Chapter Thirteen
It was easy to disappear in Sin City. When they hit Vegas after driving for far too freaking long, Maddox knew they could get lost in the pool of people. Money had been stashed in the SUV. Plenty of cold cash because obviously Adam Brock had been planning ahead for his escape with Luna.
They used the cash to get a room. He picked a small motel on the edge of town, one that would be far enough off the radar that he didn’t think their pursuers would be able to find them. It was just a pit stop for him and Luna. They needed to crash. Shower. Get new clothes and food.
Then they could hit the road again.
At that moment, Luna was in the shower. He could hear the water pouring down over her body. He’d wanted to join her in there, but, hell, with everything that had happened, he wasn’t quite sure how Luna would feel about picking up where they’d left off in the safe house.
She trusted me.
She could easily have thought he was the monster. The bastard who’d hunted her down. But she hadn’t. She’d gone into the fire to pull him out.
He stripped off his shirt. Tossed it across the room and rubbed his chest. Did she realize he’d been telling her the stark truth? Every time they’d had a mission that had taken her life, he’d felt ripped open. He’d had to fight the clawing darkness in his head.
Because when she woke up, he lost her.
She stared at him as if he were a stranger. Because to her, that was exactly what he was. He lost Luna over and over. And he nearly went mad.
Henry hadn’t been wrong when he said that Maddox wanted her so badly. There was nothing in the world he wanted more than Luna.
Not his past. Not the life he’d once had.
Nothing.
The shower had shut off. When he focused, he could hear the faint drip, drip, drip of water. He turned toward the bathroom door.
It opened a moment later. Luna stood on the threshold, a white towel wrapped around her body, and her dark, wet hair fell around her shoulders. Faint drops of water clung to her skin.
Arousal hit him hard. His dick jerked eagerly even as Maddox found himself advancing on her.
“Shower’s all yours.” She stepped to the side, waving her hand. “I know you want to get the ash off.”
No, he wanted to get her towel off. Wanted to rip it aside and put his hands all over her. But when Maddox glanced down at his hands, he saw the dark marks on them. “Shower first.”
He’d get his hands clean, and then—
“First?” Luna repeated.
He brushed past her. “Then we’ll get you something to eat.” Take care of her. He cleared his throat. “You must be starving.”
“I am.”
He started to shut the door.
“But I was really hoping we’d fuck before we eat.”
Maddox whipped around to face her. He’d misheard. Must have. Absolutely.
“Did I say the wrong thing?” Her gaze searched his face. “I thought you might join me in the shower, but you didn’t—”
“You still want me.” After everything…after Henry, after Adam, after learning that he’d lusted for her before Lazarus—
“Of course.” Luna wet her lips. “Don’t you want me?”
“Only every time I draw a breath.”
Surprise flashed on her face. Okay, shit, his voice had been guttural. And he smelled like fire and had ash and soot all over him. He needed to shower and get his control in check. Because if he was going to touch her again, he’d make sure he used every care.
He headed fully into the bathroom. Stripped. Yanked on the shower. The water that came down was ice cold, and he couldn’t get the hot water to work. Screw it. He climbed into the shower. Let the cold water hit him. He washed his body, and then he turned off the water with a jerk of his hand. Maddox shoved a towel over his body, his thoughts all on her.
He stalked back into the bedroom. Her back was to him as she stood near the bed, but she quickly whirled, her eyes widening. “That was fast.”
“The water was ice.” He dropped his towel to the floor.
Her gaze immediately dropped, too. But not to the floor.
“Didn’t help anything,” he muttered as he reached for her towel. “Still want you just as badly.”
“Good.”
She had no clue of the danger that was right in front of her. “Wanting you this much…it isn’t safe.” He let her towel fall. Sweet hell, but she was beautiful. Tight, dusky nipples. Round breasts. Curving hips.
His hand lifted toward her.
And his finger brushed the scar on her side.
“Maddox?”
He slid to his knees before her. Put his mouth on the scar. “I don’t want to hurt you.” For just an instant, he could see her—in that other motel room, her eyes wide with shock as she stumbled.
