Chapter Four
I blink a couple times trying to figure out why I’m not in my room. Wait. I’m still at Tim’s house. What time is it? I squint, looking for my phone and remember it’s still downstairs. I look over and see Tim isn’t in bed with me. I figure I need to get up and head out.
My clothes are strewn all over Tim’s bedroom, and it takes me a moment to find everything. My legs are still wobbly and my ass hurts a bit, but the memories of him filling me make me smile. I can still smell him on my skin, and I almost don’t want to take a shower to wash him away.
We rushed things so fast last night, I’m not sure what to think. Does he want to see me again? Maybe he just wants a one-time fling or a fuck buddy? He told me before he only did flings because men couldn’t handle his schedule. However, he’s retired now. Is this different?
Fuck, what is wrong with me?
I finish getting dressed and head down the stairs, smelling bacon and coffee. I stroll into the kitchen and see Tim, freshly showered and in clean clothes, by the stove.
“Good morning.” He smiles brightly.
“Hi. Good morning.” I’m not sure what to say. He seems pleased, and it should be a good sign.
“Coffee’s over there, and I’ll have breakfast ready in a few moments. Unless you have an appointment or something.” He appears nervous now. “I mean, I let you sleep in because you were really tired last night...this morning...when we went to bed.” He’s now staring at me.
“I don’t have anything today except some errands and those can wait. I’d love some coffee.”
Tim relaxes. “Great. Everything is on the counter, and I’m just about done.” He turns back to the stove, and I head over to the Keurig machine to make a cup of coffee.
“Want me to make you one?”
“Sure,” he answers happily. “Just a little cream, please.”
I nod and place the pod in the cradle and wait. I keep glancing at Tim, who’s bouncing around plating food and humming.
Humming?
This doesn’t seem like the mannerisms of a one-night stand. At least, none I’ve ever had. Generally, it’s a fuck fest and a handshake before heading out the door before the sun is up. Then again, I’ve had one of those in a long time. Maybe things have changed.
Probably not.
I stir a little cream into Tim’s cup and add cream and sugar to mine and see Tim with two plates of food.
“It’s a beautiful morning. Would you like to eat on the back porch? It’s enclosed and I have a small table out there.” Tim grins.
“Sounds lovely.” I nod and follow him out with the cups of coffee.
We sit, and I thank him for the lovely breakfast. It’s a huge pile of food and even though I’m hungry from all the activities from last night, my stomach doesn’t seem to be feeling the same way.
“Is something wrong? Do you not like something?” he asks, concern in his tone and expression.
“No, this looks delicious.” I still pick at the food with my fork. “I’m...I’m a bit overwhelmed.”
“How so?” He puts his fork down and stares at me.
“There’s a lot of thoughts running through my mind right now.”
“Okay, let’s talk about it then.” He is still focused on me.
“Tim, if this is one-time thing, please let me know right now, because I’m not sure what to make of last night or this morning.”
“What? I don’t...I thought you enjoyed last night.” Now, he sounds hurt.
I’ve hurt his feelings. “I enjoyed last night a lot.”
Tim rubs his temples, and now I can feel my own confusion building the longer he’s silent. “Okay,” he finally says and looks me right in my eyes. “I really am happy about what happened last night. I didn’t say it before, but I’m going to now because I think you should know: I like you. I do, a lot, and I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. In fact, I would like to date you exclusively. Yes, last night was our second date, but I feel like there is a connection here, and if I’m overstepping or reading the signals wrong, then let me know right now. I do not want to put my heart into this if you don’t want it too.”
My mouth hangs open at his words. Did he say what I think he said? He wants to date me? Only me? He likes me? All his words are bouncing in my head and making my heart race.
“Tim...wow...I…” There are no words I can say to express how incredible I feel right now. “I feel the same way, and to be honest, I’ve never felt like this before. I’m forty-one and really have had only one serious relationship, and when it ended, I was crushed. But, there’s so many different feelings for you and it’s fast. Don’t you think it’s fast?”
“Yes,” he answers me promptly. “And before you ask, the answer is no. No, I’ve never felt this way before. But, who cares if it’s fast? I’m a believer of living in the moment and this moment, right now, I’m exactly where I want to be. I want to be with you having breakfast after a great night of conversation, food, and sex.”
Before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m on my feet, grabbing the back of Tim’s neck, and pulling his lips to mine. The kiss is deep, passionate, and it conveys everything I want to say but can’t express in words.
