Cyprus

Rubbing my palms up and down my thighs, I sat in the car as Nick and Birch stood outside. Taking in deep breaths, I felt the hard metal of the gun against the small of my back, and I was tempted to stuff it under the seat just so it wasn't there to taunt me.

What am I doing here?

Why did I agree to this?

My nostrils flared open wide as hot oxygen seeped into my nose. I could feel it as it trickled down the back of my throat like molasses and filled my lungs. I didn't want to be a part of this at all.

I said I'd do this. I can't turn my back on them.

Where would I be if they had done that to me?

Birch tapped my window and I flicked my head to look at him. Waving his hand, he nodded his head for me to come out. My hands felt like dead weight as I gripped the handle and popped the door open.

My nerves were on high alert, tempered by just my stubbornness to stay calm. This wasn't me, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was one of them; deep down, I knew I wasn't.

I was forcing something that wasn't there. On the outside I was a Rottera, but on the inside I was still that lost little girl, struggling to find her place in the world.

That place found you, you have to accept it.

“Let's do this.” Holding out his hand to me, I rested my fingers against his and let him help out. “You're worrying, stop worrying. Everything is going to go fine.” Kissing the back of my palm, he tangled our fingers together and squeezed. “Nothing is going to happen.”

Fuck, he can read me like a damn book.

Thinning my lips, I smiled and shook my head. “Yeah, I know, I'm trying.”

Nick was standing at the back of the car, his gaze set out on the ocean. “You know the last time I watched the sunset was with your mother right after we found out she was sick.” His voice was soft and pained, full of all the loss still crippling him inside. “I haven't wanted to watch it since.”

Birch and I didn't respond, we walked up beside him and stared at the crashing waves and the giant orange globe in the sky. Nick's mouth was taut, his eyes glossed over as he battled with a memory I knew he would rather forget.

“It's not as pretty anymore,” he said, folding his hands in front of his waist. Taking in a heavy breath, Nick sighed. “Well, you two ready? Let's go get what's ours.”

He didn't look at either of us, he just started walking. His steps were strong, legs moving swiftly, determined to take him away from the sunset he despised.

Trailing a little behind him, I watched the sun as it set beneath the ocean, casting red and yellow shadows across the water. It was sad that something so beautiful could cause someone else so much pain.

A simple sunset was a reminder of death to him, it brought out feelings and emotions he couldn't bear to have, memories that I knew he wished weren't there.

To have to suffer that day after day, to know that with every sunset came loss, that broke my heart for him. In a way I was lucky that I didn't remember my family. I couldn't imagine having those images burned into my brain and having to relive them over and over again.

“Antoine should be here in a few minutes, I want you two set up over there,” Nick said, pointing to a small sand dune covered in tall grass. “Birch, you know the drill. Stay alert, have your gun out, and be ready for anything.”

Birch nodded and listened, waiting for him to run through each and every step. I tried to listen, but my head wasn't in it. I kept thinking of Valentina and wondering if she truly agreed with the life Nick had given them.

She never spoke ill of what her husband did, she never disapproved of her son's role and the dangers he might face. It was as if she put all her trust in her husband without a second thought.

I wished I could do the same, that I could stand there beside Birch and trust that everything would be fine.

“Cyprus?” Nick's voice cut through my thoughts, drawing me back to the present.

“Hm?” I asked, realizing that I hadn't heard a word he had said.

“Your gun, did you bring your gun?”

“Yeah, I brought it.”

“Good, take it out, and pay attention. If your head isn't on tight, shit can go wrong.” Stopping, Nick fixed his suit and adjusted his tie. “When Antoine gets here, don't say shit to him. I'll do all the talking, I don't want either of you chirping in like fucking canaries in the background. Understood?”

Agreeing, Birch and I walked only a few yards and took our position on the dune. Leaning over, Birch whispered in my ear. “He's a little more tense than usual today. I don't know if that's because of Antoine or mom. I hate not knowing, I never know what to say.”

Stroking his arm, I kept scanning around us. “I'm sure it's because of your mom. You saw how he looked at the sun right? He fucking hates it.”

“Stay focused.” Nick snapped his head in our direction, glaring at us like we were kids again. “Don't make me ask you a third time, there's no room for error here. Antoine isn't someone I trust, he's a sneaky little fucker. And sneaky little fuckers are as trustworthy as a starving fucking rat.”

