Chapter Thirteen

Aidan

I KNOCK THE WALL in Magnolia’s living room with the side of my fist. “These walls seem pretty sturdy,” I say, gaze flicking to Magnolia. Kendall is sitting on the sofa scrolling on her phone. Dinner was quiet, her daughter only speaking when her mother prompted her to respond.

Magnolia’s neck works as she swallows. I let my grin spread wider. “They are, but it will be easy to open up the one in the upstairs hallway to get to the electrical.” I’m under the guise of a repairman, and a friend. Magnolia choked when introducing me to Kendall and I helpfully supplied the profession. I know this has to be hard for her. Difficult in the way that anything is when you don’t have any experience with it. I’m in it for the long haul so I’m willing to take baby steps even if it makes my chest hurt not being able to touch her. “You’re sure that’s where the electrical is for the ceiling fan, down here?”

Magnolia nods and casts a furtive glance at her daughter. “Kendall, can you think of anything that needs to be repaired in your bathroom?”

Kendall looks up, both eyebrows raised. “No, Mom. Is there anything you can think of that needs to be repaired?” Her sentence is laced with venom.

“Don’t talk to me like that, young lady. What has gotten into you?”

Kendall drops her phone on the cushion next to her and clasps her hands on her lap. In a move that tells us, even me, a person unskilled with kids, she’s going to unleash some sort of demon. “Stop lying to me, Mom. He’s not a repairman,” Kendall snaps. “I’m not an idiot. Don’t treat me like one. Can I go to my room?”

I clear my throat and draw two sets of eyes. “I can repair anything,” I deadpan. It’s a semi-lie. If I can’t fix it, my bros will know how. That’s the same thing.

Magnolia puts up a hand to silence me.

“I wasn’t sure how you would react if I told you I was dating Aidan, Kendall. Everything is tricky—tedious. I’m not lying to you,” she says, shaking her head. “I love you and I wanted to do what was right by you.”

“Mom,” Kendall fires. “The second he walked into the house I knew what he was to you. I’m not some child you need to shelter. Dad messed that up, remember? You are my person. The person I trust. I’m old enough to recognize,” Kendall says, pausing while she glances at me, and then back to her mother, “whatever it is between two people who…like each other. It’s obvious to me, so please don’t treat me like a child.”

I take a breath for the first time in at least thirty seconds and put one hand in my pocket. With the other hand, I hike a thumb over my shoulder. “I can let you guys talk?”

“No,” Magnolia says, patting the seat next to her on the loveseat. “Sit down.”

This is a lot to take in. I realize now how serious of a thing this conversation is. I break out sweating. I’m barging into this broken home claiming a position that has been vilified up until this very second. Crossing to her, I sit. She takes my hand and squeezes hard.

“I’m sorry, Kendall. I’m sorry,” Magnolia says.

“It was actually me who did the lying if we’re being technical,” I offer.

Kendall glares at me. “What are your intentions for my mother?”

Magnolia starts to speak, but I cut her off. “I’m going to fix the ceiling fan first and foremost,” I announce. Kendall grins. Magnolia sighs. “Then I’m going to make sure nothing else breaks.”

“How can you do that?” Kendall asks, raising one brow.

I’ve been hooked up to lie detectors at least a dozen times. There is training we’re given on how to be deceitful, how to sway the test in our favor. I’m good at it. Right now, though? I’m sweating like a whore in church. Honesty is the only option. “Well,” I say, clearing my throat. “I guess I can’t promise nothing else will break, but I will always be here to fix it. I might not be a perfect repairman, but I’m a quick study. I’ll always give it my all. Your mom is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. I’d fix anything for her.”

Kendall is silent, contemplating her next attack, I’m sure. I glance at Magnolia and her eyes are glassed over.

She sniffles once and says, “Kendall, I’m happy. Aidan makes me happy in a way your father never did, but you are my first priority. If you are uncomfortable having Aidan around, just say the word and we can continue our relationship out of your world.” Magnolia shakes her head. “I wouldn’t be offended in the least. I’m serious. You are more important than anything else.”

