HANNAH
I WAS GOING HOME. I’D been at his house for three nights, and was grateful I still had some clothes in Jamie’s old room as I’d been wearing them to TAFE. I used my spare uniform I kept in my locker at the nursing home staff room for work. I should be waiting until Adam got back from getting me ice-cream and chocolate, but if I saw him, I wouldn’t want to leave. I loved being with Adam and I didn’t want to leave him. I always enjoyed our time together, even just sitting and watching Netflix.
I flashed back to when I was about fifteen and I'd sat on the coach, snuggled, stuffed my face with popcorn and sipped on hot chocolate with just Adam and me. Jamie had been at a football match. I wasn’t just being with Adam for company, it was how I felt when I was with him, content, happy, loved and most all safe. Safe was something I never took for granted. My parents had told me that safe was just a word, and I didn’t know what it meant until I met Adam and his family. Happiness was new, sure I’d been happy over little things like, my parents going a couple of days remembering I was around and not getting high. I’d learned true happiness when Adam made sure I had food every night, and let me stay in Jamie’s room no questions asked, when his parents gave me clothes. I knew I was loved when affection was given freely, I was hugged and always made sure I knew I wasn’t alone. I felt safe because I knew I could always count on Adam and his family. If I didn’t leave now I would stay another night, and then another, and eventually never leave. I had work soon and I really needed to home to get a fresh pair of scrubs.
Hearing the horn of the Uber, I left the house making sure it was locked. The ride wasn’t long, and when I let myself into my house I went straight to my room and fell on the bed. I was so tired. The babies drained my energy and I was glad TAFE had been canceled today so I could have a nap before work. I couldn’t miss work, I’d missed enough so far with my morning, er night time sickness. I knew I was going to miss a lot more as the pregnancy went on. I was so grateful and felt so blessed to have such a good employer. They understood and told me to look after myself, and if I needed more time off, just make sure I gave them as much notice as I could. My job was tiring, but I did love it. I loved all the elderly that lived at the home. It was one of the best nursing homes around and from what I knew of the cost of staying there, it showed. It had to do with how well they treated their staff, and that treatment had them always putting a hundred percent into their job.
Getting my phone, I set my alarm to go off in two hours. That would give me time to get a quick shower, dressed and eat a sandwich and get to the bus on time for work.
Just as I’m about to drift off, I heard a bang and then what sounded like swearing following by more banging. Shooting up from the bed, I groaned as dizziness assaulted me. Stilling, I took calming breaths in and out until I felt okay to move. Slowly, I stood and made my way to my bedroom door. I opened the door a crack, and the scene before me had me swinging it wide and rushing out to Jamie, who was slumped on the floor against the door.
I crouched down in front him. “Jamie, are you okay?” I leaned in and stumbled back as the stench hit me, he smelled like the brewery threw up on him.
His eyes that had been closed shot open at my word. “Hannah, is that you?”
I nodded, and then realized he couldn’t see as he was staring at my breasts. “Yeah, it’s me. What happened to you?”
“Mmm, missed you.” He reached out and snagged me so I tumbled against him. I braced myself by putting my hands on the wall. “I love you,” he moaned, and buried his face against my chest.
Patting his head, I looked down towards his room and then back towards the lounge room gauging which was the closest. “I love you, too.”
He shook his head, and moaned into my breasts as he eased to a sitting position and sat me so I straddled him. “No.” His head shot up and his gaze caught mine. “You don’t understand. I love, love you.”
I shook my head. Jamie was drunk. Surely, he wasn’t talking about what I thought he was. I loved him, but like a brother. “I love you too, buddy.” I emphasized the "buddy."
“Argh,” he growled, and I tried to get off him as he grabbed my shoulders in a hard grip. “No. Not buddy. Why don’t you see me?” Before I comment or struggle, his mouth slammed down on mine and I froze. His gripped tightened and I knew I’d have bruises. His tongue sought entry but I wasn’t going to give it to him. This was doing nothing for me. Jamie was drunk and I knew drunk people did things they wouldn’t normally do. Staying still wasn’t working though, so I started fighting. Jamie took advantage, as I tried to pull away and yell, he stuck his tongue in my mouth. I pounded on him, but after a moment he stopped kissing me and eased back. I noticed something in his gaze, but was too angry to figure out what it was. Before I could yell at Jamie, I was lifted off him and helped to stand; placed behind a huge body. I touched his back as he leaned down and dragged Jamie up.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” The rage in Adam’s voice was unmistakable. “How the hell could you not tell that she didn’t want that? She was fighting you, for Christ sake, son.” He leaned in then swore. “Fucking hell. What the hell are you doing drunk at nine-thirty in the morning?” He dragged his son down to his room, and I ran ahead and opened Jamie’s door. Adam threw his son on the bed. “Sleep it off.”
