Chapter 14

Christmas morning dawned as gray as my mood. I was never going to be able to pull this off. My movements were calculated and awkward. When I’d first met Mags’ parents after the game a couple of days ago, I was my normal, easy self. Now I was so stiff, a sharp wind could break me to pieces. No matter what happened with Mags, his parents were going to become grandparents in less than a year. Holy hell, it was too much for me to handle alone. I repeated my painfully obvious mantra to myself. I have to tell him.

I’d already been at Magnus’ for a while and felt guilty the whole time. I thought about waiting until Izzy and Pop showed up before having a private word with Magnus. For now, I was in sitting in the living room, talking with his parents.

“So, Jennie. Magnus tells us your grandmother was deaf?”

“Yes. I learned sign language the same time I learned to speak. Actually, I’ve been told that I spoke to Grandmom with sign language much more often than I spoke words to anyone else.” Magnus was in the kitchen getting drinks to go along with the snacks that were laid out on the coffee table, so we didn’t bother signing.

Frey, his father, put his hand on my knee. “You know my son thinks of you in the highest regard, Jennie. He’s never spoken of anyone the way he does you.”

His words warmed me from the inside out. “Well, I’m the lucky one, and I should be thanking both of you. You raised a wonderful man. He’s one of a kind.” I meant every word. Mags was kind, gentle when he wanted to be, smart, and respectful. But if I had to be honest, the part that spoke to me most intensely was his, what he called “caveman tendencies.” I loved that he was all alpha. He would make a wonderful, if a bit protective, father. If he chose that route. God, I couldn’t think about that.

Mags walked back into the room and handed me a vodka martini off the tray he was carrying. I stared at it with a sinking feeling. That was what almost broke me—him bringing me a martini had my guilt rising to unprecedented levels. I’m sorry, Mags. Could I just have a glass of water?

He cocked his head, frowning, as he knew martinis were one of my favorite drinks. “Sure. Be right back.” He set the tray with the rest of the drinks on the coffee table and took my martini back into the kitchen with him. I felt the strain of my secrecy with his every step. I had to find a time to tell him.

“Not much into alcohol, huh? Good thing we’re not with my family. My tribe loves to imbibe in a good drink.”

Oh, geez. “No. I like a good drink. I just—” Shit. I just what? Before I could come up with a good answer, his mother’s hand flew to her chest. She leveled me with an incredulous stare.

“You’re pregnant!”

A desperate laugh escaped me. “What? No!” My hands shook and I gripped them together hard. “Why would you say that?”

Magnus’ father again put his hand on my knee. “Oh, Jennie. Don’t bother denying it. My wife…she senses these things. She’s very in tune to the spirits of those around her.”

Of course I’d heard of Native Americans having such abilities, but shit.

Her head tilted as she took me in. “Oh, dear. Magnus doesn’t know, does he?”

Now she probably thought I was sleeping around on him. Before I could say anything, Magnus returned, handing me a glass of water. I took a sip and then embarrassed myself further by running into the bathroom to get rid of the hors d’oeuvres I’d inhaled a short while ago. Fucking awesome time for morning sickness to kick in.

I tried to keep my sounds to a minimum. For the first time, I was glad Magnus had no hearing. There was a soft knock on the door. I flushed the toilet and bade whomever it was to enter.

To my surprise, it wasn’t Magnus, but Robin, his mother. “Oh, child. I’m sorry I upset you so. I gather you haven’t told Magnus yet. I will not spoil your excitement, and neither will my husband. You have nothing to fear.”

“You aren’t worried? I swear, I didn’t try to trap him. It just happened one day and…” I didn’t know what else to say.

She took my hands in hers. “You are not familiar with my people, but we know honesty and love when we see it. You love my son and would never do anything to harm him. This I understand, but you must tell him. He’ll want to know.”

My legs went wobbly with relief. And then the weight of her words hit me. She was right. I loved her son. I loved him like mad! How did such a major fact get tossed into the background of my mind? I wanted to tell him straight away. I wasn’t half as afraid to tell him that I loved him as I was to tell him I was pregnant.

“I know I need to tell him, but I’m scared.”

“Of course you’re scared, child, but have faith in my son. That is all I can ask.” With one last squeeze of my hands, she left me to regroup. Good lord, I missed my mother.

I brushed my teeth and wiped my face before walking back into the living room to a very concerned Magnus. He sprang up from his seat when I entered the room. “Are you okay, sweetheart? Do you have the flu?”

