Chapter 14

Katie

I had just showered and noticed Cam's car drive up the street, so I thought I would pop round and see Emmy and him as I had missed them yesterday. I dressed casually and headed off up the street toward his house.

I could see the front door was unlocked, so I knocked and entered.

“Anybody home?” I shouted.

“In here,” I heard Cam call.

“I just caught you. I thought it was your car driving up the street,” I replied and started to unpack his groceries.

“You do not have to do that,” he replied, a little embarrassed.

“It’s alright. Just say I’m making up for yesterday,” I giggled.

“So, where were you yesterday? I waited and expected to see you, but you never showed, which I thought was strange,” Cam said, puzzled.

“Ah, it sounds like somebody missed me then. So, did you miss me?” I added while leaning on the kitchen counter.

“I may have, but I was more concerned for Emmy. She had no one to play with apart from me,” Cam said as he closed the front door.

“Wow, I must have had a massive impact on you. No one had ever missed me before,” I laughed.

I felt girly and horny the moment he said he might have missed me. Geez, it wasn’t often a guy had often bothered that much about me to ask where I had been or why I had not shown up.

“So, what did happen yesterday? From the road, the house looked deserted when I got home,” Cam said, placing the cans in the cupboards.

“What an afternoon; it was a real drag,” I started to explain.

“It must have been boring. Was there no bar?” Cam asked with a laugh.

“Geez, I wish there had been. I had to go to lunch with Dad and he was meeting one of his old friends from way back,” I explained.

“Well that doesn’t sound like it was a real drag,” Cam said.

“They only tried to get me matched up with his son. Like one of these arranged marriages,” I said.

“Ah, I see. They are trying to find you a mate?” he asked.

As soon as I said it, I thought I might have just offered him a little too much information about what plans Dad had in store for me. I know Cam had a lot of personal issues he was slowly working through, but I didn’t want to confuse the matter by telling him. But I already had.

“Well, is he a college graduate with distinction, and he comes from a prominent family?” Cam asked.

“Yeah, he sounds like a real bore, don’t you think?” I replied, while stacking bottles into the refrigerator.

“Not really. It could be a god sent, you never know. I mean, it could be one of the best things that has happened to you,” Cam said in a straight tone.

I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly, but I though he had said the college nerd could be good for me. God, is he out of his fucking mind? If I had heard correctly, it was not a thing I wanted to hear from him, not after the weekend anyway. Right now, I only had eyes for him. My first.

“Cam, did I hear you correctly then?” I asked as I closed the refrigerator.

Cam looked at me a little surprised. Had he not realized what he had said? Maybe he was just surprised that I was pissed about the comment?

“Did you know what you just said to me?” I asked.

“Yeah, I said the kid from college could be good for you. Why? I mean, what’s wrong with that?” he asked.

“I have no idea why you would say that after the weekend. You get me into bed and take my virginity, and then the first mention of me being with someone else? You’re fucking fine with it?” I snapped.

“Geez, Katie, don’t get so wound up. It was a just conversation. Did I say I wanted to get rid of you? No. Did I say I did not want you to come round here anymore? No. If that’s what I wanted, I’d make it happen. I won’t really be glad to see the back of you once some brainbox from college drags you off into the sunset as his bride,” he added, laughing.

“It isn’t fucking funny, Cam! I’m dead serious. The weekend meant a lot to me, and for me to think it meant nothing to you, well that is just fucking soul destroying,” I replied.

We carried on putting the groceries away, and I wasn’t sure if he meant it and was covering his tracks, or if it was just some stupid conversation. I had become confused. Fuck, I was supposed to be a wild child, and now I was worried about what someone was saying about my relationships. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t be like that.

“Just relax for a while, Katie. Emmy missed you yesterday. I will finish putting all this stuff away,” Cam said. I walked into the living room.

“How’s my beautiful girl?” I said to Emmy and lifted her from her walker. It was better for me to focus on her for a while anyway. I was getting overly emotional, thanks to Cam and his laidback persona.

I played with Emmy on the carpet for a while. She laughed and giggled with me as I rolled over and made silly animal noises. Thankfully, just being around her calmed me down.

“You wanna stay for dinner Katie?” Cam called over the counter.

“It’s alright, I can grab something later,” I replied.

“You’re more than welcome to. I ordered a large sixteen slice mother of a pizza, and there is no way I can eat it by myself,” he replied with a wink.

“God, I love pizza.” I honestly didn’t want to be anywhere but with him, but having a little time apart sounded smart too. Fuck. I wasn’t leaving, and I knew it. “Sure. I’ll stay. Not that I should stay though. I should be storming out of the door right about now,” I replied with a sarcastic tone.

“Why would you want to do that sort of thing?” he asked as he started to prepare the table.

“Cam, it just seems like the first chance you get to palm me off onto someone else, you seize the opportunity to do it,” I said, a little upset.

Cam looked up from setting the table. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mentioned one kid who my dad introduced me to, and you made a comment that it would be good for me to go out with him” I gave him a look. “You should have tried to stop me. What the hell?”

“Katie, just listen to yourself. It wasn’t me who introduced you to this kid, was it?” He lifted his eyebrow and gave me a scalding look. “It was your dad. He’s the one who started scheming to get you paired up with what’s his name. Not that I blame him. The guy is closer to your age and--”

“And if he did?” I said.

“If he did what?’” Cam replied.

