CARTER APPEARS AT the locker beside mine, twisting the combination into the lock before popping the door open.
“You good?” he asks in a low voice before looking over his shoulder and then back to me. “You look like shit.”
I feel like shit. “Fuck no,” I reply, closing my locker and leaning my shoulder against it while I wait for him. “I’ve been dreading this for nearly two years.”
Last night, Emerson called to inform us that hospice would be coming today and time was running out, so we need to be prepared. The thought of saying goodbye to Uncle Marcus makes me physically ill. I barely slept a wink last night, and I’ve been on autopilot ever since I got up this morning. I don’t even remember driving to school.
“How’s your cousin doing?” he asks, concerned.
“Emerson said Jay isn’t taking this well at all. Her therapist is there, but Jay won’t speak to her or anyone else, just Marcus.”
Carter shuts his locker and we make our way to the dining room. “Have you told Zach yet?”
I shake my head. “I haven’t had the chance to get him alone. He’s got his head up Reagan’s ass.”
Carter chuckles. “Aww, is Coley jealous of Reagan?” he coos, dodging my fist. “Missing your BFF?”
“I’m not jealous.” I slug him in the arm and he laughs. “I just think he can do better.”
“I thought he was obsessed with Jay?”
“No, he’s in love with Jay.” I laugh. The whole family knows it, too. Zach thinks I don’t know about his feelings for Jay, but it’s obvious when he gets a dopey love-struck look on his face whenever there’s mention of her. “But it does him no good when she lives on the other side of the country,” I add. “He’s got half the girls in school panting after his dumb ass, including the seniors, and he picks Reagan Vaughn.” I shake my head, disappointed.
“She probably screws his brains out on the daily. That girl is wild, and she definitely knows what to do with a dick.” He wiggles his brows.
I jerk to a stop just outside the dining room doors and turn to him, wondering if he’s joking. He shrugs, carelessly.
“You banged Reagan?” I ask, incredulously.
“A few times,” he admits.
I just stare at him.
He laughs and holds up his hand in defense. “We were lab partners last year. She offered, and I needed to get laid. I shut it down after the third time though, or she would’ve thought we were in a relationship. It was at the beginning of the school year, before she and Zach started hooking up. I wouldn’t go behind his back like that.”
“I know that, jackass.” I scowl and punch him in the arm again. “Why the fuck are you just now telling me?”
Carter adopts a scowl of his own. “Since when do we share?” This is true.
“I hope you got tested.” I smirk.
The corners of his mouth curl into a smile. “No glove, no love. That’s how I roll.”
“Sometimes the glove isn’t enough,” I remind him, and he shakes his head.
“Cry me a river, Mackenzie. You’ve got the best of both worlds. But I agree with you. Zach deserves better.”
“Why would he want to if she’s as wild as you say?” I tease.
“I didn’t mean she’s wild in bed—she is. What I meant is she’s wild like she can’t be tamed. How many guys did she date last year? Five—six? It won’t last. She’ll get bored and move on to another baller.” He’s right. Every guy Reagan dated last year was a baller. Mostly seniors.
“Let’s just hope he gets bored first.”
“Yeah.” He nods. “Let’s hope.”
“MR. FRITZ,” MS. Patty’s voice calls over the intercom. “Will you please send Cole Mackenzie to the office with his belongings? He’ll be leaving for the day.”
Here we go.
I ignore the collective round of “oohs” that echo around the room as I slip my pencil, paper, and book into my backpack. The sinking feeling in my gut tells me it’s the call my family’s been expecting.
Ms. Patty offers me a sad smile as I step into the office and up to the counter. Principal Avery and Ms. Patty are good friends with my grandparents. Their son, Patrick, is my dad’s best friend.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she coos, stepping around the counter with her arms extended and pulling me into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” She moves back and looks up at me with unshed tears. “Please give our condolences to your family.”
I nod and clear my throat. “Thank you. I will.”
After signing out, I make my way out of the office and nearly collide with Zach.
“What’s up?” he asks, concerned. “I heard you got called out of class. Is Willow okay?”
“Willow’s fine. It’s Uncle Marcus. I’m going to California.”
“Jay’s dad?” His brows pinch in confusion. “What happened?”
“He’s dying.” I exhale a ragged breath. I’m not about to break down in the middle of the hallway at school. “Jay didn’t tell you?”
He shakes his head. “No. Jesus, Cole, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” I’m not surprised by that. Uncle Marcus is a very private man, and we all respect that. Including Jay. “How’s Jay?”
I purse my lips. “Not good.”
“Of course not.” He winces as he brings his hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Stupid question. I’m sorry, man. Please give your family my condolences. Tell Jay I’m sorry and to call me if she needs anything. Or if she just wants to talk. I’m here for you guys.”
“Thanks,” I say as we clasp hands and slap each other on the back.
WILLOW IS PASSED out on my lap and I’m relieved. She has no idea what’s going on or why everyone is upset, which makes her upset. The pastor’s words fade into the distance as my attention moves to the slide show displayed on the giant screen behind him until he calls Jay to the podium.
She looks defeated but determined at the same time. I study her facial expressions as she proceeds to tell hundreds—maybe a thousand—people about the amazing man her father was. She speaks the truth.
Uncle Marcus wasn’t just a good husband to Emerson or a good father to Jay. He was a good man. A good person. He found the positive in even the most fucked-up situations.
“We all make mistakes, Cole. Sometimes even our biggest mistakes turn out to be the most beautiful blessings.” Truer words have never been spoken.
I press a kiss to the top of Willow’s head.
He was right.
He was always right.
I can’t believe he’s gone.
Jay’s shaky voice grabs my attention. She’s struggling. I start to get up, forgetting that I have a toddler in my lap, but Dr. Ramos, Jay’s therapist, is already making her way over to the steps.
Jay gives a slight shake of her head, letting the doctor know she’s fine. But she’s not fine, and just as the thought crosses my mind, Jay has a full-blown meltdown. Emerson tries to get up, but Mac holds her back and leans in to whisper something in her ear. Emerson nods, then covers her face with her hands and begins sobbing.
This is fucking awful.