Friday. London, United Kingdom.

Tanya’s back hit the mattress and the robe fell open. Her head buzzed and her hands fumbled with Isaac’s damp shirt. The cool air of the bedroom chilled the material. Her too-warm body shivered in response.

Isaac leaned over her, his big body pressing her down into the mattress. There was no flutter of fear, no second thoughts. He didn’t set off her alarm bells. It was a freeing sensation to let go and lose herself in the moment. The feel of his hands on her body, the hot and cold of her skin, the way he stared at her like a starving man. She curled her toes on nothing and fisted the sheets under her.

He was far too pleased with himself. That silly grin hadn’t left his face since she’d uttered the word sex. It wasn’t a threatening expression. It was lighthearted. Fun. He didn’t strike her as the cruel type of guy either. The smile was a promise of pleasure, something she desperately wanted.

Her nerves were wound up, still. Putting herself out there, asking him for this, it was a risk. She had to find a balance between the person she was playing and herself. The line was so thin and blurred these days, she needed to hang onto what made her Tanya. The real Tanya.

Isaac knew, and had guessed, enough about her that he could fill in most of the blanks. It made him both safe and dangerous. She didn’t have to pretend with him, but she also had to hold onto what secrets she still owned. To do that, she had to regain some of her confidence, or else she’d give him everything.

He dipped his head and pressed his lips to her stomach. The muscles in her abdomen fluttered at the gentle touch. Her body didn’t quite remember what it was like to feel pleasure. That connection was one way back to being herself again.

She let her eyelids drift close. He kissed his way up her stomach and to her sternum. Lust wound itself around her with every touch of skin on skin, making it hard to breathe.

His damp shirt slid against her hip. The waterlogged fabric sent more chill bumps up and down her body.

Tanya hissed and shifted her too-hot body away from the threat of cold.

“My bad.” Isaac pushed up and pulled the shirt off, leaving nothing but a pair of battered dog tags on his upper body.

She’d seen a lot of perfectly-sculpted men, but Isaac was different. The scars on his chest and arms told a story. He’d sacrificed to save someone before, and she could trust he’d do it again. He’d proven that to her so far. She hoped to not have to him to risk his life again, but if she did, he was the person she’d call on.

They stared at each other.

It might be the most honest, truthful moment she’d had in...years.

She wanted him, and he wanted her. It really was that easy.

Isaac planted one hand on the bed at her waist and leaned forward. His other hand flattened against the mattress near her shoulder and he lowered his body to hers. She gasped at the feel of his cool skin. His mouth sealed over hers, his tongue teasing her lips. She slid her hands around his waist, luxuriating in the feel of another warm body.

His hand coasted over her shoulder and covered her breast. She groaned and arched her back, but he shifted his hand lower. His fingers teased her stomach and the crease where hip met leg. His lips curved into a smile mid-kiss.

What the hell was he up to?

He caressed her folds, gentle intimate strokes.

The breath stuttered from her lungs at the promise of what he could do with those very talented fingers. She appreciated that he was an experienced partner. There would be no fumbling around, and all the uncertainty was on her side.

“This is going to be fun.” His lips caressed hers as he spoke.

Isaac pressed his mouth to hers. His fingers thrust inside of her, taking her by surprise. She lifted her hips and groaned. He chuckled and pressed deeper, massaging her mound with his thumb.

The tension in her body shifted from nervous to needy. She planted her foot on the bed and shifted in time with his hand, seeking what he offered.

He kissed down her neck and body, pausing only to gently bite her inner thigh. His hand never stopped moving, his fingers curling and thrusting in time with his thumb.

She sucked down a deep breath and shifted, trying to get closer. Or she tried to. He braced his arm across her hips and held her in place. She gripped the comforter with both hands and waited for the panic to rear its ugly head.

Isaac kissed her mound and worked his thumb lower until he massaged the delicate skin over her clit. The bundle of nerves sent ripples of pleasure through her body.

Tanya groaned and arched her back.

There wasn’t room for anything but lust right now. Not with the way he was filling her body.

He let go of her hips and pulled his fingers from inside of her. She whimpered at the loss of him, but only for a moment. Isaac slid his hands under her ass and lifted her off the comforter. His mouth kissed her folds, his tongue delving into her body. She tossed her head back and groaned. The sensation of his tongue and lips on her so intimately set of tremors inside of her.

She planted her heels on the edge of the bed and shifted her hips, searching for the right spot or rhythm. Her nipples ached so bad she covered her breasts with her hands and pretended they were his hands instead.

He thrust in time to her movements, sometimes pressing the flat of his tongue over her clit.

“Isaac...”

Tanya panted his name.

