Big Bad Neighbor: A Single Daddy Next Door Romance

 

Love thy neighbor? Oh, I intend to.

 

As a retired SEAL, I’m used to crushing obstacles.

So when the world’s biggest dick tease moves in next door, I’m up for the challenge.

Her smile, her lips, her ass fitting snugly into those tight jeans. It makes me hard the minute she crosses my driveway.

But I can tell she’s running from something, something I want to save her from.

So now I want her even more.

To protect her, to own her, to make her mine.

But I have a son to think of. No time for women. No time for games.

So I’ll never let her into my home… or into my bed.

But the fact that our bedroom windows align only makes it all the f*ck harder.

From behind half-drawn curtains, we’re playing a dangerously delicious game.I watch her. And I know she watches me, imagining it’s her hand on my c*ck.But that’s as far as I’ll let it go.Because doing what I have in mind to her… it’s downright unneighborly.

 

* * *

Chapter One

Jenna

 

How did my life get so screwed up?

I tapped a finger against the porch railing. It was in dire need of stain, and the picket fence surrounding the small front lawn needed some white paint. The flower beds were dry and dead. The grass was dead in the front and the backyard. The inside of the house fared no better either. The carpets needed to be ripped out, the hardwood floors restored, and every room needed to be swept and scrubbed down.

This was what my life had become over the past few months— run-down and in desperate need of fixing. My heart ached just thinking of the past year. Gone. Wasted. It tasted bitter at the back of my throat.

The small neighborhood was quiet against the backdrop of a buzzing Denver. I gazed along the shaded street while waiting for my mom’s esteemed realtor to arrive and hand over the keys. My dad’s small inheritance he had left behind for me in case of an emergency had paid for this house and a few small repairs that needed to be done. Everything else would somehow be up to me to figure out.

A job would be the next thing to look for. The shelter back in California had given me a basic flip phone to contact my mom with. My books, computer, iPhone, and clothes were all locked up in Leon’s apartment still. I paid for it, so it’s mine, not yours. That had been his response when I’d asked him to send my things through the mail. I had even offered to wire over a small bit of money for him to do it, but he’d only take the money. If he couldn’t hold me hostage, he’d hold my possessions hostage.

I sighed inwardly. How I ended up with someone like Leon was beyond me. A wolf dressed like a sheep was how I had described it to the shelter. Nothing about him screamed danger. He had charmed the hell out of me my freshman year of college. He had been the man on campus then. I had been the quiet book nerd looking to enjoy a few California sunrays. Colossal disaster. I still had the bruises on my arms and legs to prove it.

Those dark and horrible memories tickled the back of my head. I swiped at them in annoyance, tugging the long curls of my hair out of my hair clip. Don’t think about it. Just ignore it. Keep going forward like they said.

“Hello there!”

I blinked to find a middle-aged woman in a knee-length floral dress standing on the other side of the fence. She smiled kindly at me with her dark hair pulled back in a bun. A little girl clung to her hand, impatiently tugging at her mother’s arm.

“Hello,” I said, forcing a smile.

The woman put a hand on the gate to open it. That was when I caught sight of the casserole dish in the palm of her hand. I stepped down from the porch to open the gate for her.

“Very kind of you,” she said, beaming. “I’m Martha Smith. I live four doors down. This is my daughter, Julie.” She ran a hand down Julie’s dark locks fondly. “She’s one of the youngsters you’ll see running around here.”

“Hi,” Julie said.

“Hi,” I parroted back.

“We wanted to bring you this,” Martha continued, holding out the casserole dish. “We heard from the realtor that you would be moving in today but had no working appliances just yet. I do hope you have something to sleep on besides that nasty carpet in there.”

I took ahold of the casserole dish. The smell of chicken and rice filled my nose. My stomach gave an appreciative rumble.

“Thank you,” I said, holding the fine ceramic carefully in my arms. “I have an air mattress in my car that I’ll sleep on tonight. The rest of my furniture will be here tomorrow hopefully.”

“Oh, good. I’m so glad someone bought this house. The last occupants didn’t take care of it at all, as you probably know.” Martha’s eyes raked me up and down then. They settled on the bruises on my forearms, and I couldn’t tuck them away with the casserole dish in my arms. Thankfully, she looked away a second later. “You look so young to be buying a house. How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-three,” I said, uncomfortable with that knowing look in her eyes. “Thank you again for the casserole, Ms. Smith. It smells good.”

“Call me Martha,” she said airily. “It makes me feel old when you say my name that way.”

“Right. Martha—”

The roar of a diesel truck interrupted us. I glanced over my shoulder to see a tall and strong man hop out from the driver’s side. My heart gave a start when he swept an icy gaze across me and Martha. His blond hair was tousled back sexily. Muscles strained against the cuffs of his gray shirt. I glimpsed a cross tattoo on his right forearm before he turned on his heel to walk around the truck to the passenger side.

“That’s Derek Summers,” Martha whispered to me, leaning over the fence slightly. The passenger door opened, and a little boy jumped out a second later. He pretended to crash roll on the driveway before scrambling to his feet. “That’s his boy, Owen. He goes to school with Julie.”

Julie gave an impatient whine then. “Moommm. Can I ask Owen to play before dinner?”

“Maybe, honey,” Martha said placidly. “That depends on Owen’s dad.”

“Why are you whispering?” I asked.

Martha blinked. “Am I?” She laughed lightly. “I supposed it’s habit, dear. Derek over there is a bit of a grump over noise, so I suggest you keep it down.”

“I’m not loud.”

“Mooomm!”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Martha took a step back from the gate to call out in exasperation. “Derek! Does Owen have time to play before dinner?”

The little boy immediately stopped at the question. He turned to look up at Derek with a hopeful expression.

Derek shook his head, placing a hand on Owen’s shoulder. His gaze skimmed over us indifferently.

“Not tonight, Martha,” he said, his husky timbre filling the summer air. “Owen has homework he needs to finish. Have a good night.”

The curtness threw me a little. I looked over at Martha, who didn’t seem too surprised or bothered by it. She caught sight of my expression.

“You’ll get used to him,” she said. “He’s a bit rough around the edges, but he’s quite helpful when you need him. He’s just an ass at times.” Her nose crinkled. “Don’t expect him to be around at night though.”

I couldn’t help it. Curiosity got the better of me. “Where does he go at night?”

“Beats me,” Martha said, shrugging her shoulders. “A job I assume. He doesn’t talk about himself much. All I know is that JoAnne’s daughter, Hayley, is the trusted person for watching Owen at night.”

I didn’t care about any of this information. Men were at the bottom of my list now. He is sexy though. I ignored that thought. He was a bit of a prick from what I had gathered. The last thing I needed was another man like that in my life. That had been the reason I had gotten into trouble in the first place.

I spotted my mother’s realtor driving down the street in our direction. I closed the gate as politely as possible.

“Thank you again,” I said, taking a step back. “I better go. That’s the realtor with my house keys.”

Martha flashed a dazzling smile. “Of course, dear. Anytime.” She reached over to pat me on the shoulder. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come get me. Remember to keep the noise down.”

She walked down the sidewalk with Julie hopping along. They disappeared behind a large oak tree a minute later.

This was a new beginning with new people around. Everything would be okay again. Things would be better once the dust settled. I repeated those things to myself firmly.

I looked over my shoulder to see Derek grabbing the mail from his box on the front door. He looked at me with a blank expression before stepping through the front door, slamming it shut behind him.

“So much for making friends with the neighbors,” I muttered, and started in the direction of the realtor when she stepped out to jiggle the keys at me.

“Ready to see your new home?” she asked kindly.

“Yes,” I said emphatically. Even if it was a complete mess inside, it was my place. It was my fresh start.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Two

Derek

 

 

It was just my type of shitty luck to have a young and sexy woman as a neighbor. I had moved here to Arvada just to escape women in general after my divorce. Now I had an attractive and young one living next door to me. It was horrible and shitty luck that I couldn’t shake off.

I never blamed the universe for what had happened. I had made the decision to marry Sidney despite my family warning me to steer clear of someone like her, but the sex had been far too good to let her go. Sidney knew her way around a bedroom, but that had been part of the problem. She was so damn good at it that she lured other men in too.

My father’s voice echoed in my head as I watched the young woman talk with someone who appeared to be a realtor from the living room. “Son, 99 percent of women are cunning and manipulative. That’s just how God made them. Look for the rare 1 percent, but don’t dare to dream of ever finding it.”

Cunning. Manipulative. Greedy. That was exactly who Sidney was. I had a rundown house, barely a few bucks in my account, and full parental custody of Owen after a year of fighting each other in court. Within a matter seconds, that judge had ordered me broke and Owen to be split in half every summer and holidays while Sidney lived in a nice beach house with my savings account in her name.

Bitterness tore through me. I let the curtain drop down before picking up the stack of mail in the hallway. I sifted through it to toss the junk in the trash can. The television had clicked on in the living room. I could feel the tension radiating off Owen even before I stepped in to turn it off.

“You need to finish your project, buddy,” I said, taking the TV remote from his grasp.

“I can finish it later,” Owen said. He folded his small arms over his chest with an angry huff and looked away from me. “You never let me play with my friends anymore.”

“You can play with them at recess during school,” I said, but that didn’t appease him. I caught sight of his scowl. “I’m serious, Owen. Finish that project or you won’t get to play outside for a while.”

“What’s the difference?” Owen mumbled.

He got to his feet anyway to grab his backpack by the front door. I let out a sigh the second he was out of sight and hearing range. There were many times I wondered if the judge had picked the right parent to raise Owen full time. I had no doubt about how much Sidney loved him. She was good about the affection part, and while I loved my son more than life, I couldn’t find it in me to embrace him like he wanted.

I had my father to thank for that. What a kick he would get out of me blaming him for it. I couldn’t even remember the last time he had hugged me, let alone said he loved me.

I popped in the pizza we had picked up on our way home from school. Owen sat quietly at the kitchen table, circling randomly in his workbook. That was another thing I didn’t understand when it came to Owen. I could hardly ever hold still and focus. I had to move. My career in the Special Forces had been short thanks to an enemy bullet fracturing my spine the first few months of a tour. I was lucky from what the army doctors had told me at the time. Most of us never came back, and if we did come back, we came back with injuries so grotesque that it was unbearable. I missed those days, because then I had been moving somewhere with a mission. Now I moved at a slow pace around the house between getting Owen to school, going work, and paying bills.

“How about some football after pizza?” I asked.

Owen didn’t look up from his workbook. “No, thanks. I want to watch TV.”

I shook my head.

“You can’t just sit on the couch and watch TV,” I said. “You need fresh air and exercise.”

“We had plenty of that back with Mom.”

My jaw clenched. This was something Sidney and I had surprisingly agreed on in court. Owen was traumatized enough with everything that had happened. He didn’t need to hear either one of us talk about the other in a bad light. Still, I had no idea how to explain to him what divorce meant.

“I know,” I managed to say. “I’m sorry, bud. There’s just nothing I can do to make things better, is there?”

“No,” Owen said quietly. “Nothing.”

