Chapter Seven
I can’t wait to get home to you.
I stare at my phone screen. The Bears have won their game by two, Tim was great announcing the game and even during the pre- and post-game shows. I sent him a simple text telling him how great he has been doing.
Then his text arrives.
I’m not sure why it’s thrown me for a loop. We call each other boyfriends. He knows I care about him, and he’s said it to me. No, we’ve not said the L-word; it way too soon for the big word. However, this text is making me think.
A lot.
I miss him too, even though we’ve talked every single day since he’s been on the road. I think it’s the word home wreaking havoc on me. Am I his home? Is he mine? I’m thinking too much, and I know it, but I can’t help it.
I need to stop acting like a child and get my head on straight. This is Tim. But, with Tim, and the past several weeks, our relationship has moved fast. Faster than I think it should, but a part of me wants it to move fast.
I’m becoming an analyst for no reason.
I stroll up and down the aisles at the farmer’s market, seeing if anything catches my eye. I truly miss Tim’s cooking. My food is nothing compared to his, and I’ve ordered more takeout than not since he’s been on the road with the Bears.
I pick up a bunch of spinach and check out the rich green leaves. My mind is wandering with a hundred things from Tim to work to Kyson, when someone taps my shoulder. Turning, my eyes meet Stan’s brown eyes.
“Stan.” It’s the first time I’ve seen him since our break-up.
“Kian, how are you?” He smiles.
Smiles? “I’m good. How are you?”
He shrugs. “Working hard and not sleeping enough.”
I nod. Stan works in the medical field as an administrator and is always working. “I understand.”
“What have you been up to?”
“Oh, well,” I know better than to say anything about Tim. I don’t want him to think I’m being rude and trying to show him up or anything. “I sort of quit my job with Kyson. I mean, I’m still helping, but I have a full-time job now.”
“Really?” Stan’s eyes widen. One reason he broke up with me was my close relationship with Kyson and how I coddle him.
“Yes. I’m the Public Relations Director for the Bears,” I state proudly. I should be proud of my title.
Stan’s speechlessness stuns me a bit. “Wow, well,” he clears his throat. “Congratulations. I wish you great success.”
“Thank you.”
“No, I meant it sincerely; I honestly didn’t think you had it in you.”
I take a step back. I should be offended by this, but I understand what he means. Hell, it wasn’t in me until he left me. I realized my life needs more. More of me.
“I’m sorry. I’m being rude and not I don’t mean to. You’re a very smart man and you know this. I just meant, I’m surprised. I truly thought you would be by Kyson’s side forever.”
This time I am offended. “I will be by Kyson’s side.” It’s the same argument that caused us to break up, among other things.
Stan looks away from me, taking a deep breath. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t be by your brother’s side. I told you were there too much.”
“You’ll be even more surprised to know Kyson is moving in with Meadow. He’s doing fantastic, and I’m proud of him.” I’m tired of hearing this from him, and I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm.
“Kian, I don’t mean anything by it. You know I don’t mean it.”
I let my anger subside and look back at him. “He’s my brother. Period.”
“I know.” He nods, letting go of my arm. “I didn’t come over here to upset you by any means.”
I study him for a moment. “I understand your opinion. I do, but…” I trail off because there’s no reason to waste my breath about the same subject. We’re not together, and it doesn’t matter anymore.
“Listen,” he steps closer to me. “I’m glad to see you, and I’m very glad to hear it’s going well for you. I hope it stays that way.”
“Thank you, Stan.” With those three simple words, I leave him standing there, go pay for my items, and leave.
On my way home, I think about the final argument with Stan when we broke up. The biggest issue was Kyson. The second biggest, how open I was? It’s true I’ve been gay my entire life, but only out for the past year. That’s mainly because Kyson caught us.
Now, I look at my relationship with Tim. When Kyson came by the night I received news of my job, Tim told me to go talk to Kyson. Stan would always groan when Kyson called me or needed me. There were only a few times that we had double dates with Meadow and Kyson and never was it just the three of us.
When Stan wanted to go out to office parties and events, I’d been more hesitant because I knew it would be a direct connection to Kyson and his career. Plus, I didn’t want to be his gay brother. I knew a few of his teammates knew of my sexual preference, but they were trusted. I doubted, and now know that Kyson didn’t just run off into the locker room and announce it.
After I walk into my apartment, dump my items in the kitchen, and pick up my phone, I send a text to Tim.
I can’t wait to see you too.
And I can’t wait.
The Bears and Tim are back in town. Tim asked me to go to lunch, but I seem to be buried in work. I told him I’d try, but made no promises. I want to make sure I show everyone I’m worthy of this job and not here just because I’m Kyson Wick’s brother.
