Chapter 19
Gemma
“You really have to stop smiling like that Gemma. It is getting annoying.”
“It is fine, really Caroline. I don’t know why you are so sour lately.”
“It’s because you are just too damn happy for your own good. I am glad it all worked out, don’t get me wrong, but you are positively glowing. You hear people say that, but you really are.”
I smiled at my cousin and I felt my cheeks getting a bit red. It had been a month since I had seen her and all she had talked about was how different I was. Could I be that different in a few weeks? I sure felt different, like everything was finally going the way I wanted it to. I didn’t even know that I was missing Keenan until I had him. Now I can’t even think of what life would be like without him. I didn’t even want to think about it.
“I am happy. I didn’t think I would be, but I am.”
She looked at me confused and I forgot for a moment that no one really knows the truth of me and Keenan. I had kept it a secret because I was embarrassed, but now I didn’t want anyone to know because I feel like it would have slighted our love story. I married him because I was forced into it, but I love him because of the good man that he is.
“You didn’t know if you would be happy? Then why in the world would you marry him in the first place?”
Her question had me stumped. I really wasn’t sure what to say and instead of answering I just shrugged it off. “You know how marriage is. It is either really good, really bad or you just exist.”
Caroline didn’t understand because I was not doing a very good of explaining it. “I don’t know Caroline. I was just worried about what was going to happen. It turned out better than I would have hoped for and now I am glad it happened.”
My wording wasn’t right and she was always looking for some gossip, but I wasn’t going to give it to her. Instead I asked her how she was doing. I had gotten a wedding invitation recently and I asked her about it.
“It looks like you are going to be just as happy as me soon enough.”
That got Caroline off me and she smiled in a way. “Yeah, he is nice. I don’t know if William is perfect like Keenan, but we can’t all marry rich billionaires, can we?”
I hadn’t met the new guy. I felt guilty that I had been so wrapped up in my own life that I hadn’t even had time to see about hers. I hadn’t even heard about this guy a month ago and now she was getting married. It just didn’t make any sense and I was finding that I was the one that wanted to put two and two together.
“So where did you meet William?”
“At work. You know some of us still work for a living.”
It was a dig at my easy life, one that I had guaranteed marrying Keenan, in more ways than one. I didn’t want it to be seen that way, but I could see it from her point of view.
“So he is a photographer?”
She nodded her head. “Yeah and it was love at first sight or something like that. I just knew.”
I smiled at her. It hadn’t been that way with me and Keenan. I hadn’t known till the moment I did and that was a bit of time after we had gotten married.
“I am happy for you. It is about time we found some good guys. I want to meet him.”
“You will.”
We finished shopping through the skirts that we had been going through and were about to leave when I saw someone that stopped me in my tracks. I saw a ghost and not only did I see him, he started to come towards me as if he was looking for me.
“Gemma. I have been looking all over for you!”
I stammered out his name, but I didn’t know what to say past that. Caroline did though.
“Raphael? Is that you?”
She was just as shocked as I was. We had been a lot closer when I found out that Raphael died. My father told me and showed me a news clip about it. He had been in an accident and he was so bad off that they had to have a closed casket service. I was playing this all in my head when I saw him in front of me.
“You’re dead.”
Raphael smiled. “No sweet Gemma. I am here. I am not dead.”
I didn’t know what to say and the more I thought about it, the more questions started to play out in my mind. If he was here, who did we bury? Why don’t I get this? Did I miss something?”
“No you are dead. I buried you in a hole in the ground Raphael. You were on the news. I know you are dead.”
My voice was rising and the few people on the streets close enough to us were giving me a sideways look and I didn’t care. How could this be?
“This is just what your dad wanted you to see. He made me leave and he told you what he had to so that you would get over me. You know that he never wanted us to be together. But now there is nothing to stop us. We can be together now.”
Raphael started towards me and while a moment ago I had drunk in his face, there was something in me, nagging that this just wasn’t right. I don’t know how it was wrong, just that it was. I knew that I was never going to understand this. I needed answers and the last thing that I wanted was for him to touch me.
I took a few steps back and he stopped. ”What is it?”
“How did my father convince you to leave Raphael? If you really loved me you would have stayed and fought for us. Instead you let me think you were dead? Do you know what that did to me?”
