CHAPTER SEVEN
“Only if you’re right there with me,” Peyton told Nick.
She’d listened carefully to Nick’s words. She had to pay close attention because the Lambrusco had made quick work of her concentration. And nothing seemed to be making much sense. Jack wanted to make amends for how he’d behaved? Some kind of weird twelve-step thing that had nothing to do with drugs or alcohol? She might need more alcohol for that, come to think of it.
Nick scowled at the floor. They were backstage, almost exactly where Jack had ripped her heart out with his casual goodbye. She leaned against the wall, since her little black dress didn’t lend itself to sitting on the floor. Nick, hands shoved deep in his pockets, faced off with her. Everything smelled like wine, except for the faint freshness of the irises in her corsage, and the familiar scent of chalk dust and flop sweat that would always signify “auditorium.”
“You don’t want me there.”
“I do. I really do. I don’t want to see him alone.”
“Why not? He’s not going to kidnap you. He just wants to apologize or something. He mentioned catharsis. For you.”
“Well, that’s sweet, I suppose.” In her fuzzy-minded state, she wasn’t exactly sure how that was supposed to work. “But I want you to be there. Please. I—” She bit down on her lower lip.
Nick’s expression softened. He reached for her hand, which slid gratefully into his. His hand felt perfect around hers, warm and reassuring and strong. “You what?” he asked.
“I didn’t expect to see him, and I didn’t expect it to be so difficult.”
His eyebrows drew together again. “You don’t have to do this, you know. I told him I’d speak to you, not talk you into it.”
“I know. But maybe it’s a good idea. He’s just a person. What’s the big deal? Everyone gets dumped sometime, right? I’m a big girl. I’ve moved on. This is not a problem. Let’s do this. Where is he?”
Nick eyed her warily. “He’s waiting in the teachers’ lounge. Do you want to go there?”
“Yes. Let’s go there!” She took a step forward. Wobbling, she stepped back against the support of the wall. “Maybe tell him to come here,” she told Nick. “And don’t you dare go anywhere.”
With a wry shake of his head, Nick pulled out his phone. He fired off a text as Peyton reflected on the fact that he had Jack’s phone number. When had that happened? “Are you friends now?” she asked him. “You used to hate each other.”
“Hate’s a little strong,” he murmured. “So is friend. I’d say we’re somewhere in the middle.”
“That’s where I want to be with Jack. Somewhere in the middle. Like, meh, take it or leave it. Whatever.”
He finished his text and stuck his phone back in his pocket. He surveyed her steadily, soberly. “So, which end of the spectrum are you at? Just curious.”
She blinked at him, noticing he looked almost sad. Had she said something to upset him? She didn’t want to do that, she realized. He was her friend, her rock. The best thing about coming back to Everton. She liked looking at his face, all square lines and hollowed cheekbones. He smelled good, too, very clean and light, like freshly laundered linen. Wait…what was the question again?
“Hey, Peyton. Thanks for agreeing to talk to me.”
Jack’s voice sent all other thoughts fleeing to the far corners of her brain.
She turned his direction, folding her arms across her chest. The movement jostled her corsage, sending her a whiff of its delicate fragrance. “Hi, Jack. Sorry about the Lambrusco.”
“That’s okay. I would have preferred Jack Daniels, but I coped.”
Already with a joke. Well, that was Jack for you. He liked to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of life, that was what made him so fun.
“What did you want to say? Nick said you want to apologize.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair and shot an uneasy glance in Nick’s direction. “That’s part of it. Apologize and make amends. They’re not exactly the same, even though they’re linked.”
She frowned at him. “You sound like you’ve been researching this.”
“It’s for a part. A really great one. I always do a lot of research for my roles.”
The pride in his voice rubbed her the wrong way. “Really? What did you study for Beach Games? What beer works best for Beer Pong?”
Aha! A well-aimed barb, if she did say so herself.
He winced, pulling a wounded face. “Ouch.”
She grinned widely. This wasn’t bad at all, seeing Jack. The fact that she was able to get a dig in meant that she was handling this just fine.