As of right now, I’m the only one in my department who isn’t at lunch. It’s eerily quiet, and the only sounds are me pounding on the keyboard. The emails seem to keep multiplying, and I swear I have sent five hundred today.
“There’s my man hard at work.”
I glance up from the computer and see Tim leaning against my office door. Automatically, I smile and my heart skips a beat. He’s without his suit jacket, and his white dress shirt has the sleeves rolled up. His tie is loose around his neck. “Hi.”
Tim chuckles and walks in, shutting my door behind him. “I wanted to come by and at least say hi since you can’t make lunch.”
“I’m sorry.” I fully face him. “I’m a bit backed up.”
Tim waves off my excuse. “I know. I won’t stay long; I just wanted to see you for a moment.”
“I’m glad you did.” I stand up from my desk and stroll over to him, embracing him.
“I missed you.” He pulls back a bit and kisses me.
“Me too.”
“You want to have dinner before or after the game?” He still holds me.
“How about after? We can grab something and head to your place,” I suggest. “I’d…” I pause, wondering if I should say what I want to without scaring him off. “I’d like to talk to you.”
“Everything okay?” He takes a step back but holds onto my hands.
“I...I want to let you know some things I’m feeling and that are going through my head.” I’m not someone who can’t express himself, but Tim’s green eyes make me forget my name at times.
“Well, hey,” he runs his hands up and down my arms. “Is it something we can chat about now? I’m all ears for you.” He pulls me to the chairs near my desk.
I can see the concern on his face, and I can’t let him carry feelings of dread throughout the day and tonight when he’s to be on air. “I saw Stan.”
“Oh wow. What happened?” Tim leans in.
“He reminded me of why aren’t together anymore.”
Tim smirks. “Good for me.”
“Me too. He still holds a lot of animosity toward Kyson and our relationship as brothers.”
“It’s really ridiculous, and you know this. I’ve told you before.” And he has told me. “Don’t let him dampen anything about your connection with Kyson. It’s who you both are, and if he can’t see it, then you don’t need him in your life at all.”
A small smile twitches the corner of my mouth. “Thank you.”
“There’s something else.” He takes my hand. “Tell me.”
I stare deep into his eyes, and I know he wants to know. And I know I should tell him. “How out are we?”
He squints at me. “What?”
“How public are we?” I rephrase. “Are we telling people here? Or if we go out publicly, do we hold hands or what?”
“Kian.” He pulls my tie to bring me nose-to-nose with him. “We’re out. I told you; you are my boyfriend, and I don’t care who knows. I don’t hide who I am or who I’m with. Ever. I’m not going to start now, especially with you because you mean so much to me.”
“You mean a lot to me, too.” I close the distance and capture his lips. “It’s just fast and I’m not used to it.”
“Get used to it, because I’m here until you’re ready to get rid of me.”
I don’t know what came over me. Actually, I do know what came over me. It’s Tim. It’s Tim in my life and his words, the encouragement he gives me in the short time we’ve been together. I kiss him. Hard. Sliding my tongue in his mouth, I know this will escalate fast between us, and we are in my office.
I break away and rush over to lock my office door. Coming back to him, I jerk my jacket off, but leave my tie and shirt in place. I know this will be hard and fast, and just the way I want it.
I want it from Tim.
We both rush to undo our belts, pull our pants and boxer briefs down, and Tim pushes me over the desk, spreading my legs. I hear the spit on his hand and the sting of his penetration, but it’s a welcoming sting. I want him in me. My feelings soar for him with each thrust. It’s not about the sex. It’s about us and right now; he’s where I want him to be.
Hard and fast is exactly what he delivers, and I almost feel it’s something we both need to let each other know we are in this relationship together. Tim finds his release quickly, and as I’m still hard, panting his name, he turns me around quickly and sucks me off. Since I’m so close the simple swipe of his tongue and the tug of his lips makes me blow into the back of his throat faster than I can blink.
He’s mine, and I’m his.
I stand clapping as the third period starts for the New Hampshire Bears. I love hockey, just not the way Tim and Kyson love hockey. I’d messed around with it as a kid, but for them, it’s part of their soul. I’m just a fan.
I watch my brother take his position on the ice and stare down the puck. He’s like a magnet for the puck and knows exactly where to put it for his teammates to score. It’s why he’s the best in the league.
I cheer on Kyson and his teammates as each minute ticks by and the score seems to remain at a standstill of one to one. The game becomes more intense, and you can see how badly the Bears want this win.
It’s the last moment, and in an epic steal from Cabel Dirks, Kyson takes off with the puck, passes it over to Bas Zorn, and the red light flashes with the horn sounding a second later.
