SUNDAY. BAKHTIARI POLICE Station, Erbil, Kurdistan.

Erin watched Riley’s face. The muscles in his cheeks, around his mouth and eyes, were tight. The difference was in his eyes. The smile didn’t linger. There was no good humor. He couldn’t fucking look at her.

He’d felt something for her, even if it was just lust. But now he was scared and running.

She was beginning to remember why she didn’t date. Why it was better to be alone. After getting out of the army her tastes ran in one direction—to guys like Riley. And they were all a little battered. She got that. Her pieces didn’t fit quite right, but she made it work. Maybe Riley wasn’t there yet. It wasn’t her problem if he couldn’t figure his shit out.

And here she’d wanted to invite him to Miami for a long weekend. Fuck that. He was doing her a favor showing her this side of him before she let herself get any more wound up by him.

Erin needed that box. She couldn’t believe that everything they thought could help solve this mystery was gone. They might as well have killed her, too.

Melody’s heels signaled her return.

“You can go,” Erin said and took a step back, putting distance between her and Riley.

That little muscle at the corner of his jaw twitched. He wasn’t happy? That wasn’t her problem. She wasn’t the one who’d changed their colors and become an asshole. Sure, she was guilty of feeling too much, or letting her imagination get away with her, but at least she’d treated him with respect.

Riley didn’t move. He remained where he was, staring at her, partially blocking the door so Melody had to squeeze past him. Her gaze bounced from Erin to the box and away.

Bits of shredded paper fell from the gaping hole in the side of the box.

“Shit,” Erin muttered. Her heart fell. Whatever chance she’d had of figuring out why she’d been kidnapped was in that box.

Melody set the box on the table then slid the change of clothes off the top and turned toward Erin.

“When you’re done, we can leave. The officers are going to give us an escort to the airport.” She handed the change of clothes to Erin. “I’ve got a few things to sort out, so let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Melody.” Erin stared at the top of the battered box. When they’d left her office it’d been a near perfect white thing. Now the corner on one side was flattened. A hole the size of her fist was in another side and every time the box moved it rained paper.

Melody turned on her heel and strode out of the room. Oddly, Riley remained. He stood at the end of the table, a safe four feet or so away.

Whatever.

She didn’t need him.

Erin pulled the top of the box off and stared down at pages all twisted up and mangled. Her heart lodged in her throat at the sight of what was in the middle of that mess. What’d stopped the bullet. She reached in and grabbed the photo albums she’d tossed in as an afterthought.

The files she’d taken care and stacked neatly in their folders, working from one end to the other. Only, there wasn’t enough to fill the box. She’d put the various drives and discs on the other side, and her odds and ends got tossed into the middle of it all. The bullet must have hit the box, tore through the files before the photo albums stopped the slug from reaching Riley.

She could even tell where the bullet had eventually been stopped, lodged inside a cheap album she’d used because she was too busy to find something else that summer. She thumbed through the ruined albums. Some pages were melted together from the heat created by the bullet’s passing. Bits of paper puffed up in a cloud.

To think, if they’d done one thing differently, they might not both be there.

She glanced at Riley, staring at the albums. His wide eyes and raised brows said it all. Even he hadn’t realized just how close they’d come.

They’d gotten lucky. Real lucky. The kind of luck that didn’t happen every day, and it’d struck twice for them.

Erin wanted to hug him, to squeeze him so she was positive he was still alive, but she didn’t. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes, saying a silent prayer. This went into the stack of things she’d never tell her parents. Maybe not anyone.

They were alive. That was what mattered.  And now she was going to get to the bottom of why. Why had this happened? Why her? What had she done or knew that was worth all this?

The pictures could be replaced. She’d backed everything up a week ago. The files were another matter. She didn’t know what they were, so it was hard to figure out how to ask for copies.

“The drives all look okay.” Riley leaned over her shoulder and reached into the box. He rummaged around in the other side, picking up discs and drives.

The broken pieces of her mug clinked together. Another keepsake gone.

She glared up at him, more for her own sake. She needed to remember he wasn’t there for her. He was there because that was what he was paid to do. And he was an ass. The longer she held onto the hurt and anger, the more time she had to escape this before she fell apart.

“It could have been a lot worse. I need a bag or something I can put what isn’t damaged in, please.” She blew out a breath, her side throbbing.

Right, she couldn’t do deep breaths. Not for a while.

“I can do that,” he said.

“Do you know if anyone got my laptop?” she asked.

“Yeah, Melody said she had a lot of stuff packed up for you.”

“I’m going to want that for the plane.” Erin could spend the twelve plus hours traveling going over the drives. They still might have something useful in them.

Riley didn’t respond. She still felt a wall of cold coming off him.

An hour ago, she was telling herself to ease up, don’t dive too deep. They barely knew each other. And now he was treating her like a stranger. The rejection of a man she’d known for single digit days should not hurt this bad. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the prickling to stop. She would not cry over someone like this.

