I heard the station wagon start up.

Laura sat up a bit and listened too.

We heard it leave and all that time Laura was looking from me, to the car noise, back to me, then back to the noise. Then another couple of cars left.

“He’s gone,” I said. She nodded, sat up more, pulled the T-shirt over her knees again and wrapped her arms around her legs, like she was making herself into a tiny package.

I stood there. “I’ll go get your mum or dad.”

“No,” she said fiercely, the sand and tears silver on her cheeks. The rest of her face white. Her eyes big in the moonlight.

“I could get Denis or Jess.”

“No, I don’t want anyone to know.”

I went over to her and sat on the rug beside her. “So, what are you going to do?” I sat like she was, arms wrapped around knees.

“I’m going to sit here until everyone is asleep, then stay in the shower until I feel clean.” She sounded like Laura, until a sob broke up the last word.

I couldn’t figure out what to do. “You can’t let him get away with it.”

“Yes, I can. I don’t want anyone to know. Don’t tell them.”

Now I know about wanting to keep quiet about what Logan’s done to you. “Okay,” I said in the end.

We sat there, not talking. Laura occasionally wiped her nose on her hand. After a while she leaned her head on my shoulder the way Jess does.

“Why is everything so easy for Jess?” she asked.

I shrugged. I could have answered that but didn’t think it was the right time.

We waited until the lights in the bach had been out for a while. Laura moved. Real wobbly. Could be the drink. Could be anything.

I stood up. “Come on.”

“You’ll need to help me up.” She said it shakily and put her hand out. I helped her up.

She stood there still wobbly. “Just give me a moment.” Then she nodded at the rug all strewn with clothes. “Could you collect up everything.”

She watched me roll the evidence into a ball. “When we get inside put it in the laundry,” she said.

“Okay.” Then I helped her get to the shower. I waited in the lounge to walk with her to the sleep out because that’s what she asked me to do.

Her dad must have heard something. He got up. “What’s happening?” He stood there at the bedroom door, sleepy eyes, pyjamas and bare feet.

How do you say, “Logan raped Laura?” How do you tell someone that? Especially Jess’s dad. Especially when Laura was so fierce about no one knowing anything? Especially when I could understand where she’s coming from.

I just said, “I couldn’t sleep, and Laura came in to have a shower.”

Her dad looked like he wanted to ask a few more questions. But he just shook his head instead, turned around on his bare feet and went back into the bedroom.

Next morning, I woke early, and my head filled with little hammers. I got up, sat on the steps and played the guitar. Even this early the light in the sky felt fierce. I couldn’t figure what to do. I thought Laura should tell someone. Or I should.

I could just see the front lawn and stuff from my party was still everywhere. Bottles, plates, paper, strewn all over the grass. The brazier was still tipped over, dead coals glistened sad and black in the dew now.

I played real quietly but probably still pissed everyone off. They were all in bed or in the tents on the lawn. The tents all had a bit of a sag on. Cole’s ute with its canopy sat on the driveway, a couple of gaps beside it, and two skid marks where Logan’s car was parked.

I kept thinking, I should tell someone. Someone should help her.

But she so fiercely didn’t want that.

Or maybe she did, and just couldn’t say.

The chords rippled and echoed, back and forth arguing.

Tell someone. Don’t tell. Tell.

But I didn’t think I should tell if Laura didn’t want it.

Then Jess came out of her shed. She wandered across and sat beside me on the step.

“How’s Laura?” I asked after she’d leaned across the guitar to kiss me. Even she tasted stale.

“Still pretending to be asleep. Did she have a fight with Logan?”

I should have told her then. She could have told her parents.

But Laura hadn’t told her, and it felt like a betrayal to tell Jess if that wasn’t what Laura wanted.

There was a big pause. The sea shushed in the background.

“Don’t know,” I said in the end. Jess sat there for a while, head on my shoulder listening to the guitar. The chords still echoed what I was thinking, tell, don’t tell. Then she pushed on my arm and stood.

