~ CATHERINE ~
I felt uncomfortable lying to Mum about going to Nicky’s house, which I didn’t understand since I’d snuck out loads of times to do other things. Just… for some reason doing it for Christopher felt different. It also didn’t help that Mum was complimenting me on how good I’d been since the park ranger incident, saying she trusted me enough to walk to Nicky’s house. Which was what I was doing right now, Nicky’s place about fifteen minutes away from mine.
The breeze picked up, stirring winter leaves across the walkway, a drop of water landing on my nose. I looked up at the sky, unconcerned with the large rain clouds forming overhead. If anything, I liked it when it rained, always had. While people ran for cover, I always walked at my normal pace, wet clothes a small price to pay.
Rounding the corner onto Bayfield Drive, I cut through its primary school and onto Angelo Avenue, where Nicky lived in a small brick-and-tile house with her parents and brother. Just as I knocked on her front door, a heavy layer of rain descended over the area, the overhang above Nicky’s door stopping me from getting wet.
Footsteps approached the other side. The door pulled open, revealing Nicky, her hair for once looking like it belonged to a normal person, no hair gel or hair spray in sight. Her red curls were hanging loosely around her shoulders, framing her grinning face, which was as fresh as a new born baby’s.
“Looks like you beat the rain,” she said, glancing down at my dry jeans and shirt. “I’ll just grab my keys, then we can head out to the reserve.”
I followed her inside, the entrance leading onto a small lounge. It had lemon-coloured walls, an aqua-green couch, an aquarium filled with colourful fish, and a dark brick fireplace.
“Where are your fam?” I asked.
Nicky grabbed her bag and keys off the coffee table. “Gone to my brother’s soccer match.” She ushered me out of the house and locked up, then ran for her Mini, squealing at the rain.
I walked around the other side of the yellow Mini and climbed in. It reminded me of the car from Goodbye Pork Pie, though I didn’t think it would make it out of Auckland, let alone all the way to Invercargill, the car a right bomb.
Nicky gave me a scolding look. “You could have at least run so you didn’t get my seat wet.”
“It’s only damp, so chill.”
She scowled at me, but instead of complaining more, she started up the engine. The car spluttered to life, sounding like a chain-smoking asthmatic with emphysema. She’d bought it with all of her savings from her part-time job. She reversed out of the driveway and swung the little car around, exiting Angelo Avenue.
“How’s it going with Stephen?” I asked, the two—shock horror—still dating.
“Not great.” Nicky grimaced. “I keep catching him flirting with other girls. He apologises every time, but then he’s back at it. It makes me feel like he’s just with me until he finds someone better.”
“More like, you should be looking for someone better. I don’t understand what you see in that douchebag.”
Her pixie face crinkled up with annoyance. “He’s not a douchebag, so stop calling him names, Catherine. You know how I feel about him, plus you don’t have a right to criticise him after all the trouble Chris has gotten you into,” she said, her bright pink fingernails digging into the steering wheel.
“At least Chris is faithful,” I replied without thought, instantly regretting what I’d said.
Nicky yanked the steering wheel sharply to the left, pulling over to the kerb. She practically ripped the handbrake out before turning to glare at me.
“Stephen is faithful! Just because he flirts doesn’t mean he’s cheating. It’s just flirting.”
“Are you sure, Nicky?” I said, knowing full well what Stephen was like. “Because he still comes on to me.”
Her green eyes flashed angrily. “When does he flirt with you?”
“When I’m forced to sit next to him since Mr. Stanton won’t let me near Chris.”
“Stephen doesn’t mean anything by it, he knows you’re not interested in him. He’s probably doing it to annoy you,” Nicky rattled on, working hard to justify Stephen’s behaviour—and failing.
“You do know you’re lying to yourself, Nicky?”
Her face hardened. “I guess you’d know all about lies since you constantly lie to everyone, so don’t talk to me about honesty.”
My eyebrows shot up. “I’m not a liar.”
