Chapter 18
Bentley
When Jax said there was a lot to his family, he wasn’t kidding. We walk into the family diner, Wheels, and are immediately greeted by his eldest brother, Parker.
“Oh fuck my life,” he says, “not you too.”
Jax has the biggest smile on his face, and pulls me tighter to his side. “’Fraid so, biggest bro,” he says, and presses a kiss to my cheek. “This is my girl, Bentley.”
Parker shakes my hand before turning his attention back to Jax. “Seriously, man, what’s the deal? I thought I could at least count on you to join me in bachelorhood.”
Jax shrugs. “Sometimes the right one just comes along out of nowhere. Don’t worry, your time will come.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of,” he says, so quietly I’m not sure Jax heard. “Anyway,” he puts on a smile, “come on in and grab a seat. Reed, Bria, Avery, and Chase are at home, but everyone else is either on their way or already here.” He gestures to the dining room of the diner. To my right is a bar area, but taking up most of the space is the seating. There’s a look-through window into the kitchen, but what grabs my attention is the large group of people seated at a long table.
Jax walks us over there and introduces everybody. “Ryans, this is Bentley. Bentley, Ryans,” he says. “We’ve got Pa, and Pop.” He points to two older men at the table. “Chris, Liam, Mason.” And yes, he is every bit as hot as Jax described, if not more. “Rome, Grayson, Xander, and you know Mav, Aubrey, and Park.”
“Hi,” I say in a small voice, and give a pathetic wave.
We take our seats and are about to order when the door opens and two women, each carrying a young child, and a guy walk in. Beside me, Jax stiffens slightly. One of the women, the younger one, stops when she sees him. She looks at me, with Jax’s arm resting on the back of my chair, and continues towards us.
“Hey, guys,” the older woman says. She’s beautiful, with wavy black hair and warm brown eyes. Mav and Aubrey run towards her. She hands off the child in her arms to the man she walked in with and embraces them.
“Hi,” the second girl says to Jax in a quiet voice.
“Hey,” Jax says, and shuffles closer to me.
“How have you been?”
“Good, really good,” he says, nodding.
“I can see that.” She smiles at me.
“Yeah,” Jax says, grabbing my hand. “I have an absolutely breathtaking girlfriend, I recovered well, and am planning my comeback, so yeah, life is very, very good right now.”
“I’m really glad to see that, Jax,” she says. “I’m Quinn, by the way,” she says to me. She shifts the child in her arms so she can shake my hand.
“Bentley. It’s nice to meet you,” I say. Even though she’s been perfectly nice, something about her rubs me the wrong way. It’s almost as if she thinks she’s too good to be associated with a bunch of bike-riding adrenaline junkies. She gives me another smile before going to take a seat at the opposite end of the table.
“Sorry,” Jax murmurs. “I didn’t know she would be here.”
I turn to face him and cup his cheek with my hand. “It’s fine. Besides, we worked this out the other night, didn’t we?”
His eyes go glassy, and I know he’s remembering. He adjusts himself and I smile. “Fuck yeah, we worked that shit out,” he says.
“Good.” I lean in to kiss him quickly. “But feel free to remind me again if you want.” He growls, and I laugh before Parker comes to take our orders.
Spending time with the Ryans is eye-opening. They are such a great bunch of people and have accepted me, for the most part, easily. I think Jax’s dad is a little unsure of me, but he’s at least polite enough not to let it show too much. Jax’s brothers, though…. I didn’t know it was genetically possible to have five sons who are all drop-dead gorgeous. And the kids. Chris is full of spunk, and Avery has got every member of her family wrapped around her little finger. Cole, Knley, Rome, and Grayson are pretty cool too. All in all, Booker is a pretty great place to be. If I could just avoid Quinn for the rest of my time here, that would be awesome.
I’m alone at Jax and Mav’s house one day, happily reading Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses, when there’s a knock at the door. It’s surprising, as both guys are out doing something bike related with Rome, and Aubrey is over at Cole and Knley’s. Still, I answer anyway. Imagine my shock when I come face-to-face with Quinn.
“Hey,” she says, smiling her overly sweet smile.
“Er, hi,” I say, nowhere near as enthusiastic. My hair might be bright and bubbly (at the moment I’ve got a bright purple, pink, and yellow melt going on), but it doesn’t mean my personality matches.
We stand there staring at each other before she speaks. “Do you mind if I come in?”
I step aside. “Jax isn’t here, if you’re looking for him,” I tell her.
“Oh no, I know he’s not.”