She didn’t stumble right then. Instead, her hands settled on his shoulders. “I’m not afraid of you.”
Maybe you should be. He kissed a path across her stomach. Slid his hands to her thighs.
“I thought I was.”
His hands stilled.
“Then I realized that I was…I was afraid of how you make me feel.”
His fingers trailed up her inner thigh. He was so close to her sex. So close. “Maybe that’s a bad thing.”
“No.” He heard the soft click of her swallow. “Because without you, I’m not sure I’d feel anything.” Her nails bit into his shoulders. “I want you. My whole body seems as if it’s about to rip apart. My heart is going crazy. I can’t draw in a breath deep enough.”
Adrenaline rush. Shit, he needed to get his control in check and help bring her down. “It’s because of everything that happened. It’s because—”
“It’s because you’re touching me. Because I like it when you do. I don’t know what happened before Lazarus. I don’t know why I was with someone else.”
He stared up into her eyes.
“I can’t ever imagine wanting anyone else…this way.”
“Luna…” A warning. Because his need for her was about to rage out of control.
“I’m afraid of how I feel about you. And I’m afraid that I won’t feel without you. You’re inside of me.”
Not fucking yet. But he was sure about to be.
“You came for me in that lab. You saved me when Adam was going to shoot me.” Her gaze was so deep and dark. “And then you went for Jett. Even though you knew it was dangerous, you still went to save him after he’d turned on you. I don’t care what you think about yourself. But I know you’re a good man. With or without the memories.”
And his control shredded. The trust she was showing him… The way Luna stared at him... As if he were some kind of hero when he felt like a monster.
The fact that she was looking at him, knowing him...
I’m no stranger to her. She wants me, she knows me.
He tumbled her onto the bed. He spread her legs and his mouth went to her sex. He kissed her, he licked her, he stroked her, he devoured her. Maddox wanted to give her so much pleasure that she went insane.
Then he wanted to give her even more.
He worked her with his fingers and his mouth, going wild for her taste. Her hips bucked up against him as she called out his name. Need was in her voice, and her nails raked over his shoulders.
He rubbed her clit. Applied just the right amount of pressure.
She came. An explosion that shook her whole body. She came against his mouth, and he loved it. He licked her core, wanting every last drop of her.
Then he surged up. Spread her legs wider and drove into her. For a moment, the whole world seemed to go still. She was tight and hot, his personal heaven, and her eyes were wide with pleasure. Pleasure he’d given to her.
Then she smiled. Whispered, “Maddox…” And her legs locked around his hips.
He was a goner.
He surged into her, withdrew, and drove deep even harder. Over and over again because he was frantic for release. The bed groaned and squeaked, and it rammed into the wall, but he didn’t care. He rolled them over. Brought her on top of him so that her knees were on either side of his hips. Oh, hell, yes, he liked this position because he could reach her breasts. Could lean up and lick them. Suck her nipples. So he did. And she moaned and arched against him. She rose and fell in a desperate rhythm to match him.
He put his hand between their bodies. Even as he surged up into her, Maddox was strumming her clit. Her head tipped back, and she gasped out his name. He felt her release all along the length of his dick. Squeezing. Contractions that didn’t end.
Contractions that drove him right into oblivion.
Her body shuddered above him, and her hands flew down to press against his chest as she braced herself. The pleasure kept rolling through him, through every cell and nerve.
Her head lowered. Her mouth pressed to his. The kiss was hot, open, and it just made him want more.
Who the hell was he kidding? Maddox knew the truth. When it came to Luna, he’d always want more.
***
Luna trailed her hand over Maddox’s chest. He’d pulled the curtains closed, trying to shut out the day, and only a sliver of light slid into the motel room.
They’d eaten. He’d brought in some take-out for her, and she’d discovered that she was wild for noodles and chicken. He’d just smiled at her, and Luna had realized that he knew those were her weakness.
She didn’t remember her life, but he seemed to know everything about her.
He’d made a point of knowing everything.
She’d had one flash of her past, just one, and she was so hungry for more. She didn’t know how to unlock her own memories, but she could help him.