It’s in this moment that I realize what everyone says about parenthood is true. After children are born, there is a change, and everything revolves around them. There is a small itch inside that wants me to be jealous of that fact that Magnolia will never be only mine. However, the rational fact is, Magnolia is a good mother. A mother I wish I had. A mother I’d want for my own children if that day ever arrives. That is what matters. She releases my hand and folds herself into Kendall, giving a giant hug.

“Do you think I’m some sort of monster, Mom? Of course, I don’t care if he’s around,” Kendall sniffles, burying her face in Magnolia’s long dark hair. “I was just upset that you lied to me. I’ve known. You’ve been acting different. Something has been up. Keep me in the loop.”

Magnolia pulls away, and wipes at Kendall’s tears with her thumbs and tucks her hair, the same shade as her own, behind her daughter’s ears. I’m an intruder in this moment, but I can’t look away, can’t stop reliving a childhood when my only wish was to have someone wipe my tears.

I’ve never wanted something more than I want Magnolia in this moment. I want to make her mine forever. For everything she is. For everything she isn’t. I’ll give her everything I can give her, make sure she knows she’s loved, knows that Kendall will always be cared for.

“Kendall,” I say, my voice cracking. Both of them look at me and it’s a little jarring how similar they look when they’re upset. My heart pounds as the adrenaline hits. “Your mom is the very best part of my life.”

Their smiles are identical, and an emotion washes over me. An unfamiliar feeling. The best way to sum it up is: mine.

“Okay, okay. Enough of this. I have ice cream for dessert. Let’s hear all about the camp, okay?” Magnolia blurts out.

Kendall opens up, the wedge that was there through dinner is gone. She’s a happy, bubbly teenager. Truth. That’s all it took. All that was required to gain her favor. Magnolia squeezes my side as she passes by on her way to the freezer. The dynamic in our world has changed and I like it.

I’d do anything to keep it.

Anything.

“Tell me about yourself. I already know you came to town when that base did,” Kendall says, grabbing my attention.

“I did. I love Bronze Bay. It’s been good for me,” I reply, meeting Magnolia’s gaze. “It’s been slow lately.”

“You’re a Navy SEAL then?” she asks, eyes big and rounded. She already knows I am, she wants to hear me say it.

Clearing my throat, I form the speech in my head and change it to the truth. “Yes. I am.”

“That’s so cool. So, you can like kill anyone?” Her tone is hedging on sarcastic.

I grin. “Not just anyone,” I say, biting my bottom lip to stifle a laugh.

“That’s enough about that, Kendall,” Magnolia chides, setting a bowl of ice cream in front of her daughter. “You mentioned you were riding your bike down to the beach again. Isn’t it a little late? Juliet isn’t here either. I’m not sure if I’m okay with you going down there by yourself. Are you meeting that boy again?”

Kendall pauses, and her gaze darts left. She’s going to lie. Most definitely. “No, Mom. It’s a group of people like before. No drinking or drugs or illegal activities. Plus, don’t you want some alone time?” Oh, she’s good. Really good.

“No,” Magnolia replies. “But I guess you can go. Tracking on your phone. We can rent that movie when you get back?” Her tone is hopeful, with that right amount of desperation that I imagine a teen needs to hear to be agreeable.

“Sure Mom. That sounds great. Will Aidan be joining us for a movie?”

I shake my head. “No. No. I’ve occupied enough of your mom’s time this weekend. It should be a girl’s night.” I’d love nothing more than to infringe on movie night, but I need to find my place and rushing things won’t bode well for my long-term goals. Patience. That’s what will get me to the end zone.

