Kara
“There’s a gorgeous man sitting in our tiny living room. He looks familiar.” Anissa’s light brown eyes held a sparkle and her voice was excited as she sat on the chair opposite my bed. My door was already open and when she saw me picking through a pile of outfits and dumping them on the bed, she stepped inside my room.
I’d just arrived from volunteering at Golden Estates Nursing Home, so I didn’t have time to get ready before Scott showed up.
Today I walked Twister, Miss Edna’s 9 year-old Boston Terrier. He was a gorgeous dog and he’d looked so sad that I’d hugged him before I even attached his golden leash. Miss Edna had taken a fall in bed so she was fresh from knee surgery. I loved dogs and walking them wasn’t a job for me. Golden Estates wanted to pay me when I’d first inquired about the job, but since I couldn’t promise them steady hours because of school, I talked to the manager and after meeting Karen for lunch, she took me in as a volunteer. It was my wish to own a dog once I graduated from college. I had lots of wishes but owning a rescue dog was one of my top ones. Mom never allowed us to have pets because to her, they took up a lot of time and they could be rowdy and break her expensive decorations. Yet another topic I didn’t agree with her on.
I turned to face Anissa and smiled, “That’s Scott. My boyfriend.”
“Scott Strauss? The quarterback?” Her voice turned up a notch. She was wearing a gold and green outfit today that artfully matched her hijab. If there was a fashion guru for Muslim women, Anissa should be an expert. She wore the coolest outfits.
I nodded my head and laughed. Scott had a lot of fangirls. I was used to them.
In high school, girls approached him all the time. I used to be annoyed at them, but Scott always held my hand and never disrespected me in front of them. He explained it as a hazard of his profession. Even back then, he already thought of football as his profession. “I’ll introduce you guys.”
Anissa’s face turned red and she squealed, “Oh MY gosh! I can’t even – “
Shaking my head, I giggled, “He’s a regular guy, roomie. He’s nice and I’m sure he can hear you screaming right now because our walls are paper thin.”
Covering her mouth with her left hand, she whispered, “He’s a Heisman winner and rumors are he’s going to go number one in the draft. His stats last year were outstanding; 48 touchdowns, 3480 passing yards, and he even had over 1200 rushing yards. He’s way better and way cuter than that cocky Clemson quarterback.”
My chest vibrated in humor. “Gee, I didn’t know you were a football junkie. Scott will be happy to know that my roommate knows all his stats.”
“Please don’t say anything to him.” She backtracked, a complete contrast to the starry-eyed look she was sporting on her face. “It’s going to be so embarrassing… I should probably fix my face before meeting him. I just woke up from a nap.” Eyeing the mess on my bed, “Oh my! I’m sorry! I’m holding you up from your date.”
I was already wearing my skinny fit high-rise Earnest Sewn jeans and I was just deciding on a top. “You’re fine and you’re not holding me up.”
With a blue tank top on my right and a white embroidered top on my left, I asked, “Which one?”
Her eyes skimmed my tops and she pointed to the white top and suggested, “Accessorize with a necklace or earrings for color?”
Nodding my head, “I was thinking coral hoop earrings?”
“Perfect.” She turned towards the window as I took off my gym shirt and replaced it with the soft white tank top.
“How’s your Bio class going?” Anissa was pre-med and she’d mentioned that her science classes were getting harder. I liked Science but Bio wasn’t my forte.
“It’s going. I got a B+ on the exam and the professor grades on a curve so my B+ became an A.” Slowly standing up from the chair, she did a skip and hop on the carpeted floor and her joy was contagious.
“You go girl! Show ‘em that Bio is your bitch!” I said before realizing that Anissa didn’t really curse so I followed it up with, “Sorry.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “It’s okay. Just because I don’t swear doesn’t mean you can’t.”
“I’m trying,” I said, hoping that she understood, as I walked to my closet and reached up for the silver box of accessories. “I’m not sure what’s offensive or not to you and I know I can Google it and there’s a lot of stuff out there on the Internet world letting me know what’s okay and what’s not, but I want to learn them from you.”
Her eyes were soft as she looked at me, “Kara, the fact that you’re trying to understand my culture and my faith is more than enough. I promise I’ll let you know right away if something is offensive to me.”