“Dad. I’m sorr—”
“Don’t, Jamie. I swear, right now I’m holding on by thread not to come over and beat you black and blue for what I just saw.” Adam raked a hand through his hair. “It’s not me you should be apologizing to, it’s Hannah.” He turned his back on Jamie and faced me. “Pack your bags. You’re moving in with me.”
I shook my head and opened my mouth, “I—”
He didn’t even let me finish but growled, “Don’t argue. I can see my goddamn son's handprints on your fucking shoulder. Start packing your stuff.”
It was the look of sheer rage still shining from his eyes that had me turning and walking out the door. I was almost out when something I heard made me stop.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I thought, but I don’t. I don’t. Not like that. Sister. Sister or family. I’m sorry.” I didn’t need to turn to know that was Jamie. My heart squeezed, I would forgive him. Right then, I knew he’d needed that kiss, he’d needed it to figure out that he wasn’t in love with me, he loved me, but he wasn’t in love with me. He needed it to figure out that he didn’t love me like he thought.
I didn’t say anything, and I left the room. As much as I now understood why he did what he did, I was still so angry, so betrayed. I think what hurt the most, was he’d taken away someone, and a place I thought I was safe. I would forgive him, but I wouldn’t ever be able to live with him again, and I knew it would take me a long time before I felt safe to be alone with him again.
As soon as I reached my room, the tears fell and my heart felt like it was cracked. I went to the bed, sobs wracking my body. My shoulders that felt tender made themselves known.
When Adam’s arms wrapped around me, I fell into his embrace and let everything out. He rubbed my back and whispered, “It’ll be okay. I’ll look after you. Nothing like this will ever happen again. I promise you’re safe. It will all be okay now. I’ll never let anything happen to you.” As I snuggled against him and let him soothe, me I believed him and knew I was safe as long as I was with Adam.
ADAM
I WANTED TO KILL MY own son. The scene I came upon was out of my worst nightmare. No, I don’t even think my nightmares could conjure that up. My son had a struggling Hannah on him as he kissed her, and she fought him, clearly not wanting what he was taking. I could see Jamie was holding on to Hannah so tightly he was hurting her, and when I pulled her away I almost went for his throat to strangle the life out of him, when I saw the marks he left on her. I would have if she hadn’t placed her hand on my back, her touch soothing me as I dragged my son up, pulled him to his room, and then threw him on his bed.
Hannah wasn’t coming back here. She was moving in with me. Jamie tried to apologize, but it was too little too late in my opinion. When Hannah left to pack her bags, I stared down at my son, and didn’t miss the shame and pain that covered his face. I could tell he regretted what he’d done, but he shouldn’t have done it in the first place.
“Dad, I…I thought I was in love, but I… you were… I’m not,” he mumbled.
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. without Hannah, here I was scared of what I’d say to him, and I knew what I did say I would regret. I knew what he was saying and I hated to admit to myself, but I did feel relieved that he figured it out and that he wasn’t in love with Hannah. I gave Jamie a chin lift in acknowledgment and left his room shutting his door and went straight to Hannah. When I saw her on her bed crying I wanted to go back to my son and beat the shit out of him. Instead, I eased onto the bed and brought her gently into my embrace and hugged her soothing her and making promises. I don’t know how long we sat cuddling and me soothing her, but the alarm on her phone went off and she slid off me.
“I need to shower, have some food, and then go to work.” She looked around her room and then paused on the bathroom door. “Can you stay? Please.”
I could see in her gaze that she was still scared, and I clenched and unclenched my hand. “I’m not going anywhere, angel. While you shower, I’ll start packing your clothes.”