Kendall shrugs. “You can stay if you want. I don’t care.” She pauses, seems to consider something and turns to face me, chin tilted up. “I’m just going to say it. Word on the street is you’re a bit of a player, Aidan. Not only that, but you like younger women. It’s not my place to say anything,” Kendall says, apologizing to her mom and continues. “Don’t’ be that kind of person. That’s what I wanted you to know...” Magnolia looks shocked her daughter has spoken with such fierceness on her behalf. “So, yes, you can stay, but I’m on to you.” Kendall looks away.

I clear my throat. “I can assure you I have the best intentions and don’t have any plans to hurt your mom in any way. I do appreciate your fire,” I say, grinning. Kendall’s straight face stays in place. “I mean it. You received bad information from the Bronze Bay rumor mill.”

Kendall nods and sighs, long and hard. I reassure her once more. “I can’t stay for a movie tonight. I have stuff to do at home and an early alarm. Rain check for sure, though.”

Magnolia looks disappointed, but I know I’m making the right decision. I shovel the last scoop of ice cream in my mouth, wash my bowl, and bid my farewells as effortlessly as I can make them seem. Kendall grunts and waves, and Magnolia walks me out to the mudroom. Her eyes are wide and beautiful. I blink a couple of times to erase my stymie.

“Thanks for tonight, Aidan. That could have gone awry and you reined it back in. Sorry, for Kendall. The gossip around here really is something.” Magnolia shakes her head. “You’re so good. I can’t believe my luck. Thank you.” She goes on her tiptoes and kisses me quickly on the cheek. We’re far enough from the dining table that Kendall can’t hear us, but she would be able to see our head above the swinging doors that separate the kitchen and mudroom.

“Hey,” I say. “I was honest. I think that’s the best course of action for me. I caution you that I have no idea what I’m doing. This is all fly by the seat of my pants, but I’ll always try. Okay? Know that.”

“I know,” Magnolia replies.

Kendall flies past us both, hitting the screen door at a bolt. “Riding my bike down to the beach. I have my cell. I’ll be home in an hour, Mom. Nice meeting you, Aidan. Remember I’m watching you!”

“Be careful,” Magnolia yells at her back.

“Sure thing, Mom!”

“Don’t talk to strangers,” Magnolia adds.

“Strangers shouldn’t be your worry,” I whisper. “Boys she knows already are the problem.” I grin. Magnolia swats me on the shoulder.

“Do I need to remind you that I was younger than she is when I got pregnant with her? I have every right to worry about every boy in the world. Strangers or not.”

“I’ve never been more acutely aware of that fact now that I’ve met her. She is a carbon copy of you. I’m sorry. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Don’t worry. Too much,” I add. Magnolia turns to watch Kendall pedal her bike away. “That must have been hard. Giving up your childhood like that. So quickly.”

“It wasn’t easy,” Magnolia says. “But I’d do it again if given the chance. She’s everything to me.”

“I know,” I say. “You are doing a good job, Magnolia. In case no one has told you that lately. She went to bat for you against me because she cares about you.”

She turns. “Thank you for saying that. Sometimes I think I can’t do anything right by her.”

Taking her waist, I bring her closer. “Don’t think that for a second. I’d be happy to call you mom.”

“Aidan, that’s weird as hell.”

I chuckle. “I know. But you smiled and that made it worth it.”

“I read these articles that say once you divorce that the child should be the only focus, that parents having other relationships just ruin the kids even more. That was my worry, you know? That her seeing me with another man might trigger something and make her even more miserable.”

“I’m not Paul, Magnolia. Kendall knows that. Do you?”

Her glassy eyes pool, and a tear slips. “I’ve never been more acutely aware of a fact in my life,” she says, using my words. “I didn’t expect happiness ever again. Especially by using a dating app. It feels like a dream.”

I kiss her lips. She tastes like vanilla. My dick responds, but I pull away before I get too carried away. “Dream about me tonight.”

“Banging me up against a wall?” Magnolia adds, pecking my lips with hers once more.

