My stomach twists and turns in a fit of nerves. Tonight, Keagan and I are going public with our relationship. It’s a huge night for the two of us, the night where our lives change forever.

I know this is what I want. I’ve been thinking about it the whole week. But I also know that this won’t happen without difficulty. A lot of people won’t understand our choices or agree with them.

It doesn’t matter, though. I need this. We both do.

I make an appointment at Butter Nails and Waxing for eleven. I want to look and feel my best for tonight. When I dress invincible, I feel like I can handle anything, and I want to look good for Keagan, too. One way or another, he and I will remember this night for the rest of our lives. I might as well dress up for the occasion.

I like getting pampered. It’s a treat to go to a salon, and I like spending some time indulging myself with a little luxury. But today, it’s a little tainted. The underlying nerves about what we’re going to do is a constant reminder that my life is going to change soon.

I know it’s what I want, but there have been so many changes already. It’s hard to keep up.

My phone rings and I answer.

“Miss White?” a woman says on the other end of the line.

“Yes?”

“I’m Lisa, I’m calling on behalf of Julia Summers at Golden Image.”

“Right,” I say and smile. I was impatiently waiting for her call.

“Julia wanted me to ask if you’re able to start with us this Monday?”

“Of course!” I couldn’t believe they were fast-tracking me. This was great news.

I heard the secretary chuckle. “That’s great, Miss White. I’ll let Julia know, and we’ll finalize the contracts when you come in.”

We say our goodbyes and hang up. I look at my screen, and my stomach turns with a different kind of nervous excitement.

When I leave the salon, I feel fresh, beautiful, and accomplished, especially knowing that I have the job and I’m starting on Monday. My legs are smooth, my nails are stunning, and I know what I’m going to wear. I’ve chosen to wear a wrap dress the color of beach sand. It reaches just below my knee in a modern Gatsby style, but with a modern flare and diamante along the front. I got a pair of nude strappy heels with it.

I get ready, and I’m almost done when Keagan comes home. He calls a hello through the door and disappears to his own room to get ready, too.

I tie my hair back in a half-up, half-down style and put on earrings that match the diamante on my dress. Smokey eyes, a salmon lipstick, and I’m good to go. When I step out of the room, Keagan is just coming out of his. His eyes rake up and down my body, and they widen in surprise. He smiles.

“You look absolutely beautiful,” he says, coming toward me.

He cleans up very well, too. He’s wearing a dark suit that makes his eyes stand out, a crisp white shirt, and a champagne tie that goes very well with my dress. It’s like we planned it. His shoes are polished so perfectly I can almost see myself in them.

Keagan leans forward and kisses me. His lips touch mine tenderly, and his hands are on my elbows. He’s being careful, respectful. This is the complete opposite of the wild sex we’ve been having, when he kisses me like he’s trying to find another way to enter me.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. My stomach turns.

“Nervous,” I say.

Keagan nods. “I know. Me too. But this is going to be great, okay?”

I nod and fully trust him. So far, everything he told me would be okay, turned out okay. That’s all I need. Keagan is someone I can rely on, and it means a lot to me.

“The reservation is for eight, so we have a bit of time,” Keagan says, walking to the kitchen. “How about a glass of wine before we go, to take the edge off?”

“God, that would be great,” I say.

I follow him to the kitchen where he chooses a bottle of wine from the wine rack in the corner. He takes out two glasses and pours one for each of us.

“I got a call from work today,” I say. “They want me to start on Monday.”

Keagan looks up at me, his face surprised.

“So soon? That’s great news.”

I nod, smiling. I’m nervous about tonight and nervous about my new job, but it is good news, and things are finally starting to work out.

“Where did you say this job was again? I forgot the name.”

He hands me a glass of wine, and I sip the red liquid. It runs thick down my throat.

“They’re called Golden Image,” I say. “It’s a corporate interior design place.”

Keagan freezes, his eyes on me, the glass lifted halfway to his lips. He lowers it again.

“Are you serious?” he asks.

I nod, suddenly anxious. “Why?”

Keagan shakes his head. “This is bad,” he says.

I don’t understand. I shake my head, urging him to explain.

“I had a fling with an HR Rep a while ago, Bianca. Things did not end well between us. And she works for Golden Image, Dana.”

I blink at him. “So?” I’m not fully grasping the problem.

He frowns. “So, she might be holding a grudge against me. If we go public and Bianca finds out, she might use our relationship as an excuse not to hire you. She can throw her weight around. She’s HR, after all.”

“You’re sure about this?” I ask. “About her working there?”

Keagan nods. “I went with her to a year-end function. I’m sure.”

Blood drains from my face. I feel like I’m going to be sick. My blood is on fire, even though I only had one sip of wine.

“So, we can’t go public,” I say.

Keagan shakes his head. “Not just yet.”

I feel like I’m going to cry, and it makes me feel like an idiot. Keagan must see it on my face because he walks around the counter to me and puts his hand on my cheek.

