The pain pushing against my zipper is nothing to fucking joke about. Having the 1968 Shelby Mustang purr down the open highway is making my dick hard. The life. The car is that fucking sexy! Traveling back to a place I never wanted to return to slices through me more than I thought possible. And it hasn’t been sunshine and rainbows. That’s for fucking sure.

I focus in on the Steve Miller Band singing about shaking a tree. The miles tick by and my dick eases up. State lines pass by, and my heavy heart eases up a bit. The fuel gauge ticks way too close to E. Pulling over to the nearest gas station with the highest gasoline prices; I smile and can’t even find a reason why.

My phone blares out “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, and my cold heart warms. I know it’s the only girls who can warm up my soul. The engine goes into park, and I slide across the FaceTime green circle dot. It takes a few seconds before the two girls who own my heart appear.

“Uncle!” They squeal in unison.

“Excuse me, my queens, did you call the wrong number.” I crook up an eyebrow.

“Uncle.”

“Do you mean the hottest man alive?”

“Uncle.”

Both of my brows shoot up.

“Uncle.” Juliette’s face nears the screen. “I beat you in Battleship.”

I roll my eyes. “Only because I let you, you little cheater.”

Then in unison Izzy’s sweet face appears. “Uncle, I’m your girl.”

My heart squeezes tightly. It hurts. Hurts damn bad. I’d never had a home until Izzy came screaming into my world. It’s been her dad, me, and her the last five years. I have to fight back the tears threatening to attack my soul. My mom is the only person I’d leave this little girl for.

“Hey, baby.” I tap the screen right on her cute, button nose.

“Do you miss me yet?”

I think for a long moment and even tilt my head to the side. “Well, uh, I do miss you, but not the damn unicorns, Barbies, and dolls.”

“Uncle.” She kisses the screen. “Do you still have your good luck charm?”

I reach over picking up the doll she sent me with. “You mean this ratty old thing?”

Her smile lights up the screen on my phone. “Yes.”

Juliette interrupts us. “Where are you? Are you in New York yet?”

A dark chuckle escapes me. “Nashville, girl, Nashville. I grew up there. I’m not there yet.”

“Uncle, you wearing your seat belt and obeying the speed limit?” Izzy asks tapping her chin.

“Yes, princess sheriff.”

“We have to go,” she whispers. “We stole Daddy’s phone, and he’s waking up.”

This makes me smile. The girls love me so much because we have the same mentality level. Yes, I’m just as big of a kid as them and have no problem with it.

“Call again. I love you girls so much and miss you. And Izzy?” I wait until her bright eyes stare back at me. “You’re my favorite thing about every day.”

Her tiny teeth shine brightly. “I know.”

I can’t force the good-bye to leave my lips and just wait until the girls hang up. I’ve told Izzy that same thing since the day she was born. Cub and I were in such dark places after returning home from Afghanistan. The way Izzy came to us was even more of a fucked-up story, but once we held her in our arms, all of the mess vanished. Cub was pretty much a single dad the day she was born and me, being his best friend, was right by his side.

The insides of me feel hollow and lonely in the middle of America. The closer I get to Nashville the more old memories and feelings flood in. Mom never wanted me to return. She wanted more for me. Her cancer had been in remission for years. There’s a lingering feeling she kept the fact from me when it struck again. The woman is stubborn and vigorous.

After filling up the beast, I saunter into the gas station to pay and realize I’m too tired to carry on down the road. There’s a shithole hotel across the road in the dinky town. The room is less than desirable, but a place to lay my head.

I know sleep won’t come easy with the violent thoughts rolling through my brain, so I search the local watering hole. Small towns across America like these are notorious for having that one hometown bar that loves to look cross-eyed at the roamers who waltz in. That kind of shit typically turns me off, making my insides turn, but with the fear I’m facing back in Nashville, the thirst for whiskey trumps it.

The bar is dimly lit with an uneven plank floor. Clouds of smoke float throughout the bar and on cue the normal crowd swivels to look at me. My hand runs through my shoulder length hair giving everyone a nod. Either I’m not that interesting or the town gossip is too deep tonight because they all go back to their own business.