“Then, why didn’t you tell me about your powers earlier? I only found out by accident, and when I try to talk about ’em, you just brush me off, saying they’re not important. Of course they’re important! You create water explosions, while Chris can produce fire. That to me is freaking amazing, and I feel insulted that you don’t trust me enough to talk about it.”
“I haven’t had the powers for long,” I replied, feeling a touch guilty. “And it was hard dealing with them. I didn’t know how to handle things, especially since I was worried you’d think I was a freak of nature.”
Nicky’s face softened. “I would never think that. You could pick your nose twenty-four-seven while doing headstands and I’d still be the bigger freak.”
I laughed, her reply relieving some of the tension. “You’re not a freak.”
Nicky pointed to her face. “Have you seen this. I look like a cross between Ariel and Tinker Bell, not to mention I’m not much bigger than the latter.”
I smiled. “Tinker Bell is cute.”
“I don’t want to be cute, I want to be sexy, so I can keep Stephen.”
My smile dropped. “You don’t need to be sexy, you’re really pretty, and if that’s not good enough for Stephen, then ditch the putz.” I held up a hand to stop her from defending him further. “You know I don’t like Stephen, so if you want to talk about him, be prepared for me to call him names. I’m not changing just because you’re dating him, and I don’t expect you to change and censor anything because I’m dating the better cousin.” I smirked, knowing my last words were going to get a response.
“Stephen’s the better cousin.”
“Well, it’s good we disagree, otherwise we’d be fighting over the same guy.”
Nicky sighed. “Guess so.” She restarted the car and pulled away from the kerb, once more heading for Boyd’s Reserve. “And Stephen has a lot of good points too. He makes me feel really great when we’re alone.”
“You mean, he makes you feel smarter, since he’s so dumb.”
Nicky whacked my arm, causing me to laugh. “He’s not dumb, just not fast.”
“Like a Lada, slow and cheap, while Chris is a Ferrari. Smooth, sexy, and well worth the price.”
Nicky poked her tongue out at me. “That’s your opinion, because Stephen’s sexy as hell.” A dreamy look crossed her face. “He’s such a great kisser—”
“If you don’t mind Herpes,” I laughed, getting another whack on the arm.
“You shut up.”
“But, you’re so fun to tease.”
She shook her head at me, then started talking about her music teacher, obviously diverting the topic away from Stephen. I listened to her complaints about the man, who according to her was too old school to be teaching teenagers.
“You’re so lucky to have a young teacher for art,” she said. “Why do I always get the old fogies?”
“I’d gladly swap him for Mr. Stanton.”
“Oh God, no! Mr. Knowles is an angel in comparison to Stanton. No one is worse than Boss Hogg. Anyway, we’re here.” She turned down the road that led to Boyd’s Reserve, steering into a parking spot.
“Thanks for the lift,” I said, opening my door.
“Enjoy your Sex ED lesson,” she replied, winking at me.
I snorted out a laugh. “I most certainly will.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re going to have sex with Chris?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant kissing and touching.”
“You know, if I was as sexy as you, I would’ve jumped Chris’ bones by now. Why are you holding back?”
“You know why.”
“You’re going to have sex eventually, you might as well have it with someone you love.”
“I don’t love Chris.”
“Yeah, pull the other one.”
“I don’t! I just really like him.”
She pressed her lips together, obviously not believing me.
“Don’t give me that look,” I said. “I haven’t known him long enough to jump onto the love bandwagon. People say the L word way too fast.”
“God, you’re a cynic.”
“No, love is lifelong, not an intense like that could possibly fade into oblivion.”
“So, what do you feel for Chris?”
“I really like him, and yeah, I’m completely in lust with him, but can you blame me?”
“Hell no, he’s drop dead gorgeous, and if you’re so in lust with him, go for it, have a bit of fun.”
“But we’ve only just started dating. Everyone already thinks I’m a slut, I don’t want to prove them right.”
“You’re not a slut! Sheesh, girl, you’re still a freaking virgin! And you know it’s Kylie who spread those rumours, not the guys you’ve been with.”