“If you don't trust him, why did you agree to do business with him?” Birch kicked the sand, watching the parking lot, and the road in the distance.

Tossing Birch a crooked eye, his father snarled. “Why the fuck do you think? It all comes down to money, it always does. Money is the only thing that matters, even if it can make a man go mad.”

His eyes glistened with black stars, as his lips shifted into a hard frown. There was something about the way he said it that made my heart pause for a brief second. He was looking at Birch, but it felt like he was talking to me.

I couldn't explain why, I couldn't rationalize the fear that struck a nerve and made my knees tremble as I stood sinking into cold sand. All I could do was feel it as it crept up my calves and coiled around my gut like barbed wire.

Crushed shells crackled in the distance, and the sound of an engine bled into the ocean breeze, perking my ears. Reaching behind my back, I pulled my gun out and held it at my side. It was strange, I should have felt safe with my gun, but I didn't.

Having it felt like the threat was more real, like the chance I might have to use it was heightened by a thousand. Nicholi had started demanding that I carry it. It seemed to go from a form of protection to a constant piece of flare I was expected to wear.

Most of the time I would just throw it in my purse and pretend it wasn't there. I didn't like having the heavy steel with me every second of every day. I got it, I completely understood the reason for needing it. But that didn't mean I agreed with it.

When I took it out yesterday it was on impulse, a knee-jerk reaction that I didn't have time to think about. I wanted to embrace that, to see myself as a fearless woman, a warrior to the trade and soldier to the game.

It didn't matter how much I tried to convince myself, I would never be the soldier Nick expected me to be.

Who the fuck am I? Why is this so hard? Why does it feel so wrong?

Holding it today was eerily un-welcomed. This was happening, and there was nowhere for me to go. All my time in the office, during formal agreements and conditions, was a mere crack on the surface. Today I was standing in the belly of the beast, its heart pounding in my ears, feeding the anxiety running through my body.

Maybe I hadn't taken all of this as seriously as I should have.

Maybe my denial of the danger left me weak. . .

Knowing and seeing were two different things completely. Stories explained the truth I was living in, but being a part of the movie wasn't going down as easily.

Swallowing hard, I glanced at Birch with a nervous frown. His skin was illuminated under orange rays, bronzing his skin like a Greek god. His eyes twinkled under the fading sunlight, and for a split second, I forgot about what we were there to do.

He had done it again, pulling me into his presence and making the rest of the world drift away. The beach had gone silent, the danger no longer crashing on the rocks and making my insides shake. I was grounded, standing firmly on my own two feet.

Our eyes connected and he reached for my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. With a single nod, he placed his attention back on the men that were making their way to the meeting spot.

Voices echoed across the beach, filling the starchy air and prickling my skin. Squinting my eyes, I could see three figures bobbling and moving through the sand.

“Nicholi, my friend, long time no see.” An older man walked up, holding out his arms. “How the years have built a wall between us. How are you?”

The man was much older than Nick, possibly his mid sixties. His head was bald on top, with a think layer of gray hair wrapping the bottom of his skull. Small beady eyes matched Antoine's, and his large, bulbous nose was a replica of Collin's, who was standing on his right.

Is that their father? It has to be.

“Georgio, good to see.” The two men shook hands, both of them wearing fake smiles. “I didn't expect to have you joining us today. Antoine didn't mention this when we spoke.”

“Yes, well, I wasn't going to come, but my son made it sound worth my while.”

“Did he?” Nick asked, tilting his head and looking past Georgio to Antoine. “And how is that exactly? Because our deal is still the same, nothing has changed.”

Stroking his jaw, Georgio kept his eyes firmly on Nicholi. “Are you sure about that?” Glancing over his shoulder, he looked at Birch and myself with a sick smile. “Because I heard things very differently.”

Curling his arms behind his back, Nick teetered on his heels. “So he told you how disrespectful he was during our meeting? How he antagonized my daughter,” he said, giving me a quick look and pointing at me. “And how she had to knock him down off his high horse?”

The man ticked his head back and forth against his shoulders, crinkling his eyes with disbelief. “You could be right, and you could be wrong. There's two sides to every story, and they never match up. But the one thing we both know. . .” Taking in a slow breath, Georgio's mouth curved into a condescending grin. “You don't have a daughter.”

“We're not here to discuss my family, Georgio.”