Owen silently ate his piece of pizza next to me at the kitchen table. It took all of my strength not to reach out and ruffle his blond locks of hair in the hope that it would cheer him up. I’m sorry. That was what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t apologize without explaining the entire truth of what had happened. That could come later, when he was old enough to understand that relationships could go awry without any cataclysmic event setting it into a downward spiral.

The doorbell rang right as I scooped up the paper plates from the table. Owen shot out of his seat with an excited grin.

“Hayley’s here!” he shouted, rushing into the hallway.

I arched an eyebrow. I had a sneaking suspicion that the only reason Owen liked Hayley out of all the other babysitters who tried to watch him was because she fed him chocolate and candy. Whenever he brushed his teeth in the morning after Hayley babysat him, there was always chocolate on them. She got him in bed on time though; I’d grant her that. I didn’t complain either, because I needed her there at night when I left.

Footsteps approached the kitchen.

“Hi, Derek.”

“Hayley,” I said, turning to look at her standing in the kitchen with a curt nod. “I just got him some pizza for dinner tonight. He’s finished with his homework too.”

“Right,” Hayley said, turning to look at Owen bouncing around her. “I guess that means we have some time to play a few games then, eh?”

“Not for too long,” I said over Owen shouting happily. “Just for thirty minutes is all.”

“Daaadd!”

I ignored the crestfallen look Owen sent me. I caught ahold of Hayley’s gaze pointedly. She gave a nod of understanding.

“You heard your pops,” she said. “Just for thirty minutes. I have my own homework to do tonight as well.”

“Feel free to use whatever you need,” I said. I clasped Owen’s shoulder as I passed by him. “I have to get ready for work.”

I entered my room to change for another long night. I slipped out of the rumpled clothes I had slept in all day when Owen had been in school. I gave my bed a longing glance. Nothing sounded better than settling down with Owen for the evening and going to bed at a normal hour again.

Crime never rested though. It thrived at nighttime.

I dressed in the usual attire of my pants and a black shirt with my bullet proof vest over it, and I grabbed my Glock 22 from the gun safe next to my bed. The sound of an air pump clicking on startled me for a second. Forcing my finger away from the trigger, I realized with growing dread why the sound was so loud.

My window was still propped open to let the summer air in. I bent down at the waist to see what I suspected— my new neighbor's bedroom window was wide open too, and I could see her blowing up an air mattress with a pile of sheets and blankets next to her.

My eyes focused on the tightness of her ass cheeks, which were peeking out from beneath her gray cotton shorts. I looked away sharply when I felt myself harden. Slamming my window shut, I pulled the shades down violently.

More shitty luck that our bedroom windows faced each other and she also liked to keep her windows open to let the night air in. Go fucking figure. I’d also undoubtedly be getting some shows at night, and enjoying them too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three

Jenna

 

 

“I’m worried about you, Jenna. I think we need to hire someone to take care of all of this.”

I rolled my eyes in exasperation for the hundredth time that morning. Not because I didn’t agree with my mother, but because she wholeheartedly believed she could hire a bodyguard to follow me from my house to the store.

“You can’t hire a bodyguard,” I said. “I’m not that important of a person.”

Anna Collins straightened the turquoise nylon scarf tied loosely about her neck. She sniffed delicately while gazing out at the showroom of various furniture sets.

“Nonsense,” she said. “You’re important to me. Just say the word, Jenna, and I’ll have somebody over at that apartment—”

“Mom,” I cut in harshly, shaking my head at her. “Remember what the police officers and social services told us? It’s better to keep my distance right now. We don’t want to tip him off either.”

“I know that. I just think it’s unfair that he won’t send you your things.”

“He paid for the things he has.”

“It shouldn’t be like that, Jenna,” she said, shaking her head at me with a sad frown. “Your father didn’t raise you to believe that sort of thing in a relationship is okay. Then again, we can agree to say you weren’t in a relationship exactly.”

A headache pounded in my temples. I loved my mother more than anything in the world. She hadn’t even batted an eyelash when I’d called from the hospital with two broken ribs, bruised arms, and a concussion to ask for help. Years ago, my father had passed away from a heart attack, and while his death had been dark and abrupt, he had made sure that my mother and I were taken care of. I had never accepted my inheritance because of Leon. He could take everything else, just not any of my dad’s hard-earned money.

The last thing I wanted to talk about though was Leon. I’d done enough of it by talking to the police.

“I appreciate everything you are doing mom,” I said, giving her a smile. “I just want to focus on moving forward now. I can live without a computer and a phone for a little bit until I get a job.”

“Oh, please,” Anna said. “I’m buying you a phone. There’s no way you can go without a phone.”

“Mom—”

“Don’t start, Jenna. Just say you love me, and let’s finish picking out your furniture so it can be delivered later.”

I embraced her tightly for a long moment, inhaling the smell of sunshine on her clothes. There was one perk at least to moving all the way out to Colorado. I got to be close to my mother again.

An hour later, I dropped her off at her gated retirement community with sprawling gardens and evergreen pines.

“I love you, dear,” Anna said, leaning in through the window to kiss me on the cheek. “Call me on that brand-new phone of yours if you need.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Mom. I will.”

By the time I arrived back to the house, the handymen my mother had hired to rip out the old carpet were pulling out rolls of rotted pads and stained carpet. I swept the hardwood floors free of nails and dust until the furniture trucks arrived. I stood on the porch while movers came in and out of the house.

Hope. It trickled through me for the first time in a long time. A new house. New furniture. I can do this. I can start my life over again. I tilted my head up to allow the warm sunshine to fall over my face.

“What the hell is all this?”

I started at the sound of Derek’s voice cutting through the morning as sharp as a surgical knife. My heart pounded against my ribcage when I saw him leaning over the fence slightly to watch the movers with an irritated scowl. Martha wasn’t kidding. He hates noise. There were dark circles underneath his eyes, but even rumpled he still looked sexy.

“Movers,” I said, stepping off the porch to walk up to him. The grass tickled my bare toes as I approached. He eyed me with an indifferent expression. “I’m sorry. Martha told me that you don’t like noise.”

“No,” he said sharply, “I don’t like noise. I work at night. The only time I ever get sleep is when my son is in school.”

I recoiled slightly at his agitated demeanor. “Okay, well, they’ll be done soon. I’m sorry. There isn’t anything I can do.”

Derek swept his gaze along the furniture trucks parked out front. It gave me a few seconds to admire his well-maintained frame. I wanted to reach out and feel those muscles bulging out. It wasn’t just his fit figure that hooked me. It was the haunted air that surrounded him. He kept his emotions well-hidden, though, when he looked back at me.

“Just tell them to keep it down,” he said. “This is the only time I get to sleep. I don’t have the ability to sleep all day like you do.”

The insult slapped me hard across the face. I stared at him as he leaned back to go to his house. What is his problem?

“I don’t have the ability to take a nap all day,” I said, a bit defensively. “I have things to do also.”

He snorted. “Such as?”

“I have a job too,” I said, though it was a flat-out lie. I still had to find a job by the end of the week in addition to everything else.

“You don’t look old enough to have an important job,” Derek commented flatly. “You don’t even look old enough to own a house that needs renovations.”

Anger skittered through me at those insults. “Well,” I said, hooking my hands on my hips, “I am old enough. I’m old enough to buy alcohol. I’m old enough to do everything. Not that it’s your business.”

“I didn’t ask,” he said. Jerk. “Just tell your movers to keep it quiet. I need to sleep.”

Exasperated, I looked over at the movers pulling out the frame for my new bed. They weren’t even that loud while they talked to each other.

“It’s impossible to keep quiet when you’re moving,” I said. “You’re asking me to do the impossible. Just close your bedroom window.”

He stiffened visibly at that. I had noticed, well rather heard, him slam his window shut the other night. It had been open again this morning, but the curtains had been drawn closed. I had no idea why I’d even looked at that this morning on my way out. Maybe it was because our bedroom windows faced one another. That thought caused an array of emotions to go through me.

“Tell them to be quiet,” he said shortly.

I opened my mouth to argue, but he was already stalking back up his driveway to the front door. He slammed the door shut without sparing me another glance. I walked up to my front porch with a sigh.

“Great,” I grumbled, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “I have an asshole for a neighbor who has ridiculously good hearing. How much better could this get?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

Derek

 

 

Crash!

I jerked awake, one hand instinctively going straight to my Glock. A terrified scream filled the morning air. I shoved the sheets and blankets back. Years of training in the Navy SEALs pumped through my veins as I rushed down the stairs to yank the front door open. I scanned the area for the sound of the crash and scream with my Glock held in front of me defensively.

The second I rounded the right side of my house, I stumbled upon an alarming sight. There she was, my new next door neighbor, dangling by her fingernails from the gutter with a tipped-over ladder on the ground. She gave me a frightened look, either from nearly falling to her death or because I had the barrel of my Glock pointed directly at her.

Irritation swept through me. What the fuck? I clicked the safety back on before slipping my gun into the hoister at my hip.

“What the hell are you doing?” I snapped, stalking over to stand below her. It was a damn miracle she hadn’t fallen yet.

“Hanging out,” she said, her arms shaking from holding on. “The ladder fell when I was climbing up onto the roof.”

“Why were you climbing onto the roof?”

“Does it matter now?” She looked down at me, her face cherry red from the effort to keep holding on. “If you want to watch me break my neck, stick around. I’m sure you’d be happy.”

“I wouldn’t,” I growled. I held out my arms. “Just let go. I’ll catch you.”

She shot me a skeptical look. “Yeah, right. How do I know you can even catch me?”

“I trained in the Navy SEALs,” I said. “So you tell me if I’m able to handle catching a woman dangling from a roof.”

Her arms trembled violently. I waited patiently before she let go of the gutter, squeezing her eyes shut. She landed perfectly in my arms. She was so light that it surprised me. The smell of vanilla and coffee filled my nose. The bare skin of her back felt hot from the sun as it pressed against my arm. I caught a glimpse of her breasts jiggling slightly from the fall before I forced myself to let go of her.

“Thanks,” she said, stumbling to her feet when I practically dropped her. “At least I know you don’t want to watch me break my neck.”

She smiled in wry amusement.

“I’ve seen people with broken necks,” I said. “It’s not a pretty sight.”

“I’m sure.” She held out a small hand. “I’m Jenna Collins, by the way. I never got to introduce myself, because you’ve either yelled at me or ignored me since I moved in.”

I didn’t take ahold of her hand. Her skin had felt way too soft and good against my own. I didn’t want to think of how those hands felt.

“Derek Summers,” I said. “What were you doing up on the roof?”

Jenna glanced up at the gutter that was now twisted from her desperate attempt to hold on. A grimace contorted her freckled face. “I was trying to fix a hole in the roof before it got too hot. I found a raccoon in my attic last night, and I’m confident it’s getting in through the hole up on the roof.”

“Do you even know how to patch a roof?” I asked skeptically. I know she had taken offense to my previous comments about her young age, but she just didn’t seem like the type of woman who could climb up on a roof and know what to do up there.