She sucked down another big breath and the stab of pain caused her to hiss. She blinked several times, grateful for a reason that wasn’t her dumb emotions to blame her almost tears on.

“If Melody comes back by, tell her I’m in the bathroom.” Erin didn’t wait for Riley to say anything. She scooped up the clothes from the table and walked out across the bullpen where the officers were working toward the bathrooms.

Erin could do with a few moments to herself and a quick wash. Her frilly white top was dirty and shredded in the back where the bullet had hit her vest. The bright pink pants were torn from where she’d crawled around on glass. Some water on her face, a minute to herself, and she’d be fine. Once they were in the air, she could order a round of something strong to help deaden the pain both inside and out, but for now she’d have to soldier through.

She’d called Erbil home for so long that it felt strange to want to leave. A few years ago, she’d assumed this was where she’d live out her life, doing something that mattered. Eventually she’d find someone. Probably a foreigner. Someone who didn’t have archaic ideals about a woman’s place. With any luck, they’d have a happy life. But now all of that was reduced to shredded paper and misplaced wishes. She’d had a dream and a vision for herself before this, something that didn’t involve death. But it’d found her, nonetheless.

Erin retreated into the bathroom. She bent to check the stalls, ensuring she was by herself. Satisfied she was alone, she dumped her clothes on the vanity and covered her face with her hands.

It was easier to be hurt and pissed off at Riley. She understood what was going on with him. Everything else was so much bigger and scarier than what she could handle on her own. All she’d ever tried to do was her job. This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

The bathroom door opened.

Erin turned and twisted the handle on the tap.

Melody took a few steps into the bathroom, hands clasped in front of her. Like every other time Erin had seen her, the woman was dressed professionally. This time in a dark gray pant suit with some sort of shimmery white shirt. The way Melody stared at Erin put her on edge. It was like Melody could see into the heart of Erin’s problems.

“Has anyone talked to my family yet?” Erin asked to say something.

“No, when I spoke with Riley he said you wanted to do that.” Melody took a few steps toward her until she was at the far edge of the vanity.

“I have to call them and tell them I’m coming home.” There wouldn’t be any ducking questions then. At least she’d have more pressing things to think about than Riley.

“I can arrange that.”

It would be good to go home and see her family. Figure things out. Chances were, she could squeeze some sort of severance package out of NexGen to tide her over for a while.

“Thanks.” Erin tucked the clothes under her arm and pushed her hand through her hair.

“How are you doing? Really? Did Riley do something?” Melody leaned against the sinks, hands at her hips.

That last question stopped Erin in her tracks.

Her silly heart clenched at the sound of his name.

She barely knew the guy. Her attachment was born out of a high stress situation and vulnerability. That was it.

“No.” Erin cleared her throat. “Everything’s fine.”

Melody didn’t respond, but Erin knew the other woman didn’t believe her. Hell, Erin didn’t believe herself.

“I’m just going to change.” Erin ducked into a stall and closed the door.

“Do you want a hairbrush? Toiletries?”

“That would be nice.” What she wanted most of all was to be alone for her pity party.

“I’ll be right back.”

Erin listened to Melody’s heels on the tile. The opening and closing of the door.

She leaned against the wall and stared at the ceiling tiles, counting them off one by one. She took comfort in the rhythm of the numbers, the logical flow of adding one more.

It was like the impact of the bullet had knocked her insides all around. She desperately wanted to hold onto something. Someone. She wanted out of here. Away from the secrets and lies. When she’d been in the army, she’d expected to not like every order. She’d trusted the commanding officers and done her part. Getting out had been about choosing her path and being done with the war and bloodshed. Instead, it was still there. Only now it was in the shadows, being covered up so no one was the wiser.

She couldn’t do this anymore. She needed to be free. To do something else with her life.

Erin pulled off her top and let it fall to the ground.

She’d let herself believe in ideals and things that didn’t exist. Was there anything good in the world?

Riley was good even if he was being stupid.

She wanted to hug that man. Hang onto him. But that would only push him farther away. Not to mention she’d create an even bigger crutch for herself than she already had. This was something she needed to do on her own.

Erin had to figure out what came next, and then she could worry about the rest.

The bathroom door opened and a staccato tap tap tap broke Erin’s peace.

“Erin? You still in here?” Melody asked.

“Yeah. Almost done.” Erin pushed the pink pants off. The delicate material hadn’t stood a chance.

She pulled on the t-shirt and yoga pants, grateful to shed a little of the day’s horrors. She blotted her unshed tears with tissue and flushed the evidence of her feelings. That done, she exited the stall.

Melody stood leaned up against another sink, already watching and waiting. Erin’s toiletry case from her condo was on the counter along with her hairbrush.

“Thanks for packing up my stuff like this,” she said.

“It wasn’t a problem.”