“No, babe. I’m fine. Just Christmas excitement, I think.” I kissed his cheek and shared a knowing smile with his parents. For the first time since I thought I might be pregnant, I allowed myself to be happy with the prospect.

Let us exchange gifts. Robin handed me a package. Most likely due to hormones, it made my eyes water that they’d thought of me.

Oh my. I sniffled as soon as I saw what was in the package. I tried my best to get ahold of my emotions. This is beautiful. She’d given me a dream catcher. It wasn’t something you could buy in a store. It was clearly a gift she’d made with her own two hands. Thank you so much for making this for me. I’m going to hang it over my bed as soon as I get home.

You’re welcome, sweet Jennie. It took me aback, hearing her call me the same thing that Magnus did. It could just as easily bring sweet dreams to a babe. Magnus made a gesture toward her that I’d never seen before, but she just waved it away.

Your turn. Mags had helped me pick out a gift for his parents. It was a Mangelsen print of a black bear that had just returned to a logging area that nature was slowly repairing in Alaska. Their eyes lit up as they recognized the lake where the bear had appeared.

Oh, thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to my wife and me. She feared the logging done there had ruined the black bear population in that area forever. We’re very aware of Mangelsen’s work, but didn’t know about this.

I was so happy they liked their gift. I’d never heard of him before, but I ordered a print for myself when I looked at his website. He takes such intimate pictures. They speak to me. I don’t pretend to be an expert in art, but I know I know what I like.

What did you order? Magnus hadn’t even known I’d ordered one of Mangelsen’s expensive prints. And I hadn’t stopped there. I’d ordered the whole kit and caboodle, museum glass and all.

I ordered a black and white. It’s called Among the Aspens.

His mother’s smile grew three times. We have that as well. Her Cheshire grin stayed in place as she looked pointedly at me and then Magnus. What a coincidence that we enjoy the same pieces.

A chime sounded in the kitchen and Robin stood up. It’s time for me to finish getting dinner in the oven. Would you like to assist, Jennie?

I certainly did. Anything to get away from Magnus’ penetrating glare. I wasn’t fooling him a bit. I quickly followed Robin into the kitchen, grateful for her interference.

“You’re going to tell him tonight, of course.” It wasn’t a question.

I hedged. “Well…”

She abruptly turned to me and cupped my chin. “I appreciate the awkward position you’re in, Jennie, but you will tell my son tonight. And not because I blame you in any way, but you should not be carrying this responsibility by yourself! Yes, you get the privilege of being this baby’s sole provider for now, but you must share this with Magnus. He deserves to share in the special moments before birth, and you deserve the support of a loving man. Magnus is that man.”

Well damn, when she put it that way, it sounded like I was being selfish. But it was still a scary prospect. “Yes, I’ll tell him tonight.”

“Good. I’m thinking Frey and I will be very tired directly after dessert is served.”

The doorbell rang, saving me from having to provide a comment to Robin’s less-than-subtle pressing for me to talk to Mags. I rounded the corner and gave both Izzy and Pop a quick squeeze, pleased to see Pop looking happy and robust for a change.

Dinner was out-of-this-world good. That may have been the hormones talking, but I ate enough for two or three. Magnus smirked at the dent I’d made in the food placed on the table. What? Your mother’s a phenomenal cook.

Agreed. I like to see you eat. You have a healthy appetite.

Did he just call me fat? I lifted a single eyebrow.

He laughed, hands in the air. What? I’m just saying it’s nice to see you appreciate my mom’s cooking. You’re wound up tight tonight, Jennie. Is something wrong, sweets?

Robin rose from the table, beckoning Frey to do the same. Your father and I will do the dishes. Why don’t you four go into the living room and relax.

We got up from the table, but Izzy stopped us. “If you all don’t mind, I need to get Pop back to the home. He forgot some of his meds, and he needs to stay on a strict schedule with them.”

We all said our goodbyes, and then Magnus grabbed my hand. “Come on. Let’s go sit in front of the fire.”

I wasn’t ready. “We should really help clean up.”

Mags tugged on my hand, giving me little choice but to follow him. “Nope. Mom and Dad enjoy cleaning up after a big meal. They’ve always said it’s their alone time.”

Crap. My nerves were close to snapping.

“You and I never got a chance to exchange presents.” He reached under the tree and handed me a long box. “It’s not much. I remembered what you said about presents.”

The tradition at my house growing up was to give each family member one present that wasn’t based on monetary value. In other words, it could cost five dollars or five hundred, as long as it had value to the receiver. I opened the package he’d handed me and grinned in earnest. It was a parchment that I had to unroll which was entitled The Fucking Rules of Grammar. I’d seen it on my computer as a pop-up ad when Mags and I were placing a takeout order once. I told him I simply had to have it for my office wall. It said things like “Accept–To fucking agree or receive” and “Except–Not fucking included.”

