I’m a father.

Jo’s words hit me like a freight train going three hundred miles per hour. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything. I simply lay there, mouth hanging open like an idiot, staring at the beautiful naked woman in front of me.

The mother of my son.

“I’m sorry,” Jo said again, reaching out to touch my shoulder. She pulled her hand back when she realized what she was doing like she thought it was inappropriate. After our vigorous romp in the sheets, it was anything but. “I never should have kept this from you. Are you okay? Do you need me to give you some time? I won’t be mad if you want to leave.”

I shook my head and frowned. “No. I don’t want to go. I just…” I trailed off, unsure of what I should say.

“Zach?” she whispered, eyebrows drawn together in turmoil.

“I’m a dad?” I asked. The word felt so strange on my tongue.

Jo nodded. “You are.”

I pressed a hand to my forehead and then ran it through my hair, which was damp with sweat. Back at the pub, the thought had crossed my mind that Sam might be mine. But all the chaos with Brett had chased it from my mind. Now that it was out in the open and real, everything had changed.

“Are you mad?” Jo asked. Her eyes were glassy.

“No.” I shook my head. “No. I’m not mad. How could I be mad?”

“Because I never told you,” she said, and her voice cracked. “You should be angry. I would be. I deserve it. You can yell at me if you want. I understand.”

“Jo, stop,” I said firmly, cupping her cheek. “I’m not mad. I promise.”

A tear slipped down her cheek and rolled along my thumb. “How can you not be?”

I shrugged and wiped the tear away. “I don’t know. But I’m not. I’m just… sad that I missed out on five years, I guess. Just like that.”

Jo’s eyes widened.

“And sorry that I wasn’t there for him.”

She started sobbing. It wasn’t quiet, gentle, sad sobbing either. This was hard, violent, out of control crying that had me panicked. I grabbed her shoulders and drew her into me, where her tears wet my chest. She clung to my shoulders and brought her knees up. I held her tightly and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t cry,” I said. “Please don’t cry. There’s nothing to be sad about. Everything is okay.”

“I didn’t think you’d want him,” Jo whispered.

“What? Why?”

“Because,” she said, her voice almost hysterical. “Having a child would be so hard on you while you’re in the Air Force. And I knew what it meant to you. It meant the same thing that the Coast Guard did to me. I didn’t want you to be forced to give that up. If you had to walk away from that life, I wanted it to be on your terms.”

“I would have chosen you over the sky any day,” I said.

She cried harder. Why was I so incapable of saying the right things?

“Jo,” I said, forcing her to look up at me. “Enough of this. You didn’t do anything wrong. Listen. I’m here now. And so are you. We have a chance to make things right.”

“Make things right?”

“Yeah. When can I meet him?”

Jo froze. Her lips were slightly parted, and she sucked in a sharp breath. “You want to meet him?”

“Of course I want to meet him! He’s my boy. I want to know everything about him. I want to teach him shit. What doesn’t he know yet?”

Jo laughed and wiped at her eyes. “A lot of things. He’s only five. Well, almost five.”

“Can he ride a bike?”

“With training wheels.”

“Fuck yeah,” I said. “So I’ll be there to go down to two wheels. Can he throw a baseball? Catch one? What does he do for fun?”

“Um,” Jo said, half laughing and half crying. “He’s not really into sports. He’s more of a science kid. He likes chemistry and making things with his hands. He’s fascinated by electricity and random stuff like that.”

“So he’s a little genius?”

“I’m biased.” Jo nodded. “But I think so. Yeah. He’s got some issues, like all kids, but he’s really smart and always eager to learn new things.”

“Issues like asthma?” I asked.

Jo cocked her head to the side. “How did you know that?”

“Ryan told me before I headed over here,” I said, tucking the strand of strawberry blonde hair that always managed to fall free from behind her ear. “And he told me about the panic attacks.”

Jo nodded slowly and looked down, where she began playing with a loose thread in the seam of the bed sheets. “Yeah. They started when he was really little. Only two. Then the asthma started last year, and each episode leads to a panic attack because not being able to breathe scares him.”

“Rightfully so.”

She shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah. It’s a vicious cycle. He’s better than he used to be, though. Progress is progress. I’m a bit worried about putting him in school next year, though. When he freaks out, he needs me. No one else, besides Ryan on a rare occasion, is able to calm him down.”

“A momma’s boy,” I said knowingly.

Jo smiled and nodded.

“Like his dad,” I said. Jo giggled. “That feels really strange to say.”

“I bet,” Jo acknowledged.

“So come on. When do I get to meet him?”

