Chapter 31

Janna

I sit waiting for the car to pull off, not certain whether I’m in a rush to get home to restore my equilibrium or if I’d prefer to steal every moment I can with this enigmatic man beside me.

“Janna,” his hand comes out and cups my face. “Having you beside me this evening has been torture.”

For him, too?

Removing his fingers, he taps both hands on his knees. He looks down at his fingers beating out a rhythm, and when he turns to face me, he looks unsure of himself. “Janna, fuck it. I don’t want to simply take you home.” Raising one of his hands, he brings it up to caress the side of my face. “I’ve missed you.”

I swallow. Seeing him again, all my thoughts that I was moving on, getting him out of my mind had proved to be so wrong. Unable to find the words to explain, I give a little jerk of my head, hoping the action will convey that I’ve felt the same.

His eyes stare into mine, so intently I want to turn away, but the touch of his hand has my head held in place. “Janna, our relationship,” he breaks off, trying to gather his thoughts. “I don’t do relationships, you know that. But there’s something between us, something I still want to explore, and I find I’m still not ready to give up on that.”

Once again I nod, fearful of saying the wrong thing, waiting to hear what he’s going to suggest.

“My club, my lifestyle, it’s important to me.”

My eyes widen a little, I’m not sure where he’s going with this.

He gives a short laugh, “I’m a fucking Dom, Janna, yet I’m find it hard to put this into words. So I’d like to show you instead. What would you say if I wanted to take you to Club Tiacapan? Tonight?”

What would I say?

When I don’t immediately answer, he asks me again, “I don’t want to let you go, not right now. Will you consider coming to my club?”

Christ! That wasn’t what I expected him to say. His club? His BDSM club for goodness sake. And if we go there… “Now? Tonight? To play?”

He glances back with a dark look on his face, “Yes.” His tone is gruff, as though he’s barely keeping himself in check. “You’ll be my submissive.”

My teeth find my lip and worry at it. What he’s asking is a long way from anything I’ve experienced before, and it scares me a little. “What would I be agreeing to, Jasim? What would you expect?”

“Are you worried I’d hurt you?” When I raise my shoulders, he offers a reassuring smile. “Have you heard of the phrase, mind fuck?”

I haven’t, but I can guess what it might be.

He looks at the glass between us and the driver, as though ensuring our conversation will be private. And even then, brings his mouth close to my ear. “I get off on your fear, of you not knowing what to expect, of being able to take you to places you never dreamed of going.”

“But that includes pain.”

“Have I actually hurt you before? When I spanked you, you liked it.”

And I can’t deny that that’s true.

“In a sexually charged situation, your brain translates what you’d otherwise reject by releasing endorphins. When you’re tied up and helpless, leaving yourself open to anything I want to do, your fear of the unknown increases your arousal, and that does the same to me too.”

“How do you know what I would and wouldn’t like? What if you took it too far?”

“That’s why we have safewords. If you had more experience, we’d be discussing your limits, what you do and don’t like. But as you’re a novice, we’ll both be finding our way. And I’ll be taking it slow. I’m an experienced Dom, Janna. You’ll find me stopping before you think you’ve had enough, I can read the signs of your body.”

Already I’m starting to feel the arousal he’s speaking of. I was brave in the desert, I told him I could match him. And nothing he did there took me too far. But the idea of going to his club where experienced people play, both excites and scares me, there would be opportunities and the equipment to do so much more. I feel my cheeks flush, and that’s when I know that I’m going to say yes. How could I pass up this chance to learn more about his life?

“So will you try it? Come and be my submissive tonight?” He takes a deep breath, and seems to hold it, waiting for my answer.

As his submissive. Not as his wife. Not as someone he wants any other relationship with. But wasn’t that all that was ever on offer? I knew that when I gave him my virginity, so nothing has changed. But the chance to give myself to him again, to feel him take charge of my body? For the first time in three months, I feel alive.

“Yes,” I breathe, answering him with no hesitation, pushing to the back of my mind any thought of how I might regret it tomorrow.

A quick knock on the glass, a hasty instruction to the driver, and this time, when he takes my hand, Jasim raises it to his lips and kisses it. “Tonight, you’re mine, Janna.” His deep velvety voice washes over me as he clarifies, “Your body belongs to me. Can you give me that?”

Like a switch being thrown, tingles of anticipation start to run up and down my spine. But it’s his club, and we’ll presumably be playing in public, and my arousal is tinged with trepidation which the bastard probably knows and likes. “What can I expect? I’ve never been to a club before.”

A smirk and a chuckle shows that I’m right. “It will push you, for sure. But isn’t that just what I’ve always done, habiti?” He has. And everything he’s done, I’ve enjoyed. “If you reached the place where you were so uncomfortable you couldn’t take any more, and I’d missed the signs, your safeword will stop everything. I’d be troubled if you held it back. But my aim is not to push you so far.”

