private.”
“Should I be on guard? What is it about?”
Bruce threw him a concerned glance and Ben shook his head to dispel the clansman’s worry. “Nay, not yet, at least, but bring with ye an open mind, for what you’re about to hear may be a little unbelievable.”
“Aye, of course, my Laird.”
…
Ben knocked on Kenzie’s door and hearing no reply opened it, finding the room empty. He went in and shut the door, sitting on the end of her bed to wait her return. The room smelled of roses. Seeing the fire starting to wane, he threw a couple of logs and a peat block onto it.
The door swung open, and Kenzie breezed into the room like a wave of fresh, springtime air. A grin quirked his lips at seeing her before she shut the door, bolting it.
“What a delightful surprise. Have you come to sweep me up in your arms and make reckless love to me?”
If only he could, but that would have to wait. “Nay, not yet, but come here. I need ye.”
She went willingly into his arms, and he breathed deep her scent. He sat his chin on top of her head, pulling her close. “What have ye been doing all day, lass? The last time I saw ye you were heading into the village.”
Kenzie pulled out of his arms and he missed her immediately. Untying her cloak, she wouldn’t meet his eyes as she laid the garment over the one chair that sat before the now roaring fire.
“I wasn’t up to anything bad if that’s what you are asking. I just went for a walk. With my maid.”
“Hmm,” he said, wondering why she didn’t want to tell him what she was really up to? Did she think he would stop her from continuing her plan that she was on? “Kenzie, look at me.” Reluctantly, she did. “What are ye doing, love?”
She sighed. “I’ve been trying to prepare the village, your people, should anything happen to you. Not that I’ve been coming out and saying their laird is under threat and could possibly be hurt in the next month, but just a little bit on how they can go to Gwen and Braxton, or even Laird Macleod for help. To think about where they ought to go should the town come under attack or where they could hide in the house. Building a cellar or something similar, to keep the children safe.”
Ben rubbed his jaw. “When the castle goes under attack, not that I think any such thing will happen in the foreseeable future, the women and children are always sent for the hills to hide within the forest. They know to wait for it to be safe before returning. The men help fight. The town—this castle and Clan Ross will stand for many years to come. There has been no sign of threat from anywhere and I’ve increased the guards and lookouts. If there are any coming, we’ll be ready for them.”
“What if they’re already here, Ben?” She kneeled before him.
“’Tis not Clan Grant.”
“But what if it is? What if they want all of this for your son, but not you. If they remove you, they have all of this until Alasdair comes of age.” She paused, biting her lip, and he clasped her cheek, making her look at him.
“What are ye thinking now in that brilliant mind of yers?”
“I hope, I do—with all my heart—that I’m wrong and no threat knocks on your door. I hope that my arrival here has skewed history in some way, stopped what happened to you. But if not, you need to be ready and willing to see that perhaps the threat is already close and that’s why you’ve not heard anything from your guards.”
Ben watched the flame lick the wood. Could Kenzie be right? Could Clan Grant want Castle Ross for themselves, or at least the fertile land and his cattle? But why… “It makes no sense for Clan Grant to want me dead. I’m an ally, related by my son and have done nothing to them to raise their ire. If they’re in trouble I would help, and I would expect the same help in return. We are family.”
“You seduced the laird’s daughter, ran off with her, and married her without so much as a care toward her father to see if it was okay. Maybe the laird has calmed down after all these years, but Evan Grant seems pissed off with you most of the time. That’s not normal, surely.”
What Kenzie said was true and could be a reason to prepare for an attack from within the walls. Kenzie had told him that Castle Ross was burned to the ground after the attack. He would be a simpleton should he ignore anything that she suggested. The lass was educated, certainly a very smart woman, and with her help, mayhap he could outsmart the villain. “Nay, ’tis not normal, but Even Grant has never cared for others, so to take offense over anything that he says would be of no help. But I shall speak to Bruce, tell him of my concerns and put in place the appropriate measures to keep those within the castle walls safe.”
Kenzie’s shoulders slumped in relief, and she leaned between his legs and cuddled him. “Thank you for listening to me. I hope what I’m worried about never comes to pass, but I think we need to do all we can to help the people under your care, your son, and yourself safe, should history prove to be true.”
Ben rubbed her back and they clutched each other for a short time, the crackling of the fire the only sound in the room. “Ye didn’t tell me that Evan Grant asked ye to be his wife.”
…
Kenzie smiled against Ben’s chest and pulled back a little to look up at him. “You weren’t talking to me at the time, so no, I did not.”