When I pull away, Tim and I are both smiling bright. “Let’s finish breakfast.” Tim agrees and we do. We mainly discuss the beautiful weather, the leaves changing, and our love/hate for winter.
The morning has been perfect, and I hate for it to end, but I know Tim needs to do things today. He told me last night he needs some new suits for his new job on air.
Like the last couple of times we’ve eaten together, I help Tim clean up. We seem at ease with each other. When I used to go to Stan’s house, I was always so worried and tense because he was anal about everything being in place. I get being obsessive, I watched Friends and Monica was over the top, but Stan’s a whole new level.
At first, it’s nice to be with someone so clean and organized, but after a while, and being yelled at about a coaster and tea towels, it gets old. Tim’s mansion is clean, but he’s never said anything to me about what goes where or how I stack the dishwasher.
“What do you have planned for today?” Tim asks, washing his hands at the sink.
“Nothing big. Why? Do you want to have dinner?”
“Well, yes, but I was thinking maybe you would go with me to look at suits? If you have time.” He dries his hands and leans against the counter.
“I’d love to, but I need to go home and shower.” I glance down at my wrinkled clothes.
“Of course. Sure. I’m going to go in a couple hours. Just text me when you’re ready, and I’ll come get you.”
I nod with a smile growing on my face. “Okay.” I lean in and kiss him again before heading out to get ready and spend the day with Tim.
I hate to say I rush home to get ready, but I do. I shower, shave, and try to find a casual, but nice outfit. I don’t want to look like a bum when I go shopping with him, but I don’t want it to appear I tried too hard.
As I walk out to the living room, I see Meadow and Kyson stretched out on the couch. “Don’t you have a game?” I ask, taking a seat on the chair.
“I just finished practice,” Kyson says. “I don’t have to be back for a few more hours.”
“My carpets are being shampooed,” Meadow adds in. “I’m crashing here for tonight.”
“I enjoy your company. Kyson’s company...” I shrug making Meadow laugh cuddling up to Kyson more.
“Thanks, brother.” He narrows his glare. “Hey, how was your night? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Um...I didn’t come home.” I clear my throat.
“Really?” Meadow sits up. “Tell me all about it.”
I chuckle. I do love Meadow. She’s truly like the little sister I never had. “I stayed at Tim’s place.” I simply leave it there.
“Nice.” Meadow high fives me, and Kyson laughs at us. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. We’re going shopping today.”
“You coming to the game?” Kyson asks.
“I’m not sure. You leave in the morning, right?”
He nods. “Gone for four whole days.” He rubs Meadow’s back as she pushes out her bottom lip. “Aw, are you going to miss me?”
“Nah.” She plays it off. “Think of all the work I’ll get done.” She tries to keep a straight face, but easily giggles.
I smile at them as my phone vibrates in my hand.
Ready? Tim texts.
Yes. Let me know when you’re here, I send back along with my address. I think he’s been here before with Kyson, but just in case.
“Look at the grin.” Meadow teases me. “You really like him, huh?”
I nod. “I do. He’s super nice, we have great conversations, and it’s...comfortable.” I know I keep using the word over and over, but it is the best way to describe us right now.
“Think its love?”
Poor Meadow. The woman is obsessed with happily ever afters and fairy tales. She thinks everyone should have one. I love it about her, but I’m not there yet with Tim. I like him and he’s a great guy, but love? Nowhere near it yet; we just started.
“I like him. Let’s leave it at that.”
“I’m happy if you are,” Kyson says, rolling off the couch. “Now, I’m going to get something to eat.”
There’s my little brother: always caring about food. Although, he’s happy for me and I’m glad he is. I watch Meadow follow him into the kitchen, and I sit patiently in my chair waiting for a text from Tim.
It’s like watching a pot waiting for the water to boil before a knock comes at the door. When I open it, I’m surprised to see Tim.
“I thought you would text me?”
He grins. “I figured I’d come up and get you.”
“Tim,” Meadow says from behind me.
“Meadow.” Tim walks in and hugs Meadow. “You’re looking prettier every day.”
“Easy there, man, she’s taken,” Kyson calls from the kitchen, making Meadow giggle.
“How are you enjoying retirement? When do you start broadcasting?” Just like Meadow to ask a thousand questions at once. She’s nosy and freely admits it.
