Jake Smith: I got us a booth near the bar. Can’t wait to see you!
Michelle smiled at the message as she approached Hoppy’s. The warmth from the large fireplace in the front hit her immediately. She passed the busy hostess stand and moved toward the area closest to the bar. Scanning the crowd, she found him easily enough. His phone was on the table, but his eyes were on her the moment she came into view.
That GQ face she couldn’t seem to forget sent her a panty-dropping smile as he rose from his seat. He wore a simple, long-sleeve, gray Henley and dark wash jeans. Nothing special and yet he looked sexy in them.
“Michelle,” he said and pulled her into his arms.
There was no kiss, just a warm embrace before he helped her out of her coat. His eyes scanned her black sweater and skinny jeans before stepping back and letting her in to sit.
“Wow, you look amazing!”
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she told him, sneaking in another peek.
“I’m kind of feeling underdressed,” he said with a wink.
Michelle laughed. “Why? We kind of match. Jeans and sweaters.”
Jake looked at his own clothes before comparing. He chuckled before turning serious eyes on her. “Are you a peeping Tom? Maybe I should have shut the windows as I dressed.”
She swatted his arm as she laughed. “Shut up! I did not. Maybe you were the one peeking into my window?”
Their waiter stopped at the table with water, ending their easy banter. The man’s eyes lingered over her breasts, and she fought the urge to adjust her top. She glanced at Jake and saw a quick flash of annoyance.
“Do you know what you want to drink?” Jake asked her.
Michelle glanced from Jake to the waiter. “Glenfiddich, eighteen year neat, and a small cup with ice.”
“And I’ll have the Total Eclipse.”
The waiter took one last peek at her breasts before walking away. Jake turned his body toward her, and she noticed the slight frown on his face.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
His eyes darted away before locking onto hers. “I feel like I should be asking you that.”
She narrowed her eyes, crinkling the skin between her eyes. “Why?”
He shook his head and rubbed his hand over his face, clearly upset. “Never mind… So I wasn’t expecting you to be a single malt drinker.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Depends on my mood. Last night I enjoyed a glass of wine. What’s the Total Eclipse?”
“Well, that’s when the moon covers the sun, and we are left in the dark.” His tone was so serious, she couldn’t help but laugh.
“Duh, smartass. Although, I was asking about the drink.”
She caught sight of his charming smile once again. “Oh, that! It’s this yummy peanut butter, chocolate stout that they brew here.”
Michelle felt herself relax in his presence even when there was a lull in the conversation. They were talking about their favorite drinks when the waiter placed their glasses in front of them. Jake asked the waiter for more time while she scooted the whiskey and ice toward her.
She moved two cubes from the glass of ice and put it in the glass with her single malt. Jake’s eyes were trained on her hands, but all she could see was the agitation on his face.
“What did I do?” she asked.
“Huh? What?”
Michelle sat back and looked him over. “I don’t know. You look upset, and you weren’t a little while ago. Did I—”
“No!” Jake put his arm behind her, placed his leg on the bench, and faced her. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to come off as some possessive asshole. I mean, this is only our first date.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“That waiter—” Jake shook his head.
“What about him?” Michelle asked, wondering if he knew the man from somewhere else.
“He won’t stop staring at your… at your chest, and it’s pissing me off.”
“Ah, gotcha.” Relief washed over her. Logically, she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong, but without knowing Jake, she wasn’t entirely confident in that fact. “Yeah, I noticed that too. I’m just ignoring it.”
“Just ignoring it?” his eyebrow raised with disbelief.
“Yup!” She smiled.
“All right, ignoring it we shall.” Jake took a sip of his pint and smiled.
“That good?” she asked him, tilting her head toward the beer.
“Tasty, want to try?” he offered.
She shook her head as she brought her own glass to her lips. The liquid coated her throat and warmed her from the inside.
“For the record?”
“Yeah?” she asked.
“Men can’t just ignore a woman like you.” Jake lifted his menu, and she couldn’t help but stare at him.
After a minute, she realized he wouldn’t say more on the topic. Michelle didn’t know how to respond either, so she followed his lead. Her eyes were unfocused at first as she stared at the burger selection. Their conversation flowed to what each person ate on previous visits before she felt him tense beside her.
“It’s not worth it,” she told him as the waiter walked away with their orders. “I do appreciate your need to stand up for me.”
Jake shrugged after casting her a side glance. “How about you explain to me how you’re still single?”
Michelle laughed. “You say that like I’m choosing to go home to an empty house, day after day.”