“Yeah, it’s just...” I sighed. “I may not love Chris, but I really, really like him, and if we do it and he drops me, I don’t know what I’d do.” I paused for a moment, a touch embarrassed about what I was about to say. “I’m also scared. You said it hurt the first time.”
“The first few times, yeah, but it’s great now. Definitely worth it. And come on... You can’t say you don’t want to get Chris nay-ked.”
I laughed. “You are such a perv.”
She grinned. “You know me so well. You should’ve seen Stephen on our first date when I asked to go to Melody Point. He told me that Melody Point was for making out, like I was some innocent girl who had no clue. You should’ve seen his expression when I asked where’s the best place to have sex. It looked like he was going to come in his pants.”
I snorted out a laugh, imagining the dumbass doing just that. Everyone assumed that Nicky was a sweet, innocent young girl because of how she looked, while everyone thought I was a slut because of how I looked. I liked boys, I just hadn’t liked one enough to do more than kiss and touch ... until now, Chris the first guy I wanted to do more with.
Nicky’s expression turned serious. “But if you don’t want to do it with Chris, don’t. Don’t feel pressured. Only do it when you’re ready.”
I bit my lip. “The thing is, I lose control around him. I basically jump all over him. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never had the urge to do that to any other guy. He’s like my freaking kryptonite.”
She flicked her hand. “Then, what are you still doing here, Supergirl? Your Ethan is waiting for you.”
“You mean Chris.”
“No, Ethan from Supergirl. Mmmm, Hart Bochner, yummy.”
I sniggered. “Hart is hot, but Chris is waaay hotter.”
She rolled her eyes at my lame joke. “Okay, he’s not Supergirl’s Ethan, he’s your Italian Prince Charming.”
“So true.” I smirked. “Looks like I kissed a prince while you kissed a frog.” I quickly jumped out of the car, laughing as she yelled at me. I teasingly waved at her with my fingers, then took off as she blasted her horn at me. I glanced back, seeing a smile on her face, Nicky knowing I was teasing... Well, I still meant it, just said it in good humour.
I headed across the grassy field, aiming for the boatshed on the other side of the reserve. On my left, a group of children squealed as they ran towards the duck pond, armed with bags of old bread and sheer joy. I stopped to watch a cute little blond boy around the age of three, holding out a piece of bread for a duck to take. When the bird got close to the child, the boy lost all of his courage and threw the bread at it, running as fast as his chubby legs could take him back to his laughing parents.
I continued on, watching the little sparrows and fantails playfully flittering between the tall columns of trees. Instead of following the curve of the pathway, where the trees parted, I climbed between the round boulders framing the shoreline, so similar to the one that I’d cracked at Whitford. I walked along the beach, the low tide uncovering a plethora of sand, rocks, seaweed, and seashells. As I rounded the bend, I spotted the old boatshed, the once bright red paint now faded and patchy. Christopher was sitting on its ramp, dressed in ripped jeans and a grey hoodie. Pushing to his feet, he brushed back his windswept hair, the silky black strands flying everywhere. As I drew closer, I could see his brown roots, alerting me to the fact I had no regrowth. The thought momentarily stopped me in my tracks. I’d never really thought about it, too caught up with being drawn into the world of Merges to be distracted by something so trivial. But like my eyes, it wasn’t as trivial as I’d thought. My hair was still pure white, no peroxide keeping it that way, which was freaky to say the least, since my natural hair colour was dark brown. Was it the rosary causing it? Most freaking likely, the damn thing changing me inside and out.
Christopher gestured for me to come over. I did, my thoughts returning to him, nervousness once more taking front and centre stage. Without a word, he extended a hand for me to take, saying ‘Hi’ in that one small gesture. I took hold of his hand, feeling a warmth wash over me, Christopher always lighting me up. I allowed myself to be pulled up the ramp to the boatshed’s door, which had a giant padlock on it.
“Looks like we have to find another place,” I said, disappointed. Although he made me nervous, I really wanted some alone time with him, where I didn’t have to worry about someone walking in on us. Well, not as much as at school, the fear that a teacher would catch us kissing always at the back of my mind.