“It’s not that hard,” Jenna said, puffing up slightly. “I just have to take some of the shingles and nail it down. It doesn’t have to be perfect.”

A chuckle escaped my lips of its own will. She paused in picking up the ladder from the ground, visibly surprised at the sound.

“That is not how you patch a roof,” I said, shaking my head. “If you don’t do it right, you’ll have snow and rain leaking into your attic. That will turn into an even bigger problem.”

“Right,” Jenna said. “So I’ll do it right then.”

I admired her stubbornness and pride; we had that in common. But I wasn’t in the mood to rescue her from the roof again because she didn’t check to see if the ladder was level and steady on the ground.

“Let me do it,” I said. I reached for the hammer that was tucked in the waistband of her jean shorts.

Jenna started back from me in a panicked fashion. I looked up in mild surprise to see fear, such intense fear, flicker there briefly before shame colored her cheeks. That was when I caught sight of the faintest hint of bruises that looked exactly like fingerprints on her forearms. Realization dawned on me then. Her skittish behavior, checking the locks excessively at night, and eyeing me with wariness made sense. All of it made sense. The defiance. The sharp attitude. Every single bit of it clicked into place.

“I can do it,” she said shortly, crossing her arms to hide the bruises. “Thanks, but I’ve got it covered.”

“You’re going to break your neck if you do it,” I said.

“Not that you care if I do,” she said. She turned on the heel of her bare foot. “Sorry to have bothered you. Better get back to sleep before your son comes home.”

Observant landed on that list too, far too observant if she’d already figured out my schedule. My eyes went straight to the tight curves of her ass cheeks in those frayed jean shorts she wore. I tore my gaze away when she turned to look back at me with a frown.

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have come out here,” I said, walking back around to the driveway. “It’s better to fix the roof when it’s cool out, too, like in the evening.”

“You only want me to fix it in the evening because you’re awake then.”

“That too,” I said. “Keep it down.”

I heard a mumbled word that sounded exactly like “asshole” thrown at my back. I slammed my door behind me. Leaning against it, I rubbed the sweat from my forehead while I willed my heart to cool. There was no point in trying to lay back down to get a few hours of sleep. I couldn’t get those images of her bruises out of my mind. Whoever had hit her, he’d hit her hard enough to put her in the house next to me. She wasn’t from around here. That much I could tell from how sun-kissed her skin was. Somewhere from the coast, I imagined. Maybe Florida.

My blood was running hot from feeling Jenna’s body cradled perfectly in my arms, a little too perfectly. I glanced down at the partial bulge in my pants. Sleep was definitely out of the question now.

“Great,” I grumbled, locking the front door. “Something I have to take care of on my own, just like everything else.”

 

Chapter Five

Jenna

 

 

The longer you ignore me, the worse it is going to get. Those words echoed in the back of my mind as I clicked out of my email with a trembling breath. At least I got notifications from my social media in my email account. It was the only way I could check things without alerting anyone to where I had gone.

Leon was the only one who suspected I would use my email account to check my social media pages. Everyone else just messaged me out of concern of where I had gone. I couldn’t tell them, though, as much as it hurt my heart to lose my circle of friends back in California. The thought of Leon trying to hassle them for information put cold fear in my heart. He was angry. He wanted to find me, and I had blind hope that moving to a large city would be enough to deter him.

The library was quiet for a Thursday morning. Everyone was in school or at work. I had spent the past hour applying for jobs that were posted online. Anything at this point would be better than nothing. I could rebuild my life as I went.

I hesitated in gathering my purse. Since falling from the roof, I had done my best to avoid Derek as much as humanly possible with us living so close. Nothing seemed to make that man happy. A cricket would set him off, but not like Leon. He was in control, guarded, and never once seemed physically threatening.

Except the one time he came tearing around his house with a gun pointed directly at me.

Navy SEALs. He’d had combat training at one point in his life. That much I could sum up him from the day he had rescued me from the roof. Running toward the sound of danger had been instinctive for him. Maybe having Derek next to my house wasn’t such a bad thing.

I left the library. Along the way, I rummaged through my purse for my phone to call my mom.

 

“Leon messaged me,” I said the second she answered. “He emailed me, actually. He knew I’d check my email.”

“You’re supposed to close those social media accounts,” she scolded, sighing into the phone. “I know this is hard, Jenna, but you need to listen to what the police told you. You know that jail only pissed him off. When he got out—”

“I know.”

A headache pounded in my temples. The hot summer air settled heavily on my shoulders. The sound of traffic washed over me. The first stirrings of dread started in my chest.

“He’ll come to Colorado,” I said quietly. “He knows where you live, Mom. Remember? We visited you once at Lone Tree.”

Anna blew an angry breath into the phone. “I’m not afraid of him,” she said defiantly. “Hell hath no fury like a mother protecting her child who has been hurt.”

That did not help my fears. It made everything way worse. I rubbed at my eyes tiredly as I climbed into the driver’s seat of my car.

“You should be,” I said.

“Honey, men like Leon live off threats. I’ll contact someone here, though, to see what they say about the situation.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

I pulled up to the house at 8:20 a.m. to find Martha and Derek talking with each other on the sidewalk. I felt Derek’s gaze threaten to burn holes into me as I climbed out of the car.

“I wish I could say that I could watch him,” Martha said. “It’s just too much, Derek, to do that every night. He needs a steady schedule, and he’d sleep better at your house.”

“I know all that,” Derek said, pointedly turning away when I approached them. “It’d just be for a little bit until I can find another permanent babysitter who can stay here overnight with him.”

Martha caught sight of me approaching. Her eyes twinkled mischievously. “What about Jenna?”

“Me?” My eyes widened at the thought of staying in Derek’s house overnight. “I don’t know if—”

“You’re in a need of a job, dear,” Martha said. “That’s what you told me the other day. Derek pays $100 a night Monday through Friday.”

That’s $2,000 a month. I looked up at Derek, who looked less than thrilled judging from the sharp glare he sent Martha.

“Well—”

“I have no idea who Jenna is,” Derek said flatly.

Martha rolled her eyes. “Does she honestly look like a criminal to you?”

“Appearances aren’t everything,” he replied. He ran a hand through his hair in visible frustration. “Please, Martha. I just need this until I can find—”

“I can do it,” I said. They both turned to look at me. “I can do it. I love kids. I took a couple of courses in child psychology as part of my degree.”

“There you go,” Martha said cheerfully. “Problem solved, Derek. It’ll be a good thing to get know your next-door neighbor.”

I caught sight of the wink she sent in Derek’s direction. Realization dawned on me then why Martha had suggested me.

“Martha—”

“Well, I better go,” she said, checking her wristwatch with a smile. “I have to get some errands done before picking up Julie from school. Jenna, call me if you need anything.”

She left us standing there on the sidewalk. I scuffed the heel of my sandal against the concrete while I waited for Derek to say something. I wasn’t thrilled about babysitting for Derek, but the pay was too good to ignore. I needed something to keep going.

“Listen, I can babysit until you find someone else,” I said. “I’m not some horrible child abuser on the run, if that’s what you think.”

Derek’s eyes narrowed at that. “What are you on the run from?”

I stiffened in surprise at the question. “Th-that’s none of your business if I’m on the run.”

“It is if you are going to watch my kid,” he said.

I threw my hands up in frustration.

“Fine,” I said shortly. “I was just trying to offer a solution until you figure something else out. It’s called being nice.” I started up the sidewalk, his gaze burning holes into me. “Maybe you should learn something about that.”

“Wait.”

I paused. Footsteps slowly came up behind me.

“I appreciate the offer,” Derek said, and I turned back to face him. “I go to work at 8:00 p.m. My shift ends at 5:00 a.m. You can sleep on the couch.”

My heart skipped in relief. The last thing I wanted to do was spend time in Derek’s house, but I needed the money until I figured something else out as well.

“I’ll be over at around 7:30 p.m.,” I said. “I can cook Owen something to eat too. I’m not a completely helpless person like you think I am.”

Derek didn’t respond. Dark and tired circles surrounded his eyes. It was hard to read the expression on his face.

“I’ll cook him dinner,” he said. “I’ll expect you around 7:30 p.m.”

He didn’t wait for a reply. He didn’t utter a thank you. I watched the strong muscles in his back flex through his shirt as he walked up the pathway to his front door. Something told me that pleasantries and politeness weren’t a part of Derek’s personality.

He’s still sexy though.

I sighed inwardly. I didn’t need to get involved with another man who was obviously emotionally unavailable or otherwise scarred. I was just going to stay the night inside his house, on his couch, while he went to work. There was nothing strange about that. Nothing would happen.

I had no idea if I was relieved about that or not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Six

Derek

 

 

“My last babysitter gave me chocolate all the time,” Owen said. “I did everything she said because of that.”

I looked over at Jenna, who was standing nervously in the living room, holding her purse close to her chest. She smiled down at Owen despite her nerves.

“You’re in luck,” she said. “I love chocolate too.”

“Not too much chocolate,” I said, too tired to even argue with Owen. All morning I had tossed and turned, trying to get Jenna out of my thoughts. I caught Jenna’s eye. “Don’t let him bully you into giving him more sugar. We had a discussion about this before you came over.”

Owen stuck out his tongue at me. He immediately bounced back over to the couch to grab the book we had been reading together before the doorbell had rung.

“Jenna,” he said, grabbing ahold of her hand, “let’s read this book together. My dad doesn’t like it.”

“Sure,” Jenna said. “Just give me a minute with your dad, okay?”

He pouted. “All right.”

I grabbed ahold of Owen’s shirt before he could shoot up the stairs. He squirmed underneath me when I hugged him tightly, my heart lifting at the sound of his laughter. He had been devastated when I’d told him Hayley wouldn’t be able to watch him anymore.

“Good night, buddy,” I said, pressing my lips to his hair. The smell of his fruity shampoo filled my nose. “Bedtime in ten minutes. I mean it.”

“Fine,” Owen sighed out dramatically.

He slipped out of my arms to run up the stairs. I listened to the patter of his feet across the hardwood floors before turning to look at Jenna. She smiled timidly.

“If you need anything,” I said, holding out a piece of paper with my cell and office numbers, “call these numbers. I always answer at least one of them.”

“Right,” Jenna said. She glanced at my bulletproof vest curiously. “Are you a cop, or—”

“I work for the police department, but I’m not a police officer,” I said.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. I pulled out my wallet to take out a one-hundred-dollar bill. Jenna waved it away when I offered it.

“Pay me tomorrow,” she said. “What is it that you do exactly?”

The last thing I wanted to do was discuss what I had to watch every night. The Internet was an abyss of horrible and dark and twisted things that normal people didn’t think about on when they logged onto their social media accounts on a daily basis.

“I work for the cyber-crime unit here,” I said carefully. “I work on the Internet all night to catch criminals.”

Jenna’s eyebrows shot up in understanding. “Oh. That makes perfect sense then why you are gone at night all the time.”

“You noticed I was gone every night?”

“Well, sort of.” She flushed brightly before turning to look at the bookshelf. “Do you mind if I read a book once Owen is in bed? I lost all of mine.”

