Veronica
"Are you sure you don't want me to come?"
I turned away from the mirror so that I could properly glare at my brother. "I'm just as sure now as I was the first ten times you asked."
"Are you sure it's a good idea for you to be alone with him?"
"Vinnie, it's fine. Now, please stop all that pacing before you wear a hole in my floor."
He sighed and flopped down on the corner of my bed. "I'm just worried about you. I can't stop thinking about what happened the last time you were alone with him."
I blew out a breath and turned back to the mirror to finish my mascara. "It's fine. I'm driving myself, so I won't be in a car with him. Besides, technically the last time we were alone together was at the park, and that went fine."
Or at least it had gone better than I'd deserved, considering he'd just discovered I'd been keeping his own daughter a secret from him. In fact, he'd seemed eerily calm about the whole thing. It made me worry an outburst was inevitably on the horizon. I knew it was for the best that I didn't mention that part to my protective brother.
"You look like you're getting ready for a date." The accusation in Vinnie's voice was clear.
I closed the mascara and slammed it down on the vanity top. "Can you just back off? I'm nervous enough about this as it is. You're just making it worse."
"Sorry," he grumbled.
After our uncomfortable run-in at the park, Travis and I had agreed to meet for dinner to sort through the big mess we were suddenly faced with. It took everything in me not to make a deposit to the porcelain gods every time I pictured splitting time with my daughter. I'd never had to share her with anyone, not really anyway. Vinnie and Gabby both helped a lot, but not in a way that made me feel threatened as a mother. Now I had a serious fear developing that Travis might want more than I was willing to give up.
"Are you—"
"Vinnie, don't you dare ask me again if I want you to come. If you do, there's a good chance I might be going to jail for your murder tonight."
He huffed. "I just want to make sure you're sure."
I ignored him, opting instead to grab my purse and head for the door. Gabby had bought tickets to some sort of ice show featuring princesses or cartoon characters or something. I couldn't remember exactly what it was, but I found myself wishing I'd stopped them from going. More than anything, I hated that I couldn't love on Stella before I left.
After I met with Travis, I'd be forced to share Stella with him. Stella's time already was regularly split between me, Vinnie, and Gabby. The idea of getting even less time with my daughter was painful.
It wasn't like I didn't know the day would eventually come, but I hadn't been prepared for it to come so soon.
"I could help you hire a lawyer," Vinnie's words stopped me at the door.
I glanced back at him. "Huh?"
"He's at the college on a scholarship, and I don't think his parents are helping him much—if at all, financially. So, it's not like he could afford a legal battle. We could ask for full custody for you. The worst case scenario is we'd have to give him a little supervised visitation. I'd just need a couple phone calls and I'm sure I could find someone good to hire. We could do that if that would make things easier."
I let out a slight laugh even though his suggestion made me feel a little sick. "I think we've had enough lawyers for one lifetime, don't you?" I readjusted my purse on my shoulder. "I'll be home in a little while."
"Call or text if you need anything!" Vinnie shouted after me as I made my escape.
I found myself driving in silence to the restaurant Travis had suggested, the only sound in the car the voice of the GPS as it directed me to the opposite side of campus from the house Vinnie had bought. It wasn't far from The Burgundy. I figured that was probably a sign that Travis lived somewhere relatively close.
A little shiver ran through me as I pulled into the parking lot. I was all dressed up and meeting Travis Olson for dinner. Part of me felt like I was sixteen again. I couldn't help feeling that Vinnie was right, that it felt like I'd gotten ready for a date instead of what was supposed to be essentially a business meeting between two new co-parents.
"Here goes nothing," I murmured to myself. If I sat in the car any longer I was going to make myself late for the time we agreed upon.
I worked my way towards the front door. Surprise hit me when the man of the hour came out and opened the door for me just as I was approaching. He'd been waiting for me.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hi."
My gaze caught on his and I found myself unable to look away. After all the time that had passed, looking into Travis' eyes was enough to transform me straight back into a swooning teenager.
"We probably should go in," he suggested after we'd stood there staring at each other for far longer than was polite.
I ducked my head, feeling the way my embarrassment heated my cheeks. He chuckled behind me as I stepped past him.
The pizza place he'd invited me to was incredibly informal. There was no host to seat us, but Travis quickly led me to an empty booth in the corner. His choice in seating was a horrifying reminder to my heart about what we were doing there together.
Just the day before, I'd seen him out with his too-perfect girlfriend. Somehow, in the midst of all the emotions I'd been feeling, I'd managed to forget all about her. While I'd been struggling to keep my expectations in check, he'd probably just been going through the motions, knowing he'd be returning home to his own personal Barbie doll at the end of the night.
"Are you okay?" Travis asked.
Guiltily, I realized I'd been frowning down at the menu in front of me. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. I forced myself to smile and examine the menu.
Things were awkward and stilted as the waiter came and we ordered a pizza to share. I offered to split a pitcher of beer, but Travis was quick to decline. We asked the waiter to just bring waters instead. Our younger selves would have been completely ashamed of us. Old enough to order alcohol legally but choosing not to.