“No—”
“I guess I hadn’t met the right person. My best friend is always trying to play matchmaker.” Her mind wandered to the string of men Janey had set her up with. Not one had clicked for her.
Jake smiled, and a part of her sighed. “No luck I see.”
“Nope.”
“How about you? Why are you single?” Michelle asked and took a sip of her whiskey.
“Because I can never get past that question.”
A hardness was around Jake’s words. Hurt. Anger. Sadness. None of which Michelle expected.
“What do you mean?” she asked after giving him time, hoping he would elaborate.
Jake drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Two years ago, I lost my wife and daughter.”
Her body froze as she heard his words on a loop in her head. Neither spoke as he let her process the information. Lost? If they’d run off, he would’ve clarified by now. Michelle’s blood ran cold. Part of her wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him how very sorry she was to hear that. The other part of her, the one that knew very little about this man, screamed to keep her ass put.
Michelle nodded when Jake glanced at her, telling him without words that she did in fact hear him. Jake drank deeply from his beer, and he began to emotionally shut down. She hated that he’d lost his world.
She leaned her head on his shoulder and felt the stiffness in his muscles loosen a fraction. “One of the guys she set me up with, I saw him a few times. We hit it off nicely the first time, so I agreed to another. A couple of things were off on the second date, but I told myself it was because I was too picky. I couldn’t meet him again after the third date. My internal alarm was going off.”
“What happened?” Jake asked and kissed the top of her head.
“He was an associate professor at the university. It turned out he was also sexually assaulting some of the females.”
“Wow…” Jake pulled back. His eyes searched hers. “Did he ever—”
“No! Thank God, no he didn’t.”
Jake wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close. “I’m glad you listened to your instinct.”
“Me too.” Michelle looked up at him. His lips invited her in, and she followed. She used her lips and tongue to tell him how sorry she was for his loss. Each run of her tongue along his was meant to soothe the pain. He palmed her face and slowed their kiss.
Michelle put her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too. The hardest part?”
Michelle laced her fingers with his. “Yeah?”
“Learning to live without them.”
Their food arrived just then. Jake squeezed her hand and released it so she could sit up. They shared a sweet smile before digging into their food. The conversation moved to more lighthearted topics. Where they went to college, favorites, and funny childhood accounts.
Michelle didn’t trust herself well with men after the professor. The signs that things weren’t as they seemed flashed in her mind, but she could only remind herself that hindsight was twenty-twenty. Since then, she listened to every spark that went off in her gut. Especially when dating a complete stranger.
Jake was different. Minus the initial impact of their meeting, he felt like home to her. It scared Michelle to death. Was her mind playing tricks on her? He was obviously still grieving his wife and child. Not that she could blame him.
Michelle could only imagine what it was like to lose someone so special. Life would be the worst form of punishment. She didn’t know how he lost his wife, but she wondered if he held onto guilt for his own part in their death. Michelle pushed this all aside, reminding herself that he would tell her more as he was ready. It wasn’t exactly first-date information.
“Michelle?” Jake asked, breaking into her thoughts. His hand was on her thigh near her knee, the heat of his flesh seeping through her jeans.
She looked at him from her empty plate. “Yeah? I’m sorry I—”
“Went on a little trip. Are you okay?”
“I’m great,” she said, the words sounding forced and anything but great.
Jake turned toward her again. He watched her for a moment, and his brows pulled together. “No, you’re not. Too much information on the first date?”
She cupped his face at his quiet words. “No. Not too much.” Michelle sighed before biting her lower lip. “As you can imagine, I’m careful about dating. I hold myself back.”
“Yeah, but this shit is hard. In your case even scary.”
Michelle laughed. “Yeah it can be. Although, my fear this time is completely different.” The confession slipped out as she focused on his chest.
Jake lifted her chin with a finger, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Care to elaborate?”
“No?” She smiled.
A shadow crossed his face. “Okay.”
When Jake broke their connection, she regretted evading his question. Lifting her hand to his cheek, it was her turn to give a piece. “I like you, Jake.”
“I’m sensing a but in there.”
She trembled. “But it scares me to death.”
He rubbed his lips against hers. This whisper-soft kiss was sweet in nature, unlike their passionate ones before. “I’m scared too. You are the first woman that has knocked me out of my chair of grief.”
She giggled. “I’m pretty sure you are the one who’s done the knocking down.”
“Touché. I’m just saying that before I splayed you across the sidewalk, I was perfectly content sitting and grieving my girls. I’ve carried this pain for so long that the idea of moving on hurts. I’m scared too.”