And the Bears get the win.
I feel as if I might lose my voice I’m cheering so loud. It has a playoff game type feel, even though it’s still the beginning of the season. I can tell this is going to be the Bears’ year.
I shuffle out with the rest of the crowd and go to the employee and player’s parking lot. I see some of the wives and girlfriends, but I simply smile and nod, until Meadow calls me over.
I give her a hug and say hello to everyone around her. “How are you ladies doing?” There are a round of fines and smiles as Meadow asks me about my job. I tell her how much I love it and I do.
“Dating anyone?” Harlow, Meadow’s best friend and editor, who's currently dating Keaton Jaco, asks.
Tim told me not even ten hours ago, he doesn’t hide his relationships. And I’m not either.
“Tim Gibbs and I are seeing each other.”
Meadow smiles as Harlow nods in approval. “He’s a keeper; I like him.”
I chuckle. “Thanks for your input.”
The girls go on chatting about other topics, and I feel at ease. Why had I been worried? There’s no need to be. The only people whose opinion should matter is Tim’s and Kyson’s and that’s the mentality I need to keep in the forefront of my mind.
The player’s door opens and the some of the team members begin filtering through to their wives, girlfriends, and families. And then Tim comes out. I know he finished quickly to hang out with me tonight since we both have to work in the morning.
Without a moment of hesitation, Tim comes right up to me, pecks my lips, and takes my hand. Together, as a couple, we say goodbye and head to my car, hand-in-hand. Having no need for two cars at the arena, Tim had taken a cab because I’m taking us to his place after we eat.
Tim suggests the steakhouse and we head in. Once we’re seated, the waitress comes over and we both order water. I’m not in the mood to drink because it’s late, and I do have to work in the morning. I think Tim feels the same way.
After we order our food, he starts talking about the game and such. I enjoy listening to his day and everything that is happening in the media department. You never really know what goes on behind the scenes until you know someone behind it. The research, the conversations with other announcers, the gossip, and trying to figure out what is true and not, is countless hours of Tim’s job.
He asks me about my day since he left me at lunch. I smile bright thinking of our quick romp in my office, but go on about the ins and outs of my day. Of course, I don’t think it sounds as exciting as Tim’s, but he listens and interacts with me. He seems to truly care about my day as I do his.
When we finish our meal, Tim suggests we go back to his place, and I’m glad I already packed a bag, which is sitting in my trunk. Going back out to my car, I come to the realization where my life is right now. This isn’t a rebound. This isn’t just some guy. There’s more there. I can feel it.
I’m quiet as I drive us back to his place. As is he. It’s not tension or uncomfortable silence. It’s us in the car, with the radio low.
Us.
Together.
Pulling into his driveway, my heart flutters a bit. I need to let out my feelings and tell him what I’m feeling. It’s time to step up.
We walk in together, and I take my bag up to the bedroom. Tim follows me. We both change into our pajama bottoms, and I sit on my side of the bed. He stretches out next to me and rest one of his arms behind his head and closes his eyes.
“Tired?” I ask, gently adjusting myself to rest my back against the headboard.
“I’ve had great sex, a day at work, and a filling meal. So, I’m a little tired, but in a good way.” He opens his beautiful green eyes, glancing at me. “Why?”
“I want to talk.”
“Okay.” He sits up and mimics my position. “I’m all ears.”
“I’ve had an epiphany of sorts.”
“And?”
“I’m falling in love with you. It’s insane, and I know it’s fast, but I am.” I say the words out loud, and I can’t take it back. There’s no delete button.
Tim seems to be taken aback. He’s either going to talk to me or tell me to get out of his house. “Do you think I’m not?”
My mouth drops, and I blink several times, trying to comprehend what he’s saying. “What?”
He smiles, sits up straighter, and looks me right in my eyes. “I’ve already fallen in love with you. I didn’t say it because I wanted you to make sure you were ready to say it.”
“Why?”
“Kian, you’ve been saying how fast this is going. I didn’t want to scare you off by telling you I was in love with you after the first time we had sex.” He takes my hand. “There’s something about you...it draws me to you...like a magnet.” His voice cracks. “I’ve never felt it with anyone, but I never want to stop feeling it with you.”
There have been two times I cried in my life: when my mother died and when Kyson was drafted. I can add this to the list.
“I love you, Kian. I want you in my life for a long, long time.”
I sniff and wipe the tears that have fallen from my cheeks. “No man in my life has ever said anything so sweet to me.”
Tim cups my face, pulling my lips to his. “I mean every single word.”
“I love you.” It easily rolls of my tongue and every cell of my body means it. “I want to be with you for a long, long time.”
That night we expressed our love with words and our bodies.