“Go for it,” I said, and I didn’t push the conversation further. I took in her tanned and long legs that were noticeable because of the shorts she wore. How would it feel to have those wrapped around me? I stirred in arousal at the thought. “Okay, have a good night. I have to get going.”

I didn’t give her a chance to reply. I gathered my keys from the hallway end table. The hot summer air didn’t help the fact that my skin already felt hot and flushed from imagining Jenna wrapped around me. I wiped away the sweat gathering at the nape of my neck. I needed to do something to release this tension brewing inside me. It was only for a few days until I found a permanent babysitter.

The phone didn’t ring once. Five o’clock rolled around without a word from Jenna. I pulled up into the driveway ten minutes after, wary of what I would find. The smell of freshly brewed coffee caught me by surprise when I walked through the front door. Shutting it quietly so as to not stir Owen, I walked through the dark hallway to where the kitchen light was spilling out.

“Morning,” Jenna said. She stood behind the kitchen island, nursing a cup of coffee while scrolling absently through her phone. “I didn’t expect you to be back before six.”

“I try to get back early to get a shower in before taking Owen to school,” I said. “Do you mind if—”

I pointed to the coffee pot behind her.

“Oh,” Jenna said. “Here. Let me pour you a cup.”

While she poured a cup of coffee, I undid my bulletproof vest with a sigh of relief. I draped it on the back of a dining chair. Jenna held out the cup for me to take. Her fingers brushed against mine briefly. The softness of her skin sent a tingling sensation up my arm. Her blond curls were damp. Gone were her tight shorts (thankfully), and instead she wore a pair of loose sweatpants that hung low on her narrow hips. Her tank top left little to the imagination, though, from her perky breasts to her flat stomach.

“Thanks,” I said, retreating to put space between us. “How did Owen do throughout the night?”

Jenna smiled warmly. “He’s a gentleman. I didn’t hear a peep out of him at all once I told him it was time to go to bed.”

“Good,” I replied, nodding. I took a long sip of coffee to fight of the exhaustion that clouded my brain. A hot shower with Jenna in mind sounded good, but I fought it off. The last thing I needed to do was release myself with thoughts of Jenna. I cleared my throat. “Thank you again for taking care of him while I find a babysitter.”

“No problem.” She tapped a finger against the rim of her mug anxiously. “I’m still looking for a job right now, so if you need me longer than a week, I’m free.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.

Silence stretched between us. My body ached everywhere. I downed the rest of my coffee before setting it on the kitchen island between us. I pulled out my wallet to hand over a one-hundred-dollar bill.

“Thanks,” Jenna said, tucking it into the pocket of her sweats. “I actually had a favor to ask of you since you’re obviously well trained in self-defense and everything else…”

She trailed off a bit uncertainly. That piqued my interest long enough to put off having a hot shower.

“What are you getting at?” I asked.

“There is a person in my life who isn’t necessarily a good person,” she said a bit timidly. “I was wondering if you possibly teach me some self-defense tactics or how to use a gun.”

A sharp coldness settled in my chest.

“If you’re in danger—” I started, but Jenna cut me off smoothly.

“I was in danger,” she said. “I just want to be able to protect myself in case something comes up again.”

“I’m not buying it,” I said shortly. “What is going on for you to want a gun?”

Jenna’s eyes flashed defiantly. “Does it matter to you?”

“It certainly does. Owning a gun is a huge responsibility, one that I suggest you think long and hard about. It can end someone’s life.”

“Never mind,” Jenna said. She set her coffee cup down on the kitchen island. “I’ll be over tonight to watch Owen if you still need me. If not, you know where I live.”

I didn’t call her back. The front door shut quietly a moment later. I walked to the kitchen window to watch Jenna cross the front lawn before disappearing behind a few shrubs. That coldness in my chest melted away. Was he that dangerous? Years of working behind detectives and my fellow officers told me that he was dangerous, whoever Jenna had in mind. She’d done the right thing by moving away, but I didn’t want to see her end up with the emotional scars I carried close to my heart. Watching the life flicker away from someone’s eyes took a toll in a lot of ways. I’d seen it a few times, and I never wanted to see it again. Sidney had never understood why I had chosen to fight from behind a computer screen. “You shot people in the head before,” she had said. “Why fight it this way?”

The morning light spilled in through the curtains. I headed upstairs for a long hot shower before I started the process of getting Owen up for the day. The floorboards groaned beneath my feet as I treaded as quietly as possible to the privacy of my room.

The window was open still. I hesitated in closing the curtains as I always did. Instead, I hunched down to see Jenna collapsing in her own bed. She reached out to wrap her arms around a pillow, holding it tightly to her. It didn’t take a genius to see that she was crying.

I stood up with a sigh. Closing the curtains, I headed straight to the shower. I couldn’t help her as much as I wanted to.

Chapter Seven

Jenna

 

 

“Who is this man exactly?”

I rolled my eyes at the suspicion in my mother’s voice. “His name is Derek Summers. He lives next door to me with his son, who I watch at night while he goes to his job as a detective or agent or something. I’m not sure—”

“Jenna.”

“What?” I asked, blinking at the sharpness in my mother’s voice.

“I don’t think this is a good idea at all. You just got out of a highly abusive relationship that you’re still involved in to a degree. Do you think it’s a good idea to be babysitting this man’s child? You don’t even know him.”

“Everyone knows him,” I said, exasperated. “The neighbor across the street suggested that I watch his kid for him. He’s not a bad person.”

“Honey, you said the same damn thing about Leon,” she said, equally exasperated. “I know how you tend to be sometimes, Jenna. You get caught up with men who aren’t healthy for you.”

“I’m not caught up in him, though!”

“It sounds like you are to me.”

“I’m not,” I said, rubbing at my eyes in frustration. “This is just a job for me to get by until he finds a new babysitter, or until I find a different income. That’s all.”

“Right,” she said sarcastically. “Just keep your guard up, sweetheart. This guy doesn’t sound too good to me. Where’s the mother of that child?”

It occurred to me then that I had no idea where Owen’s mother was. There weren’t any pictures of her in Derek’s house either.

“No idea,” I said. “He hasn’t brought it up.”

“That doesn’t sound good to me. He’s a complete stranger to you.”

“To be fair, I’m a stranger to him too.”

My mothered sighed into the phone. “Where is this going to lead, Jenna? I hear something in your voice that suggests you are hopeful about something.”

I gritted my teeth. I was starting to see the mistake in telling my mother about Derek. She wanted to jump to conclusions. I do want something though. The temptation was there. I could feel it curling in my lower stomach, and if I read Derek’s lingering gazes right, he felt the same temptation. It’d never happen though. There was something dark and painful behind his gaze that kept him back.

The sound of Owen’s laughter reached my ears. I sat up from where I was curled up on the couch below the windows I had opened earlier in the morning. Owen happily waved a Nerf gun as he darted across the front lawn with Derek pumping his own Nerf gun behind him. That carefree smile on Derek’s face warmed me from the inside.

“I’m not hoping for anything,” I said thickly. “I have to go, Mom. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“All right. Call me tomorrow.”

She hung up without question. I dropped my phone onto the couch cushions before sliding my feet into a pair of flip flops. Owen grinned cheerfully at me when I stepped out on the front porch.

“Hi, Jenna! Come join us.”

I started across the damp grass in their direction. I caught Derek’s eye as a guarded expression fell over his face. Gone was that carefree smile.

“If you don’t mind,” I said, hopping over the fence between our yards. “Do you have a spare Nerf gun?”

“Inside,” Owen said, and he thrust out his. “I’ll go get the other one. You can have mine.”

He darted past Derek before either one of us could say anything. Derek shot a wary glance in my direction.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m about to take your ass out,” I said, pumping Owen’s Nerf gun. “That is what I’m doing.”

His eyes widened a bit at that, but that carefully guarded expression remained in place. I pointed the Nerf gun at him. His arms automatically rose in defense.

“I doubt it,” he said, and I caught a trace of a teasing tone. “I’d like to see you try to take me out.”

“Years of Navy SEAL training, right?” I mocked, but I kept a playful smile on my face.

I knew without a doubt that Derek could easily take me out without even batting an eyelash.

“You know it,” he said seriously.

Owen came out of the house with another Nerf gun in hand. He ran past Derek with a delighted cheer before reaching my side.

“Jenna and I are on a team,” he declared, taking a stance next to me. “Just like paintball, Dad. Come find us.”

“You better hide then,” Derek said.

He turned to start counting. Owen’s sweaty little hand grabbed ahold of mine to tug me in the direction of the backyard. I relished the carefree feeling of running alongside him.

“Hide in there,” Owen said, pointing to a garden shed. “I’ll ambush him from behind, because he’ll go looking for you first.”

“The element of surprise,” I said, but my heart pounded at the thought of hiding in a shed with Derek. There was no doubt in my mind that he would find us both without any trouble.

I hid in the shadows like Owen instructed before he closed the door. I watched his tiny shadow dart around the side to hide behind a tree. The smell of fertilizer and soil filled my lungs, and I heard Derek approach with confident steps. My fingers gripped the Nerf gun. My heart pounded hard.

The door opened. The morning sunlight fell in behind Derek as he stepped forward with his Nerf gun pointed directly at me. Maybe it was the way he stood so tall and confident that caused my stomach to twist into a million knots, or maybe it was the way he looked at me heatedly as he let the garden shed door close.

“Hands up,” Derek said, a husky timbre in his voice. “You surrender?”

“No,” I said breathlessly, and held up my own Nerf gun. “Never. I’ll never surrender.”

A ghost of a grin tugged at Derek’s lips. “We’ll see about that.”

He surged forward with such speed and precision that it took me by surprise. The Nerf gun fell from my fingers to the ground between us. I half expected him to shoot me, to end the game there, but his strong fingers circled my wrists instead. I stumbled back into the shed wall. The air in my lungs hitched when he pressed against my body, every strong muscle of his pressing against mine intimately.

The heat in the shed increased. The smell of mint toothpaste fell over me. Heavy pants escaped my lips when I looked up at Derek, who was smiling down at me in triumph. He had planned this. He knew I would be alone, and the blood in my veins raced at the thought. A week’s worth of temptation bubbled inside me. A part of me expected him to release my wrists, but he never did. His hands remained firmly circled around my wrists as he held them above our heads.

Nothing could prepare me for the feeling of him pressing his lips against mine in a bruising kiss that effectively stole the breath right from my lungs. He kissed me hard and deep, pouring every inch of his frustration into me. I kissed him back just as hard. Sweat gathered at the back of my neck, and I arched up into his hard body with a moan. I needed this. I needed him.

“Daaad!!!!”

We broke apart breathlessly. Owen’s shadow crept by the shed walls. I caught Derek’s heated gaze before he took a step back. I quickly gathered my Nerf gun with trembling hands while I tried to cool myself down.

The door opened again, and an array of Nerf bullets hit Derek squarely in the back. Owen shot us both a happy grin. “We won, Jenna! Did you see that? My plan worked. We caught you by surprise, Dad.”