“It’s good so far. I mean, it’s only been a couple weeks. And I wasn’t supposed to start until after Ed’s contract ended, but I got a call this morning and they want me there for tonight’s game.” Tim sounds a little apprehensive.
Meadow beams. “That’s outstanding. I can’t wait to hear you call a game. You’re going to be great at it.”
He nods, but doesn’t respond.
“Well, we better get going then.” I pat his shoulder. “I’ll see you two later.”
After a round of good-byes, we’re finally out the door to his Range Rover. Tim is quiet all the way to the mall, and I know he seriously has something on his mind. I want to know so I can help him through it, but at the same time, he might be like Kyson, and he’ll talk when he’s ready.
“I’m a wreck,” he says when he shuts the vehicle off after he parks. “What if I screw up?” He lightly bangs his head a couple times on the steering wheel.
“Well, first, you don’t need a bruise on your forehead before you go on camera.” I pull him away from the steering wheel. “And, second, you’ll be great. It’s hockey, and no one knows it better than you. If it helps, just pretend you’re talking to me or the team. You’re an eloquent speaker. I’ve heard you.”
Actually, I’ve heard him more than once. He’s given many speeches around Manchester and at family events. The team always looks to him first to talk.
“It’s different this time,” he counters.
“True, but you said all your test takes went perfectly. This will be just as brilliant.” I take his hand and kiss his knuckles. “I promise.”
Tim smiles. It’s a small one, but he does. “Let’s go find some suits.”
After spending a couple of hours finding five suits, we are lucky only two of them need tailoring. Tim takes the rest home with him and asks if I want to grab some lunch. Of course, I agree, and we head to a small bistro. Tim has been quiet still, and I can see his hands shaking.
“Tim, are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. I’m just trying to get used to the idea of being on TV.” He gives another of his sad smiles.
“You’re going to be fine. Actually, you’re going to be great.” I sip my tea.
“I don’t why I’m this way. I think of myself as a confident person.” He sits back in the chair and looks up to the sky. We’re sitting outside at one of the small tables. It’s a beautiful warm day in October. “I know I sound like I’m whining.”
“You’re not,” I reassure him. “You are nervous, and I think it’s very understandable. However, you have nothing to worry about.”
This time, Tim gives me a full smile. “Thank you, Kian. It’s nice to hear, and I know you’ve said it ten times already.”
I chuckle. “I’ll say it a hundred more times if it’ll help.”
“Come on. Let’s get you home. I have to go over some more notes and stuff. Oh, are you coming to the game or listening to it?”
I tilt my head back and forth thinking of it. “If I’m at the game, then I can’t see you on TV, and if I watch it on TV, I can’t see it live with my own eyes.”
“So many dilemmas,” he jokes.
“I’ll probably stay home. This way I can catch all the instant replays and your commentaries.” I grin. Tim stands and winks at me, and I follow his lead as we head back to his car.
“I think Hamilton Baer is one of the best captains around, and this year is going to be his. He’s worked hard during the off-season, gaining almost ten pounds of muscle, and it’s helped increase his speed.”
I smile at seeing Tim’s serious face on my TV screen. He’s been amazing this whole game, as have the Bears. He’s right about Captain Hamilton Baer; he is the best. Tim is able to keep up with the players on the ice and is extremely informative without being a show-off or know-it-all like some commentators.
The game is good, even though the Bears lose by one. Nonetheless, I’m proud of Tim and Kyson, too. He got one assist, and I know he’s ready to be on top of the charts again.
I shut off the TV and clean up my dirty plate and glass after I sat and ate too many nachos with a glass of beer. I empty the clean dishes out of the dishwasher and add the dirty ones. I grab the clothes from the dryer and hang them up before taking a shower and heading to bed.
I grab my phone and send a text to Kyson letting him know he played a great game. It’s something I always do for his road games. I debate for a moment if I should send one to Tim, but I go with my gut.
Tim, great job! I knew you wouldn’t have any issues!
Once I’m comfortable under the covers, holding my book, my world stops. It hits me and I never thought of it before. I’m a house-wife, or better yet, a mother. I slam my book shut and toss it to the other side of the bed. How have I never seen this before? It shouldn’t be a huge shock to me anyway, it’s like I’ve not hovered over Kyson since the day our mother died.
I rub my forehead and then yank the covers off me. I need a job. A real job where there are adults, conversations, and interactions. I’ve been isolated too long.
And it stops now.