“No, this place is good,” Christopher answered.
Letting go of my hand, he gripped onto the lock and closed his eyes. A second later, the metal melted, slipping free from the door.
I shook my head, not happy with what he’d done. “So, now I can add breaking and entering to wagging. What’s next, robbery? Because if you’re going to steal—”
“The only thing I want to steal is your heart.” With a cheeky grin, he pushed the door open. “And you can add molesting me to your sins.”
“Ha! Look who’s talking.”
He glanced behind me. “Just get in quick before someone catches us.”
I stepped inside the boatshed, which was much larger than its name, the building having two levels. I tensed as Christopher shut the door behind us, securing it from the inside with a wooden lever. He then grabbed my hand, yanking me over to where a large pile of sails was laid out on the floor. He sat down, pulling me with him. I landed on top of him, laughing as he made an oomph sound. I rolled to his side and sat up as he shook his head at me.
“You look light, but—”
My eyes widened. “Don’t say it!”
Laughing, he leaned over and gave me a hug, the gesture melting me. I snuggled my face into his neck and kissed it. He let go of me, his warmth already missed. He dug into his pocket and removed the Halo rosary, slipping it on, lighting up like he’d done at school. He then pulled off his red rosary and placed it over my head, leaning in for a kiss as he settled it on my chest. I kissed him back, liking that he was sharing his rosary with me again—and so readily, the trust he was giving me making me feel good.
His hand ran down my neck, a slow, sensual caress that left tingles in its wake, then before I knew what was happening, he broke our kiss and lifted my rosary over my head, taking me by surprise. He put it over his head, extinguishing the Halo rosary’s light.
I blinked at him, feeling a little aggrieved by what he’d done. “You seem to like my rosary now,” I said, trying not to sound annoyed he’d taken it without asking.
Smiling, he ran a hand over it. “I look good in blue.”
“You look good in anything.”
“Do you want to swap rosaries for a bit longer? You can try mine out overnight, while I can try yours out.”
“I already said no the other day, and you can’t use the Maris rosary.”
“It’s not hurting me.”
“But, you still can’t use the beads’ powers.”
“You never know, they could work. I’ve managed to get the Halo rosary to work without even trying.”
“They work for anyone.”
“Not astral projection. That’s how I got onto that beach where you were practising.”
“Yeah, I did read about that, but it said nothing about Seraphim being able to use Maris beads. Nothing at all.”
“It won’t hurt to try.”
I frowned, an uneasy feeling coming over me, the way he was acting felt off. I removed his rosary from around my neck and held it out for him to take back. “I don’t think I’ll bother with your rosary, I like water better.”
He didn’t make a move to take it. “No, you should at least try. Stellas should have an affinity for all the elements.”
“I’m not sure that’s true, and I would much rather make water spheres than fireballs, even more so since water can’t burn crap down if I stuff up.”
“Then, we can swap the Halo and Maris beads for a day.”
My uneasiness grew, the way he was acting definitely not right. “You can’t wear the Maris rosary without the Halo one, and anyway, why do you want to wear it so much?”
He shrugged a bit too nonchalantly. “To see if I can do some water tricks.”
“I don’t think so. What are you hiding, Chris?”
He scowled. “Nothing, I just want a change for one day. Is that so wrong to ask?”
“It is with the way you’re acting.”
“How am I acting?”
“Strange, like you’re up to something, and I don’t like it, so give me my rosary back.”
He pushed to his feet. “No.”
I rose up with him. “What’s gotten into you?”
He grimaced. “I need them, okay. I’ll give them back to you tomorrow, so stop getting on my case.”
“What do you need them for?” I asked, now worried.
He didn’t reply, his chocolate-brown eyes looking conflicted
Chills ran up my arms. “This is to do with your grandfather, isn’t it?”
He answered with silence.
I glared at him. “I trusted you, yet all you’re doing is using me to get my Maris rosary.” I reached for it.
He knocked my hand away, his expression now angry. “I’m not using you! I’m trying to save your life! If I don’t give him your rosary, he’ll kill you, and don’t think he won’t resort to hurting your family either. He doesn’t even care about using me. Do you know what he said to me? That he would take over my body just to get the rosary—against my will!”
