Shad was dreading the shower—if it was anything like that damn emotional stream room it would be hard to bear. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d allowed himself to cry—it simply wasn’t something he did easily.
Through all the attempts he’d made to keep Harper alive and get her changed so the Hive couldn’t use her and all the times he’d lost her, he had gone past the stages of grief that called for weeping. Instead, he had sunk into a kind of despair, though he was doggedly determined not to quit until he had either accomplished his mission or the looper in his arm lost all power.
Now that they had gone further on this new path than they’d gotten on any of the others, he began to feel an emotion that was almost alien—hope. But hope for what? For changing the future, yes. But any change they made would mean losing each other.
I’ll find her, though, Shad told himself. The minute I get back to my own time, I’ll find her.
Though he wasn’t exactly sure what age he would be when he did return. Would he go back to the very point in time when the Mother Ship was first blown up by the Hive? Or would he return to a later time and be the age he was now but with everything changed around him?
He had no answers and before he could ponder further, they finally came to the shower, which was housed in a large, glassed-in area studded with multiple water jets.
As it turned out, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the emotion sauna—if you didn’t mind icy cold water spraying you from all directions, that was.
“Oh! Ah!” Harper gasped, dancing from foot to foot in the freezing jets that pummeled them from all directions. “Does it have to be this cold?”
“The last vestiges of impurity must be washed from you before you enter the Cleansing Waters,” the bathing attendant intoned.
Shad wondered what in the Seven Hells the Cleansing Waters were for if they were supposedly already clean by the time they got to them. But before he could ask, the attendant finally turned off the jets and they were able to step out of the large, glassed-in stall they had been in.
“Please dry yourselves thoroughly.” The attendant gave them deep crimson towels which sucked thirstily at the moisture on their skin.
Shad recognized them as another kind of semi-sentient creature which lived off the water droplets it could glean from the skin of its hosts, but he chose not to say anything to Harper about it. She was still getting used to her cloak of thorns and her humlock—she didn’t need another living thing to care for.
At last, when they were perfectly dry, the attendant led them down a short, narrow corridor which opened out into a vast, echoing space, almost as big as the Docking Bay of the Mother Ship.
“Wow,” Harper breathed beside him and Shad couldn’t help but share her awe.
The Cleansing Pool was much bigger than any pool he had ever heard of or seen before. It filled the cavernous hall like a vast, underground lake but its size wasn’t the only noteworthy thing about it.
“Every color—it’s got every color I’ve ever seen in it and some I don’t even have a name for,” Harper murmured. “It looks like someone took the big box of crayons and melted it down layer by layer.”
To Shad it looked somewhat ominous, shading as it did from white and pale yellow at the end closest to them to indigo blue and coal black at the far end. The layers in the middle of the pool were all shades in between, as though someone had straightened out a rainbow and laid it in orderly rows that stretched on almost forever.
“How deep does it get?” he asked the bathing attendant. “Is it water or something thicker? Can you swim in it?”
“These are the Cleansing Waters—sometimes also called the Cleansing Slime,” the attendant replied, somewhat ambiguously. “A supplicant who wishes to see the Goddess must wade through it’s layers, stripping away the very last of his or her impurities, leaving him or her in their purest form for the pleasure of She Who Alters.”
“Wait—Cleansing Slime?” Harper objected. “That’s awful. And I thought we already got rid of all our impurities. You just said that freezing cold shower we took would get rid of the last of them, didn’t you?”
She didn’t look too happy about the idea of wading through the vast, multicolored pool and to be honest, Shad wasn’t very happy to let her do it. He didn’t like the idea of Harper submerged in such a substance and he also didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t see below the multicolored surface to see if anything might be lurking in its lurid depths.
“You have stripped away your outer pollutants,” the attendant corrected her. “The cleansing pool will refine you further and cleanse you completely before you go into the light of She Who Alters. It will also bring your true intentions to the surface so that the Goddess may read you more easily and change what needs to be changed.”
“Will…will it hurt?” Harper asked.
“Some have complained that it stings or burns the skin.” The attendant spoke casually, as though this was no big deal. “But others feel hardly any pain. It depends on how impure you are to start with.”
