Chapter Two
Jacquie
Have you ever wished you had taken another path? My life has not been anything you would want to write home about. My mother is certifiable, but she is my best friend. Growing up in a God awful trailer park in Road to Nowhere, Illinois, I hated it and had to get out of there. I felt stifled.
Dale Sherwood and I messed around a bit his last two years of high school. But in his last year, I knew something had changed with him over the summer. I was faced with the decision that if I wanted to hold onto him, I was going to have to sleep with him. It would not be my first time because I wasn’t a virgin, but it felt serious to me. Now, don’t get me wrong because getting pregnant was never part of the equation. We used protection. But, on the day of his graduation I got a positive pregnancy test and I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know a damn thing about being a genuine mom. A friend yes, but a mother? No freaking way.
When he offered to marry me if I would keep the baby and he would get me out of the trailer park, I said yes. I didn’t love him and I knew he didn’t love me. He never once said that he did. To tell the truth, no one has ever said that to me besides Kennedy. And I have never once said it back to her, although I do. Until recently. My baby girl is everything to me and somewhere along the way I lost sight of that.
When Dale died a few years later in an accident at work, I found out that I was less than nothing to him. I mean, I knew it, but solid proof hurts. There were hundreds of letters to the girl he was in love with. He wrote one to her every day, but they were never sent to her. I can deal with the fact he didn’t love me, because I used him too and deserved the treatment he gave me.
There was never any sex after we said our vows. We raised our daughter together the best way we could. After his funeral, his mother made it perfectly clear we were unwanted. With no other place to go, I ended up bringing my daughter back to the trailer park and continued raising her as best I could. My mama dialed down the crazy, but it was still there. Of course, it’s shit like that doesn’t just go away.
I was able to get one shitty job after another to keep Kennedy in the best clothes. Because I knew what it was like to be bullied and made fun of for dressing in cheap hand me downs and I wanted Kennedy to be a star. She is a girl who was shy and book smart though.
I on the other hand, brought men around my daughter who had no business being near her. Now, I regret doing that because she thought I was the town slut. But in actuality, I really wasn’t. Every man that she thought was a date, was not. I was doing something for each one of them and it wasn’t anything sexual. Instead, I would do all sorts of odd jobs. Helping with taxes or helping them to decide what to buy their wives. Even the ones I actually went out on a date with, I didn’t have sex with. I knew they weren’t my type and I wanted to avoid any unnecessary heartbreak.
In reality, I have had only two sexual partners. One was my first boyfriend named Billy. He’s a nice guy who has a wife and two kids. He still lives in the trailer park three doors down, but now his family is with him. The other one was my husband, and it was only a couple of times.
I was disgusted with myself, so I know he had to be too because I will never be good enough for any man. Who would want a woman that is crass and opinionated? I have a loud mouth and I have never met a stranger. I tend to do what I want, when I want to do it. Much to the chagrin of my daughter. When Kennedy was younger, I had purpose. I needed to hustle to make sure my baby had a good life and a good childhood, unlike mine.
My father bounced before I was born. Stepfather # 1 had a thing for the neighbor, so he was gone pretty quickly. Stepfather # 2 had a closeted latex fetish, so he was out. Surprisingly, my mother is very straight-laced despite her stretching of the truth. Stepfather # 3, Terry was a great man and he is who I consider my dad. He passed away six years ago. Stepfather # 4 is a dick. He is mean to my mom and she just takes it. Personally, I’d kick his ass. He is a bit unbearable, so when Kennedy got a call from her grandfather’s girlfriend, I knew I had to go with her.
I got on the bus and made the ten-hour journey with her, while feeling her disdain for me the entire way. It was then that I decided I needed to change my ways with her, but it is hard to erase twenty-two years of being one way.
After we got to the bus station in Moosehead and I could see the instant attraction between her, and her now husband Sterling. My granddaughters Isabella and Reagan were born in November and are now six months old rolling over experts. They bring me constant joy. I am happy my daughter married the love of her life, but I am a little jealous too. While I have known the joy of motherhood, I didn’t have the love of a man to balance me.
Once my daughter and I had it out before she got married, things are much better between us. We now talk every day and see each other almost as much.
Moosehead is a quaint town and the cabin I live in is cozy as fuck. It’s out in the forest and about a mile from Sterling and Kennedy. His company built the cabin to my specifications as long as I paid for the materials. It was a very good deal for me. It’s the first time I’ve owned anything for myself. I am insanely proud of it and the decor matches me perfectly, if not a little lonely.
Once I moved into my new house, I decided to return to my natural hair color. I change from a platinum blonde back to the shiny brown I had when I was growing up. In addition to color, I also had eleven inches taken off the length. It gave me the feeling of a fresh start, and I loved it.
When Kennedy decided to get a tattoo a few weeks ago, I went with her. Her tattoo artist, Miles, is the hottest man I have ever seen. His roguishly long hair and beard make it seem as if he is a hero from the historical romances I am obsessed with. Add in what I am sure is a body full of tattoos, and I am a goner.
His gaged ears add to making me wet. My panties were soaked for the first time ever, with a dry mouth, I gave him my number. He hired me as his assistant for a convention in Denver giving me my first job in Moosehead. It should be easy, but I know I am going to try to climb that man like a tree. He does something to me and it isn’t something I have ever felt before. I am excited to see where it takes me.
For him, I’ll risk it.