I went stock-still, shocked by what he’d said. I’d been stupid! So unbelievably stupid to not have realised I’d been putting my family’s lives at risk. Christopher’s grandfather was definitely ruthless enough to involve them. Still, how could he forcibly possess Christopher? That I didn’t get. The manuscripts had clearly stated that only demons were able to possess innocents. Did that mean Reprebus was a demon? And if he was, what did that make Christopher?
Christopher’s expression turned pained. “See why I have to get your rosary? He’s not giving me a choice.”
Although shaken by his words, I shook my head, knowing if I handed the rosary over, I would be a dead-man walking. “If you take it, I’ll be rendered defenceless, like Sister Cecile.”
“You won’t if you have my rosary.”
“I don’t know how to use it, and I have a feeling I won’t ever be able to.” I held out my hand, willing a flame to light, but again, nothing came. “I don’t think I’m a Stella, because as soon as I touched the Maris rosary it reacted to me, but with the Seraphim one, nothing happens. Even the Halo rosary reacted better.”
“Halo rosaries react to everyone, sometimes even non-Merges. They just won’t perform certain things without a Halo wearing them.”
“Then, maybe I’m only a Stella Maris. Sister Cecile called my rosary that. I think it’s different from normal Maris rosaries. The other ones in the books don’t have the star. They have different kinds of shells. Maybe I can only use these beads,” I said, pointing to my rosary, which was still around his neck.
“You’ve hardly tried with mine.”
“Because I don’t feel connected to it. How many times do I have to say that?”
“I still think you should give it more of a chance.”
“Well, I don’t. Your rosary feels no different on me than the cheap pink ones girls get at their First Communion. So, give my rosary back.”
He shook his head and retreated a step, his eyes darting to the doorway.
Afraid he was going to make a run for it, I shot in front of the door, blocking his exit. “Chris,” I growled. “Give it back.”
“I can’t.”
“If you don’t give it back, that’s it, we’re done.”
“You can’t mean that.”
“I do.”
His expression turned angry. “I’m trying to save your life here!”
“You’re being naive if you think your grandfather will leave me alone once you give him my rosary. Like with Sister Cecile, he’ll come after me, and I’ll have nothing to defend myself with. So stop following what he says blindly, because if you leave with my rosary, he will kill me.”
“My grandfather didn’t kill the nun.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not!”
“Yes, you are!”
“I’m not! My father did it!” His eyes widened, his slip obviously unintentional.
My heart slammed against my chest. “Your dad killed her?”
“He only did it to defend my grandfather,” he blurted out. “So you can’t blame him. She was training people to kill my grandfather. That’s why my grandfather’s so paranoid about you. He had a premonition of you attacking him with your rosary. If you don’t have it, you can’t attack him. Neither of you will die.”
My heart stopped, his words making me think of Sister Cecile’s premonition. “I die?”
“Not if you don’t fight him. Please, work with me here. I don’t want anything happening to you. I care for you, Catherine. I really do.” He ran a hand over his face and let out a shaky breath. He looked so vulnerable, it made me want to wrap my arms around him and reassure him that everything would be all right. But it wouldn’t be, his grandfather always ruining things.
Then he said it, said something I didn’t want to hear. “I think I love you.”
I didn’t reply, not knowing how to respond to those simple, yet complicated words.
He grimaced. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“I... I care for you too.”
“But you don’t love me?”
“I don’t know what I feel, I hardly know you.”
His expression turned pained. “Don’t you feel it?” He indicated between us. “This pull?”
“It doesn’t mean it’s love, it could just be lust.”
He took a step back, looking like I’d slapped him in the face. “If I just wanted to bed you, I would’ve had you and been long gone. I fought with my famiglia for you, even got hurt for you. Do you think I’d do that for anyone?”
I bit my lip, not knowing how to handle the emotions coming off him or how to deal with my own emotions. I liked him. A lot. But love? It couldn’t be more than an intense like, because I hardly knew him.
