Several hours later, Carol was trying to keep smiling as she and Ginny watched as a stylist did Emma’s hair in a pretty updo.

She felt sick and exhausted and depressed—and guilty because she couldn’t enjoy Emma’s wedding day as much as she should.

She tried.

She really did.

She tried to put Patrick out of her mind so she could focus on Emma.

But she still felt sick to her stomach with heavy, aching eyes.

Replaying the events of last night in her mind only made them worse.

It had felt so good with Patrick—so right—so much of what she wanted. But if he wasn’t serious about her, then she couldn’t take the risk. It was already hard enough to keep her heart intact. She couldn’t let herself get crushed any more than she already had.

He’d said he wanted to just see what happened between them—without any sort of certainty or commitment. And she couldn’t do that. Maybe it proved she was unreasonable and not cut out for modern dating, but she had to be true to herself, to who she really was.

And she needed more from Patrick then just a vague expression of interest if she was going to go any further.

She couldn’t do casual. Not with Patrick anyway.

Emma was reviewing her to-do list for the day—for the third or fourth time. Carol understood. She’d be the same way herself if she were getting married in a few hours. But she had trouble paying attention and not letting her mind drift to Patrick.

She was a terrible friend.

It was Emma’s wedding day.

It wasn’t Carol’s time to be sad.

“What’s the matter?” Emma asked, pausing in her list of things they had to remember to do.

Carol stiffened when she realized Emma’s question had been directed at her. “What? Nothing. Nothing.”

Emma frowned. “Are you lying to me? On my wedding day?”

“It’s really nothing.” Carol forced a smile, and she thought it was mostly natural.

“You said nothing happened with Patrick,” Ginny said, searching Carol’s face in the same way Emma was. “But something did happen. Didn’t it?”

Carol had tried to brush off their questions earlier by making it seem like the conversation wasn’t as serious as she’d thought, and she’d thought they’d initially bought it.

But they weren’t buying it now.

“You’re about to cry,” Emma said.

“No, I’m not.” Despite her words, Carol felt her eyes burning, and she sniffed to hold on to her composure.

“Carol.” Ginny’s voice held an edge of warning.

“It’s nothing! It’s Emma’s wedding day. I’m fine. I’m happy!”

Emma let out a sigh that sounded almost resigned. “What did Patrick do?”

“Nothing!” Carol was flustered and upset and emotional and exhausted, and she’d never been any good at lying, even in her best condition. “I mean, the truth is, I thought for a while that maybe… maybe he… But nothing happened. I’m a little disappointed, I guess. But nothing has changed. He’s just never… never going to want what I want.”

It was a garbled, stilted answer with nothing but vague allusions, but her friends seemed to understand it anyway.

Ginny reached out a comforting hand to place on Carol’s arm. “I’m really sorry.”

Emma’s was still frowning, and now she was shaking her head. “What did he say?”

Carol couldn’t go into details or she would burst into tears, and she just wasn’t going to do that on the wedding day of one of her two best friends. So she sniffed again and pressed her lips together. “It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t want me the way I want him, and I’m going to have to accept it.”

Emma didn’t say anything, but she still didn’t look happy.

Carol let out a frustrated exclamation. “Now see! I’ve messed things up on your wedding day.”

“You haven’t messed anything up,” Ginny said quickly.

“It feels like I have. So can we please just drop this subject and concentrate on Emma?”

To her relief, the others did as she said, although she suspected the subject wasn’t completely forgotten.

***

At two o’clock in the afternoon, Patrick was wearing a tuxedo and wishing he wasn’t.

Obviously, he had to wear a tux if he was going to be one of Noah’s groomsmen, but he was hot and uncomfortable and tired of acting like everything was fine.

It wasn’t fine. It was terrible. It felt like the air around him was closing in, suffocating him, reminding him that he’d lost Carol forever.

But he couldn’t rip off his clothes and hide in a dark room. He had to get through this wedding and try to act like a real friend and a good brother.

He, Ryan, and Noah were all dressed and ready and hanging around in a hallway of the old church until it was time to start taking the photographs. The women were still in the dressing room getting ready.

It felt like they’d been getting dressed forever.