Luna eased out a slow breath. Her hand slid up, moving to his head. Her fingertips pressed lightly to his temple. It was their brains that were different, right? All of the memories were up there? So she just had to focus on healing his mind. Her eyes closed as her fingers began to tingle.
“You don’t have to…” Maddox’s deep voice told her.
“Yes, I do.” Because if she could help him, then she would.
Her fingers grew even warmer.
Luna suspected she’d do just about anything for Maddox.
***
She was trying to heal him. Trying to fix a brain that had been in a dead man’s body. Maddox’s hand rose because he was going to tell her to stop. It didn’t seem fair for him to have memories when she didn’t. When she could wake up and have everything gone. He was going to stop her—
“Maddie, Santa was here!” A woman stood in a doorway, a woman with dark hair and green eyes just like his. “Come and see!”
For an instant, he had a fast impression of a bedroom. Superheroes and football players were on the walls. He leapt out of the bed and ran toward the woman. But he didn’t rush past her, ready to get to the presents below. He grabbed her. Held her in a tight hug. “Love you, Mom.”
The vision vanished, but the memory stayed, shifted, grew stronger in his mind. Maddox’s breath came faster as another vision hit him.
A girl with long, dark hair strolled on a beach, near the water’s edge. She wore a pair of white shorts and a black t-shirt. She turned toward him, flashing a wide smile. A smile that lit her dark eyes.
She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. At fifteen, he fell in love. Lost it for—
“I’m Luna,” she said, holding out her hand to him. “My family just moved here.”
He took her hand. Held it so carefully. “Maddox.” His voice cracked when he said his name.
But she didn’t seem to notice. Her warm smile stayed in place. “Have you lived here all of your life?”
He was still holding her hand. “Yes.”
“You are so lucky.”
He absolutely was. The waves crashed as he stared at her.
Maddox sucked in a sharp breath as that bittersweet memory flooded through him. He’d met Luna on the beach. They’d become best friends. He’d spent every summer day swimming, fishing, or boating with her. They’d been so close.
As if a floodgate had been opened in his mind, more memories slammed into his head.
He could see his dad and his mom—they were hiking in the mountains.
His dad was teaching him how to drive.
His mom was teaching him how to do the box step.
And Luna…Luna was there, so many times. His date for the senior prom. She called him her best friend, and he’d wanted so much more. He hadn’t pushed, though, because he didn’t want to lose Luna. He’d waited, waited too fucking long because—
“I’m going to marry Luna.”
Maddox froze at that announcement. He’d been staring out at the beach, enjoying the sound of the waves crashing into the shore. He loved the beach, always had. He’d been one lucky asshole to grow up in Gulf Shores. But at his buddy Adam’s words, he whirled around. “What?”
The guy nodded, his blue eyes hard and determined. “I’m going to marry her. So I’m telling you right now, she’s mine. Keep your hands—”
Off her. Maddox lunged up in the bed, and Luna’s fingers slid away from his head. “Maddox? Are you okay?”
His head seemed to be splitting open. Too many memories. A whole lifetime. Suddenly battering at him like angry waves hitting the beach right before a storm.
Keep your hands off her.
“Adam moved to Gulf Shores my senior year. You and Adam were both juniors, one year below me.” His breath heaved out. “He was my friend. Your friend.” Until Adam had wanted to be more. And then he’d closed in on Luna. “Said he loved you from the first moment he saw you.” Maddox climbed out of the bed, pacing. Fuck, fucking hell. The memories were all cramming into his head. He could see himself playing football with Adam. Laughing at the guy’s dumb jokes. Adam could be a funny sonofabitch. He’d been so good at charm, and he’d charmed his way right into Luna’s heart.
“Adam and I were on the beach when he said he was going to marry you.” The memory he’d first gotten was so much clearer now. “He was just talking—we were freaking kids, but he was warning me off you because he knew how I felt about you, too.” He looked back at her.
Luna was in the bed, with the covers pulled up near her chin. She stared at him with her dark eyes. The girl he’d first met on the beach. The girl…
I fell in love with her when I first saw her, too. But he hadn’t said anything. Not to her. Not to Adam. He’d waited too damn long. Why? Why?