“You did,” Derek said, and he ruffled Owen’s hair with a strained grin. “You both caught me by surprise. Let’s get out of this shed.”

Derek held the shed door open for me. I stepped out after collecting the nerf bullets from the ground. My legs quivered when I looked over at Derek as he slung his Nerf gun over his shoulder. He didn’t meet my eyes again.

“How about some lunch in the city?” Derek asked.

“Can Jenna come with us?” Owen asked immediately.

I caught the hesitant look on Derek’s face. I shook my head at Owen. “Next time,” I said, ruffling his hair playfully. “I have some things that I need to get done.”

Owen pouted at that, but he thankfully let it rest. He darted back into the house to clean up when Derek asked him to leave us alone for a minute.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said abruptly. He looked troubled when he caught my eyes. “I-I don’t know what came over me.”

I shrugged my shoulders, because I had no idea either. The fact that I’d gotten so turned on by just a simple kiss alarmed me. I couldn’t afford to get close to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said, though I knew we both would. “Let’s just forget about it. It won’t happen again.”

“Right,” Derek said shortly, back to his cool demeanor. “I’ll see you Monday evening then.”

I handed him the Nerf gun. “Monday evening it is.”

I felt Derek’s eyes burning holes in my back as I walked quickly to the front. I hopped over the fence. I had no idea what exactly had just happened, but I knew Derek had kissed me because he’d wanted too. And I had kissed him back because I’d wanted too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eight

Derek

 

 

That kiss replayed in the back of my mind for the next few days. It had been far too easy to give in. It had been pure impulse and lust at that moment when I had finally caved into the need to feel Jenna’s lips against mine. It hadn’t helped that I had awoken from a particularly arousing dream the night before Jenna had joined us in the Nerf gun battle.

I needed to do something about this situation. I couldn’t afford to get caught up in another woman’s charms, especially after Sidney. Just thinking of her in Florida in the house I had paid for cooled the heat and hardness growing between my legs.

I logged out of my email right as Marcus walked into my office. He brandished an envelope at me.

“Vacation check, Summers,” he said, tossing it onto the keyboard. “I hope you plan to use it for something good.”

“Maybe,” I said. “I’ll probably just buy Owen a new Xbox and a few games.”

“Or go somewhere besides work,” Marcus said, shaking his head. “You’re one of the best detectives here, but it’s not so healthy to be such a prick all the time.”

I arched an eyebrow. “I’m pretty sure that’s why I’ve solved more cases than the other detectives here.”

“You need a break,” Marcus said. “I’m telling you to take the next week off to spend time with Owen. Take him to the zoo. Take him to the water park. Just do something other than work for a bit.”

He walked out of my office before I could reply. I stared down at the white envelope on my keyboard. A headache pounded in my temples. Maybe a bit of time away would be a good idea. I couldn’t even think straight anymore without Jenna tantalizing my every thought.

I spent the next few hours planning a week away at the hot springs before arriving back at the house right as the morning sunshine warmed it. Jenna, as usual, was pouring me a cup of coffee when I walked in. My eyes went to those long and tanned curvy legs that were visible because of those ripped jean shorts. My fingers itched to reach out and grab at the exposed flesh just to feel her. A week away would get rid of this temptation.

“I’m going to be gone with Owen starting tonight,” I said.

Jenna looked up with surprise glimmering in her eyes. “You are? Where are you going?”

“Vacation,” I said, and I pulled out my checkbook from my back pocket. “I’ll still pay you for next week.”

“How long will you be gone?” Jenna asked.

“For about a week,” I replied, tearing the check-out to hand it over. “I’m sure I’ll find another babysitter during that time, too, so you won’t have to keep coming over here.”

“I want too though.”

I tensed at that statement. The check between us fluttered in the summer breeze from the cracked window in the kitchen.

“I don’t know what I’ve done to make you so angry,” Jenna said, her voice a soft murmur in the kitchen, “but I really like watching Owen. It’s not an inconvenience for me if it’s not for you. I honestly can’t find any other work that helps pay for my bills.”

“It’s not an inconvenience,” I said. “I just thought you might want to do something else besides coming over here.”

Jenna’s eyes caught mine. “I like coming over here. It’s not a big deal for me to help out around here if you need it.”

“I’ll pull the ad then,” I said, grabbing my coffee mug from the kitchen island. “We’ll be back Sunday night, so the following Monday evening I’ll need you to come back.”

I started in the direction of the stairs, but a soft hand on my elbow stopped me. Fingers tugged on the crook of my elbow. I swallowed thickly as I turned around to take in Jenna standing directly behind me. Her long strands of hair were clipped up in a bun on top of her head. I could count the summer freckles peppering her cheekbones. Something clenched hard in my chest. That impulse to lean forward and kiss her lips was there again.

“I never had the chance to apologize for what happened over the weekend,” she said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind her ear shyly. “I-I didn’t mean to kiss you back. It was just the heat of the moment.”

“I kissed you,” I said, shaking my head at her. “I should be apologizing. Why do you apologize for things that aren’t even your fault?”

The question caused Jenna’s eyes to darken. She looked away hastily before turning on her bare heel to grab the check from the kitchen island. “Forget it. I’ll see you boys in a week. Give Owen a hug for me.”

The front door clicked softly shut. I watched Jenna disappear through the front door of her house before heading upstairs. The guest bathroom was still steamy when I passed by it. The smell of Jenna’s shampoo, fresh and sweet, filled my nose. I hardened just thinking about Jenna’s naked form.

“Fuck,” I whispered, treading softly down the hallway to not stir Owen in the process.

I needed to do something to get this tension out of me, or else I would find myself working my way through Jenna’s legs. There was no doubt in my head that we were falling into each other more than we were comfortable with. I couldn’t take it any longer. I didn’t want to do it, but I had to do something.

I closed my bedroom door softly before sitting on the edge of my bed, my erection thick and aching. I took a deep breath before unbuttoning the top portion of my jeans. The first brush of my fingers over the head of my cock brought instant pleasure and relief. I allowed the thought of Jenna, naked and bared to me, sink fully into my brain. Paired with how soft her lips felt beneath mine, it was enough to have me yearning for more.

A summer breeze flowed over me, causing me to shiver. Sweat gathered at the base of my neck as I wrapped my hand around my shaft and pulled up slowly, pleasure dragging me in deep. The soft sound of my panting left my heart racing, my mind filling with carnality. I glanced up to find the bedroom window wide open. Shit. I’d forgotten to close it? A flash of movement stilled my hand before a daring thought consumed me—too daring to refuse. What if she was there…watching? It was the perfect time to play innocent, though I was anything but.

Closing my eyes, I pressed my free hand against my thigh and pulled on my cock, groaning loudly as desire consumed me. I could see her in my mind’s eye, on her knees with her beautiful smile and her pretty pink tongue. Fire started in the center of my stomach and spread out like wicked tendrils of desire, consuming me as I let my imagination go wild. The possibilities were endless, and each was more delicious than the last.

I continued until the coil in my stomach gave out and my orgasm slammed into me. I let out a low moan of relief as I worked myself through the high. My jeans were covered in my pleasure, as was my shirt and fingers. I reached up with my clean hand to brush away the sweat that clung to my forehead before rising from the bed with my pants loose about my hips. I headed to the shower, my blood pumping through my veins so damn fast that I felt dizzy. I needed a shower, but I had to know. I paused and glanced back, sneaking a glance out the window to find exactly what I had suspected.

Jenna had been watching the entire time. She wasn’t so sweet and innocent after all. Good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Nine

Jenna

 

 

The smell of bleach filtered through the smell of freshly cut grass. I tossed one of the rags I had cleaned the all counters with into the washer. Everything smelt fresh and clean. It was all neatly organized too. The wood floors were swept, polished, and smelt of pine. I had spent the entire week from sunup to sundown cleaning every inch of the house.

My mother would be impressed. Pride filled me before shame came slamming back. I had only cleaned to distract myself from those sinful images.

They replayed teasingly in the back of my head. No matter how hard I had tried to tell myself to look away from that window, I hadn’t been able to. My eyes had been rooted to the pleasure contorting Derek’s face as his hand had pumped up and down his—

Knock. Knock.

I jumped at the unexpected sound. Fanning my flushed cheeks with a hand, I left the laundry room to peer cautiously through the peephole on the front door. I let out a relieved breath the second I recognized Martha’s trim figure on the other side.

“Sorry to come over unannounced,” she said, beaming. “I just thought you might like your mail. The postman gets the mail mixed up sometimes.”

I grabbed the few envelopes from her hand. “Thanks,” I said. I half expected Martha to hurry back down to her house to take care of Julie, but she lingered pointedly on the front porch. “Is there something else that you need?”

“Not particularly,” Martha said. “I just wanted to know how babysitting Owen has gone for you over the past few weeks.”

“It’s going fine.”

That clearly didn’t satisfy the curiosity blazing in Martha’s eyes. “Right,” she said. She leaned in to whisper, “I hope that Derek hasn’t been too much of an ass to deal with. He can be such a prick sometimes!”

I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face at that. “He can be. It’s honestly going fine. Owen is the sweetest little boy.”

“I wish I could say he got that from his parents.” Martha shook her head with a sigh. “Neither one of them are the friendliest people in the world.”

Curiosity took hold of me then.

“His mom isn’t either?” I asked.

“Oh, heaven’s no,” Martha exclaimed. “You know there are women out there in the world who are not the most pleasant of people.” Her nose wrinkled. “Well, Sidney, from what I understood, was one of them. I heard horrible things from one of the other moms who is friends with the principal of the school.”

“They must be divorced then,” I said. “I never see any pictures of her anywhere in the house. Derek never mentions her.”

“He wouldn’t. He went broke just to get custody of Owen from her.”

I glanced at the house next door. They had arrived back home yesterday, a day early, but Owen had been the only one to wave, promising to show me pictures of the zoo later. Derek hadn’t even spare me a glance. And for some irrational reason, that stung considering the situation. Though what exactly that situation was, I had no idea.

“How are you handling everything here?” Martha asked kindly. She smiled at me when I looked over at her. “All is well?”

“Everything’s fine,” I said, shrugging. “I’m just cleaning up the house is all. Never-ending projects, it seems like.”

“Usually.” She reached out to grasp my forearm. I watched as her fingertips gently covered the marks Leon had left. They were stubborn. They didn’t want to leave. “I don’t mean to put you on the defense, Jenna, but I want to tell you that I’ve been where you are right now.” A darkness briefly clouded the warmness in her eyes. “I know how hard it is to trust people afterward. It took me a good couple of years to trust my current husband, but not every person you meet is going to be like him.” Her fingers squeezed. “Keep that in mind, okay?”

Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I opened my mouth to reply, but the sound of Owen’s voice calling out my name spared me.

“Jenna!” he yelled, waving at me from the front step. “Come over. We’re barbecuing hot dogs. Come look at my pictures.”

“You better go,” Martha said. She started down the front porch step. “You better show me those pictures too, Owen. I know Julie would love to see them. She’s jealous.”

