Lotty tucked another blanket around Ty’s feet. The sun had disappeared and with it, the warmth in the air. She wrapped another blanket around herself before stepping out of the tent and walking around the two sleeping hens. Jason sat on a log, poking the firewood with a stick. “I’ve never seen the boys go to bed so easily,” he said. “Ty didn’t ask for any stories or songs. There was no battle trying to get him in his pajamas. Aiden didn’t shriek or throw anything.”

“I know,” Lotty said. “And they’ve been in bed for at least five minutes and neither of them have tried to get up even once. That’s definitely a record.”

Jason scooted over and made room for Lotty on the log. She sat down and they watched the flames in silence. “I like it out here,” Lotty said.

“Me too.” Jason moved a large piece of wood causing flames to pop and sparks to fly.

Jason poked some of the coals around with a stick and then stood up. He walked to the van, pulled something out, and tossed it at her. Lotty ducked and whatever it was landed in the weeds behind the log.

“Nice catch,” he said with a smile as he walked behind the log to retrieve the item.

“I don’t know what it is. When I see random objects flying at my head, I duck.”

“You think I’m going to throw something at you that will hurt you?”

“No, I just didn’t have time to think about it.”

“Okay.” He grinned, holding up a bag of marshmallows before tearing into it. “I’m going to toss one of these dangerous marshmallows at you now. You might want to catch it this time.” He made an exaggerated tossing motion as he threw it to her from less than two feet away.

She caught it as he held a stick out to her. She shoved the marshmallow on the end of the stick and held it over the fire. He did the same, except put his directly into the flames. She shook her head and laughed. He’d always claimed he liked them better when they were burnt. “You still have no patience,” she said.

“I have plenty of patience. It’s all about efficiency. I’ll have cooked five in the time it takes you to cook one.”

“No, you will have burned five. You’ll have nothing left but charcoal and I’ll have a beautifully browned marshmallow.”

He laughed. “To each their own,” he said, tapping his roasting stick against hers as if making a toast. 

They roasted marshmallows until neither could eat another. Lotty couldn’t remember the last time they’d talked and laughed so easily, which seemed especially odd considering the predicament they were in. Somehow, it still seemed like the perfect evening.

She slid onto the ground so she could lean her back against the log. “Why did we stop going camping?” Lotty asked. The words were out before she thought about what she was saying. She knew why. He’d ditched her and gone to Phoenix, she’d gone to California hoping he would chase her, and their relationship had been hanging by a thread ever since. Spending time with one another in the great outdoors where the silence demanded conversation and sleeping in a small tent with each other had not been high up on either of their to-do lists. 

Jason turned to her and held eye contact for several seconds, his smile fading. “I don’t know. Probably the same reason we stopped talking to each other.” He turned his attention back to the fire. Things were back to feeling awkward. She leaned her head back and looked at the stars. The night was clear and the stars bright.

She could feel Jason’s gaze on her so she turned her face toward him. His eyes seemed to reflect the firelight. He had something to say, but he didn’t say it. “What is it?” she finally asked.

He held his stare for several seconds longer before moving onto the ground next to her. “Lotty, why didn’t you tell me you were depressed after Aiden was born?”

Lotty closed her eyes. She didn’t want this perfect evening to be ruined by this. “I, uh, I guess I thought you knew.”

He shook his head. “How could I have known?”

“How could you have not known?” She rubbed her face with her hands. “I was a mess. I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“I figured it was just lack of sleep,” Jason said sheepishly.

“I’m sure that added to it.” She stared back into the flames. “I guess I tried to hide it to some extent too. It was embarrassing that everyone around me could snap right back after having babies and I was in a big, dark pit I couldn’t crawl out of. I wanted so badly to feel like I had right after Ty was born, but it wasn’t the same.”

Jason set his hand on hers. “I’m sorry,” he said. Lotty looked up and met his large, brown eyes. The shadows made his dark lashes appear even longer. “If I could go back and change things, I would try to help more.”