I love it! Thank you so much. My arms went around him, but I instantly became nervous again. I’d bought him a pair of compression pants that he said didn’t pinch his balls as kind of a gag gift, but I also had the positive pregnancy stick in my purse. If it wasn’t for Robin, I never would have dared to give it to him on Christmas Day. To make matters worse—or better, I guessed—Christmas also happened to be Magnus’ birthday, which he’d only told me about days ago. I’d make the lack of gifts up to him next year—if he was still around.

I excused myself to go to the restroom. Even though Mags looked concerned, he smiled and let me go. Once I was in the bathroom, I jumped up and down, shaking my hands and demanding myself to get it together. Poor Mags. He had no idea why I was acting the way that I was. It wasn’t fair to him. Crap. One last deep breath and I steeled myself to tell him the news.

I was secretly disappointed to hear his parents still happily banging around in the kitchen, leaving Mags and I alone in the living room. The time had come. The blue-crossed pregnancy test was in my pocket, leaving me no further delays.

Before I could even start, my damn hormones made my eyes water. Mags immediately grabbed my hands.

“Jennie, you’re killing me. I know something’s wrong. Please. Tell me what it is, sweetheart. Let me help you.”

The more he talked, the worse I felt. Like ripping a Band-Aid off, I blurted it out with a sob. “I’m pregnant! I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I know you told me—”

“You dipped your head, honey. What did you say?”

Was he fucking kidding me? Ugh, once again, my fault. I wasn’t going to be allowed to take the easy way out and not look at him while I explained. To keep things silent, I used my hands instead.

You know how we didn’t use condoms that one Sunday? I glanced up at him.

“Yes.”

My hands covered my face and Magnus pulled them away. He had to have a clue where the conversation was going. “And?”

I bent my head, as any coward would do. I’m so, so sorry, Mags. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, but...I forgot.

He made me look at him again. “Forgot what, exactly?”

“Oh, God, Mags. I forgot to get the morning-after pill.” He didn’t respond so I rambled on. “I did get it, but I got it on Tuesday, which was still within the time line, but only eighty-nine percent effective. And it was the most fertile time of my cycle. I waited as long as I could to take a test, and I swear to God, Mags, I tried my best, but—” My head dipped back down.

“Honey, you have to look at me when you speak.”

Oh Jesus. I had to go through all of that again? I wasn’t sure I had it in me. I hadn’t even realized I’d lowered my head. I went back to basics. “I’m pregnant.”

“Yes, I got that part.”

He did? “You did? Why aren’t you freaking out?”

“Because I love you. I know our relationship is still pretty new, but I can’t help the way I feel, and I love you. I’ve never felt a connection like this with anyone before. Not another soul. I wouldn’t have chosen to get pregnant right now, but it’ll be okay. It’ll be more than okay.”

Where I had let out just one big sob with Izzy, I completely unloaded on Magnus—disgusting running nose and all. “You aren’t mad at me?” I didn’t even know if he’d actually caught my words.

“Ah, sweet Jennie. Did you get pregnant by yourself?”

I sniffled. “Almost. I didn’t give you much choice.”

“Is that why you’re so worried? You think you did this to me? Honey, I could have pulled out. Obviously I should have, but you weren’t there by yourself. And if you remember, I took full advantage of that day, coming inside of your beautiful body several times after the first.”

He had a very valid point. Maybe I was being too hard on myself. “I love you too, Magnus. With all of my heart, whatever you decide.”

His frown caught me off guard. I’d just given him an out. “What do you mean, whatever I decide? No child of ours will be born out of wedlock.”

The burst of happiness that overcame me was too much to hide. “Wedlock? Really? You are such an old soul.”

He shrugged. “I am.” He got down on one knee and tugged me until I was sitting on the couch. “Jennie Fields, will you honor me by becoming my wife?”

“You’re really serious?”

He put his arms around my waist, sprawling over my lap to rest his head against the spot that held our baby. He didn’t bother with words, he simply nodded in the affirmative. After a minute of quiet bonding, he sat back. “Did you say yes? I didn’t catch your answer.” He held his breath waiting for me to respond.

“Yes. Of course, yes!” Aside from the quickness in which everything was happening, he made me a happy woman.

“Pick a date, sweetheart.”

“New Year’s Eve.”

“Done. Enjoy being Jennie Fields for one more week.”