“I’ve no idea what to expect.”

“That’s part of the thrill. Isn’t it?”

Not knowing what I’m going into, having to trust him completely. As a delightful shiver overtakes me, I can’t deny my underwear is getting soaked.

“Just the thought is turning you on.”

Jerking my chin, I admit that my smug sheikh is completely right.

Before long we’re turning up a long driveway and coming to a halt in front of massive wooden doors. The chauffeur again does his job opening doors and allowing us out, then the limousine drives away, leaving us standing at the entrance. As Jasim puts his hand to my back, I’m aware I’m shaking. But along with my anxiety is eagerness, and I’m impatient to see what’s a very big part of Jasim’s life. He’s allowing me to see the real him.

Wasting no time, he opens the door and encourages me into a reception area, and I’m slightly disappointed there’s no intriguing equipment immediately in sight. Apart from the ornate decoration as befits a mansion three hundred years old, there’s just a desk that could have been in any foyer in any office building. Except, that is, for the scantily clad woman sitting behind it with her breasts hanging out in full view.

“Jasim! It’s good to see you. It’s been so long since you’ve been here. When did you get back?”

“Gloria. Good to see you too. I only returned last week. I was away longer than expected.”

My mouth drops open, and a warm glow rises inside as it becomes clear he had contacted me almost as soon as he’d gotten back. I’d been wrong to spend sleepless nights worrying about him playing with beautiful subs in his club. He hadn’t even been in the country.

“And who’s your guest?”

“Let me introduce you to my wife.” His words make me start. I didn’t expect him to be so open. Though I know it’s the role we’ll need to play for another nine months, that he’s so circumspect about it is surprising. I’m not the only one to be taken aback, his receptionist’s jaw almost hits the floor.

She recovers fast. “Well, let’s get you set up.” When she brings out a box from under her desk, Jasim reaches inside and pulls out two wristbands.

“White for you, so everyone knows you’re a novice.” I blush at that. After a moment, he reaches up and his fingers trace my neck, “Have we got any training collars handy, Gloria?” he asks over his shoulder.

“Yes, somewhere. Hang on, how’s this?”

“That will do fine.” Jasim turns back to me, and a narrow band of red leather comes into sight. “If a sub’s not collared, she’s considered fair game. I’ll put this on you for tonight, habiti, so people know you’ve been claimed.”

If a strip of leather protects me from unwelcome advances, who am I to complain? At my nod, he passes it around my neck, locks it, and pockets a key. Surreptitiously, I touch my fingers to the collar. That I can’t take it off makes me feel I’m already under his control. But I’m fooling myself if I believe I haven’t been since the moment he picked me up tonight.

“Have a good night,” says the receptionist cheerily, and then I’m being pulled by my hand into the first BDSM club I’ve ever been in in my life.

At first, I see nothing. This is just an entrance hall, with cloakrooms off to either side. A fleeting glimpse, then he’s encouraging me through the next door, which opens into the club proper. And oh, hell. My eyes go so wide I think they’ve taken up all of my face. The size of the interior, the equipment and stage areas, takes me by surprise. I’ve never been exposed to anything like this before. Reading about such places is one thing. Seeing it is quite another. It’s busy and crowded. So many people, some nearly naked and others completely so. As well as the sights, there’s the sounds. The air’s tainted with the odour of sex and arousal. My breath leaves my lungs and I want to turn tail and run.

“Er,” I pull back on his hand, “I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

“If you’re not, if you really can’t try, I’ll take you home.” He stares into my eyes, and his fingers rise and touch the pulse hammering in my neck, “I know it’s a lot to take in, especially as it’s your first time.” He breaks off and gives a low laugh, “You trusted me with your first time before. Can you trust me now? Try for me?”

I remember this is his environment, he owns the club. This is his lifestyle which he’s allowing an insight into. Trying to swallow down my fear, I remember he’s done nothing to cause me harm, nor anything I didn’t enjoy. He’s pushed me, and that’s what he’s doing now, even though I believe he’s skating along the lines of my limit. But if I want to know him better, understand him, I should at least give him a chance. This is all he’s going to offer me. If I mess it up now, I might never see him again.

As his fingers squeeze my hand, I give a little jerk of my chin to let him know I’ll try.

He points at my wristbands, “There’s a two-drink limit per member for anyone wanting to play. We’ll go to the bar and you can have something to help steady your nerves. Then, if you’re ready, we can try a small scene. If you don’t want to play tonight, I’ll understand. There’s no need to be worried. I appreciate how overwhelming it is.” He smiles down at me, “You’re not the first new sub who’s been terrified at first.”