“If he married me off and I rode into the sunset with Greg? His stupid ass name is Greg, okay? Then would you be the slightest bit bothered about all of it?” I added sternly.

“Of course, I would, but just look at us, really,” he said.

“What do you mean by look at us really? I see nothing wrong with us at all. You can’t deny it. We are drawn to each other,” I said roughly.

Cam looked at me as he sat on the dining table chair and clasped his hands in front of him. “The relationship has not started on the best footing, and it doesn’t look like we could make a future out of it.”

I sat with Emmy on the floor and I was determined not to let the lump in my throat or the tears in my eyes show themselves, not tonight. My heart sank. I felt like shit. He was right, but there was no damn way I was letting him go.

It appeared to me that Cam had not even considered going any further in the relationship. And, he hadn’t thought further than fucking me. Like some whore that babysits! That’s how I felt.

I had got to a point where I had enough. Maybe he was a dad just thinking I would bow to his suggestion and go running off with a rich kid. I thought it would be an easy life. It appeared to me now; everyone underestimated me and had never considered the thought that I had emotions. Katie, the wild child, good for this and good for that, but a bit of a tease. God, none of them knew and they had no fucking idea who I really was. I had protected my virginity for fuck's sake, so that must have equated to some good morals.

“Cam, you’re a fucking coward,” I said.

“Whoa, where did that come from?” he asked, shocked.

“You have never considered that this relationship could go somewhere, have you?” I retorted.

“I hadn’t considered it; I hadn’t thought about the future that much. I have been pre-occupied with what was happening now,” he replied.

“Cam, you’re digging yourself a bigger fucking hole for yourself here,” I answered in a pissed tone.

“I’m shocked that’s the way you have looked at everything. I really am,” Cam said.

“I had thought about it, yes, I admit it, and not just because you had swept me off my feet and I had a huge crush on you. No. I had thought about it logically and realistically,” I explained in detail.

“So, how would you explain it all?” Cam asked.

“Well, for starters, have you any idea how pleased Dad would be if I got married to a Navy man?” I snorted.

“Yeah right. Your dad knows what Navy men are like,” he said with an eye roll.

“I should have re-phrased it better, if you were that Navy man, you know how pleased he would be if it were you?” I added.

I heard a knock at the door and watched as Cam went and answered. He returned with the large box of pizza. The smell instantly filled the room, and I could picture myself just biting down into that crispy base with the cheese oozing and stretching. God I couldn’t wait.

“You want to eat yet?” Cam asked.

“Not yet. We haven’t finished talking,” I answered in a sarcastic tone.

“Okay, proceed you were about to say…”

“I know what I was going to say, thank you very much. Dad would be over the moon if it were you. He knows you’re not just another Navy guy,” I said.

“Why so? What makes me so special?” he asked, looking with genuine eyes.

“Come on, Cam. He was overjoyed and grateful you saved me from Peter,” I added.

“And?” he answered.

“Dad as you know, played the angle and got me to come around to yours to help out with Emmy. There is no way he would have done that with anyone else,” I explained.

“Huh, that’s no reason to base a future relationship on it. I could be a total dick behind all that,” Cam said as he peeked inside the pizza box.

“It’s not just that. You’re a two-time fucking war hero who is decorated. God, how many men can say that about themselves,” I said hungrily.

“That’s different. That doesn’t mean I would be good for a relationship with someone’s daughter who is ten years my junior, does it?” he asked.

“In my dad’s eyes, that makes your head and shoulders above everyone else. Not just in the Navy, but in civilian life as well,” I said. Now my body craved pizza even more.

“Well, to be honest Katie, I know how things have gone between us so far, but, a relationship?” Cam asked.

“What’s wrong with that?” I replied, slightly pissed at him.

“It’s been a long time, and I’m just getting my head around it all again. I mean it’s a shock to me,” Cam murmured.

I listened to how the conversation was going and it could quite easily be the last time I visited Cam's house. But deep down, and no matter what he said, I was sure he was hiding something. And if he wasn’t hiding it from me, he was hiding it from himself. He had to realize I wasn’t a kid. I just had an attitude that made me look like I was childish and irresponsible, but my heart told a different story altogether.

“Cam, you have just used me, or that’s how it looks to me,” I said in a raised voice.

“Katie, that is so far from the truth. I’m not like that and I would never do that to you,” he said as he stood and walked toward me.

“Well, that’s the way it feels. You get me into bed and now, you don’t want a relationship. How does that work without using me?” I said, placing Emmy back into her walker.

“I promise you, it was never supposed to be like that. It is not you, it is me,” Cam tried to explain in a sympathetic tone.

“I don’t want you to pity me, Cam, I’m not some fucking kid you know,” I said. I stood in front of him brazenly.

“Katie!”

“I’ve had enough of this conversation. I’m going,” I grabbed my jacket and started to walk to the door.

“Katie, honestly, it was not how I wanted it to be. It is just…,” Cam started to say as I opened the door.

I began to walk down the driveway and was pissed and angry that I had been so stupid in thinking he would have even considered dating me as an ordinary woman. I should have seen it coming, and I was pissed at myself for believing there could have been more between us.

“Katie, wait!” I heard Cam call from behind me.

I turned to face him. “Yeah?” I said, standing at the bottom of the drive.

“You forgot the pizza,” he said.

“Enjoy it by yourself, Cam,” I said and turned around, slowly walking home as the tears started to flow down my cheeks.