Saddling up on the end of the bar that’s deserted, I order a whiskey neat. The woman behind the bar is a looker, not the typical toothless, heavy smoker, small-town bartender. She’s young, with tits that would fill my palms easily, and a brilliant smile to top it all off.

“Want to leave your tab open?” She slides the clear tumbler my way.

I nod then down the drink, eyeing her wiping down the bar. The cheeks of her ass play peek-a-boo with her short jean shorts.

Cub taught me the greatest lesson in life. Even though Izzy is the love of my life, the heartache the man endured tangoing with a psycho like Mae taught me to wrap it every single time. My heart has never healed from my childhood, granting me the power to love another person. On the other hand, my dick is very active with one-night stands and fuck buddies. After all, I am all man.

She reaches over with the damp, white rag smelling of bleach swiping at the bar near my hand. I reach out and grab it tugging her tiny hand to me. There’s a sparkling diamond ring on her wedding finger. I stare at it for long moments then gaze up at her face. Her cheeks flush a sexy crimson. I don’t use words to ask, but continue to stare waiting on her answer.

“It’s over,” she squeaks out. “He left me behind. I wear it to keep the local slime balls away.”

“And out of town studs?” I ask with a raised brow.

“Wouldn’t have explained if I didn’t want you. Your choice.”

She pulls away. I study her movement as she mixes another drink. She surprises me when she slides it my way across the bar.

“I’m off in ten minutes.”

She goes about her work, mixing drinks and closing out tabs. My dick throbs under my jeans needing a fucking release. I grab two twenties out of my wallet, toss them on the bar, and then walk out to the parking lot to wait for her. The night air is chilled and feels good on my damp, heated skin. The sky is littered with twinkling stars dancing among the depths. I study them as I wait.

The sky has always fascinated me. Intriguing my curiosity with its massive expanse of hollow space, but yet, yields streaks of beauty with clouds and stars. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever have any beauty inside of me. I have the hollowness down and the dark mass coating my insides. The scars of my past and war have permanently tainted me.

The door of the bar slams shut followed by the blonde beauty walking toward me. My dick hardens seeing that she hasn’t put on a jacket and is still in her black tank top that’s hugging her tits. That’ll be my palms soon.

The tip of my boot scuffs up the gravel as I ease off the light pole I’m leaning on. She’s fucking sexier out in the dim lit parking lot than when she was behind the bar. Her hips, sway, and lips…

“I live with my momma.” Her sweet and very slight Iowa accent is adorable.

She’s the kind of girl that would be so easy to sweep out of this one horse town and turn into an honest woman. There’s a hunger and desire deep in her eyes screaming for more.

“I have a hotel room,” I reply, reaching out my hands toward her.

She takes it without hesitation moving into my body. She’s a good foot shorter than me, wraps her arms around my middle hugging me tightly. Her scent delicate, tender, and sweet reminds me of fresh picked cherries.

This is the part I should ask her name. But leaving that part a mystery only adds to the intrigue the evening offers. My palm rises to cup her cheek as her silky hair falls through my fingers. She nuzzles into my touch with her eyes fluttering shut.

Leaning down I brush my lips against her. The hint of her taste nearly buckles my knees. I need to devour her mouth right now since the whiskey isn’t numbing my thought process enough. I know myself well enough to know that once I get a taste of her; I’ll have her bent over in public taking her hard and rough.

“Let’s go,” I whisper brushing her lips with each syllable.

I’m a greedy motherfucker, so I swipe my tongue between her lips getting a slight taste of her. Tonight is going to be fun. She’s silent on the walk across the street to the only hotel in town. Her hand never leaves mine.

“Shit.” I stop in front of my room. “Are you hungry or anything?”

I'm a dickhead only thinking of my selfish needs. Even though I’m a manwhore who doesn’t have the capacity to commit, doesn’t mean I treat women with no respect.

“I’m good,” she barely squeaks out.

“Hey.” I lift her chin with my pointer finger forcing her to look up at me. “You alright?”

She slightly shakes her head from side to side. Her bottom lip quivers in unison. “But it’s not you. I need to forget. Can you do that for me?”