“I hope that was cathartic,” he added. “That’s what I want most. I’m not doing this just for myself, you know.” He shot another glance in Nick’s direction as he said that. Nick rocked back on his heels, looking nothing but skeptical.
“You know, so far I’m the only one who has apologized,” Peyton told Jack. “For the wine. So whatever you intend to say, better get on with it. I’m going to have to find a bathroom very soon.”
“That sounds familiar,” Jack murmured. “I still remember where every public bathroom in Everton is.”
A stab of pain made Peyton’s breath catch. Her bladder was notoriously small—it was a family trait. She’d always been embarrassed about that, but Jack had treated her frequent need for a restroom as a lark. He’d relieved her of her shame.
“Okay, here we go,” Jack said. He straightened his shoulders, which made her notice that he was wearing an apron. She blinked, wondering how that had slipped her notice at first. She must be well and truly buzzed.
“I’m sorry that I broke things off in such a callous way. It was thoughtless and cruel. I chose to believe that you didn’t have deep feelings for me. I don’t know what your feelings actually were, but I should have found out. That was lazy and inconsiderate of me.”
Her jaw fell open, and she forgot about the apron. Wow, he was really going all the way with this apology. Digging up character flaws and everything. “Okay. Well, thank you. I would prefer not to talk about what my feelings were.”
“That’s fair. I’m sure that whatever they were, they’re gone now. And that’s my loss.”
She didn’t answer. Of course they were gone. That didn’t even need to be said. She stole a glance at Nick and caught him watching her. There was something odd in his expression, but she couldn’t read it. Lately it was so hard to know what Nick was thinking.
“Is that it?” Nick asked in a voice devoid of emotion. “Should we get back to the party?”
“I’m not quite done,” Jack said. “There’s more. But I wonder—do you need to be here, Nick?”
“Yes,” Peyton said quickly. “I want Nick here. I trust him. I asked him to stay. Whatever you want to say, it’s all right. He won’t mind. I mean, how bad could it be? You never even saw me completely naked.”
Oops, that was the Lambrusco talking.
“I mean, you saw me mostly naked.” For some reason, it seemed like a good idea to turn to Nick and explain. “Boobs only. And there wasn’t much too look at. I developed late.”
Nick looked as if he wanted to dunk himself in a vat of Lambrusco. “You don’t have to explain. In fact, please don’t.”
“See, that’s the thing,” Jack said quietly. “This is the hard part. The ‘make amends’ part. I need to tell you something, Peyton. It might make you hate me and I have to accept that.”
She nodded, then decided she’d better brace herself. Whatever he was about to say, it sounded like the kind of thing you were supposed to sit down for, except that her dress wouldn’t let her and…she stabilized herself by placing a hand on the nearest scenery flat. It pictured a quaint small town, possibly for a production of Our Town, or maybe The Lottery, for something more morbid. “Okay, Jack. Go ahead. Make amends.”
He drew in a deep breath. “Remember when I first asked you to the movies? How shocked you were?”
“Yes. I wasn’t exactly your type. You usually liked the fun girls, not the geeks like me.”
Jack shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up toward the faraway ceiling of the auditorium, where all the lifts and pulleys were located. “The day before I asked you out, Nick had gotten named as the starting pitcher on the baseball team. I was pissed. So, I asked you out.”
She stared at him blankly, then looked over at Nick. An expression of horror was dawning on her friend’s face. “I don’t understand.”
“I knew that Nick had a crush on you. I’d known it ever since middle school. Remember when he sat behind you in Civics class? I saw how he looked at you. He liked you all through middle school and high school. That’s why he worked so hard to get good grades, to catch your attention. But you had your head in your books and never even noticed.”
A strangled sound came from Nick’s direction, but Peyton was too stunned to look his way.