I placed my fingers on my right earlobe and slid the hoop earring into the slot, “Okay.”
“The same goes for you, you know. If I say anything that’s not okay with you, please tell me, okay?”
I knew that not the world was big. That my life in Southlake was idyllic. That beyond the terrains, the rugged hills, the deserts, and the mountains of Texas, there were hundreds of cultures that were different from mine and a billion other people who shared my ideologies. Or may not.
But here in my dorm room, I knew that if at least half of the Earth’s occupants showed the tolerance and respect that Anissa and I had for each other, we would be able to win half the battle against prejudice.
I walked up to her and gave her a small hug.
I didn’t know if that was offensive.
I just wanted her to know that I was her friend and that was how I showed my friendship.
And Anissa, in her colorful garb, her face devoid of any makeup, smiled, and returned my hug.
“Your roommate’s interesting…” Scott’s green eyes were bright in the ambient restaurant lighting. The drive from my dorm to the restaurant took less than fifteen minutes. I wasn’t familiar with San Diego and its landscape, but it was my hope that by the end of the year, I’d know most of the area.
“Yes, she’s funny and cool,” I responded, his eyes glazing on the menu.
At eight o’clock, there was a good amount of diners. Every table was filled except for a few around the corner.
“Hmm” was his default reply. I’d known him since I was nine years old, when his family had moved from North Carolina to Texas because of his dad’s work. There wasn’t much that escaped me when it came to his habits and mannerisms.
“What’s that for?” I inquired. Scott didn’t say much. He was a guy who kept everything to himself. I didn’t even know he liked me until he asked me to be his prom date when he was a senior, to my brother’s shock and disgust, but somehow they worked it out.
“She didn’t say much. I was wondering if she was mute or something.”
I grinned, “She’s a big football fan. She knows your stats. She was just shy around you.”
“Ah. Okay.” His return smile was instant. If there was anything that made Scott smile, it was related to football. I wondered if I could ever garner that smile from him.
“What do you wanna order, Kara?” His eyes were on the menu again and I took this time to observe him. His hair had gotten half a shade lighter from the sun, his skin more tanned, and the red shirt he was wearing highlighted the muscles under his pecs. Unlike my brother, Scott wore clothes that fit him well. Rikko always had to go for shirts that sucked the air out of his lungs, a ‘better view’ for the ladies was his reason.
I scrolled my eyes over the menu. Red One had a great assortment of salads, burgers, and pasta. I hadn’t really had time to work out but I did walk a lot on campus. “I’m leaning towards the squash pasta with chicken.”
His face scrunched up, “Squash for a pasta?”
“What? It sounds delicious,” I reprimanded. “Just because you hate greens doesn’t mean they’re not good for you.”
“I like greens but I’d rather have them in a shake.” Oh yeah. Scott and his endless protein shakes.
“Are they good for you?” I asked, making him look up at me, his sole focus on me.
“Kara, not now. Please.” His jaw was tight and I could tell he was being evasive.
“Scott, did your doctors okay them?” I persisted. The one thing about knowing someone for years was that you knew what made them tick, and you also knew when to ask questions that they would rather not answer.
I heard the crunch between his teeth as he chomped on one of the two ciabatta rolls that the server had brought us.
“I don’t drink them as much as I used to,” was his reply. Translation: They weren’t good for him.
Anything that could trigger his seizures wasn’t good for him.
“Not tonight.” His eyes pleaded and I had no choice but to relent.
“I care for you,” I said, looking straight at him. “You’re important to me. I don’t want things to get out of hand again.”
“They’re not.” Reaching across the table to hold my hand, he slowly removed my hands from the menu as he linked our fingers together. “I’m better now. I’m not gonna be that stupid again. I’m not gonna let things get crazy before I do something about it.”
I know, that’s part of the reason why I’m here.
I didn’t say it out loud, but I tilted my head, conveying my discernment.
“Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?” Deflection. That was one of Scott’s greatest talents. As a quarterback, he rarely got sacked. I didn’t know much about football but I knew enough. What with a brother who played it and a boyfriend who was a star football player... The offense protected him, but Scott outside of football had quite mastered the skill.
I didn’t want to argue so I allowed myself to let it go. “You didn’t. Not yet.”
