CHAPTER NINE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

S leep had eluded her. The few hours she’d managed were far from restful, tossing and turning in the big empty bed. Jill awoke with a weight on her chest as she pictured Luka’s handsome face distorted in pain. She hadn’t seen his eyes the previous night, but they haunted her all the same.

It was over. Her beautiful and unexpected interlude with the young stallion had come to a crashing halt. Part of her was relieved that she wouldn’t be keeping secrets anymore. But a larger part was devastated. In their brief relationship, she’d grown attached to him. His voice and lack of filter would be missed along with his body and the way he made her feel. She clutched the pillow and screamed into it.

“Answer my calls,” she yelled into the stuffed feather mountain.

Trust wasn’t inherent in all people and given Luka’s past, she could understand his need to protect himself. Being a hockey wife had forced her to trust implicitly or she would have driven herself mad. NHL players were away from home a lot. Traveling with Terry hadn’t always been an option, especially with kids. Jill had made the choice a long time ago to trust him. That turned out to bite her in the ass. So, more than ever she got why Luka had stormed off, but she wanted the chance to explain.

Having someone hate her grated against her heart. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything she could do to fix it. She reached over and checked her phone. Nothing.

A soft knock at her door and she bolted from the bed. “I’ll be right there,” she said, grabbing a robe off the bathroom door to cover her nakedness. Her heart beat faster, thinking it might be him.

She checked the peephole and disappointment followed. It was only Terry.

“What are you doing here,” she asked, opening the door only halfway.

He pushed it further and stormed past her. “I had a shit sleep.”

You and me both, she thought but didn’t verbalize. “Thanks for sharing.” She synched the robe tight and closed the door.

He jumped onto her bed and rolled onto his side. “I need you at the game. Before you say no like you’ve been saying, just stop protesting and come. Stop trying to hurt me.”

Jill crossed her arms over her chest. “The kids will be there with my mom. When I told you I wasn’t coming to see the game it wasn’t in protest. I’m busy. My life no longer revolves around you.”

Hurting him hadn’t been her intention when she’d declined her seat. She’d planned to keep as many hours as possible free to spend time with Luka. Those plans were gone.

“The kids want you to come. I asked them. Plus, I play better with you in the stands. Always have.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “When are you going to stop punishing me?”

She sank into the leather club chair as the fight in her gave out. “That was never my goal. I’ll come to the game because we’re friends. At least, I’d like us to be friends. We can’t go back to the way things used to be. I want you to be happy, but your happiness can’t depend on me anymore. I still want a divorce.”

“Don’t talk like that. I’ll never stop loving you.” He rolled to the edge and tossed his legs over. “Our family means everything to me.” His eyes implored her to listen to his lies.

She huffed. “Your family includes one additional little boy you refuse to acknowledge. Throwing money at his mother to keep them away isn’t okay with me. Our kids deserve to know their brother. You—”

“That woman is a vulture. Nothing but a gold-digging bitch. She trapped me on purpose and…” He ground his teeth and climbed to his feet. “They are not my family. We’ve discussed this to death. I don’t understand why you’re so fixated on this.”

He never truly understood her and the importance of family. Her parents had fostered children through the years, and those kids were her siblings in every way that mattered. Blood hadn’t been required to form those bonds. The fact he easily dismissed his own blood relative had changed her view of him. In reality, she’d pulled away long before he let his true colors shine.

“I want more babies,” she blurted. Her statement stopped him dead in his tracks. “You don’t and there is nothing left to say.”

“Fuck! This again. We can move past it.” He stepped in front of her and crouched down. “Our lives are full. Let me help you remember how full,” he said, gripping her knees with both hands.

She froze at the contact. Her eyes snapped to his as the meaning of his words sunk in. He wanted sex.

He licked his lips and slipped his hands between her legs, prying them apart. “I can make you feel good.” Terry groaned as her knees parted, giving him a view of her naked mound.

“No,” she spat with enough venom to kill a horse. Her knees slammed together, making her thighs jiggle. “Get out.”

“Relax,” he chuckled and removed his hands from her skin. “It was worth a shot. Babies on the brain means you want to make love.”

“Not with you,” she said through clenched teeth. The gall of him to think she’d ever sleep with him again after he’d been with someone else. The infidelity alone was enough reason for them to separate, but he acted like it was no big deal.

He stood and snickered. “At some point, I’ll move on and you’ll regret pushing me away. I am reaching the end of my patience, Jill.”

“I’m not the one with regrets,” she replied.

His smile conveyed his lack of remorse. In his mind, he’d done nothing wrong. “I didn’t come to fight with you. I just want you at the game. That’s why I came over. Oh, and to tell you Rianne snuck out last night.”

“What?” She jumped to her feet. Her eyes frantically looking for clothes.

“Calm down. She’s back already.”

Jill clutched her chest. “Why am I only finding out now?”

“Your mom called my room around three am, when she noticed our girl was MIA. Five minutes later, she showed up. It’s no big deal but thought you should know.”

No big deal? Their daughter was traipsing around downtown in the middle of the night. It wasn’t safe. “Are you kidding me?”