Once we'd finished ordering, Travis took a deep breath and asked, "Will you tell me about Stella?"
"What do you want to know?" I shrugged.
"Everything." He breathed out the word with so much wonder and excitement that it doubled my guilt over not telling him about her from the moment I'd found out I was pregnant. I tried to remind myself that I had my reasons, but it was hard to keep that in mind when the man sitting in front of me seemed nothing like the reckless teenager I'd once known.
I launched into a rambling account of Stella from birth to present. Even long after the pizza had arrived and been devoured, I continued regaling him with stories of our daughter. He listened with rapt attention. When I finally couldn't think of a single other story, Travis leaned back, closed his eyes, and a heavy frown crossed his face from cheek to cheek.
"I'm trying really, really hard not to be furious with you right now." I huffed indignantly, but before I could respond he continued, "But right now, I'd really like to focus on getting a chance to get to know my daughter. Are you planning to stop me from doing that?"
My own fleeting anger softened. "Of course not." I traced a wet spot on the table that had been left behind by the melting ice of my water. "How does Laurel feel about kids?"
"Laurel?" He snickered under his breath, just loudly enough that I caught the sound of it. "I can't imagine she's fond of them, why?"
I bristled at the idea that he would be so amused by his girlfriend not liking kids. Especially now that he knew he had one.
"Mr. Olson!"
The two of us turned to look away from the table at the same time. A man that appeared to be in his early thirties approached us. He was dressed in a smart suit and had light eyes that sparkled.
Travis stood to greet the man. "Professor Gilmore, how are you?"
The professor enthusiastically shook his hand. "I'm well, thank you. Are you taking summer classes?"
"Not this year, no. But I didn't have plans for the summer so I'm staying at the house."
"Well, if you happen to be in need of a job, I know the art center could use some models." The man chuckled. "After that stunt you pulled in my class with the underwear, I can't imagine you'd mind stripping down for the job."
"Gee, thanks for bringing that up," Travis retorted, nodding in my direction. "Anyway, Laurel already mentioned the job. I'm considering it."
"Yes, Laurel. Of course." The mention of the other woman's name seemed to make the professor falter, though I wasn't sure why.
Trying to keep up with their short exchange proved fruitless, but there was something that had caught my attention. "Underwear?" I asked, drawing both men's attention to me.
The professor grinned broadly. "Mr. Olson here had to create a mock business for my class back in the fall. He and his partner decided to create an underwear line. A co-ed underwear line. Let's just say I had a very interesting time explaining to the dean why a male student was requesting the chance to model a thong during one of my courses."
Travis scratched absently at his chin. He looked downright mortified by the fact that his professor had shared that with me. I was speechless.
"In my defense," Travis began with a deep breath, "I was trying to impress a girl."
"Oh." I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.
"Not like that," he was quick to explain. "This girl Wren was in the class with me. She's very cool, reminds me a little of you, actually. In the midst of me befriending her, I somehow decided it was a good idea to suggest the underwear thing. It was funny. We had a good laugh about it. It made things interesting. And now Wren—and her boyfriend—are two of my closest friends. When they get back at the end of the summer I'll introduce the three of you."
I nodded, doing my best impression of someone who was unbothered. It wasn't the mention of the girl that had bothered me, it was the fact that Travis was still trying too hard to make people like him. That had been the root of most of our problems, and I wasn't sure I was prepared to deal with a fresh round of the same issues we'd always had.
"It's getting late," I murmured, glancing at my watch to drive the point home.
"Well, I won't keep the two of you. Mr. Olson, feel free to stop by my office if you need anything this summer. I'll be around." And then with a friendly nod, the man strode away.
"Sorry."
I peeked at Travis as I was standing up. "For what?"
"I'm not sure, to be honest." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I just feel like I've upset you somehow."
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm just tired. Here, put your number in my phone. I work the next couple of days, but maybe this weekend we could plan something." Belatedly, I added, "With Stella."
"Hazel isn't making you work weekends?"
I shook my head. "Not until she's convinced I'm fully trained. Though, between you and me, I'm pretty sure it's just because she feels bad for interrupting my bedtime routine with Stella. I won't be surprised if I never actually get a regular, late-night shift."
Travis smiled ruefully as he took my phone from me and entered his number. Years ago, I'd changed numbers so he couldn't reach me, which made it all the stranger to be willingly putting us back in contact.
"This was nice," he said as he handed back my phone.
"Yeah, it was."
I stared at him and he stared back.
"I can walk you to your car," he offered.
"Please don't." I took a step back from him. "I need to… digest everything."
He didn't look pleased, but he did end up staying behind so that I could walk out by myself. I wasn't sure why I'd even made a big deal out of it, other than it was one less thing to muddle up my emotions with. My car was leaving the parking lot before I caught a glimpse of him in the rearview mirror. He turned towards the direction of campus and started walking, further convincing me that his place was nearby. I forced my eyes back on the road as he disappeared from view.
I made it halfway home before I pulled the car off on the side of the road and burst into tears.