He put his head down and it was then that I noticed how long his hair was. It covered his face and he looked darker like he had been in the sun a lot. Where had he been?
“I’m sorry Gemma, I really am. It couldn’t be helped. You know how your father is.”
“Yes I do. I also know that he always makes a good deal, so you must have gotten something out of it. He would have offered you something, so what was it?”
I had gone from shock, to missing him to not quite believing him. Why was he here all of a sudden when everything in my life was finally going right?
“It wasn’t like that.”
“It was Raphael. I have known my father my whole life. He always finds a person’s price, so I want to know what the price was for us?”
“You don’t want to do this Gemma. It wasn’t like that at all. You are reading into it all wrong.”
I shook my head. I knew that there was more to it than this and the more he didn’t want to tell me about it, the more I felt like he was just lying to me anyways.
“So just tell me what it was that my father offered you to do this to me Raphael?”
“I didn’t think this was going to go like this Gemma. I have wanted to see you for so long. I regret what happened, more than you will ever know. You have to believe me.”
“I am not the same girl that was crushed so long ago Raphael. I have mourned you for years. I will no longer since you are right here. But I have to know what it was that our relationship was worth. What was worth you doing this to me?”
“A million dollars.”
My heart wrenched in my chest and though I had known as soon as I seen him what really happened, to hear it out of his mouth was another thing altogether.
“So you did this all for money?”
Raphael was quiet and so was Caroline. For her that was a miracle and I knew that her mind was running a mile a minute. I couldn’t believe that dad would do this, but then again I could. I had known him for all of my life and he would get his way, one way or another. Maybe he had done me a favor with Raphael, but I would never forgive him for it. He could have told me instead of letting me think that he was dead the whole time.
“I had to Gemma. You know what I had going on in my life. Mom was broke and it just worked out that way. She found out about the offer and wouldn’t let me tell him no.”
I just shook my head. I was still in shock, but it was another feeling coming over me. How much time had I wasted grieving over this man? Too long I decided and I didn’t know what else to say. I had a new life that didn’t include Raphael. He was not the man that I had thought he was. He was not the man that I had mourned. That Raphael was dead, at least to me.
“It is good to know that you are still alive Raphael. Thanks for letting me know after all of this time.”
He was frustrated that I hadn’t reacted the way he wanted me to. I don’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t this. He had this look in his eyes that he couldn’t believe I was turning him away. Did he really think that we would somehow be together? Surely he wasn’t that stupid, not after me finding out the truth?
“I love you Gemma. I have always loved you.”
I wasn’t going to hear it anymore. There was no way that he loved me like he said he did if he was capable of doing something like this to me.
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have done this to me Raphael. You would have known that this was going to kill me. I loved you too and losing you was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.”
“Then if you love me and I love you, why can’t we work this out?”
“Because there is too much between us and I am married now Raphael. You couldn’t have done this a month ago?” Even as I said it, I knew that I wouldn’t change meeting Keenan for anything else in the world. I knew now that what I had with Raphael hadn’t been love. It was exciting and I liked being wanted, but at the end of the day, I wasn’t in love with him like I am with Keenan. I couldn’t think of life without Keenan, ever.
“Do you love him Gemma? Do you love him like you loved me?”
I thought about it for a minute and I really didn’t have to think about it that long. “Yes Raphael, I love him more. With him it is real and I know he wouldn’t take a million dollars to leave me. He loves me too much.”
“That is because he is a billionaire Gemma. A million is nothing to him. Would he really choose you over all of his money?”
I knew that Raphael didn’t know anything, but I didn’t like the answer to his question. I would never say it out loud, but I would have to really think about it. I had thought that what we had was real, but hadn’t Keenan done all of this so that he could have more money, even though he had enough?
I liked to think that it was different because he didn’t know me then. Now he wouldn’t do something like that… I don’t think so anyways.
When I walked away from Raphael, I knew that part of my life was over, but I didn’t like the uncertainty that I had now. What if what he said was true and the man I loved and was married to was no different?. How much would it take for Keenan to do the same thing?
It had me wondering what his price was going to be. My father used to tell me, “Gemma, everyone has a price.” Now I wanted to know what my billionaire husband’s price was.