I could hear Nick's teeth as they ground down with each word. He wasn't as calm as he normally was. I wasn't sure if Georgio and his sons could pick up on his subtle cues, but to me, he was practically screaming in the man's face.

“Originally no, that's not what this meeting was for. But it is now.” His smirk spread high up on his face, eyes shining under a shadow of death. “I thought we could toss some numbers around, see if we could come to an agreement. I know how much you love numbers, Nick, and I'm willing to spend.”

What the fuck is this guy doing?

Is he trying to buy me?

Sucking in a huge gulp of air, my lips parted, ready to scream at the guy to go fuck himself. But Birch grabbed my wrist and stopped me, shaking his head no.

Staring into his eyes, I pleaded with him to stop this whole thing, to make that man eat his own tongue and get me the hell out of there.

Softening his gaze, he spoke to me with just his eyes. He was telling me to relax, that his father would never sell me to some sick fuck. He didn't want me to worry, and no one was going to touch me.

I could see what he was thinking, I could feel what he was saying in his touch and the look on the face. I wasn't going anywhere.

Swallowing hard, I jerked my head back to the men, pure hate filling my muscles and turning them into trembling sinew ready to strike. My finger fluttered over the trigger, eager and willing to put a bullet in all of their heads if anyone even tried to come and take me away.

“Georgio, our deal is done. If your son wants a piece of ass to have his way with, he can't buy it here. She's not for sale, I don't sell family. And even if I did, I wouldn't sell her to the likes of you.”

Antoine jumped up to his father's side, his fists balled by his hips. “I want her! I deserve to have her for what she did to me! How dare you—”

Slicing a hand through the air, Nick stepped up, chest to chest with Antoine. “How dare I?” Baring his teeth, his words came out sharp. “You come into my home and insult us the way you did and she shrinks your dick for being an asshole, so you think you can buy her from me?”

“That's not what happened! You screwed with me, you teased me with that bitch and I want what I deserve for it.”

“Georgio, you better get control of him or he won't be standing on two legs.”

Placing a hand over Antoine's chest, Georgio guided him back. “I was under a different impression, Nicholi, of what happened.” Veering his stare at his son, he snarled. “He painted a very different picture. I was under the assumption she had a number, obviously you need more convincing.” Stuffing his hand into his pocket, Georgio pulled out a thick white envelope and held it out. “Your money is here, and I've included an extra forty grand for her.”

Snatching the money, Nick opened the envelope and began to thumb through the bills. My heart began to sink as I watched him. It looked like he was actually debating if that was enough to buy me.

“What?! No! Fuck you! I'm not going anywhere with you!” Taking a step forward, Nick held up his hand and shot me a look.

Stopping, my jaw hung open, unable to comprehend what the hell was happening. Is he selling me? Is he really fucking do this?

“So you mean to tell me that the only reason you're here is to buy my daughter? That's what you came for?”

Georgio smiled, nodding in agreement. “I came because my son said you had something that we could use. And I think he's right, she'd look gorgeous with the others.”

Flashing confused eyes at Birch, I could see his lip twitch and the muscles in his arms tense up. He was staring straight ahead, not even registering the panic on my face.

“What don't you understand when I say I don't sell family?” Nick angled his head, a curious expression sitting on his face.

“She's not family, Nicholi, she never was. We both know things would be easier for you if someone took her off your hands. You won't miss her, we'd get so much more from having her than you ever will.” Drawing a wrinkled thumb over his bottom lip, Georgio looked up at Nick with devious eyes. “Let me put it to you this way; we do this here and now, or maybe you'll be getting a call tomorrow from someone I think you'd rather not have sniffing around your shit.”

What the hell does that mean? Who the fuck is this guy?

Sucking in a hard breath, Nick exhaled as he tisked the man. “You should have answered differently, this was a mistake, Georgio. And Mistakes need to be fixed.”

A small smile teased my lips as I watched Nick deny the men their play toy. I had questioned who this family was and what kind of people they were. I had doubts about my place here and if I could truly be one of them.

But in that moment I knew. . . This was where I belonged.

I was as much a part of them as they were a part of me.

Turning to look at Birch, I heard a loud pop. Covering my ears, I ducked my head and threw myself into the sand. I didn't have to see it to know what it was. Someone had just fired a shot.

With my face in the sand, a second shot rang out, echoing across the water and forcing a herd of seagulls to lurch into the air, cawing and scrambling away.