I press my lips into a firm line. “I meant something more sweet and romantic, but you went ahead and took it there, so yes. My lips on your neck. You moaning into my ear. My body filling yours. An orgasm or two that makes your legs tingle. Me coming inside you. It dripping down your legs and onto the floor. Me kissing you. Putting you to bed. Dream of that.”

“Well, that sure gives me a vivid visual,” she says, breathing heavily.

“I should go before it’s a reality instead of a dream.”

Magnolia nods. “Did you mean what you said about the best part?”

I lay both hands on the sides of her cheeks. “You are my best part, Magnolia.”

She smiles, and another tear falls.

I wipe it away with my thumb.

_______________

The work meeting was tiresome and there’s a possibility I might have to head to San Diego for some medical studies they do on SEALs every so often. San Diego is still the main base that houses the bulk of our specialized facilities. It would just be for a week or so, but the thought of leaving Magnolia makes me uneasy. It’s foreign. The attachment—this tug on my heart that’s never been there before.

“You’ve been busy lately, man,” Mercer drawls from an old leather chair in our rec room at work. There is a bar in here and we eat lunch here some days. Photos of our brothers killed in action line the walls and awards and news articles of our accomplishments are tacked on the wall with haphazard care. It’s a man cave to the extreme. It smells a little like sweat and gunpowder. Someone is cleaning a gun on the counter behind me.

Tahoe walks in and slinks into a chair next to me. “He’s got a lady now. My how things change, am I right?”

I hate that he’s right. Hate the years I spent naysaying, calling coupled dudes pussies. Quite the opposite is actually factual. Being in a relationship takes fucking balls. Huge ones. More nerve than is required to steal a life. It takes diligence. Persistence. Patience. Work. “You were right,” I say, taking a sip of keg beer. “You heading to medical tomorrow too? I’m trying to get out of it.”

“Yeah, I’ll head over there. My back’s been hurting,” he says, rubbing his lower back. “Should have the specialists check that over.” The sleek black boats we ride are torture on our bodies. We don’t sit on them. We stand. And our spines take a beating as we speed on the wake. Most of the SEALs have some sort of lingering pain due to the trauma of our training. Hearing loss is common. So is back and neck pain. “You can’t get out of it, dude. Might as well do it now.”

“I know. I was just settling into small-town life. Heading back there won’t be good for the mind, you know?” That’s where all of my mistakes are buried. The women who I passed my time with. The failed relationship. The atmosphere that fostered a person I’ve walked away from.

Tahoe chuckles. “It will be different. Feel different. Plus, it’s just for a week. Even Aidan Mixx can stay out of trouble for a week.”

“I can,” I affirm. Then I ask him about his life and listen to him talk about his family. I leave the conversation feeling a resolve—an unwavering commitment to the decision I’ve made about my future with Magnolia. It’s a huge step, one I never in a million years thought I’d want to take. It’s because I never met her. Never knew something this strong could exist.

I visit Magnolia at her store on my way home from work and she locks the doors and we ravage each other on a bare mattress upstairs twice before I finally leave for home. When I stopped in it was to just say hello, and I told her as much, but I think that it stoked the flame even more because she jumped on me almost immediately. She wasn’t happy when I told her I had to go to San Diego for a week, but she understood. Quality time with Kendall would never be a bad thing, she said, and there were a ton of activities going on at her high school Magnolia could attend and help out with.

Just because she’s okay with it, doesn’t mean I’m okay with leaving her. My apartment is silent and dark when I come in and throw my keys on the table—the blankets from our sleepover still on the floor. I slept there last night, too. It smells like her. It’s safe. I shower and I’m about to turn on the television when I catch sight of a note on the countertop. It’s written in Magnolia’s girly script. It’s an address. Somehow, and I’m not sure why, maybe it’s my SEAL intuition, I know it’s my parents’ address. It didn’t take her long to figure this one out.