I closed the front door uneasily. I had no idea how Derek would react to me coming over unannounced, but Owen continued to wave his arm impatiently. He motioned for me to follow him down the hallway and through the sliding glass door. The smell of charcoal and igniter fluid filled my nose when I stepped out onto the hot patio behind Owen.

Derek stood in front of a small charcoal grill, scraping the grate. My eyes landed on the strong chords of his neck where a small cross tattoo was. He froze when he turned around to find me there. Heat threatened to sear through my stomach when those images replayed again. I wanted to see his head tilting back in pleasure because of me, not because of his own hand.

Does he know that I watched? His eyes skimmed over me, completely emotionless. I couldn’t even gauge his reaction to seeing me besides surprise.

“Owen wanted me to come over,” I said, resting a hand on Owen’s hot shoulder. “He wanted me to see the pictures he took.”

“He could’ve shown you on Monday,” he said, a frigid quality to his voice that had even Owen tensing. “I didn’t even know you went out of the house, Owen. You know you are not supposed to do that.”

“I just saw Jenna on the front porch with Julie’s mom,” Owen said defensively. He jutted out his jaw at Derek. “I wanted Jenna to see my pictures now.”

“Another time, Owen. We’re about to eat lunch.”

“But—”

“I said no,” Derek snapped. “That’s that. I am not going to repeat myself.”

Owen and I flinched back. His tiny shoulder quivered beneath my fingers before he let out a small cry. Jerking away from me, he darted into the house with surprising speed and grace. The sliding glass door bounced shut.

“Damn it,” Derek muttered, rubbing a hand over his face in visible distress. “Look, I didn’t mean—”

Anger rushed through me so fast that my heart couldn’t keep up. The patio boards were hot under my bare feet as I walked around the small glass table to jam a finger into Derek’s chest.

“You look,” I said as coldly as possible. “That is your son. You can talk to me that way and act like a prick, but don’t turn your son into a version of yourself.”

Derek’s eyes narrowed at that. “A version of myself?” he repeated dubiously. He grabbed the finger I had buried in the strong muscles of his chest. “I’m doing the best I can given what I’m going through. You’re not a parent, so don’t lecture me on how to raise my child.”

“You don’t have to be a parent to realize that your words affect people,” I said. “If you have a problem with me coming around, then why do you have me come over here at night to watch your kid?”

I had him, and he knew it. The frustration boiled in Derek’s face as he let go of my finger and took a step back to put space between us.

“Because I don’t trust you,” he said. “I don’t trust you at all just like you don’t trust me, but damn it to hell, I want you. That’s all I fucking know.”

Those words washed over me in a crushing wave. He wanted me. Derek Summers wanted me. Sweat gathered in the palms of my hands. The logical part of my brain cautioned that none of this was smart. The last time I had gotten involved with an emotionally cold man, I’d ended up fleeing across the country with only what I could grab in thirty minutes.

Still, that searing heat in my stomach roared to life. I wanted him too. I wanted to feel the weight of that muscular body pressing up against mine. I felt torn between wanting to run away and wanting to stay rooted right there as Derek rubbed at his eyes with a helpless hand. He didn’t even bother hiding the desire there now.

“I want you too,” I whispered, and he stiffened visibly at that. “Maybe we could—”

“No,” Derek said, shaking his head vehemently. “You don’t want to even start getting involved with a man like me. You’ve already been roughed up. I’ll do it to you too, just not the physical part.”

I winced at that. “How do you know I was roughed up?”

“I’m not blind or ignorant,” he said, and he gave me a sad smile. “I see it more than you think. I’ve seen it too much that it has made me cold.”

I crossed my arms to fend off the sudden chill I felt seeping through my skin. This was the last thing I wanted to discuss with Derek. I just wanted things to go forward regardless of the past. Frustrated, I glanced up at Owen’s bedroom window, where I saw his little face dart out of view the moment I looked up.

“It wouldn’t hurt us to get it out of our system,” I said. I wanted it out of my system—the sheer temptation of wondering what it was like. I wanted to claw it right out of my skin.

“You’re so young,” Derek said, a whimsical tone to his voice. “You think sleeping with me will make everything better in your world?”

“It’d help me sleep at night. It’d help you too.”

He looked away at the comment. “Maybe,” he said, picking up the lid of the grill. Gray smoke came billowing out. “It can’t happen, Jenna. It won’t solve anything for either one of us. I’m not going to take advantage of you. I’m not that big of a prick.”

I clenched my jaw while Derek continued to scrape the grill as casually as possible. A small part of me agreed that he was right. It wouldn’t solve anything. Still, I felt a surge of defiance go through me.

“I’ll see you Monday night,” I said. He turned to look at me with an arched eyebrow. I pointed up to Owen’s bedroom window. “You might want to go get your son. He’s listening in on us.”

I stepped off the patio without waiting for a reply. I swung my legs over the fence separating our yards to land on the wet grass. What I was about to do was completely stupid and foolish. I knew it, but I didn’t care.

Derek got under my skin. It was time to get under his.

The opportunity arose when I caught sight of movement in Derek’s bedroom later that night. Don’t do this, Jenna. This is stupid. I couldn’t help it though. Indignant anger still radiated in me, and it mingled with the desire bubbling inside. I had to do something to release the tension.

I hesitated for a moment before sliding my shorts and underwear off. How did I end up in this sort of game in the first place? Crawling to the center of my bed, I let my head fall back onto the pillows as my thighs quivered. I ran my hand down my stomach ever so slowly, arching my back a little as if I were lost in ecstasy. I rolled the pads of my fingertips over my clit and cried out as pleasure seared through me. It felt as if it had been forever. Hot summer air puffed over me in a slow and lingering breeze that came through the open window, and my thoughts were scattered everywhere, trying to figure out how to appear sensual in the middle of bringing myself over the edge.

I turned my head to glance at the mirror facing my bedroom window as I rimmed myself, playing with the deep pulsing that was rolling far inside my stomach. I didn’t want my hand. I wanted him, so damn badly that it left me willing to bare myself to him.

My heart slammed into my ribcage when Derek’s face appeared in the mirror. His eyes were dark with desire while the curtain to his room flapped against his face in the late-night breeze.

He’s watching. Smugness filled me at the thought, and I slid my fingers into my body, lifting my hips a little to meet the pressure. A cry left my lips, and I forced myself to watch him, letting him know that everything I did was because I wanted him to watch. Pleasure danced across my stomach as my nipples grew tight and tender.

I reached up and squeezed my breast as I increased the pace, fucking myself faster, harder…just the way I loved it. The bundle of nerves between my legs twitched helplessly in pleasure as I moaned loudly and came. I gasped for air as I watched Derek’s face in the mirror. He was impossibly handsome. It was so easy to bring myself to an orgasm knowing he was watching, wanting me.

He licked his lips once before drawing the curtains shut violently.

I slid off the bed to gather my clothes from the ground. Tomorrow would undoubtedly be an interesting day. A smile played at the edge of my lips at the thought of how he would react. What the hell were we doing?

Chapter Ten

Derek

 

 

I had no idea what to expect when Jenna arrived on Monday evening with a pizza in hand, much to Owen’s delight. I had seen that challenging glint in her eyes when she had walked away from me yesterday evening. My bedroom window had been open too when I first heard that gasp of feminine pleasure on the late-night breeze. It was jealousy that had me looking through the window, expecting to find some random man in there. I hadn’t expected Jenna to be alone in the middle of her bed with her tanned legs bent at the knee. Her hand had been moving rhythmically in a slow circle between her legs.

Fuck. It had been too much to watch, but I hadn’t been able to tear my eyes away from her until she’d let out a shudder and stopped. There was no doubt in my mind that she had done it on purpose. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her, but I couldn’t do it even if my body ached for her in every way possible. Not after Sidney. Not after knowing Jenna had come from a violent relationship prior to buying the house next to mine.

And it was my fault for doing what I’d done with Jenna in clear view. The moment had felt too good to ignore. The need for Jenna had grown unbearable, and it was driving me crazy.

I slipped on my bulletproof vest while I listened to Jenna and Owen’s voices as they talked over pizza in the kitchen. Even if I wanted to slip myself between those legs, I couldn’t do it. Something cold and hard fell over me whenever I thought of it.

The downstairs phone shrilled twice before Jenna answered it. A few seconds of tense silence followed before I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Okay,” Jenna said tightly. “I’ll get him.”

My eyes slipped closed at that. Why did she have to call right before I went to work, and while Jenna was babysitting our son?

“Derek,” Jenna called out, knocking on the bedroom door. “There’s a woman named Sidney on the phone for you.”

“Fuck,” I groaned, and I opened the door. Jenna immediately handed the phone over to me with a grimace. “What is it, Sidney?”

I shut the door the second Jenna took a step back. The familiar sound of waves crashing down on the beach filled my ear. Sidney was sitting out on the back patio, what used to my back patio, and undoubtedly enjoying a nice glass of wine with the sunset in view.

“Who’s the woman answering your phone?” Sidney asked, her sugary voice making me flinch. “You don’t have a new woman in your life, do you, Derek?”

“No,” I replied shortly. “She’s the babysitter while I go to my job to pay for your every want and need. What do you want?”

“We need to discuss Owen coming out here for a weekend,” she said. “It’s been almost two months. I miss my baby boy.”

“He just started school a few weeks ago.” And I doubted she missed Owen that much. She hadn’t even asked to talk to him first. She’d wanted to know who Jenna was. I knew Sidney better than a lot of the people around her. “I’d have to look into his class schedule. We can talk about that later.”

“Fine,” Sidney said flatly. “Who is the woman answering your phone?”

“I already told you,” I snapped, yanking the bedroom door open. “She’s the babysitter because I have to work at night. I’ll get in touch with you about Owen going up to see you.”

I hung up before Sidney could reply, not in the mood to hear her bullshit about me being with another woman. I wasn’t stupid. I knew a man named Antonio had moved in with Sidney a few months ago thanks to the cable company sending me the bill with Antonio’s information on it. Tossing the handset onto a bookshelf, I made my way down the stairs to find Owen sitting in front of the television with his Xbox turned on. Jenna was in the kitchen, throwing away the pizza box, when I walked in to grab my thermos of coffee. She straightened to look at me.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize who was—”

“Don’t answer my phone,” I snapped. Snatching up my thermos, which was full of coffee thanks to Jenna, I grabbed my wallet and keys as well. “My ex-wife is a bitch. The less you talk to her, the better your life is. Trust me.”

Jenna blinked in rapid succession several times. “I won’t answer the phone then. You don’t have be such a grumpy ass about it.”

“I’m this way for a reason,” I said. “Stay clear if you don’t want to deal with it.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

I didn’t bother responding. I needed fresh air. I needed to get out of the house and away from Jenna. After pressing a dodging kiss to Owen’s head, I climbed into my truck with a relieved sigh at the prospect of driving for thirty minutes in peace and quiet. The drive did little to ease the tension out of me though.

I sat down behind my desk ten minutes before my scheduled shift only to find Marcus pausing by my cubicle on his way out.