He hadn’t seen Carol yet today, but he knew he would soon. He was going to have to pose for a bunch of wedding party photos with her. Then he was going to have to watch her walk down the aisle. Then he was going to have stand across from her at the front of the church and recess out beside her.

It was going to be hell. Nothing but hell.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths and prayed he could get through this.

“Hey,” Ryan said. “What’s up with you?”

Patrick opened his eyes. “Nothing.”

“You look sick or something.”

“I’m not sick.”

Noah was standing up, pacing restlessly from window to window. He didn’t look scared. He looked excited. Like he was anxious to get on with this so he could finally get married.

Patrick imagined he might feel similarly if he were about to get married to Carol.

Then he realized that was the last thing he should be thinking.

“What the hell, man?” Noah said, having turned to look at Patrick. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Seriously,” Noah said. “Have you looked that bad all day?”

“Yeah,” Ryan replied. “He has. You’ve just been too out of it to notice.”

They were about to interrogate him. Patrick could see it on their faces. They were about to demand he tell them what was wrong, and he’d either have to lie or avoid their questions. So he almost groaned with relief when Ginny appeared around the corner, looking gorgeous in a dark red dress, heels, and fancy hair.

“Look at you,” Ryan said, eyeing his fiancée appreciatively.

Ginny gave him a little smile, but then her eyes focused on Patrick. “You,” she said.

He blinked. “Me what?”

“Emma wants to talk to you.”

“What?”

“Are you deaf? Emma wants to talk to you. She’s your sister, and she’s already in her dress, so she can’t come out here. So you need to come to her.”

Patrick hauled himself to his feet, confused but a bit relieved at the reprieve from his friends’ interrogation. “All right.”

He followed her down the hall and in through the door to the dressing room. To his relief, it was empty except for Emma, and Ginny stayed in the hall, closing the door behind her.

“You look great,” Patrick said, looking at her in her long white dress with pretty lace and simple lines.

She was frowning at him. “Don’t try to change the subject.”

“What subject?” He was genuinely confused. She was glaring at him like he’d done something wrong.

“What the hell did you say to Carol?” she demanded.

Patrick froze. “Wh—” He couldn’t complete even the one word.

“How could you possibly mess this up so much? I thought you were going to fix it!”

He clenched his hands at his side. “I… tried.”

She assumed this was his fault, when it was Carol who had stomped on his heart.

“You tried? You tried? This is what you’re telling me on my wedding day, when Carol has been about to cry all day? You tried? Well, I’m telling you right now. Try harder.”

Patrick was still trying to find words to explain—and trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Carol had been about to cry—when there was a knock on the door.

“Now get out of here,” Emma told him, pushing him toward the door. “And remember that this is my wedding day and you don’t get to mess it all up by being clueless.”

Patrick was baffled, disoriented, his emotions in an uproar, as he left the dressing room and went back to find Noah and Ryan.

They didn’t have time to ask him any questions because Ginny was calling them over for wedding party pictures. They’d do Noah and the groomsmen. Then the groomsmen and the bridesmaids. Then the bridesmaids with Emma.

The bride and groom pictures as well as the full wedding party would have to wait until after the wedding, so Noah wouldn’t see Emma too soon.

Patrick went through the motions in the groomsmen pictures, hoping that his misery and confusion at the moment wouldn’t be documented forever in a photograph. When Carol and Ginny arrived, Patrick tried not to stare. But Carol looked gorgeous in a dark red dress like Ginny wore with a long soft skirt and a low neckline, her hair pulled back in a thick bun on the nape of her neck.

Her skin looked a little too pale beneath her makeup, and she wouldn’t look at him.

She was upset with him.

Upset with him.

He could see that immediately.

When she was the one who had broken his heart.

There was a lot of laughter and chatter from the others, but he didn’t say a word, and he stood stiffly through the different poses, even the one where he had to put his arm around Carol’s waist.

There was a break while Noah was shuffled out to another room and Emma came in. The first thing she did was meet his eyes and give him a significant look and a nod toward Carol.

He knew exactly what she was telling him. He was supposed to talk to Carol.

He had no idea what to say, but it was his sister’s wedding day.