“So why are you here then?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. We haven’t moved further into the house than the entryway, and until I figure out why she’s here, we won’t.
“Can we sit?” she asks, gesturing to the living room. The fact that she’s so familiar with this house pisses me off.
“Not until you tell me why you’re here.”
“I just wanted to talk, that’s all.”
“About what? ’Cause no offence, but I don’t think we have anything in common,” I say, taking in her appearance. She’s in a cute vintage-inspired top with high-waisted jeans, ballet flats, and a cardy. I, on the other hand, am wearing ripped jeans, Uggs, and one of Jax’s old Ryan Racing jumpers. It has holes in the sleeves and my thumbs are poking out of them.
“I think we have one big thing in common,” she counters.
“Just tell me why you’re here, Quinn,” I say, suddenly exhausted. “Do you want him back? Is that it? If it is, I’m here to tell you that that’s not going to happen.”
She gives me her sweet smile, and I want to slap it off her perfect face. “No, I don’t want Jax back.”
“So what is it?”
“I just wanted to make sure he’s doing okay.”
“Why?” I ask. “From what Jax told me, he wanted more but you didn’t. You left him, just like every other woman in his life has done. Until me, that is.”
“Is that what he thinks?” she gasps.
“How else is he supposed to see it? I may only have been with Jax for a short while, but we were friends before that. Even then I could tell that he loves deeply.”
“I never meant to hurt him,” she says, a contrite look on her face.
“No, you just kept coming back, giving him hope and stringing him along.”
She shakes her head. “No, it wasn’t like that.”
“Oh really,” I say, sarcasm thick. “Tell me, what was it like then?”
“It was me not wanting to let him go.” She looks up at me, her eyes shining with tears. “Surely you know how he is, how he burrows under your skin and attaches himself.”
I nod, because I do know how Jax does that. “I get that,” I tell her, “but that doesn’t excuse you from stringing him along. Tell me, how long did this thing between you last?”
“Ten months,” she says in a small voice.
“And when did you realise his feelings far outstripped yours?”
“About a week after our first time together.”
I nod. What a bitch. “And yet you continued to get together with him whenever you could, knowing the relationship was unequal.” She nods, a tear sliding down her cheek. “I get it. Jax is one hell of a guy. He’s amazing, and I can understand why someone would want to be around that. What I don’t understand is why you would want to risk ruining that awesomeness. Do you have any idea how broken he was when I first met him?” I ask. She shakes her head. “He was a shell. He tried to hide it and for the most part he did it well, but I saw through that. It took a long time for Jax to open up to me, and even longer to build him back up to the person he is today.”
“I’m sorry,” she sobs.
“It’s not me you need to be apologising to,” I tell her.
“I really didn’t mean to hurt him,” she says, looking up at me.
“Treating him the way you did, knowing what you knew, I don’t see how it could’ve turned out any different. Was it some sort of game for you? To see how long you could string along the cute puppy that is Jax Ryan?”
“No.” She shakes her head violently.
“Really? Then why do it?”
“Because….”
“Because what? I can fill in the blanks if you need a hand,” I tell her. She growls in response.
“I’m still waiting,” I say, when an answer still isn’t forthcoming.
“I did it because I liked the way he treated me, the way he made me feel.”
“Like you’re the only girl in the world, right?” She nods. “And knowing this, experiencing this, you didn’t once feel bad that you didn’t return his feelings?”
“I was young and confused and there was a lot going on in my life!”
“Why do you think Jax treated you the way he did? It wasn’t because he likes not having his feelings returned. Couldn’t you see that as much as you like the attention he gave you, that he wanted the same level of affection from you?”
She sniffs and wipes at her nose. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve said that before, but yet, I don’t see anything that backs that statement up.”
“What do you want from me?” she asks.
“I want you to leave Jax alone. I want you to forget that you ever knew him, that you ever let him love you.” She nods. “Go back to Melbourne, Quinn. Go back to your big house and your fancy uni with your fancy doctor boyfriend.”
“O-ok-okay,” she sobs.
“And don’t worry about Jax,” I tell her. “He’s got everything he’ll ever need in me.” And he does. I may not have realised it straight away, but I’m more than aware of how lucky I am to be the woman in Jax Ryan’s life. I thank God every day that I came to my senses and was able to see the great guy that was right in front of me. That’s what sets me apart from Quinn. She took Jax for granted. She doesn’t know what it’s like not to trust the guy you’re with, to not be able to depend on him, or to trust his love for you. I do, and I swear I’ll never forget that.
She nods and turns heading out the door. I lock it behind her, confident that’s the last time she’ll ever bother us again.