Now Harper really looked unhappy.
“So it’s a skin irritant and you want me to wade in there naked? Can I at least have some kind of a swim suit or something?”
“Forgive me, Empress, but we are all naked before the Goddess,” the attendant said primly. “I am afraid you will not be welcomed into her presence until after your skin is coated in the cleansing slime and your true intentions are brought to the surface. She Who Alters cannot help you otherwise.”
“Fine,” Shad growled. “But if my Empress goes into that multicolored slime pool, I’m going with her.”
But this time the bathing attendant was absolutely adamant.
“No—I am sorry.” She shook her head firmly. “I know you were permitted to go into the sauna and the shower with your mistress but it is absolutely against the rules for anyone but the supplicant to the Goddess to enter the Cleansing Slime.”
Shad tried reminding her again how much they had paid and Harper pointed out that the attendant had been told they should be given whatever they wanted but this was apparently the place where the owlish attendant drew the line.
“You don’t understand,” she said, peering earnestly at Harper with her wide, unblinking yellow eyes. “Allowing a non-supplicant into the Cleansing Pool might cloud the understanding of She Who Alters and interfere in the altering process.”
Shad frowned. “How can you be sure of that? Has it happened before?”
“Well, not in my lifetime but—” the attendant began but Harper interrupted her.
“It’s all right, I can do it alone.” She stopped Shad with a look when he started to protest. “It’s okay, Shad. I’m a big girl—I can wade across a pool of melted crayon slime by myself.”
“You don’t know what might be in there,” Shad pointed out, scowling. “Or what might happen. This is a huge pool, Harper. I don’t like the idea of you going in alone.”
“Well, it doesn’t seem like we have much choice.” She sighed. “It’s okay—you can walk along the side of the pool as I wade through it. We’ll get to the other side at the same time.”
Shad tried to change her mind—he wanted to call the social secretary and challenge the rules, which seemed to be extremely arbitrary to him. But he could tell he wasn’t getting through. The bathing attendant wouldn’t budge and Harper just wanted to get this over with.
At last, he grudgingly agreed to her plan that he would walk along the side of the pool while she waded through the multicolored muck. But he swore to himself he would keep a close eye on her.
They had come too far for him to let down his guard now.
* * * * *
Harper sighed in relief when the big Kindred finally agreed to let her wade through the Cleansing Slime by herself. Not that she wanted to go alone into the melted-crayon-looking muck but it was time to move forward and get this over with, she told herself. It was hard enough to get her courage up to go into the strange pool in the first place without having to keep herself geared up for it indefinitely.
It won’t be so bad once I get in, she thought, hoping she was right. It’s probably nice and warm. Or warmer than the shower, anyway, she hoped. She would die of hypothermia if she had to wade through the huge pool and the slime was as icy as the needle sharp spray they’d just been pelted with.
“You never told me how deep it is,” she reminded the bathing attendant who was waiting on the steps which led down to the vast pool.
“It is never deeper than you can tread, my Empress.” The attendant bowed her head and swept an arm towards the pool. “Behold—it is your way to She Who Alters. Once you have passed through the slime and reached the other side, you will be instantly transported into the presence of the Goddess.”
“Okay,” Harper said uncomfortably. “And that’s where I ask her to change me?”
“It is unnecessary to make any request out loud. She Who Alters will divine your needs the moment you are in her presence and will alter the one thing about you which needs most to be fixed,” the attendant explained.
“She will? How will I know she’s done it?” Harper asked.
“You will feel her power within you.” The bathing attendant got an almost rapturous expression on her round face. “It is immense and all-encompassing. It is a good thing she can see your problem without need for your explanation, as you will be struck dumb by her glory,” she added helpfully.
“Um…okay,” Harper nodded.
I guess that’s why it’s so important to fulfill all physical needs and strip away all the unnecessary stuff before you see her, she thought. If you don’t even get to ask for what you want.
“And what happens after the, uh, Goddess alters me?” she asked.
“Then she will send you back to where you belong. Do not worry—your clothing and items of value will be sent with you,” the attendant added quickly, as though she got asked this question a lot.
