— NINETEEN —
“I’M not tired.”
“Tough. It’s a school night.”
“But Mom! I’m five now!”
Nineteen hours into his next year of life and Eric had decided to sprout an attitude. It was a good thing she thought he was cute. “You will be an absolute bear in the morning if your head isn’t on your pillow in ten minutes. And when you are a bear, I will point out that you had a choice to get enough rest and chose not to take it. Understand?”
“No.”
“Of course not. Come on, upstairs.”
She’d just pushed herself up off the couch, where she’d been playing Plants vs. Zombies and pretending she wasn’t antsy about not having heard from Zander since the night before. And the last two nights, when they’d talked, he’d been…brief. Cryptic, even. And no video chat.
She was doing her best not to imagine why.
The ability to ask why and get a dozen evil, doomsday answers was a writer’s secret weapon—and a new girlfriend’s certain undoing.
As Eric whined again about putting away his Minecraft reference book, the one that he couldn’t even read yet, they heard a knock at the door.
Knock. Knock-knock.
Her heart leapt into her throat. She knew that sound. Knew the fist that made that kind of forceful alert of presence. That fist—and the beautiful man to whom it belonged—was supposed to be in Alberta.
She flew to the front door, but so did Eric, and the little bugger was faster than her. She laughed as he slid in front of her and put his hand on the door knob first. “I’ve got it.”
Stepping back, she let him open the door for Zander.
God, he looked good. In person was so much different than on video chat. A billion times better, and yet already her heart ached because she knew he couldn’t be here for very long, so she greedily soaked up every detail. The stretched-out, faded black t-shirt that used to have lettering but now just looked good. The jeans. The boots. The leather jacket slung over his shoulder.
So focused she was on gobbling him up with her eyes that she almost forgot she was wearing rolled up sweat pants and a sports bra underneath an oversized tank top that said “Hakuna Masquata: It Means Nice Booty”.
Almost.
With a squeak, she stepped behind Eric, who wasn’t big enough to hide anything.
And it didn’t matter, because Zander gave them both a massive grin and swept them into his arms.
“Happy birthday, bud,” he said roughly.
“Can I stay up late because it’s my birthday?” Eric asked, earning himself a growl from her.
Zander laughed. “Seriously, dude? Don’t get me in trouble.”
“That’s a no?”
“Is it a school night?”
Eric wriggled out of Zander’s arms and jumped onto the staircase. “Maybe.”
“Go brush your teeth,” Faith said, then twisted to look at Zander’s profile. He was right there. So close she could kiss his cheek if Eric wasn’t paying attention. She turned her head back to her son. “Zander will read you a bedtime story.”
Like a shot, her kid disappeared, and Zander squeezed her close to his side. “Surprise.”
“No kidding. What are you doing here?”
“It’s Eric’s birthday.” Just like that. Like, of course he’d be here.
Of course he’d be here. Her heart grew another size with the reminder.
Upstairs, the door between her mother’s apartment and the landing opened. “Faith, did I hear—Oh, hello, Zander.”
Faith hadn’t told her mother that they’d had a fight. She hadn’t told her that they’d made up, either. She’d been falling down on the sharing side of things, but she could scarcely believe she had Zander, let alone understand the details of how.
“Miriam,” he said with a hint of laughter in his voice. He still hadn’t let Faith go. This was well beyond a welcome back hug. He was just holding her now, and it felt wonderful.
“Is this another whirlwind visit?” her mom asked. God, the small talk. Faith couldn’t handle it, not when she wanted to hit a pause time button and climb him like a tree. Although she did want to know the answer to that question.
She patted Zander’s hand. He didn’t take the hint and let her go. “I should go and check on Eric,” she muttered.
“I’m fine!” her son yelled from upstairs.
“PJs!” she yelled back.
Zander kept talking to her mother like the yelling hadn’t happened. “Yes, I’ve got a three day leave pass before I head up to the Arctic for two weeks. I wish I’d been able to get here before bedtime.”
That was out the window, and Faith wasn’t complaining.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, nuzzling closer. Upstairs, her mother followed Eric into his room and starting helping him with his pyjamas. Faith took advantage of the moment of privacy and flung her arms around his neck. “You’re really here.”
“I am.” He grinned.
She returned the smile, suddenly giddy. “I love you, Zander. And I love that you’re here.”
When Eric came to get them, they were still embracing, and he slid between their bodies, getting in on the hug. Zander kissed Faith’s brow, then she stepped away, watching as he flipped Eric upside down and carried him back to bed by his ankles.
Her son beamed the entire way.
Zander ended up reading both bedtime stories, and he didn’t come to her room until Eric had passed out cold.