“The frown on your face suggests you didn’t have any time to relax like I’d hoped,” he commented darkly. “Summers—”

“I know,” I said, pulling my keyboard close. “I need to consider therapy or whatever shit you want me to do. I’ll do it if you tell me to.”

“I am telling you to do it,” he said. “I get that you are going through a divorce, and you’re bitter about it, but I’m starting to think your job isn’t helping either.”

“Probably not.” I looked up at Marcus with a small grin. “You can’t say anything though. I’ve caught some criminals that detectives have been trying to catch for years.”

“That part is true, but I know how tough your jobs are. It’s not easy to see the things you see and carry on as normal a life as possible. There’s something else going on with you too.”

Jenna. My throat clenched. That was what was going on with me. I wanted Jenna, but I had no fucking clue how to even maintain a relationship anymore. I had a gut feeling that Jenna had no idea either. I couldn’t stand the thought of some man laying his hands on her, or any woman to be accurate, but I was no better than him.

“Nothing is going on with me,” I said. “Have a good night, Chief.”

Sensing the end of the conversation, Marcus walked away with a weary sigh. He didn’t bother to have another conversation the next morning either when the day shifts started. I drove home in the dark with a cup of coffee in hand. It was 4:10 a.m. when I walked through the front door as quietly as possible. This time the kitchen light was off, and I found Jenna curled up on the couch with a book tucked against her chest protectively.

I paused beside the couch in the dim light from the lamp in the corner of the living room. Her long blond hair was pulled back in a braid that twisted about her shoulder. Crouching alongside her, I reached forward to tug her braided hair free. The softness surprised me. My fingers gently stroked the silky strands. Her tanned and freckled face was completely relaxed as she slept on, oblivious to me right next to her.

My fingers traced a path down the curve of her slender arm before reaching her fingertips. I sucked in a deep breath to control the blood raging through me at the softness of her skin. Up close, I could smell that vanilla perfume she wore, and it smelt incredible. I wanted to bury my nose in her skin just to inhale that scent, because it fit her perfectly.

Jenna stirred slightly then. Before I could move away, her fingers curled over my wrist to keep my hand where it rested on the soft curve of her waist. I swallowed thickly when I looked up to find Jenna’s eyes wide open.

“That feels good,” she whispered, voice thick with sleep. “Keep going.”

My skin tightened at the invitation. I felt the heat radiating off her petite frame. It’d be so easy to pull that blanket back and find my way between those legs. It’d be so easy to kiss her again.

“I can’t,” I whispered. “We can’t—”

“Just shut up and kiss me,” Jenna said.

She didn’t give me a chance to argue. In one smooth motion, she leaned up on an elbow to press her mouth against mine in a hot kiss that instantly burned me. I kissed her back just as greedily, weeks of pent-up lust unleashing between us. A small voice cautioned that I had wanted to stay clear of something like this, but I couldn’t resist it any longer. I had to have this woman even if I regretted it.

Jenna’s hands smoothed around the back of my neck before she buried her fingers in my hair. Her teeth nipped at my lower lip. I growled against her lips and started to climb over her on the couch before Owen’s sleepy voice called out.

“Dad? Is that you?”

The both of us froze at the sound of feet padding softly in the direction of the living room. I pulled back to look down at Jenna as both our chests heaved in an effort to control ourselves. Her lips were swollen from our kisses. The centers of her cheeks were flushed.

I scrambled off Jenna right as Owen emerged from the dark hallway. He rubbed at his eyes sleepily, one side of his hair sticking up from sleeping in one position all night.

“What are you two doing?” Owen asked, looking at Jenna as she sat up hastily as well. “What time is it?”

“Way too early for you to be up,” I said. I scooped him into my arms. Nothing could ever replace the feeling of Owen resting against me with such ease and comfort.

I didn’t bother turning around to face Jenna as I carried Owen back up to bed for another few hours of much-needed sleep. He didn’t protest when I tucked him back into the warmth of his blankets. I lingered in the darkness of Owen’s room until my body calmed down from the rising heat.

It had to stop. I ran a hand through my hair out of frustration. It only took one kiss to hook me in without any hesitation. That was the effect Jenna had on me. It was only a matter of time before I caved in, and it was only a matter of time before one of us got hurt.

The sound and smell of coffee brewing filled the house. I closed Owen’s door quietly before facing Jenna in the kitchen. She had pulled her up into a bun while I’d been putting Owen to bed, but her ruby colored lips were still swollen, a reminder of what had nearly happened.

“We can’t keep letting this happen,” I said.

Jenna didn’t look up from studying the kitchen counter. “I know,” she said softly. She looked up at me. “What do you want to do then?”

“I honestly have no idea. Owen really enjoys you over here. You’re the only reliable babysitter I can find.”

“I like coming over here,” Jenna said. “I already told you it’s not a big deal if you are going to go down that path again.”

I sighed wearily. To keep distance between us, I used the kitchen counter as a barrier.

“Don’t you have goals you want to get done besides hanging around here?” I asked. “School? Another job?”

Something flashed in Jenna’s expression. She turned to grab two coffee mugs from the cupboard. “I have to have a job to go to school,” she said, pouring us both a cup. “I’ll go back eventually. I loved it.”

She slid a mug across the counter to me. I took it without hesitation. A headache started to pound in my head as I took a seat at the breakfast bar. Jenna leaned her elbows on the counter, and it gave me an opportunity to take in the swell of her breasts.

“Why did you stop then?” I asked, tearing my eyes away before she noticed. “If you loved it, then why don’t you go back?”

“I have my reasons.”

“Like what?”

“It doesn’t matter now,” she said stiffly. “I’m twenty-three years old. I’m a consenting adult like you are. This doesn’t have to be so complicated between us.”

“It is though. I have my son to think about,” I said, and my heart ached just thinking about everything he had been through over the past year. “I’m tempted; trust me. You don’t have to do much to sway me, but I’m not open to this because it only leads to heartache. I’m not a romance type of guy.” I looked over at Jenna as she sipped her coffee slowly. “How are you so open to a relationship after what you went through?”

Jenna’s eyes darkened as she looked down at the coffee mug cradled between her hands. Silence stretched on between us for a while.

“I have to be,” she finally said, looking up at me. “If I’m not open to anything, he wins, and I don’t want him controlling me anymore. He wants me to stay clear of other men, relationships, and anything that makes me happy.”

I met her gaze steadily. “So you run headfirst toward anything that would defy what he wants?”

“Maybe,” Jenna said, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s petty, sure, and not healthy. I hear about it all the time from my mother, but can you blame me? Don’t you ever want to defy what your ex-wife really wants from you?”

I had a creeping thought that Jenna had a valid point. She was doing her best to move on from a violent relationship. Taking her life back by doing the things he didn’t want her to do wasn’t necessarily healthy, by any means, but she had a good point.

It occurred to me then that there was only one solution to this problem, but for now, I looked Jenna squarely in the eye. She stared at me in wordless understanding.

“I think about that all the damn time,” I said. “All the damn time.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eleven

Jenna

 

 

“What is holding you back?”

I stared down at the brochure for one of the colleges an hour away that my mom had brought to lunch. Just staring at it made my stomach twist into painful knots. The last time I had been in school—

“You’re too stupid to be in college,” Leon said flatly. “Drop out. You can’t handle it. Look at this apartment. You can’t balance your duties here. Plus, I don’t want you hanging around some of those male classmates of yours.”

“Jenna?”

I blinked a few times before looking up at my mother, who sat across from me in a pretty white dress and a large sun hat. The sun bore hotly down on both our shoulders as we sat on a stone patio outside a brewery downtown. I could feel the tops of my shoulders burning.

“Nothing is holding me back,” I said. “I just don’t know if I can handle it right now. I’d have to drive an hour every single day to go to classes.”

“That never was the problem before,” Anna said. She looked at me intently. “Don’t let that man stay in your head. He is not in control of you anymore.”

“I know that,” I snapped, picking up my glass of water. “I just have a good job right now doing—”

“That isn’t a job, Jenna. Not a real one. He’s paying you for something else. I can feel it.”

“Mom—”

“Just listen to me, sweetheart,” she said, and she reached across the table to grab my sweaty hand. “As much as I am proud of you for doing what you have done, you have to take charge of your life fully. Getting your degree, getting a job—it’s all part of the process Leon never wanted you to do.”

There were times I knew my mother was still traumatized from what had happened. She became fixated on things she thought she could fix. The damage Leon had done on our lives, she wholeheartedly believed she could mend it if I let her.

Except she couldn’t fix all the damage, and I had a sneaking suspicion that this college brochure was one of the ways she planned on trying to fix me. There were things that couldn’t be fixed, plain and simple.

“It’s not about Leon anymore,” I said. “I’ll think about it, Mom. Thank you.”

Sensing the end of the conversation, Anna retreated into her normal pleasantries about the events going on in her retirement home. I drove her back to my house after she insisted on seeing the things I had fixed up on my own. In the middle of a pleasant conversation over slow-cooker recipes, she blurted out, “Is there a man on your porch?”

My heart raced when I leaned forward to see past my mother, who was also leaning forward to catch sight of who was on my front porch. The cross tattoo alerted me that it was Derek who was crouched in front of the porch railing in a pair of mesh gym shorts and a ripped tank top. He looked up when I pulled into the driveway.

“Who is that?” Anna asked suspiciously. She lifted her sunglasses to look at Derek as he stood with a hammer in hand. “Wow. He’s a bit strong. Who is he, Jenna?”

Sweat dripped down my back. My shirt clung uncomfortably to my back as I turned the engine off with a trembling hand. What is he doing at my house? Of all the times to come over unannounced, he does it when my mother is here.

“He’s my next-door neighbor,” I said, my voice hitching slightly. “He trained in the Navy SEALs, and he works for the police department as a cyber detective. I—”

“Is this the man who pays you to babysit his son?”

“Yes,” I said, and before I could say anything else, she opened the passenger door. “Mother, wait. Let me—”

She slipped away from my grasp before I could say a word. Her delicate heels clicked on the pathway up to the porch. Fumbling with my seat belt, I scrambled out of the car to follow behind her with my stomach knotting in dread. This would not end well.

“You must be Derek Summers,” she said coolly as she held out a delicate hand. “I’m Jenna’s mother, Anna Collins.”

Derek took ahold of her hand briefly. “Nice to meet you.” His eyes swept over to where I stood nervously next to my mother. “I was just helping Jenna fix up the porch railing.”

I didn’t let my skepticism show. I’d never asked him to fix the porch railing. I wanted to fix the house on my own. He knew that despite insisting on trying to help me whenever he caught a glimpse of me outside. There was something else he wanted.

“Right,” I said. “He helps me with things like the roof. I nearly broke my neck last time I tried to do something like that.”

Derek’s lips curved up in a ghost of a smile. He pocketed the hammer in the elastic band of his shorts and tugged on the porch railing firmly.

“It’s not loose anymore,” he said. “I better go then. I’ll see you later, Jenna.”

I nodded mutely, but my mother had been watching us with a curious frown. She reached forward to place a hand on Derek’s arm. He surprisingly didn’t tense at the contact. Every time I touched him, intentional or not, his muscles seemed coiled.