“All right. Thank you.” Harper nodded but she was still uncertain. She assumed that She Who Alters would send her directly back to the golden space yacht since that was where she belonged. But would she even get there? Wouldn’t she be transported back to the beach on Earth with no memory of Shad or her adventures with him the minute she was no longer a ten’sora and the past was altered? She wished she knew for sure. But since there was no way to be certain of anything, all she could do was get started.
Still, if she was going to be transported immediately into the presence of She Who Alters the minute she reached the deep end (or would that be the dark end?) of the pool, and from there most probably back to the beach where all this had started, it meant this was the end of her adventure.
Which meant…
She looked at Shad. “I…I guess it’s time to say, uh, goodbye.” The words stuck in her throat but somehow she forced them out.
“Kallana…” He took her in his arms but what more was there to say that hadn’t been said in the steam room?
“I love you,” Harper whispered, clinging fiercely to him, her bare breasts pressed against his hard chest, her arms around his neck as she stood on tiptoe to reach him.
“I’ll find you,” he muttered hoarsely into her neck. “I swear by the Mother of All Life, I will find you, Harper. No matter how long it takes.”
Harper wished she could promise to wait for him but if she had no memory of him after they reached the end of the loop, how could she? Instead she kissed him passionately with tears in her eyes and pressed herself against him, wishing this moment never had to end.
Eventually, though, the bathing attendant cleared her throat tactfully.
“Forgive me, Empress, but the Cleansing Slime is ready to receive you now.”
They clung together a moment longer and then, reluctantly, Harper untwined her arms from around the big Kindred’s neck. She could almost feel him struggling internally with himself but finally, Shad let her go.
“Be well, Harper. Until we meet again,” he said, almost formally.
“I’m not gone yet,” she reminded him. “You still have to walk beside me, on the side of the pool while I wade through the slime.”
“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” he promised.
“I know you will.”
Blinking back the tears which made her eyes blur and her throat tight, Harper turned back to the owlish bathing attendant.
“All right,” she said thickly. “I…I’m ready.”
“Very good.” The bathing attendant nodded. “Then proceed down the steps and into the Cleansing Slime, Empress. A word of caution, however…” She held up a long, skinny finger which seemed to have too many joints to make her point. “You must go straight down the center of the pool. Do not allow your feet to leave the path or The Watchers will be most upset.”
“The Watchers?” Harper asked. “Who are they? And what path? How am I supposed to see a path through all that?” She gestured at the vast pool filled with opaque bands of color in graduating shades. It really did look like someone had melted down crayons of every color to fill the pool.
“The path is easy to find—it is smooth while the rest of the bottom of the Cleansing Pool is rough,” the bathing attendant told her. Your feet will find the way and as long as you stay on the smooth path directly through the center of the pool, you need not worry about The Watchers.”
“She shouldn’t have to worry about them? What does that mean? What are they?” Shad demanded. His voice was a low, protective growl and Harper could see that if she didn’t get started, they were going to have an argument with the bathing attendant about exactly what she meant and who the unseen Watchers were.
Part of her wanted to seize this opportunity to delay and procrastinate. To put off the inevitable moment of ending and leave-taking. But she didn’t think she had the courage to go through the emotional ringer she’d just been through with Shad again.
So without waiting for any further words, she went down the steps and put her foot into the multicolored slime.
It wasn’t bad—wasn’t cold at least, Harper thought as she stepped into the white and pale yellow slime up to her ankles. She felt with her toes before she went any further, making certain she could tell where the path the attendant had spoken of was.
Sure enough, it was right in front of her, about a foot wide on either side and as slippery as glass—she would have to be careful. When she felt cautiously with her toes, she found that the smooth glass-like surface became bumpy and rough—like sandpaper—on either side of the path. So that was the part to avoid—well, she could do that easily enough.
Taking a deep breath, Harper stepped forward and began wading deeper into the slime.
As she walked, she saw Shad pacing alongside her, walking at the edge of the pool. He said nothing but his opalescent eyes were trained anxiously on her. Clearly he was still worried for her safety.
Harper gave him the thumbs up sign to let him know she was all right. The pool was so wide that it was too far to talk to him unless she shouted and she didn’t like the idea of her words echoing in this vast place.