He held up his hands as if she was breathing fire. “Rianne said she couldn’t sleep and wanted space. Her words.” He rolled his eyes. “When I asked where she’d gone, she told me she stuck around the hotel and went for a short walk to get some air. Come on, you remember what it was like being a teenager.”

She did, and that’s what scared her the most. At Rianne’s age, she’d thought she was invincible. “I hope you told her that was unacceptable. She has to ask and tell us where she’ll be before leaving.”

“Your mom gave her a good lecture. I hugged her and went back to bed,” he said, stepping towards the door. “So, about the game.”

Watching the game would provide a distraction from missing Luka and worrying about her daughter’s sudden need for space. Too much head time wouldn’t be good on a day like today. “Fine, I’ll go to your game. Not because we’re a couple, but because my other plans fell through.” She shrugged her shoulders, trying to loosen the tension. “But I want you to—”

“Thanks! You’re the best,” he interrupted. “Catch you later.” He blew her a kiss and fled before she finished her sentence.

“Sign the divorce papers,” she yelled behind him.

The encounter with Terry set her off kilter. She showered to erase his touch, scrubbing her legs with more force than required. The heat soothed her muscles but not her heart. More tears flowed as she dressed and went through the motions on autopilot.

She’d made a royal mess of her life. Her ex wouldn’t let her go, her daughter wanted more distance and the man she desired wouldn’t talk to her. She couldn’t fix any of it. Being ignored pissed her off. The men wouldn’t listen to her, but her daughter deserved an earful.

Once in her mother’s room, she stared out the window. The city was alive and bustled through its morning routine. The boys were sprawled on the bed next to her mother in the bedroom, watching cartoons. Laughter filled the room. The two-bedroom suite looked like the mirror image of her room. She sat next to Rianne on the couch.

“So, I hear you had an adventure in the wee hours of the morning.” She kept her tone calm. “Where did you go?”

“I couldn’t breathe in here. Dad already knows all this,” she answered as she applied more black polish to her nails.

“I’m not Dad. Tell me why you couldn’t breathe.” Jill angled her body towards her daughter.

Rianne waved her hand to dry her nails and huffed. “I’m practically an adult. If I decide to take a walk, it’s not a big deal. I’m not sure why we’re talking about this. I was only gone a few hours.”

Her eyes widened. The overnight crusade had lasted far longer than Terry had led her to believe. “Hours. As in plural?” Teenagers had no sense of danger.

“Yup and I’m leaving now too. See ya,” Rianne dismissed her.

Her daughter grabbed her sweater off the chair and left Jill sitting there with her mouth agape. The door closed with a thud. She exhaled and sunk into the couch. This was not her day.

 

 

After breakfast at the hotel restaurant with the boys and her mom, her spirits were still low. She smiled, but it never reached her eyes. She wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Spill it,” her mother said as she cornered her near the elevators.

They were on their way back to the room to get ready for the game. “What are you talking about?” She pressed the call button and stared at her feet.

“You were walking on clouds at the airport last night and now you’re down in the dumps. I noticed your puffy eyes last night and again when you walked into my room.” Her mother placed her hands on her hips.

“I met someone. A really wonderful man,” she whispered. Her eyes tracked the boys as they stood by the water fountain.

“I’m not surprised. You’re a beautiful single woman. I’d think that would be a cause for celebration and not tears. What happened?” The doors opened, but her mother shook her head. “We’ll take the next one.”

She sighed, trying to collect her thoughts. “He’s not talking to me right now. As quickly as it started, it’s already over. It’s my fault. Only I don’t want things to be over.”

Her mother pressed the button for another elevator. “If you want this man. Make him listen and don’t take no for an answer. Men can be stubborn mules, but eventually they come around.”

If only it were that simple. She had no way of finding him. “Boys come on,” she called out. Wayne and TJ joined them when the next lift came.

Before leaving the hotel, they changed into their Montreal jersey’s and headed for the game. Rianne was MIA but sent her a message saying she’d meet them in the arena. The summer heat had arrived. Sweat dripped down Jill’s back as they walked a few blocks to the game.

The streets were littered with hockey fans. They had closed several roads, allowing the party to take over the city. The energy was palpable. A mix of adrenaline and excitement replaced the melancholy she’d been feeling before. It was impossible not to get caught up in the hype of a big game.

The sweaters they wore over their jerseys were overkill in the heat. They removed them once they sat in the arena. Their section contained a lot of Montreal fans, but bright white dominated the crowd. It was loud and vibrant. She’d forgotten how much she loved the vigor of a live game.

As the players skated onto the ice, her heart raced. The crowd roared for their home team. The noise was deafening. Her boys wore their ear protection and Jill hoisted TJ in her arms, so he could see his father on the rink.

The fans remained on their feet as they announced the starting line-up. She stared at the men and fell into her seat when she saw him. Not in the crowd but on the Jumbotron with a white jersey on his back. Luka Pedlanski played for the opposition.

An old picture of him with the long, light colored hair and a clean-shaven face was displayed. The same photo that had fooled her at home. She focused on his face and there was no mistake. It was him. Those dark, intense eyes were too distinctive. Then the camera scanned the ice and displayed the current view of her bearded lover.

She’d found him.