“Thank you for helping my daughter,” Anna said. “There’s not very many handy men in the world like you. My husband had been one of them.” She motioned to the front door. “Come inside to get a drink. I’m sure Jenna has something she can make.”

“That’s all right,” Derek said, and he caught my eyes as he brushed by me. The smell of freshly cut grass clung to the air around him along with the summer heat. “I have to get some sleep before picking up my son. You can thank me later for the porch railing.”

My jaw fell open at that. Was that some sort of hint? I watched Derek stride across my front lawn without sparing another glance. He hopped over the fence a second later before disappearing into his house.

“He’s rather curt,” Anna said, tugging on the porch railing herself. “What does he mean by thanking him later?”

She frowned in confusion. I clicked my jaw shut. There was no way in hell I was going to explain what he meant. I didn’t need that sort of lecture.

Fumbling through my purse, I found my house keys. “No idea,” I said, and I opened the front door. “I’ll just tell him thank you when I see him later this evening.”

My mother swept into the hallway without hesitation. “Rather strange that he just shows up here, though.” She turned to give me a withering look. “Please tell me he doesn’t have a key to this house.”

I shut the front door with an exasperated sigh. “No, Mom. Why would I give him a key to my house? We don’t even know each other.” Unfortunately.

“I just know how you are, Jenna. You tend to fantasize about the bad boys. You did it in high school too. Why, I have no idea. Your father—”

“Mom,” I cut in, a headache starting to pound in my head, “let’s not talk about this anymore. Do you want to see the house or not?”

She smiled brightly then.

“Of course I do. Show me everything.”

I spent the next couple of hours playing hostess until my mother hailed a cab to drive her back to Lone Tree. I waited until her cab was out of sight before walking across the front lawn to Derek’s front door.

“Hi, Jenna,” Owen said, hugging my legs tightly. “I have something cool to show you from school. It’s a rock collection that Dad ordered for me.”

“Cool.” I grinned down at him. “I’m into rocks. You can tell me all about them.”

I closed the front door behind me while Owen bounced up the stairs to retrieve the rock collection. Derek poked his head out from the dining room when he heard my voice.

“I ordered you both some food from an Italian place that I know,” he said when I entered the dining room. “Spares you the task of cooking with Owen. It’s damn impossible too.”

The smell of garlic bread filled the room. My stomach grumbled happily at the thought of eating something besides TV lunches and dinners.

“Thanks,” I said. “Were you wanting something earlier this morning?”

“Your porch railing was loose,” Derek stated, and he didn’t turn around to look at me as he fastened his bulletproof vest. “I just thought I’d fix it for you is all. You’ve done a lot for me.”

His movements were agitated as he grabbed the things he needed for the night. Upstairs, we heard Owen’s feet darting back and forth in his room in search of his rock collection. My skin tightened against my body when Derek’s eyes darkened slightly. He took a step in my direction, and calloused fingers brushed along my neck a few moments later when I didn’t protest.

A shiver of pleasure went up my spine at the contact. I had been hoping it had had something to do with this. Being around Derek was just too damn hard. I forgot the world whenever he was around. I forgot Leon. I forgot all of it.

And I craved this more than anything in the world.

“Are you sure that’s what it was about?” I whispered.

The late evening light spilled in through the kitchen windows. It cast a soft and warm glow on everything, including the hard lines of Derek’s face. Up this close, I could see the silver specs in his eyes and the faint bristle of a beard on his strong jaw.

“No,” he admitted, his voice husky again. “I wanted something.”

Butterflies fluttered madly in my stomach. Heat seared through me when I tasted mint toothpaste on the lining of my lips. I was going to kiss him again. Screw the consequences. My hands reached out to gingerly touch the bulky vest underneath his shirt.

“Like what?”

“I wanted something like this.”

His lips pressed against mine in a hot kiss that instantly had me squirming against him in pleasure. I kissed him back just as fiercely as our tongues fought for dominance. Strong arms wrapped around my waist to hold me securely against the hardness of his body. It felt too damn good to pull away.

“Hey, Dad, have you seen—”

We broke apart hastily when Owen stepped into the kitchen. He looked between us with wide eyes while I stumbled back from Derek as quickly as possible. Tears filled his eyes, and guilt instantly washed over me.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his bottom lip quivering. “Why are you kissing Jenna, Dad? You’re supposed to kiss Mom only.”

I caught sight of the conflicted look on Derek’s face. It hit me then why Derek had fought so hard against our attraction. Not only was he scarred from his ex-wife, but he had a child who didn’t understand what had happened.

I chewed on my bottom lip nervously. I had no idea what to say to help Owen calm down, but it was clear from the crestfallen look on his face that nothing we could say would help. He turned on the heel of his foot before darting up the stairs again. His bedroom door slammed shut a second later.

“Fuck,” Derek said, rubbing an aggravated hand through his hair. He turned to look at me with a sigh. “I never know what to tell him when it comes to his mother. He doesn’t understand what divorce means.”

“He shouldn’t have to,” I said, twisting my hands together. “I could try to talk to him, if you don’t mind, while you’re at work. Unless you want me to—”

“No,” he said sharply. “Stay here. I thought about everything you said the other day.”

“You did?”

“Yes, I did.” His eyes reminded me of a thunderstorm brewing in the distance right before it unleashed a downpour or rain and lightning. “I don’t have time to talk about it though.”

“Right,” I said. “We can talk later. I’ll talk to Owen.”

“Thank you.” To my surprise, Derek leaned forward to press his lips against mine in a quick kiss. “I’ll be back a little early, though, so we can talk. Is that a problem for you to be up early?”

I had no idea if it was a promise of things to continue, but there was no chance of me sleeping in. I’d stay awake all night after putting Owen to bed if I had to.

“I’ll be awake,” I said, and I kissed him. “I promise.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twelve

Derek

 

 

“It’s normal for a child to feel upset about this sort of thing. Divorce isn’t a concept in a child’s mind, and when it happens, it’s not a concept they like.”

I stared across the neatly organized desk of James Peterson. He was the psychologist assigned to help out the police department. I didn’t entirely mind him. He didn’t do the psychobabble I hated from the previous psychologist I had dealt with over the years. He had offered more advice on Owen than trying to understand me.

“I don’t know what to tell him,” I said.

Guilt tasted bitter in the back of my mouth. I still couldn’t erase that devastated look on his face when he had walked in on Jenna and me.

“Just be as honest with him as possible,” James said empathetically. “If this woman means a lot to you—”

“I don’t know her,” I responded sharply. “She’s just my neighbor is all.”

James smiled knowingly. He interlaced his fingers and leaned back in his chair to regard me with curious eyes.

“She sounds like a lot more than a neighbor if you were caught kissing her.”

“She’s attractive. What man wouldn’t want to kiss her?”

A surprising burn filled my chest at the thought of some other man trying to kiss Jenna.

“You know what I mean, Summers.” James chuckled heartily when he caught sight of my expression. “You don’t have to be stubborn about it with me. You can have an attraction to another woman after a divorce. No one will judge you.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not about that. I don’t give a shit what Sidney thinks about it. She’s moved on with her new boyfriend of the month anyway.”

“What’s the hold up with you then?” James asked.

“No hold up,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I just don’t think someone like Jenna would do good with someone like me.”

“How so?”

“For starters, I’m older than her by at least ten years. I have a kid who’s already confused enough with what happened. She’s just starting out in life, unlike me. You pick.”

“And none of it honestly has to do with this past of hers you told me about?”

I looked down at the carpeted ground. It was so late, almost 11:00 p.m. I had called James into the precinct to talk about Owen after leaving the house with his tear-rimmed eyes watching me from his bedroom window. Jenna assured me when I called in around 9:00 p.m. that he was calm and in bed. “He’s just confused,” she’d said. “I told him you would talk to him about everything. I didn’t think I’d be the best person to talk about it.”

Did her past bother me? I had no idea who the guy was. Jenna never mentioned his name, and I resisted asking because I’d look for information. I had access to everything on my computer. All I needed was a first and last name to look up the report.

“No,” I said shortly. “Thanks for the advice, James. I have to get back to work.”

I rose from the chair. James stood up as well and loosened the tie around his neck a bit. He clapped me on the shoulder as I held the door to the small, quiet room open for him.

“Next time,” he said, shaking his head, “call me in the morning if it isn’t an emergency. It’s too much trying to figure you out this late at night.”

“Right,” I said. “No phone calls unless it’s an emergency. I swear.”

I kept to my word for the rest of the night. It wasn’t until 4:20 a.m. that I remembered I had asked Jenna to stay awake for one good reason. I swallowed thickly when lust raged right through me just thinking of the few kisses we had exchanged. Jenna’s lips were soft, so soft that I had to tell myself not to press too hard.

Don’t do it, Derek. Don’t do it. You can’t afford to get caught up in another female’s charm.

I glanced down at the partial bulge in my pants. I sighed in aggravation while I clocked out for the morning. Something needed to be done, and even if it was wrong, Jenna had a point. Maybe just that one time would be enough to get it out of our system. She was great with Owen despite what had happened earlier. I didn’t want to compromise that, but my entire body would go blue in the process of having her around.

I needed it. I needed her.

The drive home along the interstate was long and dark. All the lights, except the one in the living room, were off. My heart rate increased when a dainty hand pushed the curtains back. Jenna peered out the window as I cut the engine off.

“I started coffee,” Jenna said when I closed the front door behind me as quietly as possible. “I wasn’t sure when you were going to be back.”

“Great,” I said. “I need some.”

I stepped into the kitchen while Jenna turned the living room light off before joining me. She shut the kitchen door to keep the light from coming out it wouldn’t wake Owen. I poured us both a cup of coffee.

“He wasn’t upset all night, right?” I asked, leaning up against the kitchen counter.

Jenna shook her head. “No,” she said, lifting up her cup to take a slow drink. “He’s just confused, Derek. He told me he has no idea what happened besides that you packed up one day and the both of you came out here.”

Guilt gnawed on my heart. The child truly got the worst of it during a divorce. I’d never thought through all the anger to explain to Owen that sometimes things truly didn’t work out between parents. It was still a fresh wound to think about those first few weeks of fighting Sidney on our finances and custody of Owen.

“I know. I didn’t want to explain it to him,” I said. “I was pissed during the whole thing. I just never thought it’d be easy to explain to a five-year old what had happened.”

“What did happen?”

I took a long drink of hot coffee. “She had an affair.” Images of Sidney’s legs wrapped around some man’s waist flashed through my head. I could still hear that over exaggerated moaning. “She was upset with me over not putting her as the beneficiary on a life insurance policy. So, she found some clueless bastard to have sex with in my bed.”

“That’s horrible,” Jenna exclaimed, horrified. “I don’t understand how people rationalize that sort of thing to themselves.”

“I can’t either, but it happened.”

I shoved those images away from my mind to focus on Jenna standing in front of me, dressed only in a large sleeping shirt, barefoot, and her long hair pulled up in a messy bun. The faint smell of vanilla filled the air along with the fresh coffee.