“I knew you two were perfect for each other and would figure it out eventually. But when he got the top spot on the roster, I couldn’t handle it. I decided to hurt him where he’d really feel it. I figured, he hadn’t made his move, so why shouldn’t I? You were cute, you were smart, you were the real thing. I’d been noticing you for a while, but I didn’t want to step on Nick’s feet.”
Jack’s expressive blue eyes were filled with remorse—but was it genuine? Or just an act? He was a movie star, after all.
“But then I got pissed off at Nick and I asked you to the movies.”
A chill trickled down Peyton’s spine. She couldn’t believe this was happening. One of the best moments in her life…was actually a lie? She tightened her grip on the scenery flat, as if a piece of a fake town could keep her grounded. It couldn’t. “You asked me out to hurt Nick?” she managed.
“Partly. Just partly,” he said quickly. “I also thought you were cute, like I said. And that’s not why it kept going, I didn’t really know you at first. But as soon as we went out, that changed. I really dug you, Peyton. I had a great time with you. When I look back at my high school years, you were just about the best part. You’re amazing, and I was lucky to date you. And I’m sorry I was so selfish in how I ended it. I was just so ready to get on with my life, to get out of Everton—”
“Shut up. Just shut up.” Peyton clapped her hands over her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. She could still remember that amazing moment when Jack had stopped her in the hallway on her way to debate practice.
A bunch of us are going to Blades of Glory this weekend. Will you come with me?
And how her entire life had shifted at that moment. She’d gone from thinking of herself as a boring nerd with a flat chest and no feminine appeal, to feeling like a goddess. Jack Cooper had asked her out.
But it was all a lie. She hadn’t caught his eye. He’d just wanted revenge or something. Because Nick…liked her?
Impossible. She would have known. He’d never said anything. Not even when he’d found her sobbing on this very spot—
The thunk of flesh hitting flesh snatched her back to attention. She opened her eyes to see Nick looming over Jack, fists clenched, poised to strike again.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he growled. “How is that supposed to make amends?”
Jack worked his jaw back and forth, one hand upraised in a defensive gesture. “I don’t want to fight.”
“You mean you don’t want to get your ass kicked before your wardrobe fitting.”
Peyton had never seen Nick like this before. He was usually pretty quiet and easygoing. But right now, he looked as if he could beat Jack to a pulp and not look back.
“No, I don’t care about that. Fuck, I’d probably get more street cred if I showed up with a black eye. I don’t want to fight you because I’m doing this for you too.”
Nick wound up to launch another blow. “Fuck that.”
“It’s true! I screwed things up for you. Look at you, Nick! How long have you been in love with Peyton? After I left, you could have swooped in and healed her broken heart, but that’s not what you did, is it? You became friends. And you’re still friends. And you’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”
Another punch came like a freight train, the weight of Nick’s entire body behind it.
As Peyton shrieked, “No, Nick!” Jack dodged the blow, causing Nick to stumble forward, out of balance. Nimbly, Jack spun around and grabbed Nick from behind. Nick broke the hold in one quick move, and the two faced each other again.
Peyton covered her face, too shocked by the whole thing to know what to do.
“I’m sorry I acted like an ass back then,” Jack panted, fists guarding his face in wary self-defense. “You think this is easy for me? I shouldn’t have done it. I was jealous, and I didn’t know how to handle it. Everything always came easy to me, except when you got in the way. I was an idiot.”
“I hated you, too, jackass. But using Peyton to get at me is way out of bounds.”
“You’re right! It was. I’m not arguing. I’m apologizing. If you want do this Fight Club style, we can. But maybe you should ask Peyton what she wants.”
Peyton’s eyes went wide above her hands. She didn’t want Nick to hurt Jack, and she definitely didn’t want Jack to hurt Nick.
Of course she wouldn’t mind giving Jack a punch of her own.
And then the decision was taken out of her hands as Nick let fly with a right uppercut to Jack’s face. He went down fast and hard, arms flailing, blood streaming from his nose. He crashed backwards into another painted flat—this one with a row of bushy hedges. It wobbled precariously, but Nick jumped to grab it and keep it from tumbling onto Jack’s prostrate body.