“Well you look great, Kara. You always look great, but I think being in San Diego agrees with you,” he said, his eyes full of appreciation.
I held my tongue. I wanted to ask him how would he know if San Diego agreed with me when he’s only seen me twice in the past three weeks. But then again, maybe tonight would be different. Maybe tonight he really meant it –
“Hey, is that…?” Scott’s attention was now by the door. His eyes strained to look so he stood up and waved.
I had to turn my head to the side to catch his meaning. Obviously whoever caught my boyfriend’s attention was important because Scott rarely showed excitement.
Oh, baby Jesus.
Holy Child of God.
Why, oh why? Of all the days in the world, why?
Closing in on our table was the man who had been starring in my dreams for the past week. The guy who, if I was being honest to myself, I was trying to avoid because I couldn’t make sense of the way I reacted to him.
He’d waved at me in class but that was it. I made sure to leave right away to catch him after Quantum, but it was like his feet were on fire or something. Last week, by the time I was out the door, I saw him walking at the end of the hallway with two of our classmates.
I had his phone number, I could text him but what would I say? Hey it’s me. I just want to text you because I think you’re cool and I want to talk about Quantum with you. Text me? Or call me? Maybe?
Carly Rae Jepsen, girl, I would have made you proud with my awkwardness.
Kardashian Sisters, I would have made you proud with my hussy-ness.
He was wearing a blue shirt that molded well to his body and jeans that gave him a casual yet dressed nice look.
I never realized how tall he was until he was standing so close to me. I was wearing heels at the frat party so I kind of gauged that he was tall. Being 5’8” I’d always liked tall guys because they made me feel petite. Like they could hug me and I wouldn’t feel like a giant. Hanna said she envied my legs but I always told her I envied her tiny frame. She was able to hide in the smallest of places while I was one of the first to be found because either my shoes or the top of my head were sticking out.
“Hey.” His brown eyes greeted Scott first, then they did a special handshake. Was that a secret code that frat brothers did?
“What’s up?” Scott responded and he was already scooting up a chair for Bishop.
“Not much.” Bishop still hadn’t looked at me, but I saw the way his right hand curl lightly around his date’s waist.
I never had the urge to rip someone’s waist off. First off, that would be weird. No one can walk without a waist. It would be like Zombie Apocalypse. Second, I had no claims on Bishop. If he wanted to put his arms on her waist, he should be allowed to. Third, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.
Maybe that was why he didn’t want to study with me?
I was being so shallow and I would be utterly disgusted with myself if I didn’t feel a burning feeling inside of my chest.
“I’m Kara.” I extended my hand to the woman standing close to Bishop. She had long dark hair, hazel eyes, and for the love of God, she was petite.
The kind of petite I wanted to be.
Jealousy was really a bitch.
Jealousy without a cause was a double bitch.
She smiled and a dimple showed on the right side of her face. “Nora. Nice to meet you, Kara.”
She had a cute voice too, ugh.
Deciding to swallow these unwanted feelings that made an appearance at the most inopportune times, I said, “Hey Bishop.”
Only then did he look at me.
His dark eyes met mine and for a split second, I saw his eyes become darker, then it was gone. A mirage.
He did a quick stare, as if he was taking a mental picture of me with his eyes and then the side of his face lifted, “Hi. I had no idea you guys were here.”
Scott, my boyfriend, said. “It’s cool. We can double date. Kara and I just ordered our food.”
Bishop said. “I don’t want to impose. We can wait for a table. The hostess said it would only be a few minutes.”
“I think that’s a great idea.” That was me.
At the same time, Scott, whose dark blonde head was shaking, said, “Nah, it’s cool. It’ll be more fun this way.”
“Is it okay with you?” My eyes were on Scott as I heard Bishop asking his date.
Nora, the petite girl with a dimpled smile, looked up to Bishop, her dark locks framing her face, “It’s okay with me.”
She answered with a smile and as I moved my chair to the right so Nora could sit, I had to figure out a way to get through this night without being rude or acting like a jealous bitch.
Because even if I’d been going to sleep to dreams of this dark-eyed man sitting across from me, I had a boyfriend.
And I had no right, absolutely none, to Bishop.