She nodded. “Okay. Yeah good. I, um, still have the boxes, they're flat in my cupboard up at the very top. If you get tape you could do them up again.”
“I’ll sort that out. You get your shower.” She sent me a smile, but it was a weak one, that didn’t reach her eyes. I watched her go to the bathroom and didn’t leave to get the duck-tape until she shut the door.
HANNAH
I DIDN’T REALIZE WHEN ADAM said pack your bags, I was moving in with him, that he actually meant it. By the time Adam picked me up from work on Thursday—that he’d reluctantly taken me to, he thought after what happened I should call in sick—all of my stuff was at Adam’s. I didn’t have much, just my clothes, knick-knacks, and some of the furniture. The bed I bought stayed, but I didn’t care, Adam’s bed was a million times better than my own.
I came home to find all my clothes in Adam’s huge walk-in closest. I checked drawers and blushed to find my underwear in the two left drawers, along with a note to wear the blue lacy matching set. My queasiness after work hadn’t been as bad and I wouldn’t admit it to him, but I’d enjoyed being dropped off and picked up from work by Adam.
Yesterday had been my last full day of TAFE, and it was now school holidays. I had three weeks free to relax and only go to work. Today, I was going out shopping with Kate and some of our girlfriends, and this afternoon Adam was taking me to the movies.
I had a lot of catching up to do with my girlfriends and I wasn’t looking forward to Kat’s gloating about being right over my panties and tied t-shirt. They’d want all the new details. Kate had already squealed so loud I think she broke my eye drum when she learned I was now living with Adam. I would tell them everything and only skim over what happened with Jamie or at least play it down. If I told it like it really happened, Kate and some of my other friends would go postal on Jamie. I’d never hear the end from Kate, she’d advised me not to move in with Jamie, saying it was moving backwards as the father was who I wanted, not the son.
I glanced at the bedside clock, and groaned at the time. I had half an hour before Kate was picking me up. Adam had left hours ago at some ungodly hour. “Have fun with your friends. See you this afternoon, angel," he'd whispered before kissing me on the cheek.
I grumbled something back, but couldn’t remember what, and snuggled over onto to his side of the bed hugging his pillow. My alarm had gone off twenty minutes ago, but I didn’t want to move from my soft cocoon.
My phone rang on my side of the bed on the bedside drawers. I ignored it and then it rang again. Groaning I rolled over and answered it.
“This is your wakeup call. Get out of bed, you lazy bitch, I will be there in less than half an hour and if you’re not ready, I will huff and puff and let myself in to explore and mess with shit.” Kate’s voice was loud and bright like she’d been awake for at least a couple of hours or so.
“I’m hanging up on you now, you evil witch. You do remember I’m pregnant and I need extra sleep.”
“Oh, please, before hot baby daddy knocked your fat arse up, you never got up willingly before nine, so don’t say the babies have made a difference.” I could almost hear her eyes rolling with that reply.
She was right, but I wasn’t going to answer her. Instead I hung up, and got my arse out of bed, because she would do what she said and I really didn’t want her snooping.
Kate arrived early. I knew she would, and was ready in black yoga pants and a pink baby doll style top. My wedges were black with pink butterflies on them. I didn’t wear a lot of make-up, but highlighted my eyes and lips.
As soon as I got in Kate’s car, she grinned over at me. “You look hot. You’d never know you’re knocked up with triplets.” She wiggled her eyebrows up and down. “Do you think Jamie has the same potent sperm as his daddy?” Kate had always had a thing for Jamie, but he thought she was too loud and out there. She wasn’t shy that was for sure, but Kate was a great friend and very loyal. If I wasn’t with Jamie, I was with Kate. Her parents loved me and thought I was a positive influence on their daughter which was funny considering my parents were druggies. Kate was a wild child, but I always calmed her. I’d seen the worst in people and knew what to stay away from.
“Ew, Kate, I don’t want to think of Jamie’s sperm. To tell the truth I don’t want to think of him at all. I’m so angry.” I shivered as I remembered his touch, and I revisited the urge to touch my shoulders.