Even though she has my best interests at heart, I’ll never be able to face them again. My parents are near San Diego. Where I’ll be for an entire week. They must have moved there recently. I wonder why they went there. It couldn’t possibly be because that’s where I was, so what was the reason? The address gives me enough to contemplate and to fill my brain with. I text Magnolia to tell her goodnight but make no mention of her note. I fall asleep in our love cocoon dreaming of the SoCal skyline. The dream swiftly morphs to fucking Magnolia against a wall. Her whispering that she loves me.

_______________

“Woah, woah, woah, what are you talking about?”

Kendall is furious, standing in front of me in the kitchen. I came to say goodbye to Magnolia before I boarded the plane for San Diego. When I saw her busy in the garage, I decided to meander into the house for a drink of water. Obviously, a huge fucking mistake. Huge.

“He told me you are a player. That you’re just using my mom. He told me you’re going to leave her because she’s too old. All you SEALs like them young,” Kendall says, face tear-stained.

I hold up my palms. “Who said this?”

“That doesn’t matter! It’s true isn’t it?”

“It’s not true. I’ve told you this before! Who told you that?” The panic sets in. I’m not equipped for this scenario. I have no idea what to say to calm a teenaged girl. When Kendall first confronted me about this, I assumed it was town gossip. It’s evident now that’s not the case. “I love your mom.”

“Bullshit. You’re using her to get to me.”

I swallow hard. Her father. The younger woman he had an affair with. Kendall is projecting her fears onto me. That’s the only explanation. “Kendall, calm down. That’s not true at all.”

“I’m off limits so you’re getting to me through her. That’s what Leo said.”

Anger. Seething red anger beats at my rib cage like an animal seeking freedom. “Leo told you that? What else did he say?” I’m going to kill the kid. Slaughter him like a goddamn enemy on the battlefield. He’s miserable and he’s taking everyone down with him. The guy is a motherfucking grenade.

“I can assure you everything he said is false. Did he touch you?” Another breed of fury rears when I envision Leo doing anything untoward to Kendall. “Be honest with me.”

Kendall looks away, out the window. “Don’t do that,” she yells.

“What?” I ask, my tone louder than I intended.

Her face wilts. “Pretend that you care about me.” My heart breaks.

“I do care about you. I love you and your mother. This is it for me, kid.”

She aims a finger at me like a gun. “You’re such a liar. Like all men. Every one of you! All you do is lie!”

It takes a second or two for her accusation to settle in. For the horror and shock to take hold. I don’t say anything.

“You want me.”

I shake my head, sadly. How fucked up is this? “Not like that, kid. Not like that.”

“He told me so. I believe him,” Kendall says, glancing quickly out the kitchen window. “And I’m going to help my mom now before it’s too late. I want her all to myself and I’m going to save her before this goes on any longer.”

I furrow my brow. “What?” My anger is so permeating, I can’t calculate her next move, and I should, because it’s my job to predict others’ actions. Love has fucked me up and down and every which way a person can be fucked.

The back screen door slams. Magnolia. Kendall throws herself into my arms and I think she’s hugging me. Like maybe she’s upset and wants to be comforted by a father figure. She’s distraught. That’s not a leap, right? But then she twines her fingers into my hair and presses her mouth against mine.

 

What.

 

The.

 

Fuck.

 

Is.

 

Happening.

 

I put my hands against her shoulders, but my body is shocked, unable to process what is taking place. I don’t move my lips as Kendall’s work against mine, in fact, I don’t move a fucking muscle—not even to breathe.

“Aidan,” Magnolia yells. “What the hell is going on?” Her sweet, albeit broken voice dashes the haze surrounding my body. I push Kendall away in a stiff jerky movement. Facing Magnolia, I see the pain. The betrayal reflecting in her eyes. I see her reliving her worst nightmare once more. My stomach churns and my heart pounds.

“Magnolia. No. No,” I plead. My voice sounds wrong. As if I’m outside, listening to someone else say the words. I see the sever—the disconnect, and I know nothing I’ll say will matter. There is no witty joke or cocky swagger that can repair the scene she sees in front of her. I swallow hard.

 

Fuck.