“Sorry I kept him up late, I meant to get here earlier, but my flight was delayed…”
She waved him off. “You’re just in charge of getting him up in the morning. I recommend pancakes.”
“Deal.” He settled on her bed, watching her get ready for bed. She’d traded her ratty sweats for the silky scraps of nothing she’d bought just for him, and her skin started to warm under his appreciative stare. She picked up her hair brush and pulled out her ponytail. “Can I do that for you?”
She joined him on the bed, feet dangling over the edge, and he carefully brushed her hair. Each long stroke tugged gently on her scalp, and on the third pass, she groaned in pleasure. Behind her, he shifted, and when her hair hung loose and shiny around her shoulders, he gathered it together and twisted it to the side.
His hands pressed against her skin. Warm, a little rough, and ever so caring. He rubbed his thumbs down her back, between her shoulder blades, then squeezed her shoulders and rubbed up her neck. Again and again he repeated the massage until she was boneless. Then he tugged her back against him and just held her.
It was blissfully domestic.
“Seventy-two hours, eh?” she whispered.
“This time.”
“Every time, it seems.” She didn’t mean it to sound like that, with that edge of snark that was really fuelled by fear.
But it did, and Zander didn’t miss it. “So?”
“Nothing.”
“No, you said it. Let’s talk about it.”
She sighed. This wasn’t how she wanted to spend even a second of his limited time. “I’m just being silly.”
“Then be silly out loud.”
“Um….” She took a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re this guy?”
“What guy?”
“Domesticated and tethered to one place.”
“Ahhh.” He shrugged. “I’m not sure where you got the idea that I’m filled with burning wanderlust. That’s not all that I am.”
“For now? Anymore? Because when I met you—no, stop giving me that look.” Her back was to him, but she could picture the look he must be giving her. He chuckled, telling her she was right. “I’m not picking a fight, I’m just…it’s hard to wrap my head around the idea that this—“ She gestured around her bedroom, but meaning her entire house and town “—could ever be enough for you.”
“You need to stop telling me what kind of guy I am.” He said it gently enough, but it still scratched like a burr.
“You need to stop pretending that you aren’t exactly that kind of guy! You already feel the itch, right? You’ve been back three times in four months. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t rather be exploring some far-flung corner of the world instead of being obligated to come here.”
“Obligated? Babe, I promise you that’s not the word I’d use to describe how I feel right now.” He wrapped himself more tightly around her, his jaw twitching as he brought their cheeks together. He waited a beat, then whispered, “How about you stop pretending you wouldn’t rather come with me?”
She had good reasons. “Eric has school. I have to work.”
“And wanderlust is what vacations are for. I’ve worked hard for twenty years and I’m looking at starting a new company. I get not being able to drop everything. You think I don’t respect that about you? I’ll never try to tell you to work less. You work as much as you want. But there are other things you want, too.”
Heat radiated off his body, seeping into her, carrying with it the confidence he felt. Was he right? She wanted so much more, it was true. But she’d lived that way once before. Greg had, too. She’d learned the hardest way possible that being an adult meant giving up the right to indulge all the wants of the human spirit.
Especially the wants that tugged one away from safety and security.
“Zander, I can’t—”
“I know.” He turned her enough to cup her cheek and he circled his thumb at the corner of her mouth while his dark eyes searched her face. “You’re not there yet. Hear me say this: I don’t need to take off on an adventure until you are by my side.”
“But—“
“And yeah, it might not ever be your bag again.” He lifted one eyebrow and gave her a bossy look that made her quiver all over. “You and Eric are more than enough adventure for me, right here in this little house. I will take all of my leave passes and mark them as destination Tobermory and Pine Harbour in advance if that would prove it to you.”
“What if you just marked them as Tobermory?” Her heart was fluttering a mile a minute, but yes, this felt like the right step. “Would it be crazy to ask you to move in here when you come back?”
“Maybe. But crazy…now that sounds exactly like what kind of man I am.”
Hardly. But she let him whisk her to bed, and when she woke up in the middle of the night to find him rolling off the mattress, she tugged him back down beside her. There would be no more nights in the spare room.
Life was too short and precious for pretending he wasn’t exactly what she wanted, every minute of every day.
— —
Zander’s alarm went off at six. He hit snooze and rolled onto his back. Faith murmured something in her sleep and rolled too, resettling with her head on his shoulder and her hand on his stomach, warm and soft as her fingers unconsciously tangled in the hair there.
This is what happiness feels like. The house was quiet still, and he let himself sleep in a bit, drifting in that pleasant near-awake state until his second alarm went off. As much as he wanted to stay there all morning, they hadn’t talked about Eric knowing they were sharing a room. With a groan, he shoved himself out of bed and carefully tucked Faith back in.