“You going to tell me what really happened or you going to stick to the watered-down version you gave me?” Kate didn’t take her eyes from the road, but I watched as her lips thinned and I heard the annoyance in her voice. She knew me so well, and I wasn’t surprised she didn’t buy what I’d told her.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Trust me, if you know you’ll be pissed too. Adam is…” I shook my head. I’d never seen Adam as angry as he had been when he’d come upon Jamie and me. I thought he was going to beat up his own son. He hadn’t spoken to Jamie, and I knew I had to get him to, but I was scared. I’d never been scared of Jamie in my life, I never thought in my wildest of dreams, that I would have a reason to be. Adam had to talk to his son though, but I couldn’t even think about Jamie without getting sick. “Let’s just say he didn’t something I didn’t want.”
She shot me a look before focusing back on the road, but she must have gotten something from me since she nodded. “Your face says it all. Let’s talk about something else. So, you’re with Adam, and having triplets?” Kate blurted it out as though we were talking about the raining coming in on Thursday; like it was no big deal.
I groaned. This wasn’t an easy subject either. “I think. Yes.” I should just tell Kate, she always listened and gave advice even if I didn’t want it. “Look, I’m worried he’s with me because I’m pregnant, and not because he wants this to work with me.”
The car was quiet for a moment before laughter echoed through it. “Oh, God. You’re hilarious. Anyone with eyes can see that man has had a hard on for you for years. He undresses you with his eyes anytime you walk into a room. I’m surprised his family hasn’t noticed and said something to you.”
I looked at Kate to see if she was serious, or just trying to convince me. She was laughing, but her face spoke that she was telling the truth. “You never said anything.”
“You wouldn’t have believed me. It was Lucy who pointed it out me and then it became obvious. It's why I helped you. I told you to wear his shirts tied at the waist and sexy panties. I was the one who pushed you to find him at the house party.”
“Ha, look how that turned out. Thanks.” I rolled my eyes heaven wards because she had been the one to push me into making a move and it had gotten me pregnant with triplets.
“You’re welcome. Trust me when I say this is right for you. I’d bet my closest including my shoes that you and Adam will work out, be deliriously happy, and have a football team worth of babies.” The smile that spread over Kate’s face was contagious, I wanted what she said to happen. A football team of little Adam’s would be my idea of heaven.
ADAM
DAMN, I WAS ONE LUCKY man. I watched as my beautiful woman came into the lounge room her face shining with happiness, and her arms loaded full of bags. I got up out of the chair to take the bags she shouldn’t be carrying. She radiated love as she beamed at me, when I came towards her. Her stunning green eyes shined brighter the closer I got her.
“Angel, you should have yelled out and I would have carried these. You shouldn’t be lifting anything.”
“They’re not heavy just clothes and oh…” She jumped up and down with excitement and I chuckled as she dropped the bags and then bent and rummaged through one pulling out a tiny onesie. “Look at this. Isn’t it just the cutest?” Her cheeks turned red. “It’s true too.”
I looked at the onesie, it was green and white striped but in black writing it said, ‘My mommy loved my daddy so much that they made three babies with one try.’ I read it twice just to make sure I wasn’t seeing what I wanted to, and not what was really there. My heart soared and I gathered Hannah into my embrace. “You love me?” She nodded, but I wanted the words. “Angel, I want to hear the words.”
“I…I…” she gulped. I tilted her hand and brushed my thumb over her lips.
“Do you need me to say it first?” Her yes went wide, and I’ve never seen happiness shine so brightly from someone. In that moment, I realized I would do anything to see this face before me for the rest of my life. Caressing her cheek, I gazed into her loving eyes and gave her what she needed. “Hannah Wright, I love you.”
She threw her arms around me, and I stumbled back a step. “I love you, too. I have loved you for so long. You love me,” she sobbed out the last part.
Capturing her lips to my own, I showed her just how I felt.
“What the fuck is going on? Dad why are you kissing Hannah?” Easing away from Hannah, I buried her face against my shoulder and turned my gaze to my son. The look of utter anger and betrayal on Jamie’s face had guilt washing over me.
“Son, I can—”
“Don’t.” His hand slashed through the air. “You know, I came around to apologize and make peace so tomorrow wouldn’t be so uncomfortable.” His eyes shot back and forth between me and Hannah. You couldn’t miss that we weren’t a new couple, not with the way she clung to me, and my hand resting protectively over her stomach. “She’s preg…please, tell me it not yours?”