And he didn’t like the idea that Carol was upset.

The world wasn’t right if Carol was upset.

So he steeled himself, and in the confusion, he put a hand on Carol’s back and walked her into the hallway.

“What are you doing?” she demanded.

“We need to talk.” His voice was so hoarse it sounded rough.

She scowled at him. “We do not need to talk. We have nothing to say to each other.”

“I think we do.” He had no idea why, but her obvious annoyance was firing him up. She was angry with him. With him. When she had stomped his heart into the mud.

“Well, I don’t care what you think. I’m telling you we don’t. I don’t care if you think I’m some marshmallow who’s here to worship at your feet.”

“Worship… at my… feet.” He was almost gaping at her, trying to understand what she was saying.

“You don’t get to treat me that way. You don’t get to screw me when you feel like it and then just string me along with some half-assed suggestion of being casual.”

Her face was blurring in front of his eyes, and his legs felt slightly wobbly. He could hardly process what she was saying. “Casual?”

“Yes, casual! I don’t care if you don’t really know what you want. I don’t care if it’s a normal guy thing to hedge all his bets in case something better comes along. You don’t get to do that with me. You don’t get to screw me and then not take me seriously.” Her teeth were practically snapping, she was so angry and outraged with him.

She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Carol!” Ginny called from the room. “Get back in here! We need to take pictures.”

Carol turned her head at the voice, but then she gave Patrick one last glare. “So that’s all I have to say to you.”

Patrick finally found his voice as she was walking away. He bellowed, “What?”

***

Carol closed the door on Patrick’s outraged face and unnecessarily loud exclamation.

When she turned around, her friends and the photographer were staring at her.

“What was that about?” Ginny asked, looking excited and intrigued.

“Nothing. I just told Patrick exactly what I thought about him.”

“You did?” Emma asked, adjusting the skirt of her dress. “He didn’t sound too happy about it.”

“He wasn’t. But I don’t care. I needed to tell him anyway.” She gave a little nod, ludicrously pleased for herself for finally saying exactly what she felt.

“Did you let him say anything?” Emma asked, her face torn between concern and amusement.

“No. I didn’t. I wanted to say a few things myself without letting him get me all flustered. Now are we going to take some photos or what?”

They posed for the photos, and Carol’s heartbeat finally started to slow down. She was glad she’d said what she’d said to Patrick. She’d needed to say it.

But she was starting to wonder what Patrick had taken her out into the hallway to tell her.

She would have to worry about it later because they were soon done with the photos and had gone back into the dressing room to give themselves one last primp. Soon it would be time to line up to process.

The church sanctuary was filling up. Music was wafting down through the hallway.

Emma and Noah were about to get married.

That was the most important thing right now.

When she stepped out of the dressing room, someone was waiting for her. He took her by the arm and pulled her down the hall and around a corner so they were out of sight of anyone else.

Carol stared up at Patrick with wide eyes. He had her backed against the wall, and he seemed bigger than usual. Strong and hard and intense with flashing dark eyes and a muscle fluttering in his jaw.

She was so attracted to him she lost her breath, her knees went weak, her hands started to tremble.

“What do—”

He didn’t let her finish her breathless question. He made a sound in his throat, almost like a growl. “Now I have a few things to say to you,” he said thickly, stepping a little closer so she could feel the heat from his body.

Quite without volition, her hands went up and flattened against his chest.

“First,” he went on, that same delicious texture to his voice, “I didn’t screw you. I never screwed you. It wasn’t anything like that, and you damn well know it. Second, I never said a word about it being casual. What kind of insanity is that?”

He paused to take a breath, and she felt a flash of defensiveness. “You said we should play it by ear, see what happens. That means casual. I’m not an idiot, you know.”

“I never said you were an idiot. And I never said I wanted something casual with you. I said I wanted to be with you, and that’s what I meant. I was trying to be…” For the first time, his fierce expression flickered with something like self-consciousness, something a lot more Patrick-like. “I was trying not to pressure you or say something to scare you. I didn’t think you’d want to hear everything from me right away.”

She clutched at the lapels of his jacket, trying to stay on her feet and not slide to the floor in a puddle of emotion and excitement. “Hear… everything?”