“I’m going to have a shower.” She nodded over at her sleep out. “It’s sticky in there.”

“Okay.” I kept the chords rippling. Tell, don’t tell, said the little voices in the music.

Jess wandered off in her pyjamas and jandals. I watched her go, still trying to figure out what to do. Then I put the guitar down. I needed to talk to Laura. I’d find out if this was what she really wanted.

I went across to the next shed. I could see Jess’s footsteps in the dew on the deck. I turned the door handle and opened the door a crack.

“You, all right?” I asked the bundle of blankets on the bed.

“Go away,” said Laura.

“I just want to know.”

She turned over, eyes looking like she’s been crying all night. “What do you think?” The blankets slipped off her shoulders and huge bruises were all down her arms.

“Fuck.” Her father should have asked more questions last night. He’s the adult. We’re just the kids, and he found the boyfriend of one of his daughters sitting in a dark lounge waiting for the other daughter to come out of the shower. Not a lot of innocent explanations for that.

I broke all the house rules and went right inside the shed and shut the door. I figured I wouldn’t get caught, Denis was still asleep, his parents must be asleep too, I hadn’t heard any noises from the house. There was no sign of Luke and the others. Their tents were still zipped up. And Jess was in the shower.

Laura looked at her arms and bit her lip. “Shit,” she said.

“You need help; I’m getting your dad.” I opened the door again ready to go out.

“No, don’t tell.” She was still real fierce. “I don’t want anyone to know.”

I pointed at the bruises. “They’re going to see anyway.” Then her bloody dad came out the back door, and I’m half in and half out of Laura’s bedroom.

He considered me for a moment. “You lost, Isaac?”

Laura said from the bed, “Don’t say anything.” Fuck. “Please don’t say.” Laura looked at me from the bed, those eyes like Jess’s, pleading.

I knew I should tell. First rule in not letting the bullies win. Tell everyone and keep telling. It never worked in the past for me but that’s the rule. Her dad was hobbling across the grass. He forgot to put his jandals on.

“Your mum and dad will want to help you,” I said to Laura.

“No,” said Laura, and pulled the blankets up to her ears.

I gave in. “Just looking for Jess,” I said to her dad.

He stopped at the bottom of the step. “She’s inside, and if I was you, that’s where I’d be.” Then he added. “Right now,” in his best teacher, you’ve got just about ten seconds to do as you’re told and if you step out of line again, you’re in real shit, voice.

I didn’t say anything about his daughter hiding in bed covered in bruises. I went inside and waited for Jess to come out of the shower. Her dad came back inside after a while too. Her mum started making toast.

“Did you enjoy your party, Isaac?” asked Jess’s mum. The first lot of toast popped up and she brought it over to the table, holding it delicately like it was burning her fingers. She leaned it against the marmite.

“Yeah, it was good,” I lied.

“Whose idea was it to start jumping over the brazier?” asked Jess’s dad.

“Didn’t see,” I was lying again.

He gave me a look like I had started to get on his nerves. He knew I’d know. But what good does dobbing anyone in ever do?

He headed for the coffee machine and filled up the reservoir. “The front lawn looks like a bomb hit it,” he said.

Jess had finally got out of the shower and joined us. Her hair wet and dangling in clumps around her shoulders. She plunked down on the chair beside me. She probably didn’t feel as shady as I did, she didn’t drink anything all night. “It was those mates of Denis’s, they tipped it over. They’re idiots,” she said.

“No argument from me there,” said her father.

We had breakfast and slowly Luke, Tessa and the others emerged and joined us. Then Laura turned up wearing a long sleeve shirt. She looked like shit and still looked like she’d been crying.

I guess everyone put it down to Logan leaving suddenly in the middle of the night. I guess they thought there’d been a fight like Jess did.

But. This family can spend hours discussing even the smallest thing and this happens, and they ignore it. My mum and dad might control every breath I take but at least there is some sort of safety net with them acting like the adults, and me being the kid.

Not here, not now.

I’m glad this holiday is nearly over.