In the kitchen, he found pancake mix and whipped up the batter, then he turned on the TV and watched the news as he did his morning push-ups. He had a set of six different push-ups that he did most of the time—plyometric, walking push-ups, pike push-ups, etcetera. They worked his entire body and didn’t require any equipment. As he finished his third set of the lot, he heard little footsteps enter the living room. He looked over his shoulder. “Morning, bud.”
Eric yawned. “Morning.”
“Pancakes?”
He nodded, then stared as Zander stood up. “You’re not wearing a shirt.”
“No, I—” didn’t sleep with one on was probably too much information. “I didn’t think anyone was up.”
“Are you exercising?”
“Yep.”
“I do exercises. Sometimes Mommy does yoga and I sit on her back.”
“That’s fun.” Zander filed away the fact that Faith secretly did yoga. He wanted to watch. “Want to do some push-ups with me?”
Eric nodded solemnly and shuffled closer, still sleepy. He carefully pulled off his shirt and put it on the arm of the sofa and then planked next to Zander. That was how Miriam found them, Zander in his shorts, Eric in his PJ pants, neither of them wearing a shirt and both of them laughing like idiots as Eric pretended to correct Zander’s form over and over again.
“Grandma, can you do push-ups?” Eric asked as he climbed onto one of the kitchen chairs.
“I can make coffee, sweet pea. That’s my superpower. Now put on your shirt.” She pointed at Zander, an amused smile dancing across her face. “You too.”
Zander tossed it over to him, then headed for the stairs. Faith’s mother was the only person on the planet who could make him blush. He jumped into the shower, then dressed himself properly for mixed company in a long-sleeved black Henley and faded blue jeans.
Faith woke up as he was threading his belt through his jeans. “Is Eric up?”
“Yep. And we worked out together.”
“What? He wasn’t grumpy?” She laughed as she pushed herself up in bed. She was wearing a silky camisole, but with the sheet held up in front of her chest, it was easy to imagine her naked. Breakfast. Focus.
He cleared his throat. “Nope, not grumpy. Although your mother chastised me for not wearing a shirt.”
Faith giggled and shook her head. “You don’t know my mother. I highly doubt she was chastising you. What did she say?”
“She told me to put on a shirt.”
“Was she smiling while she said it?”
Zander groaned. “No, don’t tell me.”
“You were lucky she didn’t pat your chest and compliment your form.”
“Oh, Jesus.”
“What? You’re a beautiful, beautiful man, Zander Minelli. And we appreciate—” She shrieked as he dove onto the bed, silencing her with a soft, lingering, thorough good morning kiss. When he let her up for air, she sighed and snuggled closer. “I appreciate you the most, though.”
“Lucky me.” He pushed himself off the bed and held out his hand. “Pancake duty calls. Your mom is making coffee.”
Faith grinned. “I’m the most spoiled girl in all of Tobermory today.”
“Good.” He dragged himself away before he molested her in a way that wouldn’t be appropriate for a school morning.
Over breakfast they were all quiet, except for Miriam and Faith exchanging cryptic half-sentences about their day’s plans.
“Mom, did you call—”
“Yes, I’ll pick it up. And maybe for dinner…?”
“The fish? I think so. Zander?”
He gave Faith an amused look. “Do I like fish? Is that the question?”
“Yes.” Her brows pulled together in a delicate frown. “Wasn’t that clear?”
“Not even a little, babe. Yes, sure. I’m easy, I’ll eat anything.”
Eric shook his head. “I won’t. I don’t like steak. It’s hard to chew. And I really hate mushrooms.”
“Oh, you’re missing out. Steak with mushrooms on the side…maybe some herbed butter, and mashed potatoes…” Zander’s mouth was watering. “That’s heaven, right there.”
Faith groaned. “Well now I don’t want fish for dinner.”
He grinned. “Fish is good. Lemon, herbs, butter again, because that’s the secret to good cooking. And rice instead of potatoes. Delicious. Asparagus or green beans on the side, and voila.” The entire table stared at him. “What?”
“Zander…” Miriam cleared her throat. “Can you cook?”
“Sure.”
She smiled enigmatically. “Good.”
Faith’s phone beeped. “Time for school.”
“I don’t want to go to school! I want to stay here with Zander!”
“I’ll be there to pick you up as soon as you’re done. And I’ve got work to do today, anyway. Not fun for a five year old.”
“I like work. I do work at my spy base all the time.”
“School, end of story,” Faith said, firmly propelling Eric toward the front door.
Zander followed behind. “I’ll come along for drop-off.”
“Will you tell me about your Arctic training in the car?”
“Definitely.”
Eric sped ahead and pulled open the back seat door of Faith’s car. She turned and winked at Zander. “And then will you take me to Greta’s for pie?”