Peeking out over the crook of my arm, Birch was standing beside Nick with Antoine on his knees in the cold wet sand. The tide had started to come in, splashing over Antoine's thighs as he glared up at the sky.

His face was empty, cold and emotionless. He wasn't crying, he wasn't begging or pleading for his life. Two sets of feet laid on either side of him, their heels sinking into the dirt.

Lifting his gun, Birch placed the barrel against Antoine's forehead, directly in the center. “You never did know when to stop your dick from talking.” Clicking the hammer back, he cocked his head into his shoulder as the corner of his lip twitched. “Fuck, who am I kidding. You've never been anything but a dick. You wanted to buy my girl. . . you're father had the balls to threaten my family—that was a line no one should have crossed.”

I heard the gun go off, and it all seemed to happen in slow motion. Blood exploded out the back of Antoine's head, painting the beach in red. His eyes stayed open, glossing over as he swayed for the longest second of my life. Toppling back, his body folded unnaturally, arms tucked under his waist, feet bent and twisted in the ground.

I was in shock. Unable to look away and unable to close my eyes, I laid there and watched Nick and Birch as they rolled the men into the water and let the waves steal them away.

A high pitched ringing cut through my skull so I cupped my palms over my ears, trying to make it stop. My heart was racing inside my chest, unsure if what I had just seen was real.

“Cyprus, are you okay?” Birch jogged through the sand, crouching down and petting the top of my head. “It's alright, Love, he won't be able to threaten you again.”

“You killed him—” Blinking wildly, I clutched my hair with my hands and rolled onto my back. “You didn't have to kill him.”

“Yes we did.”

“No!” yelling, I threw my hands into the ground and pushed myself up. “You didn't have to kill all of them! They hadn't actually done anything!”

“Yes, Cyprus, he would have. It wouldn't have stopped here. They not only threatened you, but they threatened our very existence. We can't have that, we won't tolerate that shit.”

“They're people, Birch! You can't just go killing people because they make a threat!” Yanking my gun out of my waist, I dropped it to the ground. “I don't want this, I don't ever want this again.” Taking a long step back, I held my hands up.

Birch lunged forward, trapping me in his arms and forcing me against his chest. “Cyprus, those men traffic women. They take women and they sell them, they would have done that to you. They would have come back for you, we had to stop them.”

“What?” arching my neck, my brows tangled in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“He's right, Sweetheart. They weren't going to give up just like that, he would have tried to get you another way. I've known that family for a long time, and usually I just turn my head to what they do. But Georgio fucked up this time. He did the one thing he shouldn't have, he fucked with my family.”

Shaking my head, I broke free from Birch's arms. “You don't know that.”

Nick stood at my side and slid his hand down over my head, smoothing my hair against my back. “Honey, this wasn't unjustified. You mean the world to me, you mean the world to my son. I won't risk an asshole like that laying in wait to take you away.”

My eyes zeroed in on the stained beach, watching the waves clean away what was left of Antoine and his family. “You're sure of that? You really think they would have done that?”

“Cyprus, have I ever lied to you before? Have I ever given you reason to think I was some cold-hearted killer?” Nodding no, Nick smiled in that same comforting way he had done years ago when he found me. “That's because I'm not. I do what's necessary, and those men should have died a long long time ago. They got a free pass, until they threatened you. I don't have tolerance for that shit.”

Pinching my elbow, Birch drew my attention back on him. “He's telling you the truth, those men were awful. The world's a better place without them anyway. We probably just saved hundreds of lives by erasing them.”

Holding out his arm, he motioned for me to come closer. Birch wrapped his big strong arms around my ribs, pressing firm hands into the center of my back. “I love you, and I'm here to protect you. You're all I care about. I'll do anything to keep you safe.” Kissing the top of my head, he laid his cheek against my gritty hair. “I'd die if something ever happened to you.”

A deep seeded need to be loved and accepted, cared for and protected, made being in his arms a comfort. I loved and trusted Birch. I loved and trusted Nick like a father.

These men had been my saviors, and they had always stood by their word.

I had to believe that they were right. I had to give in to the horror and see it as a gift.

They had saved me again, they had solidified my existence on this earth for a second time.

How could I question that?

How could I doubt the nature of their intentions?

I knew these men and what they stood for. . .

At least I thought I did.