Lisa’s apartment is a couple of blocks from mine. She’s finished college and is already working. Lisa decided against getting a master’s degree, so she was done way before I am.

I sit on her couch with my fingers wrapped around a cup of coffee.

Everything is different. I sit opposite her and today, for the first time, we're equals. I feel like a different person. I've taken the leap and I've become a woman. The metamorphosis had been no big deal before I’d had sex, but now everything is changed.

I've joined the group of young people in New York City who are sexually active.

Of course, the label isn't completely accurate just yet. I don't think an evening and morning count, but I feel like someone else.

"Are you doing okay?" Lisa asks.

"Great," I say, smiling. "More than great."

She narrows her eyes at me. She sits in the arm chair, her feet tucked underneath her. She's wearing leggings and a baggy t-shirt over it. Her legs show how much weight she’s lost since Graham. My stomach twists into a knot. Now that I've slept with Thomas, I feel the emotional connection with him that much more. Sex is incredibly personal. I can't imagine the pain that'll come with someone leaving you when you are so involved.

It's like Thomas telling me now that everything we have, has never been real.

"What’s up with you, though?" she asks.

I shrug. "Nothing."

She shakes her head. "No, you look different," she says. "What’s going on with you?"

I shrug again. I don't want to come right out and say it. A part of me wants to brag about the change in my life. I've lost my virginity. It's complicated with Lisa, though. I don't want to brag when she's obviously still not doing okay.

"How’s Thomas?" she asks.

I smile. I can't help it. A grin splits my face from ear to ear. "Yeah, he’s good," I say. "We’re seeing each other quite often, actually."

Lisa raises her eyebrows. "That’s good, right? I mean, you’re okay being involved with this guy?"

I nod. "Yeah, it’s no big deal."

I look down at my coffee. It's milky and sweet, the way Lisa always makes it, even when no one else drinks it the way she makes it.

"You slept with him, didn’t you?" she asks.

I snap my eyes up to her. I shake my head, but I'm smiling.

"You did! You sly dog, you slept with him!" She shifts in her seat, changing her position a little. "You have to tell me everything. Oh, my God, Nicole lost her V-card."

I shake my head, feeling silly now that she's making such a scene about it. At the same time, it makes me happy that she does. No matter how much I want to pretend it wasn’t important to me, it totally is.

"It’s no big deal, right?" I say. "You told me that."

Lisa gives me a look that suggests I should cut the bullshit. I laugh.

"Okay," I say. "It's a big deal to me. And it was fantastic."

Lisa smiles, looking satisfied with herself, like the idea that I had a good time in bed with a man was because of her, personally.

"I knew you would say that," she says. "I’m so glad you took that leap. What was it like?"

I shake my head, reeling a little. "I don’t know. A little sore. I guess that’s normal, right? He was nice about it, though. Gentle and all that. He makes me feel like I’m the only woman he’s ever been with."

"You’re not though, right?" Lisa asks.

I shake my head. "Doubt it, with a man as confident as he is. Besides, he knew what he was doing. I think he’s been with someone before."

Lisa nods. "Well, you did it. I’m so proud. You look different, too. I knew something was up. Are you going to keep doing it now that you’re over on the other side?"

I laugh, feeling embarrassed. "What kind of question is that?"

Lisa shrugs. "I’m just asking. The more you do it, the better it gets. The very first time is always the worst because it hurts, and you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Once you have a couple of guys under your belt, it’s so much better."

I chuckle. "I don’t know. One time, or maybe two, at a time, okay? I can’t even think about my future sexual exploits. It literally just happened."

"Yeah, okay." She drinks some more of her coffee. "What is he like? I know you can’t compare him to anyone, but is he big? Was he good in bed? Did he do a lot of foreplay, or did he go right in for the kill?"

I roll my eyes, laughing. "Is this what I’ve been missing out on? Detailed discussions about men’s anatomy and their style of lovemaking?"

Lisa shrugs. "It’s how it works. Women are more disgusting than men when it comes to dirty talk. You should know that."

I don't have a lot of friends to compare my life with. Lisa has been my contact to the outside world when it comes to men and sex.

"I’ll see," I say finally. "About doing it again, I mean. I’m sure Thomas would want to. He’s been wanting to do it from the start."

"You’re going to keep going back to him?"

I shrug. Of course, I'm going to keep going back to him. "I like him," I say.

Lisa shakes her head. "Just because he took your virginity doesn’t mean he has to have a hold on you. You’re more than within your rights to say thank you and goodbye."

I shake my head. "You’re really a piece of work, you know that?" It seems to me that Lisa thinks like a guy more than anything else. "I want to go back to Thomas. I like him."