That the club has a similar effect on other newcomers makes me feel slightly better. Nodding nervously, I take my first step into the room. The music isn’t loud but it’s a thudding rock beat, and screams and shouts of pain and satisfaction mingle to form a cacophony of sound. Almost too afraid to look in any direction, I let him lead me across to a bar, behind which is standing a jovial man.

“Master J!” he calls out as we approach. Then his eyes fall on me, and on my collar. “I heard you got married. Congratulations! Fuck me, never thought I’d see the day. And you’ve collared a sub?”

The way he says it, he could be talking about two different people. The spouse and the play partner. Is he suggesting Jasim’s cheating? Little wifey left at home? Is that what people here would expect?

“This is my wife, Ralph. And she’s my sub.” I’m glad he cleared that up, though the thought of him coming to play with another sub creeps into my mind. I realise he’s still speaking to the bartender, “Could you watch her for a moment while I go and get changed. Janna, you’ll be quite safe here with Master Ralph. I’ll only be a minute.”

“Yeah, I’ll do my babysitting stint. Off you go, Master J. What do you want to drink, sweetheart?”

My face drops as I see him walk away, I don’t want to be left on my own. But Master Ralph is smiling warmly, and I remember my manners. “I’ll have an orange juice please.” Recalling I’m supposed to give over one of the wristbands, I reach to take one off. A meaty palm stays my hand, “No need for that if you’re just having a soft drink.”

“Oh, okay. It’s my first time.”

“I can see that, sweetheart.” He gives me a cocky grin then leans his elbows on the bar, “Now, what do we call you?”

“My name’s Janna.”

“Is that what you want to go by in the club?”

Well, what else would anyone call me? Then it dawns on me, he’s giving me the choice of anonymity. I shrug.

“Guess you’ll have to think about that.”

As someone calls him away to get them a drink, I bravely turn and look out at what’s going on behind me. There, on a spanking bench close by, and in full view of everyone, a sub is screaming out her release. I thought I’d be disgusted, instead I feel envious, wishing that was me, rubbing my thighs together to ease the ache inside. Feeling braver, I watch someone else, a sub on her knees serving her Dom. Bloody hell, it’s all a real-life porn show. I didn’t appreciate it would turn me on. No wonder the guys were wary about me being exposed to all this.

Quickly looking away, I scan the large room, but although extreme petting is going on, no one’s having full on sex. Or not that I can see. And then my eyes fall on Jasim who, true to his word, hasn’t left me for long and is now walking toward me. And, oh, shit. If I needed anything else to arouse me, the sight of him in tight leather trousers and a bare chest covered only by a leather waistcoat hanging open would serve that purpose. He’s striding straight for me, another grin on his face.

“Ralph been looking after you?” As I nod yes, he indicates the area behind him, “I should have explained some things before. I had no expectations of bringing you here tonight, I’m doing everything the wrong way around. I’ve been remiss in not preparing you. You’ll only be playing with me, pet. Normally you’d have paperwork to complete, but as I’m the owner I’m vouching for you, okay? Right.” He pauses, scrunching his face, “There’s no penetrative sex in the main room. Private rooms are available for people who to go further. You see the people in orange vests?” He points one of them out. “They’re dungeon monitors who make sure everything is safe, sane, and consensual. If you ever shout out your safeword, they’ll coming running to help.”

“Even if I’m with you?”

“I might own the club, but I’m still subject to the rules. Some I might be able to bend, such as letting you in without completing the documentation, but not that.” He waits for the information he’s given me to sink in, but before he can speak again, another man comes up to us. He’s looking paler and less robust than when I last saw him.

“Ryan, mate. Good to see you.” Jasim takes his arm and pulls him in for a man hug. “How the fuck are you doing?”

Ryan nods at me, “Hi, Janna,” before turning back to Jasim, “I’ve only got another week or so tied to the desk. I can understand now why Sean was going stir crazy confined to the office.”

Jasim’s still got hold of his arm, and as I watch I see his face fall, “Man, I’m so sorry.”

“What the fuck?” Ryan glares at him. “It’s my job. I know what I signed up for. Let’s not go through this again.”

It sounds like a discussion they’ve had before. Jasim’s worried glance at Ryan signifies he’s not convinced, but the scowl on the bodyguard’s face stops him from saying anything more. After a few seconds, he shakes his head and turns away. Something catches his eye. “Can you wait here with Janna a sec, Ry? I’ve got a piece of equipment to reserve.”

At Ryan’s understanding smirk, Jasim disappears again, and my narrowed eyes follow him, wondering what he’s up to.

Ryan touches my arm. I already know he’s a man of few words, so I’m surprised when he starts talking. “He’s feeling guilty, Janna. But he’s got no reason to.”

I look up at him, and point to the scar visible on his chest, remembering their conversation and putting two and two together. “Because you got hurt?”