Erin glanced at the other woman. No matter what happened, she wore a smile. It wasn’t even a fake smile. Erin could hear it in the way Melody spoke. She was quiet, unobtrusive. How often had the meathead guys on the team underestimated her?

“Is this what your job is normally like?” Erin grabbed the brush and attacked her hair.

“My job is rarely predictable.” Melody chuckled.

“Are all your jobs this...scary?”

“To a degree. Usually the scary stuff is over pretty fast, and then it’s just a matter of getting home. I’m sorry this has been such an ordeal for you.”

“At least we’re all alive.” Erin’s throat closed up and the dam she’d erected to hold back all her fears cracked. She dropped the brush into the sink and covered her face.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay.” Melody was there in an instant, offering Erin a tissue and stroking her back.

“I’m fine,” Erin snapped.

“Of course.” Melody took a step back.

“Sorry.” Erin squeezed her eyes shut. “It’s just... I’m starting to question everything. You know?”

“I’ve been there.” Melody’s smile disappeared behind a grimace.

The woman had stories. Despite the polished exterior she showed the world, there was more to her.

Erin and Melody turned to face the stalls, staring at nothing, neither speaking.

“Keep a secret?” Melody glanced at Erin.

“Sure?”

“I questioned everything, too.”

“That’s your secret?”

“No.” Melody smiled, but for the first time it wasn’t happy. “I was a hostage negotiator for six months. Grant and the team don’t know because...I don’t want to be in the field, but I still want to be part of something. Our boss knows, but he was kind enough to omit that part of my resume.”

“Wow. That’s not a small secret. What made you quit?” Erin cringed at the poor word choice.

“During the six months I was on the job, we averaged two hostage situations a week. I went on over forty calls. My save rate was almost perfect. I was good at it, but I realized that just because I was good at what I did, it didn’t stop the bad guys. I couldn’t stay on the force knowing the difference I made didn’t change the bigger picture, so I left and went into communications. Public relations. Easy stuff. The bad guys wore suits and smiles, only now there wasn’t anyone to intervene or stop them. I kept my head down for years, just doing the job.”

“You regret not being a cop anymore?”

“No, but I do regret going in the opposite direction. I went from a place where I could make change to being as powerless as the victims.” Melody shivered. There were still demons she wasn’t sharing.

“Don’t go too far in the other direction?”

“Something like that.” Melody glanced at Erin and smiled, this time with feeling. “Think about what you want to do. Make a plan. You don’t seem like the kind of woman who wouldn’t, just...”

Erin knew Melody was talking about her career and the future of her professional path, and yet that wasn’t where her head went.

Riley’s goofy, stupid face popped to mind.

She’d never been good at the temporary stuff. The only reason it worked was because the men in her life came and went faster than she could fall for them. She’d already spent too much time with Riley. She’d shared too much of herself. Which was why his rejection hurt. It was a defense mechanism she’d used. He wasn’t really letting her in or being honest. It was all a lie.

“Grant’s going to start knocking on that door any minute.” Melody straightened. “Can I do anything else for you?”

“No.” Erin turned and picked up the brush. She tackled her tangles, which would have to be enough for now.

“Is—it’s none of my business—you and Riley...?”

“It’s nothing.” Erin tipped her chin up. The more she said that, the more it would become true.

“Oh.” Melody glanced away.

“If you like him—”

“What? No.” Her eyes went wide, mouth open in horror.

Erin sputtered a laugh.

“No, that’s not...” Melody held up her hands, mouth working without words.

“It’s okay. I just assumed.” Erin shrugged.

“Sorry. Riley is nice. He’s a little hard on the nerves, kind of like a kid brother, but that is not—no. Not for me.” Melody shook her head.

Erin finished taming her hair and turned her attention to the other contents of her toiletry bag.

“What I meant was—you and Riley seemed to have hit it off, and now I can’t help but notice things seem strained.”

“They are.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.”

“I’m not going to leave a bad review or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“What?”

“I mean, you probably know we slept together. I’m not going to trash talk your company because I decided to mess around.”

“Oh. Well, thank. For the record, I don’t ask, and the team doesn’t talk about those...interactions.” Melody clasped her hands in front of her. “It’s just...Riley. He’s always friendly, but he’s been different. I’ve never seen him personally invested in an asset like this before. I feel a little kinship with him. Riley was the first to really treat me like I belong.”

“The big sister talk then.” Erin smiled. She’d given a number of those chats to her sister’s boyfriends, backed up by a few of her army buddies, over the years.

“What you two do is your business.”

“This really isn’t like me.” Erin zipped up her toiletry bag and braced her hands on the vanity. “I never fucked around when I was enlisted, I just...”

“It’s different when you’re part of it. Two weeks after I left the force, I started dating cops. Dating might be a little too generous a word.” Melody’s cheeks tinged pink, and she glanced away.

Erin chuckled despite her heart beating painfully against her already abused ribs. She didn’t know what came next, and that was okay. She had time to figure it out and nurse her bruised heart.