Lisa blinks at me. "So, when you say you like him, you don’t mean the way he is in bed. You mean as a person."

I nod.

"I thought you were going to go out there and lose your virginity so you could have fun. Wasn’t that what you said last time?"

"It’s what you said last time," I say. "I said I would think about it. And I did. But you know how I felt about it, Lisa. It’s not like I can just change my programming. It was important to me that I’m in love when I did it."

"So, you’re in love, now?"

I nod. "I think I am, yeah."

Lisa shakes her head and leans forward to put her empty cup on the coffee table. "That’s not possible," she says. "You barely know the guy. It hasn’t even been a month."

I pull up my shoulders. "We’ve been seeing each other a lot."

"And you think that’s the equivalent to knowing each other enough to be in love?"

I'm not going to argue with her. My definitions of love, sex, and life are different than hers. I don't argue with her because she sees things differently than I do. I don't have to defend myself, either.

"Look," I say. "He’s a nice guy. We get along well. What is time, anyway? Don’t you believe in soul mates and true love and all that?"

"I believe in a guy taking what he wants and then leaving," she says. "That’s the way they usually play it. You better be careful. What if he ditches you?"

I shake my head. "He doesn’t seem like the type, to be honest. He’s been good to me about everything. He didn’t pressure me into anything. He let me take my time. I think he’s like, an honest to goodness gentleman."

Lisa snorts. "They don’t exist. Trust me. It’s a mask. Sooner or later, they all show their true colors, and trust me, it’s never pretty."

I'm getting angry. "I know you’ve had a bad run, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t hope for the rest of us. Just because your love life didn’t work out, that doesn’t mean mine is doomed."

I’ve hit a nerve, and I know it. But she isn't being fair. This isn't her life. It's mine. And Thomas is the guy I want to be with. If I’d been nervous about it before, I'm sure of it now. We’d slept together. He was the one I’d given myself to. That means something to me.

"How can you know that he’s the one for you?" Lisa asks. "You don’t know him. You can’t know him. Not this quickly anyway."

"I do know him. We know each other quite well. We’ve spent a lot of time together."

Lisa shakes her head. "You’ve got it all backwards. That feeling that you’re talking about, knowing it’s your true love or love at first sight, that’s sexual chemistry. That’s lust. That’s infatuation. It isn’t the same as love."

"But we didn’t sleep together until now."

"Three weeks after you met him? Honey, don’t kid yourself thinking you held out for something. Three weeks is nothing."

I'm furious. "Don’t tell me that it meant nothing. I know what it means to me. I know what I did, and I don’t regret it."

And I don't. I don't regret what I did because it felt right. My gut and my head and my body had all been on the same page, and that was all I’d needed. It had been the right time for me, and Thomas was the right man to do it with.

"You’re right," Lisa says. "I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt. Sometimes, you think you know a guy. I was with Graham for almost a year. I thought I knew everything there was to know about him. And where am I now? I don’t want that for you, and three weeks is so little in comparison."

I calm down now that she isn't attacking me. "I get that," I say. "I know you’re just trying to look out for me. But what am I supposed to do? Never give any guy a chance? If I assume every man is an asshole who’ll betray me, how will I ever have a decent relationship? How will I ever fall in love?"

Lisa looks up at me. I'm expecting her to tell me that I can't know what I'm doing. I've never dated before. I haven't had sex before. I don't have anything to compare this to. What do I have by way of experience? But she's wrong. I don't need experience. I have my heart, and it's happy. That's all that matters.

"I know what you’re saying," Lisa says. "And I know how that young-and-in-love naiveté feels. But I’m just saying, three weeks? You can’t know him that well."

"I do," I say.

"Really? What does he do?"

I shrug. "He just finished an MBA. He said he was going to work for his parents."

"Doing what?"

I open my mouth to answer and realize I don't know. I don't know anything about his life back in Elanda. I know nothing about the future he’s mapped out for himself. I don't even know where he lives. Is Lisa right?

A sinking feeling happens somewhere between my ribs and my gut. I push it away. I'm not going to let her sow doubt. I know what I'm doing. I'm happy. Just because she isn't doesn't mean I don't have a chance at happiness.

I can always ask Thomas, and he'll tell me. We just haven't talked about it yet. He’d never asked what I was going to do with my future. He knew, of course, because I told him. But he’d never asked. He just wasn’t as talkative. He wouldn’t volunteer information unless I asked.

All I have to do is ask.

It's simple. Everything is fine. Thomas is a great guy, and Lisa is just hurting, which is why she's so negative about the whole thing. My life is headed right where I need it to.