“Yes. When you disappeared, Janna, he started taking risks. Exposing himself when he shouldn’t. That day, I warned him not to go to check on the pipeline. I’m his bodyguard, for fuck’s sake. Now he thinks he put me in danger by ignoring my advice. But it wasn’t a specific threat, just my inclination to keep the person I’m protecting away from any front line. If I’d known for a fact there were insurgents in the area, I wouldn’t have let him go. I’d have found some way of stopping him, even if it meant locking him in a room. It wasn’t his fault.”

I nod to encourage him to continue, it’s the most I’ve ever heard him speak at one time. He’s telling me this for a reason. It makes sense, Jasim’s an honorable man, and if he thought he was in any way to blame for putting someone’s life in danger, it would be bound to hit him hard.

“You said he took risks after I’d left?” I shake my head, not understanding why he’s talking like this. Had my leaving affected him?

As if to assuage any responsibility I might feel, Ryan shakes his head quickly, “Whether your leaving was the cause, or whether being in Amahad for longer was getting to him, it’s impossible to say. But it’s undeniable he became more careless. Oh, someone else might not have noticed, I doubt if he knew himself. But I know him too well.”

“He didn’t like that I left without explaining.”

“No man likes that, Janna.”

I look down at my feet, and then at Jasim who’s doing something across the room. “I didn’t think he’d care. We married for a reason.”

Ryan’s hand touches my chin and raises it so I’m forced to look him in the face, “It was an extreme solution. Just telling Fadi he’d claimed you might well have worked.”

If he’s right, there was no need for the marriage. Was I put in this position for nothing? I dismiss the idea, “But it might not.”

Ryan gives a little jerk of his head, I can’t read whether it’s in agreement or dismissal.

For a short while my mind’s been taken off why Jasim’s brought me here. But as he comes back with a knowing smile on his face, my nerves return to me fast. Without saying a word, he puts his arm around my shoulders, and nodding at Ryan, leads me away. We cross the crowded room and approach a stage in the corner. Taking pride of place is a big cross. There’s no one else close by, I presume this is the equipment he’s reserved for us to play. I swallow a few times as he speaks to confirm my fears.

“It’s a St Andrew’s Cross, and I want to tie you to it.”

Okay. Nervously I ask, “And then what?”

He’s standing behind me, my back pulled into his chest. I can feel his arousal, hard and evident, his cock jerking in his leather pants. His mouth nuzzles my neck, and a tingling feeling banishes some of my fear. Whatever he did to me in the past, it was all for my enjoyment. Can I trust him to take care of me now? I’ll try. Taking a deep breath, I try to settle my nerves.

“I want to blindfold you, then you won’t be so aware of your surroundings, and hopefully not so worried about being on display.”

On display? He’s not suggesting what I think he is, is he? I focus on the blindfold. “And I won’t be able to see what you’re doing.”

“Exactly.” I feel warm breath on my ear. “You liked the flogger, didn’t you?”

“Is that what you’re going to do? Flog me?” He’s right, I did enjoy it. Just the thought of what he’s asking is making me wetter. Around me are cries of pleasure and pain, the music’s thumping, my clit throbbing in time. I’m scared and apprehensive, but so bloody turned on. I’m probably going to do whatever he wants.

His hands caress my arms, “You have your safeword. We use the traffic light system at Tiacapan. Red, for stop, green if I check in and you’re doing okay, and yellow if you want me to slow down. Got it?”

“Red, stop. Green go. Yellow ease up a bit.”

“Good girl.” He pauses for a moment, just the light touch of his fingers is making me tingle. “First though, we need to get you out of these clothes.”

Naked? “What, all of them?” I turn around, and try to plead with my eyes.

“You’ll be facing the cross. All anyone will see is your arse. And that’s if they look. Habiti, you’ll be just another body to anyone who sees. No one will censure you here. Now, are you going to be brave for me?”

Am I? It’s what he wants. Can I take that leap of faith and trust him? I eye up the others in the room, all concentrating on their own play. Apart from my lack of clothes, is it much different than being on stage?

His hands are running up and down my arms, his mouth nuzzling at my neck. “I’m pushing you fast, I know that.” He pauses, and for a second his hands still. “Too much perhaps. Janna, I’ve dreamed on having you here, but if you’d prefer, I will take you home. Or we can just watch others scening, whatever you want is perfectly fine.”

That might be the words that have come out of his mouth, but what will happen if I give up and let him take me home? The way I’d ensnared him was to tell him I could match his appetites, and unless that was a lie, I can’t bow out now. This lifestyle means everything to him, my chances of seeing him again, touching him, will probably be nil. “You want me to do this.” I know that he does, and how important this is for him.

“I do.” His voice tremors with tension, “Will you try?”