“Yes, hear everything. I was trying… I never said I wanted it to be casual. Of course I don’t feel casual about you. I’m crazy about you. Out of my mind crazy about you. There’s nothing casual about how I feel.”

“There’s… not?”

“Of course not.” His eyes were fierce again. Fierce and deep and warm and slightly ironic and so incredibly kind. “I love you, Carol. I… just love you.”

She gaped at him, her mind exploding in a burst of feeling that left her completely paralyzed.

“Patrick! Where are you? You’re supposed to be at the front of the church!” That was Ginny’s voice, sounding annoyed.

Carol tried breathing and was amazed she actually could.

Patrick had looked over at Ginny’s voice, but now he turned to face her again. “So there. That’s what I have to say to you.”

Ginny called for him again, so he started toward the sound of her voice.

Carol stared at his retreating back until she could finally get a word out.

She let it out in an outraged bellow. “What?”

***

Patrick desperately wanted to turn around so he could see Carol’s expression. He’d thought—he’d hoped—that she wanted to hear what he had to say, but part of him was terrified that he’d gone too far, said too much, admitted something too deep, too intense. And she would run away from him in terror.

He actually started to turn around, but Ginny had caught up with him, and she was rushing him down the back hallway and toward the door in the front of the sanctuary so he could hurry over to stand next to Noah and Ryan and the preacher.

The church was full. Everyone stared at him as he positioned himself. He was the thoughtless groomsmen who was late for his best friend’s wedding.

And he’d just told the love of his life how he felt about her.

He had no idea how she would respond.

He had no opportunity to focus on it because soon the processional music was beginning. First there was a pretty little flower girl—a cousin of his and Emma’s who was so proud of her role in the wedding. Then there was Ginny coming down the aisle with her bouquet and a little smirk on her face.

Then there was Carol. He couldn’t look away from her. She was pretty and flushed with a smile on the corners of her mouth, and her eyes kept darting over to where Patrick was standing.

As she got closer, he could see more details about her appearance. The curve of her hips. The shadow and cleft of her cleavage. The strands of hair slipping out of her bun. The way her hands were shaking slightly.

Her eyes met his for a long moment before she turned to take her place.

Patrick’s heart flipped in his chest several times.

She was excited.

She was happy.

She was his.

At least he hoped she was.

It certainly didn’t look like he’d scared her off.

The music changed just then, and Emma started to process. She was beautiful and beaming, and he was momentarily distracted by how incredibly happy she looked.

She deserved it, if anyone did.

And Noah beside him looked just as happy, like he was dying to reach out to get to her.

That was what Patrick wanted too.

He wanted it with Carol.

He glanced over toward her and saw she was watching him. His heart did several more flip-flops.

The actual ceremony was quite short. Just a hymn, a three-minute homily, the vows, and the exchanging of rings.

Patrick was feeling so much he felt for sure like his soul would break the bonds of his body and finally be free.

When Emma and Noah kissed, he dared another quick look at Carol. She wasn’t smiling now, and it suddenly worried him.

What if he’d been wrong?

What if she wasn’t actually happy about what he’d told her?

What if she was going to try to let him down easy?

There was no easy way down for him. If he came down, it would be with a crash that would level him, cripple him emotionally.

His breathing sped up as the preacher pronounced Emma and Noah as husband and wife.

The people in the church cheered as the music grew rousing and Emma and Noah recessed up together. Ginny and Ryan followed them, holding each other’s hands.

Then Patrick stepped forward to meet Carol in the middle of the aisle.

He stared at her while the music played.

She stared back at him, her silver eyes wide and full of feeling.

He loved her so much.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she didn’t let him. She suddenly reached up to take his head in both hands and pulled it down into a kiss.

Right there in the middle of the sanctuary.

Another cheer went up from the people watching as Patrick grabbed Carol to pull her even closer.

She was his. She was his.

Just as surely as he was hers.

She finally pulled away from him, flushed hotly red and giggling. Patrick turned sheepishly to look and saw Ginny and Ryan and Emma and Noah all standing at the end of the aisle, laughing and clapping their hands.

They were happy for them. Genuinely happy.

Almost as happy as he was.