I was a kid. And I thought I had forever.
Until someone else had come too close and tried to steal the girl he wanted.
“You fell for him.” He swallowed. “Since I was a year ahead of you, I went into the military, and when I came back…” He rubbed a chest that burned. “I didn’t ask you to wait. Didn’t tell you how I felt but I fucking should have told you. I should have told you everything.”
She shook her head in confusion. “Maddox?”
He grabbed his temples. They throbbed and ached and the memories were blasting through him. They were absolutely ripping him apart.
“Traitor,” he gasped out that one word. “He was selling government secrets. Had to stop him. You were gonna marry him…” His eyes squeezed shut. “Didn’t mean to stab him. He attacked me. Said he wouldn’t go to jail. Said…”
“Luna has been working this scene with me. You think she’s so innocent? Why the hell do you believe she’s marrying me? Because of the money we make together. Because Luna has been working this con from day one with me.”
“No,” Maddox growled. But the memory wouldn’t stop playing in his mind.
“She was never as innocent as you thought. That’s why she chose me, and not you. Luna didn’t want the fucking good guy.” Adam’s eyes had gleamed as he yanked out his gun. “She wants me.”
Adam was going to fire his weapon.
Maddox leapt forward, stabbing fast with the knife…
A soft hand touched his shoulder. “Maddox?”
He grabbed Luna, pulling her close, but that wasn’t good enough. His hands flew over her, down to her side. She’d put on a t-shirt, and he yanked it up so that he could touch her bare flesh.
So that he could touch the scar on her skin.
“Maddox?”
His head whipped up, and he stared into her eyes.
A faint furrow appeared between her brows. “Are you okay? I just—I want to help you.”
And once more, he could hear Adam’s words in his head. “She was never as innocent as you thought. That’s why she chose me, and not you. Luna didn’t want the fucking good guy.”
He’d always played by the rules. His whole life. Never stepped out of line. Never took any risks. Adam had been the risk taker. Adam had been the life of the party. Adam had been the one to put his ring on Luna’s finger.
“I did something wrong.”
Her words had him sucking in a hard breath.
“Didn’t I?” Her gaze searched his. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to give your memories back to you. But I didn’t really know what I was doing.” She bit her lip. “I hurt you.”
Luna was so beautiful. And she owned his heart. Then. Now.
Had she been working with Adam? If that bastard hadn’t shot them both, would Maddox have been forced to turn Luna over to the authorities?
“I’m trying to be good,” Luna whispered. “I get so confused sometimes. Everything seems so messed up.”
His head was about to explode. Her scar was beneath his fingertips. The constant reminder of death. Of life.
A tear leaked down Luna’s cheek. “I hurt you, when I just wanted to help you.”
Fuck it. Maddox realized it didn’t matter what she’d done or hadn’t done in the past. She is mine.
He grabbed her, lifting Luna into his arms and holding her tight.
“Maddox?”
Memories were driving him mad. Tearing apart his mind. Pushing him to the brink of sanity. But Luna wasn’t a memory. She was real. Flesh and blood. In his arms. His. “The past doesn’t matter.”
Pain flashed on her face.
He pressed her up against the wall. His cock shoved toward her. She hadn’t put on underwear, and he was still buck-ass naked. “You matter.”
Luna licked her lower lip. “You matter to me, too.”
He kissed her, swiping his tongue over the lip she’d just licked. Then he was thrusting his tongue into her mouth, tasting her, even as his cock thrust into her body. Deep and hard. There was no holding back. There was no going back. The past—dammit, he wasn’t going to make the same mistakes. He wouldn’t do it.
Her fingers dug into his arms. He thrust harder and deeper as he kissed his way down her neck. He licked her throat, bit her lightly, wanting to mark her. Wanting to own her.
Just wanting her.
She came, crying out with a fast, hard release, and it was his name that she called. His body that she held.
He emptied himself into her. Shuddering as he came, filling her completely even as Maddox knew that he would never, ever get enough of her because…
“I love you,” Maddox rasped.
Her breath caught. Her eyes flared wide.
And he just said it again. “I love you.”