The door to the exam room swings open without concern for what is happening in here. Dr. Stevens quickly removes the probe and covers me from prying eyes. The nurse quickly helps me to a sitting position. My exam forgotten.
A doctor, whom I have never seen before, strides in. There are small dark spots spread over the front of his navy blue scrub shirt. His face looks drawn and tired. Another person enters on his heels. This one I recognize as Daniel’s personal doctor.
“Your Highness.” Daniel’s doctor says bowing. “This is Dr. Edwards. He was the surgeon who operated on the King.”
“Your Highness.” Dr. Edwards bows. “We did everything we could for the King, but I’m afraid it may not have been enough. The knife nicked his aorta, the main artery in the body. He lost a lot of blood and coded twice on the operating room table. After the second time we were forced to close up. I repaired it the best I could. It is hard to tell how long his brain was without blood. I just don’t know what will happen.”
A sob escapes me as he speaks. My hands go to my abdomen as a sharp cramp over takes me. Dr. Stevens quickly orders the nurse to get a sedative.
“No, I don’t want it.” I say to her. “I need to see Daniel.”
“Your Highness, I don’t advise that. There are wires and tubes keeping him alive as we speak.”
“I don’t care. If he is going to die he will know we are there.” I speak with authority.
“Please, Daphne.” Dr. Stevens pleads. “Think of the baby. It’s too much of a risk. We don’t know how much of that blood is yours.”
I take a deep breath then ask, “If I am losing this baby, is there anything you can do to stop it?”
She shakes her head from side to side.
“Then I can’t worry about it now. Daniel needs me.”
I look to Dante who snuck into the room when the doctors came in. He nods sadly, understanding what I want then leaves. He returns quickly with a wheel chair.
“You heard your Queen. She is going to see the King, her husband.” Dante announces to the room.
Dr. Stevens and a nurse assist me into the wheel chair Dante holds in position. The surgeon holds the door open for us then leads us down a series of corridors and doors. Eventually, we come to what looks like a recovery room and intensive care unit rolled into one. The first thing to assault my senses is the noise- the slow beep of a machine, the hiss of another machine. The next sense affected is smell- the stringent bleach-like chemicals. Finally, although they say light travels faster than sound, in this case I believe my eyes refused to see what was in front of them.
There is only one patient here and guards are surrounding the only bed. My heart lurches in my chest. The man I love and plan to spend my life with is in the middle of the bed looking small and broken, despite being the large, powerful man he was.
Is!
I wipe at my eyes then place my hands across my abdomen, protectively. Dante continues wheeling me next to Daniel. I clasp his limp hand in mine, squeezing it, reassuring myself he is still here. Instead his hand feels lifeless, cold. I remember the first time he held my hand. It sent shivers straight to my core.
The way he gripped the handle bars of the motorcycle.
The way he gripped me tightly ensuring I held on as we escaped Paris.
The way he held both my hands as he plunged deeper into me our first time together as man and wife.
I knew there would be no one else for me. This man had me reacting to him on a basic level from the very beginning. We overcame the obstacles. We will overcome this one also.
I kiss his hand.
“Daniel, baby it’s me.” I whisper.
I wait hoping for him to open his eyes for me.
“Please don’t leave me. You know I can’t do any of this without you. You’re the one who convinced me I could run the country. You promised me you would be here to guide me and love me.”
I wipe the hair that fell over his left eye and caress his cheek. The beeping on the machine slows a bit more.
“Baby, don’t you dare leave me. You have a son or daughter to meet. What am I going to tell them why you left? Please, Daniel, don’t do this.” I plead with him. “I need you like I need oxygen to breath.”
The beeping hesitates and I look at the screen. There is one line with nothing registering. No beeping. No sign of a heartbeat. When I turn around, I see that I am alone in the room with Daniel.
“Dammit it! Don’t you leave me?” I scream at him. “Don’t leave me alone. Everyone has left me. Not you too.”
Still nothing.
“Please.” I cry.
Nothing.
“I won’t do this without you.”
Silence.
“The baby and I won’t survive without you.”
I place my head on the bed over his hand. My tears soak his hand.
Beep.
Surprised, I look at the screen.
“That’s it baby. Come back to me.”
The beeping stops again. This time the pause is even longer. I stand from the wheel chair placing my head over his broken body, not caring about the wires and tubes. The tears leaking from my eyes soak the hospital gown he wears. As I lay here, I realize there haven’t been any more beeps except for a long tone. My body shakes uncontrollably from the sobs being torn from me. The cramping in my stomach has become more painful.
“Dammit, you can’t take them both from me.” I howl towards the heavens. “It’s not fair. You’ve taken everyone from me.”
In my anger, I started pounding on Daniel’s chest urging him to wake up and come back to me. Dante and the doctors find me like this. Dante pulls me off Daniel and away from him. Instead of placing me back in the wheelchair, he lifts me carrying me away from the room.
I bury my face in his chest.
The last thing I hear is the doctor say is “Time of death 3:49 am,” then the door closes.
The shakes come as it settles in that Daniel is never coming back. He will never open his eyes again and gaze upon me with love. He will never see his child born. He won’t be here to help me raise our child. Daniel is gone and never coming back.
I’m only half a person now.
The other half of my soul is gone.