Then, why couldn’t I stop thinking about him?
And why did I smile so much when I knew I was going to see him?
I shook my head, reasoning with myself as much as him. “It can’t be love, you just think it is. You need to get to know me more before you can say that and truly mean it.”
His eyes flashed red at me. “Don’t tell me how to think! And if you don’t give a merda about me, tell me now. Tell me before I destroy my famiglia for a heartless girl.”
“I’m not heartless, I’m practical.”
“Cold, more like,” he spat.
I scowled at him, hurt by his words, even though I knew he was lashing out because I’d hurt him. “I want to leave now.”
“Then leave! Because you obviously don’t give a merda about me enough to stay. Go on, what the hell are you waiting for?”
“My rosary.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “Haven’t you been listening to me? My grandfather will kill you if you keep it!”
“Stop yelling.”
“Not until you get it into your thick head that I’m trying to save your life!”
“He’ll still come after me either way!” I yelled back, now getting riled.
“You don’t know that, and if I don’t give him your rosary, he’ll one-hundred percent come after you. There won’t be any ifs or buts, he will. At least if I give him the rosary, you’ll have a chance.”
“I’ll have more of a chance with it.”
His face crumbled. “Why won’t you let me help you?”
My anger at him instantly melted. Stepping closer to him, I took hold of his face, but he flinched away. I did it again, forcing him to look at me. “The only way you can help me, is by giving me my rosary back, because when it comes time to fight him, I’ll need it more than anything in this world.”
He took hold of my wrists, removing my hands from his face. “You’re not fighting him.”
I pulled free. “Sister Cecile had a premonition, saying the same thing as your grandfather: that we’ll battle each other. Don’t you realise that’s why I’ve been training out on the water? To learn to protect myself from him. I knew it was coming, just wished it wasn’t so.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be.”
“Unfortunately, it does. Tell him that if he wants my rosary, he has to fight me for it, because I’m not giving it up to him, not leaving myself defenceless. We’ll have to set a place though, because if he so much as goes near my family, I will come after him.”
“No! This isn’t happening!”
“It is. Tell him to meet me here next Sunday, early in the morning. Say just before six, when there’ll be no one around.”
“No, you can’t do this, he’s more powerful than you. You’re just a novice. You don’t have a chance of winning against him,” he begged, looking panicked. “How about we just take off, go somewhere else, maybe Mount Maunganui, where there’s so much water he won’t follow.”
Touched by his need to protect me, I took hold of his hand and sat back down on the sails, trying to pull him down with me. He looked unsure, but followed nonetheless, settling next to me.
I brushed back his hair and gave him a sad smile, wishing things didn’t have to be this way. “I can’t just up and leave. Agnaru’s my home. Everyone I love is here.”
“But you’ll die if you stay.”
“You can say it until you’re blue in the face, but I’m not changing my mind.”
He spat out something in Italian and went to get up. I quickly climbed on top of him to stop him from leaving, straddling his lap. Then before I knew what was happening, I was on my back, looking up at him, stunned by how fast he’d moved, my heart pounding out of my chest. Suddenly his lips were on mine, ravaging my mouth, begging me to open up for him. And I wanted to so bad, the sparks between us so real, the pull so strong, but I couldn’t, his grandfather just too much of a barrier to get past.
He pulled back, his expression so hurt that I hadn’t returned his kiss. I wanted to fix it, to yank his head back down and kiss him until all of his hurt melted away, but again, I couldn’t. This was about more than just our relationship...
...it was about my life.
I placed my hands on my rosary, which was still around his neck. “Please,” I said, staring up at him. “I need it.”
He shook his head.
I moved my hands to his face, cupping it. “Please.”
He stared at me for the longest time, then pushed off me.
“Chris,” I said, scrambling to my feet, panicked he was going to leave with my rosary. “Don’t do this to me.”
He pulled my rosary off, the beads dangling from his fingers. “If my grandfather kills you, I’m done with my famiglia. If you kill him, I’m done with you.” He dropped the rosary on the floor and walked out.