Jo pushed herself up so that she was sitting cross-legged. I followed her up and sat in front of her, our knees pressed together. Had my mind not been consumed by the new information that I was a father, I would have ravaged her naked body again—and then maybe one more time for good measure. She looked around at the mess of a room and sighed. “I think we should give it a couple of weeks before you meet Sam. Maybe let the dust settle after this madness with Brett. He was in Sam’s life for a while. Kids like Sam need consistency, and this will be a big enough adjustment on its own.”

“All right,” I said, even though two weeks sounded like an eternity. “Makes sense. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

Jo gave me a soft smile. Her cheeks were pink, and her lips were swollen. She was so damn beautiful, it hurt to look at her. “Thank you, Zach.”

“For what?”

She shrugged and looked down. “For being the kind of guy I wanted as a father for Sam.”

“Are you trying to sweet talk me?”

Jo glanced up and laughed. The sound was vibrant and carefree. She rocked back and nodded. “Maybe a little bit. Think you can handle two weeks?”

In all honesty, I wasn’t sure. My stomach was already swirling with nerves. Meeting my son would not be a walk in the park. There was a lot of pressure, and I could already feel it building after only minutes of finding out. But I nodded anyway. “I think so. There would be something that could make the wait easier, though.”

“Oh?” Jo arched an eyebrow.

“You and me,” I said. “Let’s give this thing a shot.”

“This thing?” Jo asked playfully, cocking her head to one side. Her smile was flirty and shy and too sexy for her own good.

“Yeah. What do you say? Let me take you out a few times.”

“Like, on dates?”

“Of course on dates.” I chuckled. “What did you think I meant?”

She shrugged and bit her bottom lip. “Maybe I just wanted to hear you say it.”

I took her hands in mine. “You want to give us a shot, pretty girl, or what?”

Jo answered me with a kiss. It was soft and gentle and easily the most intimate kiss I’d ever shared with a woman before. Her tongue traced mine, and her hands held my face, her palms whispering against my almost fully grown-in beard.

“Is that a yes?” I asked.

“Hell yeah.” She nodded. Then she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Not to be rude, but you need to leave.”

“Sorry?”

She nodded and rolled off the bed. As she padded over to her closet, she glanced back at me. “Rosie will be back with Sam shortly, I bet, and I think it would be best if you weren’t here. I’ll explain everything to him about Brett and spend some time with him to see how he’s doing.”

I got off the bed too and went to her bathroom, where I pulled the condom off my cock. I was already hard again. “I don’t want to leave you with this mess to clean up.”

“It’s fine. I’ll see if Rosie can stay and help. It won’t take long.” Jo slipped into a loose white sweater and a pair of black leggings that made her ass look unreal. I came out of the bathroom and gave it a slap before I went out into the hall and gathered my clothes. She watched me as I got dressed and looked disappointed when I pulled my shirt on. “Sorry to kick you out.”

“Don’t be,” I said, going to her and giving her a kiss. “It makes sense. Sam needs stability, right?” I went into the living room to grab my gloves.

She smiled. “Exactly.”

We walked to the front door, and I stepped over the threshold, pausing to look back at the beautiful woman I was leaving behind. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Not as soon as I’d like, but yes. Soon.”

I nodded and put my back to her to cross the lawn. I stooped to grab my helmet from where it lay on the grass and pulled it on. After tightening the chin strap, I tugged my gloves on and got on my bike. Jo was still standing in the open door, and she waved as I pulled away from the curb. I waved back and took to the road, knowing there was one place I had to go before I did anything else.

I had to tell my mother that she was a grandma.

The news would be the best thing for her right now. Not only did I know it would help her immensely, but I needed someone to share it with. Excitement and fear had taken up residence in my chest, and I needed to talk to someone about the massive changes on the horizon.

How was I going to become a father overnight? What would Jo expect of me? Would Sam even like me?

As I rode down winding back roads, I started to realize how unprepared I was for something as big as fatherhood.

I’d have to learn on the fly like I did with most things. At least I had Jo. She would be there to help me through the learning curve. And my mother always gave great advice. Ryan would be a good shoulder to lean on, too.

Or he’d be pissed that I was the one who knocked up his sister. I hadn’t thought of that. I thought over how that conversation was likely to go. Hopefully, he wouldn’t think less of me, and he’d be happy to have me around more to help raise his nephew.

I was the father of Ryan’s nephew. Crazy.

I continued riding, an unease growing inside me as I contemplated just how much my life was about to change. There would be no going back after I met Sam. I wouldn’t be the kind of guy who committed and then got cold feet. Hell no.

The boy needed a father. And I needed Jo.

And I needed to know my son.