“My post-partum depression was not your fault.” It sounded curt and she hadn’t intended for it to sound that way. It was just that there were things she’d longed for him to apologize for and her depression was not one of them. Still, he was trying so she added, “But I appreciate you saying it.”

He nodded, but didn’t look content.

A coyote howled in the distance causing the hens to bolt to their feet. They both squawked and flapped straight into Lotty’s lap. She petted their backs until they calmed down and she turned to Jason. His serious expression had changed to a smile. He raised one eyebrow as he watched her with amusement.

“Okay, I have another question,” he said. “Why the chicken coop? And I mean the real why. Not because you wanted fresh eggs and compost for some imaginary garden.”

“You don’t like fresh eggs? It seems very un-Montanan of you to want to force me into buying store-bought eggs.”

“Right. That would be horrible.” He stared at her waiting for more.

“I just wanted to find something I was good at,” she said, looking away. It sounded so pathetic. She hoped it was dark enough he couldn’t see the color rush into her cheeks. “I needed a hobby and a coop seemed like a good idea at the time.”

She smiled and looked at him, hoping he’d do the same, but he was serious. He squinted at her, analyzing every word she’d said.

“I wish you could see you the way I do.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “You’re so hard on yourself. You may not be able to bake like Susan Becker or keep up a blog like Nikki,” he said, quoting things Lotty had complained about. “You don’t have Jocelyn’s passion for working out and you don’t display your children’s works of art like the lady at the gym.” She wished Jason didn’t feel the need to remind her of her failures. Did he think this was helping her feel better about herself?

He continued, “You can’t add the best qualities about everyone you know and expect to be the sum of them. No one could ever match up to that standard, but you have talents others don’t have.” Jason’s earnest expression surprised Lotty. Their serious conversations which weren’t fights were as uncommon as, well, as camping with hens. She thought he was done so she opened her mouth to thank him, but he kept going, “You are the most patient mother I know. I don’t know how you do it. You have an amazing business sense. I know that doesn’t mean a lot to you right now, but you’ll use it again.” Lotty turned away so Jason wouldn’t see the tear rolling down her cheek. Hearing him compliment her had a strange impact on her emotions. “You’re beautiful. You’re witty and intelligent.” The tears picked up their pace. “Now if you could just master roasting a marshmallow.” He shrugged and Lotty laughed.

“I’ll have to work on that,” Lotty said. 

“You really will.” His smile turned serious once more. “You don’t need to excel at everything to be great, Lotty.”

She wiped her tears on her sweatshirt. Jason started to move closer, but Princess hopped out of Lotty’s lap and stood in between her and Jason. A soft growl filled the air.

“Did she just growl at me?” Jason asked.

Lotty laughed. She’d never heard a chicken growl before, but there was no denying that’s what Princess had done.

“Maybe I’ll stay where I am,” Jason said with a smile.

Lotty stared back into the mesmerizing flames as she fought to keep her eyelids open. They slowly drifted shut until the howls of coyotes woke her with a start.

“Now how does that wake you instantly, but you can sleep through screaming and squawking when we’re in the car?” Jason asked as he got to his feet.

“Because in the car the boys are safely buckled into their car seats. They can scream, but I know they’re fine. Out here, anything can happen.”

“Hmmm,” Jason replied as he put an arm around her and helped her to her feet. She liked the closeness and held onto him longer than necessary. Bea, who was in Lotty’s arms, didn’t like the movement and flapped her wings.

Lotty released Jason’s hand. “I didn’t think about the coyotes. We can’t leave the hens outside.”

Jason walked behind the picnic table and pulled out a crate Lotty kept in the back of the van to put groceries in. “That’s what this is for.” He took Bea out of Lotty’s arms and set her next to Princess Sophia. Then he covered them with the crate and used the extra tent stakes to hold it to the ground. The hens settled in without protesting. Jason set his hand on the small of Lotty’s back as they walked to the tent. He moved it so he could unzip the door and Lotty immediately wanted it back.