“Jamie, I was going to—” Hannah tried to answer, but Jamie didn’t let her.
“Hannah don’t. I want to hear it from him.” Jamie pointed his finger at me. “I told you. I told you how I thought I felt, and you said nothing.” My son stared at me and his voice was guttural when he muttered, “How could you?”
I hated what I had to do especially in front of Hannah, but I needed it all to be said. “Jamie, I agree with you I should have said something to you, but just wait a minute and answer this. How do you feel about Hannah now that you’ve kissed her?”
Glancing down at Hannah, I noticed she still hadn’t turned to look at Jamie. It was then I felt it, her whole body shook. She was scared. Fuck, she was scared of my son. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed gently. I leaned down and whispered, “I promise you’re safe. I would never let anything happen to you.”
“Fuck!” Jamie’s yell had her jumping and a squeak left her lips. “I’m so sorry, Hannah. Don’t be scared of me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jamie cried.
I didn’t want to do it, Jamie was my son, but what he’d done to Hannah was not okay and I needed to make sure the woman I loved, the woman who carried my babies and my son's siblings, came first. “Jamie, you need to leave.”
“I don’t, Dad. I thought I was in love, but I’m not in love. I just love her, like a sister, um…” He looked at the two of us and shook his head. “Er, friend. A best friend. Hannah, I can’t say I’m sorry enough. I felt nothing when I kissed you. Please forgive me. I was drunk and confused. I know that’s no excuse, but please, Hannah. I would never hurt you, I will never hurt you again.”
It must have been the utter pitiful sound of Jamie’s voice that had Hannah turning in my embrace. She gripped my hands that rested over the swell of her stomach where our children rested. I could feel her trembling, but I knew she needed to do what she needed to. “I forgive you, but I’m not living with you.” Jamie nodded and she continued. “I forgive you, but Jamie you lost my trust, and I don’t know if you’ll ever get it back, at least not fully.” She took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. She squeezed my arm and rested her head back against me. “I should have told you about your father and me. For that, I’m sorry.” She straightened and wiggled out of my embrace, taking a step towards Jamie. “I don’t want what happened, and me and your father being together, ruining the fragile relationship we still have.” Hannah reached out her hand and threaded her fingers through mine and I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face. “You’re going to my babies’ big brother.”
“Babies?” Jamie stumbled back.
I took over for Hannah. “Yes. We’re pregnant with triplets.” I brought Hannah’s hand up and kissed her knuckles. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I’m going to tell you so we’re straight. I love Hannah. I’m in love with Hannah. I have been for long time. I’ve battled with worried over how you felt, and how the family would take this. I spent months after the party nit-picking all reasons why I shouldn’t be in love with her, but Jamie, you know Hannah, she’s so easy to love. I can talk to her for hours, and most of the time it’s just about silly stuff like, movies, food, cars and clothes. Do you know that until I didn’t have you living with me, I didn’t realize how much time I spent with Hannah just the two us? Did you know she talked to me about work or asked me about it every day she stayed over? She watched Stargate, Doctor Who and Star Trek, all the geeky shows you didn’t watch with me. She played with my hair as we watched and muscled my shoulders when I was sore. She may not be a morning person, but did you see she made my lunch for work anytime she was around? That’s just things I can think of now—”
“You made my dad lunch? You massaged him?” Jamie asked like I was bullshitting.
Hannah shrugged. “Who do you think made the lasagna, spaghetti, and roast? Your grandma and great Grammy taught me how. And as for massaging your dad, Adam, I took any chance I could get to put my hands on him.”
I gathered her to me and leaned down and whispered in her ear. “Minx.” She shivered and I knew this was a good one as she leaned back against me and turned her face up to me with a cheeky grin.
“Argh, yeah. I’m going now. I’m okay with you two being together, but it’s gunna take me a while to get used to it. I don’t think I’ll ever get use to that look you both have now.”
Neither of us answered my son. I just picked my woman up, she wrapped her legs and arms around me as I carried her down to our room. “I need you. Let me show you how much I love you and then I promise to take you out to dinner. I’ve booked your favorite too, Mexican. What do you think?”
Her lips smashed against mine and she ground herself against me. I knew she’d given me my answer.