She looked down as she walked, watching the trail she made in the slime that marked her progress. Behind her the bands of orderly, horizontal color resumed their straight lines almost as soon as she had passed.
The slime was neither hot nor cold but exactly the same temperature as her body. For some reason, this was a disconcerting sensation—it seemed to make it harder to feel the positions of her hands and feet, especially as the slime got deeper, which it did gradually but steadily. Still, Harper told herself, it was better than if the stuff had been freezing cold or boiling hot.
You’ll be fine—you can do this, she thought, giving herself a little mental pep talk. Anyway, who cares what temperature the stuff is? What did you expect anyway—it’s freaking slime.
By the time she had traversed the first half of the pool, the pale, pastel colors at the shallow end had been replaced by vivid jewel tones and she was up to her waist in the stuff. She had thought it looked like melted wax and in fact, it felt like wax too, against her skin. That was good because it wasn’t quite as slimy as she’d feared but it was still very heavy and thick—the farther she walked, the more difficult movement became. Every step was like moving through glue.
The consistency of the multicolored slime made Harper think uneasily of the LaBrea Tar Pits, which she’d visited once as a child on a family trip to California. Thousands of Ice Age animals had become stuck in the pits, mostly predators, which were drawn by prey who got mired in the muck and couldn’t get out again.
The pool’s similarity to the tar pits became especially strong as she got closer to the deep end, where the colors became darker and darker until at last, the very end was pitch black. Harper didn’t like the idea of going through that inky blackness, especially as the slime was getting deeper and deeper. Indeed, she was up to her neck and movement was becoming increasingly difficult—almost impossible.
I don’t like this, she thought, struggling to control the panic that nibbled at the edges of her mind as she fought to go forward through the incredibly thick slime. The attendant said it wouldn’t go higher than I could tread but I don’t think that’s right. How am I ever going to get all the way to the deep end without going in over my head?
It didn’t seem possible since with every inch forward she went, the slick bottom of the pool seemed to slope down just a little more. Harper began to get a claustrophobic sensation. The melted wax or slime or whatever it was felt too close around her—too heavy for her to really expand her lungs and get a good, deep breath.
Take it easy, she tried to tell herself. The end is only five or six feet away. You can do this—you’re all right.
But she was on her tiptoes now and the slime was up to her chin and jaw. How could she possibly get to the end?
I’ll have to try and swim, she thought desperately. It’s the only way I can do it and the only other option is going back.
Honestly, that option sounded the most appealing but Harper knew she couldn’t go back now. She couldn’t give up her quest after all the crazy things she’d been through just because she didn’t feel like she could get through five measly feet of slime—it was unacceptable.
Taking a deep breath, she lifted her arms and legs and began to kick and move her arms, just as she would if she was trying to tread water.
Harper was a strong swimmer—she’d lived all her life in Florida, land of a million backyard pools, and her mother had made sure she could swim almost before she could walk. But she found out quickly that the thick, syrupy Cleansing Slime was almost impossible to swim in. She began to tire almost at once from the incredible resistance against her arms and legs—it was like trying to swim through wet cement with weights tied to all her limbs.
But by the time she realized the stuff was too thick to swim in properly, it was too late—she was sinking and this time she really was in over her head.
She kicked frantically, trying to find purchase on the slick bottom with her toes, only to find that the bottom of the pool was now rough and sharp—more like broken glass than sandpaper.
Ouch! Crap—I’m off the path, she thought but at the moment, the path didn’t seem to matter too much because she was almost certain she was going to drown.
“Harper? Harper!” It was Shad, kneeling at the very end of the pool, reaching for her. He must have seen her struggles and come running around from the side, she thought faintly. His white eyes were blazing with concern and Harper was feeling panicked herself. “Grab my hand!” he shouted, reaching for her.
“Shad!” she gasped, lifting an arm above the waxy slime for just a moment, trying to grab his outstretched hand. The crayon colors ran down her skin in colorful drips and swirls but ahead there was only darkness. “Shad, I can’t—”
Just then something seized her by the ankle and yanked her under.