“Hey,” he says. “Just because we can’t go public tonight doesn’t change what we feel, right? We’ll just have to play this right. It’s not a big deal.”

I nod and let him kiss me, a chaste kiss, no tongue. I want to believe him that it’s not a big deal, but I worked myself up to going public the whole week. I feel like the rug has been yanked out from under me.

Is it just back to real life, now? I guess so.

I’m lying in bed. There’s so much more going on in my life right now, but all I can think about is Keagan. He looked amazing tonight, and when he dresses like that, it always makes me picture his body beneath his clothes.

It’s a big mess, between my job and his reputation and what we feel for each other. As confusing as things are, the one thing I know for sure is that I want him. I know that I need him. From the moment he came onto me in my old apartment, I’ve needed him.

And it’s not getting any better. Wrong or right, these feelings I have for him aren’t going away. Not any time soon, anyway. And they’re impossible to suppress.

I consider going to him tonight, but I decide against it. We aren’t fighting, but we went to bed upset. I don’t want it to look like I think sex cures everything.

I’m horny. My skin is on fire, and all of my nerve endings are alive. I pull off my clothes and run my hands over my body. The light is on, and I look down my body. My nipples are tight when I run my hands over my breasts.

I pinch them, tweaking them the way Keagan does, and I gasp. Heat rushes through my body and pools between my legs. I’m getting wetter and wetter. I want Keagan inside of me, to fill me up. I want him to hammer into me until I cry out.

I dip my finger into my slit and slide it over my clit. My body jerks when I touch the most sensitive part of me.

I push my finger inside of me and drag it over my clit again, spreading my wetness. I can only think of sex with Keagan, the way he makes me feel, and the way he fucks me.

My breathing is fast and shallow. I swallow hard, and my lips are dry. I touch myself with rising intensity, but I’m still unsatisfied. My own fingers aren’t nearly enough to still the ache between my legs.

I get up from my bed and walk to the boxes in the corner. I unpack one, taking out objects until I find the black package I stowed neatly near the bottom. I retrieve the finger sleeve, a rubber toy that fits over my finger with nubs and a vibrating tip. I lay back on my bed.

I don’t need lubrication from my stash. I’m wet enough as it is.

I don’t switch on the vibrator just yet. I like teasing myself, working my way up to a frenzy instead of taking the plunge right away.

With the sleeve on my finger, I run it over my clit and shiver. The nubs are silicone, but I’m sensitive, and they feel more intense than they really are.

I dip my finger into my pussy again, sliding in and out a few times. I gasp, relishing in the feel. When it’s slick with my own juices, I slide it over my clit a few times again, riding up and down my slit with it, just feeling the nubs and the sensation they create.

After a while, I switch on the vibrator. The vibrator makes a soft humming sound. The sensations pulsate through my finger, and I press the tip against my clit. I jerk and moan softly. My breathing is fast and shallow, interrupted by panting moans. I play with the vibrator on my clit, sliding around in slow circles. When I feel I’m close to an orgasm, I pick up the pace, impatient for a release.

The door clicks open, and I freeze. Keagan steps into my room. His eyes are on my body, and I can see the hunger grow in his face. Should I stop?

I don’t want to. I want a release.

Keagan licks his lips, his eyes greedily sliding over my bod, taking in the sights. He likes what he sees. I move my finger again, and I run the vibrator of over my clit. I gasp through parted lips. My eyes are on Keagan’s, but his eyes are glued to my pussy and what I’m doing to myself.

Slowly, as if pulled by a magnet, he moves closer to me. I run my other hand over my breast, tugging at my nipple. Keagan gets onto the bed. He reaches for my pussy and stops my hand. Slowly, he lifts my hand away from my body and the vibrator buzzes angrily in the air.

Keagan slips the vibrator off my finger and onto his own. His eyes find mine for a moment, and his pupils are so dilated they practically consume the blue of his irises.

He moves his hand closer to my pussy, touching the vibrator to my clit. I jerk at the feeling and gasp. He leans into me so that his body is pressed against mine. His chest leans against one breast, and his cock strains against my hip bone through his boxers.

Keagan takes over, sliding the vibrator over my clit, down my slit, and into my entrance just enough to drive me crazy, before he pulls it back again. He follows this intoxicating pattern a few times, keeping me on the edge, but denying me the orgasm I crave.

“Please, Keagan,” I whisper, pressing my face against his neck when another shudder rocks my body.

He moves back a little, and his lips find mine. His tongue slips into my mouth, and he explores me, licking and tasting. He focuses his finger on my clit and draws circles around it, making me shudder. He’s not moving away or changing the pace. He’s not denying me anymore.

The orgasm builds hot and fast, and my legs are numb. My core clenches, and the orgasm rocks through me. I cry out, my voice muffled as I press my face against Keagan’s shoulder. My whole body spasms as the orgasm rips through me. I gasp and moan, shudder and convulse, as he relentlessly assaults my pussy with the finger sleeve.