Jason shone the flashlight inside the tent and Lotty carefully stepped over the boys. She snuggled down inside her sleeping bag and pulled it up to her chin. Jason dropped onto their air mattress and into his own sleeping bag. Though they were on a queen size mattress, they were close enough Lotty could feel Jason’s breath on her neck. His breathing got deeper and settled into a rhythm. She loved listening to it and knowing he was next to her. She thought back to several of the nights after Aiden was born when she lay in bed next to Jason listening to his breathing, annoyed that it was so loud. Now she savored every second.

While she had been exhausted by the fire, now she couldn’t sleep. She thought about what Jason had said. He’d called her patient, beautiful, and intelligent. Those were adjectives she hadn’t used to describe herself in years. She scooted her sleeping bag back several inches until she could feel Jason against her back, but something in her mind made her hesitate. It screamed at her to stay away. He could hurt her again. He could leave her again, and maybe this time he wouldn’t come back. She tried to ignore the feeling and focus on the boys. She listened to their little breaths and smiled. It seemed her whole world was tucked safely inside a tent in northern Idaho.

* * * * *

SUNLIGHT PEEKED THROUGH the unzipped door of the tent and the scent of pancakes filled the air. Lotty pried one eye open to find herself alone in a mass of sleeping bags and blankets. As she unzipped her sleeping bag, the cold bit at her. Picking up her pace, she wrapped a large quilt around her and made her way toward the fire.

“You’re ambitious,” she said to Jason, nodding toward the pancakes grilling over the fire.

“Mama,” Aiden shrieked, running to her. 

“Dad gave Aiden Cheerios and he spit them on the ground,” Ty said. 

Jason shook his head. “The kid will gobble up dirt and dead beetles, but he looks at me like I’m trying to poison him when I give him a Cheerio.”

Lotty laughed and hugged Aiden. “Did you spit out Cheerios?”

“No, no, no,” he sang. “No Cheo.”

Jason finished making the pancakes and they sat around the picnic table eating. Jason told them about a great place to swim. Ty spent the next two hours asking, “How long now?” over and over. When it was finally warm enough for swimming, they packed up a bag, put the hens on leashes, and walked the half mile to the swimming hole.

Lotty sat on the bank with Aiden while he dug in the dirt and stomped around in the shallow water. Jason was out deeper with Ty. Every few seconds, Ty yelled, “Dad, watch this,” or “That wasn’t it. Watch again.” She leaned back on her elbows as Aiden slapped dirt onto her legs. She relaxed with the warm sun on her face. This trip should be stressful. She was running from someone who intended her a great deal of harm. She knew this was only stalling the inevitable. Kimberly would leave a message telling them when to come back and they’d have to return to their normal lives, to face whatever was going on in the neighborhood. Yet somehow, she was happier than she’d been in a long time. 

“You look way too comfortable,” Jason hollered from the water. He swam toward her. “I had no idea that swimming with Ty actually meant adjusting goggles, re-applying sun screen, and watching this for ninety-eight percent of the time.” 

“Want to trade?” she asked. “Aiden’s happy as long as you’ll let him cover you in dirt, but I’m getting a little warm.”

“Sounds good to me.”

The cool water refreshed Lotty’s sweaty skin. She waded out to Ty. Her eyes wandered around as she feigned interest in his tricks that all looked the same. The sun shimmered across the water. Little bits of snow were still visible on the tops of the mountains and fragrant smells made everything seem more beautiful.

She and Ty made their way back toward the bank. “I love the smell here. Is it the lilacs?” she said when she got close enough Jason could hear.

“Sure, if the lilacs are covered in poop,” Jason replied with a sour face. “Did you bring another diaper for him?”

“It’s in the bag,” Lotty replied.

“I think I traded at the wrong time,” Jason said, changing Aiden. “And judging by this diaper, there’s a pretty good chance Aiden ate a marble yesterday.” 

“Ewww,” Ty said and Lotty laughed. She hadn’t seen this lighter side of Jason in almost two years. This break from reality was giving her and Jason a second chance. She watched him laugh with the boys, and as they headed back to their campsite, she couldn’t stop watching his every move.