I nod. Unlock the door, and we enter the musty room in silence. The key to the room skids across the dresser and when I turn around the woman is pulling out a large bottle of Jack Daniels from her bag.

She raises it up in the air giving it a light shake. “Looked like you wanted to drink more tonight.”

“You’re right.” I step closer.

“I can’t drink when on the job.” This time she takes a step closer.

My hand shoots out gripping her hip and pulling her to me. She uncaps the bottle, brings it to my lips, and tilts it, giving me the perfect shot. She mimics her actions but on her lips this time.

My other hand wanders down to the hem of her shorts. She reaches down with her hand, letting the button free and the zipper down.

“Name,” I hiss.

“Lou.”

“Lou?” I ask.

“MaryLou Jean Williams. I go by Lou.”

“You tell me when to stop, Lou, and I will.” My hand goes down the front of her shorts until my fingers sweep through her folds. “I won’t hurt you.”

Her dark blue eyes peer up at me. The pain masking them is nearly unbearable. “It’s not possible to destroy me after the life I’ve lived.”

She doesn’t ask my name, only wants me to make her forget during the lonely hours of the night. I’ve been there so many times, fighting my nightmares, finding solace in whiskey or sex. It’s an empty fix but it numbs the thoughts for a bit.

Her head tilts to the side when my fingers sink into her heat. The bottle dangling from her fingers sloshes in the quiet room. My dick painfully pushes against my jeans. Without asking, she raises the bottle to my lips offering me another drink. I open up, not missing a beat, and swallow the stinging liquid while pumping my fingers in her.

Lou moans softly before taking a swallow of the whiskey herself. Her sweet core clenches my fingers, and I know she’s damn close. Three more strokes and she’s falling apart.

“Your turn.” She hands me the bottle.

Lou kicks off her cowboy boots then wiggles the rest of the way out of her shorts. The pad of my thumb brushes her bottom lip before I offer her a drink. Her sexy full lips spread. Her pink tongue darts out, licking the rim of the bottle and it’s my turn to groan finally. The things this woman is doing to me.

I watch her throat bob as she swallows the amber liquid. Lou brushes her mouth with the back of her hand before she sinks to the carpet. I watch in awe as she frees my dick. If the mood weren’t so serious, I’d pop off a joke about handling my weapon with care. Safety first and all that shit. But the intense atmosphere between us bounces off the walls. Two fucked-up people seeking relief for one night is all we are.

Her tongue strokes my dick like it just did to the bottle then her lips wrap me up tight. The warmth of her mouth nearly makes me shoot my load down her throat. I tip back the bottle taking another drink trying to distract myself.

Lou’s hands cup my balls as she takes me from base to tip. Each time nearly popping her mouth off. The action causes me to grow frantic, never wanting this little vixen to stop.

My hand winds in her hair, gripping it tightly. I pop her mouth off my dick then put the bottle to her lips. They’re red and swollen from making love to my cock.

“Show me,” I growl.

Lou’s mouth fucks the bottle just like she was doing to my dick. I thought it would ease the need to release. But I’m dead fucking wrong. She takes a small swallow then goes back to working my dick over. I don’t let her remain there long.

“Gotta have you, babe.”

Lou protests when I raise her up to her feet but quiets when I toss her on the bed. She doesn’t have to ask me to put on a condom. I have one rolled on and am lowering over her in a matter of seconds.

Her thighs fill my hands as I squeeze them, dragging her to the bottom of the bed. The back of her legs rest against my chest as I sink into her slowly. Her lips wrapped around my dick diminished the reality of my life, but being balls deep is something else.

All shreds of self-constraint, tender loving care and gentleman behavior flies right out the fucking window. We ravage each other with each move of our bodies. Lou’s fingernails dig into my flesh sending a piercing pain shooting through my body. Neither of us slows down. Lou spreads wider for me, tilting her hips up in the air, giving me all of her.

Our dark skies collide together releasing our pain in the unhealthiest way. The bottle of Jack is nearly empty and our bodies exhausted before we both fall into slumber.