He cringed. “Again, lass, I’m sorry for my temper. ’Twas just what ye said was not what I expected to hear.”
The thought of marrying the too-proud-arrogant-ass that was Even Grant made her stomach roil. “He asked me, and I said no. I’m not going to be his brood mare.” But of late Kenzie had been wondering what it would be like to be Ben’s lover forever, to marry him and possibly have his children, a little brother or sister for Alasdair.
“I think ye should leave before the allocated time that ye say the castle falls. To be certain that no matter what happens, whatever the future has set in stone for me dinna affect you, threaten yer safety and life.”
Kenzie started at his words. “I can’t go back before that time. I won’t do it, Ben. If I can be of any help here, even if it’s to protect little Alasdair, I will. Should I return home and the battle does take place and I did not stay until the end—to try and stop whatever happened to you, I would never forgive myself.” Pain clawed at her stomach, and she fought for breath. To leave Ben and never see him again hurt more than she’d ever thought possible.
“I can’t go, Ben.”
“Ye have to go,” he said, sitting up, pinning her with a hard gaze. “I will summon Gwendolyn if ye do not go back of your own volition. This time is not safe, and if what ye say is true, if what is going to happen here in under a sennight, then ye must leave.”
“I can’t,” she repeated, shaking her head.
“Why not?”
Kenzie swallowed. “I’ve fallen in love with you, and to lose you not to just time but death itself, to know you didn’t go on and have a long and fruitful life would be too hard to bear. Please don’t make me leave.”
She straddled Ben’s lap. “Somehow, in my madcap adventure to see medieval Scotland and the famous Black Ben, I’ve found my soulmate. I never meant for any of this to happen. In my time, I’m a successful business woman. I’m not looking for a long-term relationship. But for you, I’d give up all of that, even if it’s only to ensure you stay alive in this time and safe.”
Ben clasped her cheeks, shaking her a little. “Ye cannot stay, no matter how much I love ye in return. You deserve to live in freedom and enjoy the wonders of yer time. Not here, where every day is a gift, or any day someone could come storming the keep and threaten all that you hold dear.”
“And yet, it changes nothing, because I’m staying. And should you summon Gwen I will simply tell her what you’ve told me, and she’ll not make me go back.”
“But ye family, lass. Yer mother will be devastated, should ye not return.”
Kenzie had thought about that, and maybe she could return home just to let her mama know. To say her goodbyes and leave all her properties to the current Laird MacLeod. “As much as I love my mama, and will miss her, she’s not my future. You’re my future. I want to stay here with you. Marry you, if you’ll have me.”
His silence was deafening, and Kenzie had the awful thought that his feelings were not as strong as her own. Love came in many forms. Maybe he saw her only as a little fun between the sheets? Heat infused her face, and she scuttled off his lap when he refused to answer her.
“I do not wish to marry again, lass. I know ye have ye own protection against increasing with a babe, and had ye not had such security, I would never have touched ye. I dinna need another heir. I have Alasdair. And I canna watch another woman I care about die simply to give me heirs. I will not do it.”
Kenzie pulled a woolen shawl about her shoulders, the chill from the stone floor making her feet sting. “We don’t have to have children, Ben.” As much as she loved children, she’d be fine should she not have any. Alasdair was a sweet little boy and would soothe any pain she might have of not having her own children. You didn’t have to be a biological parent to a child to be its mother. To care and love it with all that you are.
“Mistakes happen and with such, your life could be put at risk.”
“My life is at risk, anyway. Every day you could die. Nothing is fail proof. You cannot wrap everyone in cotton wool to keep them from living. You did not kill Aline. She died in childbirth. An unfortunate and sad fact of life women are very aware of when they wish for a child. But we do it anyway, because, of course you do. There is no other choice.”
Ben rose from the bed and joined her before the hearth. Taking her hands, he stared at her and nothing in his features gave away what he was thinking.
What is he thinking? “I’m sorry, lass. I canna marry you.”
He dropped her hands and walked to the door and Kenzie stared after him, unable to comprehend what had just happened. “Pushing me away will not keep me safe, Ben.”
His stride never faulted as he ripped open the door and continued down the hall. Kenzie shut the door behind him and frowned. This would never do and if he thought he could be rid of her so easily he had another thing coming. Love was worth fighting for, and no matter his dislike of the marriage act, in her heart, Kenzie was secure in what he felt for her.
She was not wrong.