She peered down at him, all the breath in her lungs whooshing out at the hungry way he stared up her body. Like he wanted her just as much as she wanted this. And that made all the difference in the world.

His tongue rubbed her bundle of nerves again and she shuddered, the tight coil of lust releasing a bit. She shoved her hips up and stared at the ceiling without seeing it as the orgasm cascaded through her.

Isaac kissed her mound and eased her back to the bed. For such a strong, alpha kind of guy he was incredibly kind and gentle.

He crawled up the mattress and flopped down beside her, twining their fingers together.

Her body hummed with release, but she was still hungry.

What was it Isaac had called this? The warm up?

She rolled to her side, studying the way his chest rose and fell, how the scars on his arms and chest told a story of a man who gave too much. He’d beat himself up forever for not giving it all. She understood that drive, the need to help others. Maybe that was how they got here, two like souls needing more.

Tanya couldn’t do anything about his guilt. She was still dealing with her own, but that erection was something she was more than equipped and ready to handle.

“What are you doing?” Isaac peered up at her with one eye.

She knelt next to him and focused on the belt. The leather had swelled from the water but she worked it free of the catch.

“Easy, easy.” He cupped his groin.

Tanya chuckled and tabbed his jeans open. He took over the zipper duty and she slid off the bed. He snagged his wallet out of his back pocket before she pulled his soaked jeans down and off his body.

“It’s a little cold, okay?” He still had one hand over his erection.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise.” She crawled back onto the bed and leaned over him, kissing his chest and jaw while she slipped her hand past the elastic of his boxers.

She wrapped her hand around his cock and kissed his mouth. He guided her hand, showing her how to touch him, how tight to squeeze.

When was the last time sex was fun?

A hell of a long time, that was for sure.

“I think it likes you,” he said against her mouth.

“I can warm it up.” She smiled.

“I’ll get a condom.” He let go over and scrambled for his wallet.

Tanya straddled his thighs and pulled his boxers down. If the cold affected him, she couldn’t tell. He ripped the condom packet open and she snagged the latex. Isaac levered up, watching her hands work the protection down over his skin. His Adam’s apple bobbed and his cheeks sank in.

This was why she’d wanted it to be Isaac. It wasn’t pity sex, this wasn’t just about her, he was attracted to her, too.

“Kiss me,” she said.

“Bossy.” One side of his mouth hitched up.

“You don’t seem to mind.”

“Fuck no.”

Isaac fisted her hair in his hand and dragged her face to his. She pressed her chest to his, and let him kiss her, devouring her mouth, his tongue slipping past her lips. He guided his cock, sliding it between her folds, back and forth. She shifted her hips, luxuriating in the anticipation of it all. If the cold had any impact, she really couldn’t tell.

Tanya canted her hips and stopped the moment she felt the head of his cock fit against her. She planted her hand on his shoulder and broke the kiss, staring down at his face. This was the moment she wanted to see.

Isaac dropped to his elbows, his gaze drifting down to the point where their bodies were almost connected.

She eased down, gravity doing the work for her.

His hands slid up her sides to her waist, holding her steady. Bit by bit, she worked his cock into her, in no hurry.

Isaac muttered words she couldn’t hear and plenty of unintelligible sounds. Maybe he did it for her benefit or maybe that’s just how he was, but it did stroke her ego. His hands coasted up her chest and he cupped her breasts, rolling her nipples between his fingers.

She gasped and sat down hard, her internal muscles going tight.

“Holy fucking shit.” Isaac groaned.

Tanya covered his hands with hers, urging him on.

She rose on shaky legs, her stomach fluttering.

Isaac lifted his head and kissed her chest.

She gripped his shoulders, holding herself steady, and worked her hips. His cock slid in and out of her at her pace. She tilted her pelvis, changing the angle of his thrust.

“Oh—Tanya. Fuck.” His fingers dug into her skin and he gasped for breath.

She did this to him.

Her.

It was a heady, powerful feeing. More than she’d expected. She’d hoped it would be good with Isaac, but she hadn’t dared to hope they’d fit this well.

She reached between them, her fingers slipping over her clit.

Isaac’s eyes snapped open and he watched her fingers. She felt his shaft against her skin as she moved, chasing her own pleasure. He tweaked her nipples and she groaned. The sensation was too much. The coil of desire snapped loose, propelling her into a body-shuddering, deep orgasm that robbed her of her vision and the ability to breathe. Isaac thrust up into her, drawing the orgasm out.

She pitched forward, unable to hold herself steady anymore. His arms wrapped around her, cradling her to his chest while his hips worked him in and out of her. She groaned and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Tears prickled her eyes and she hung onto him.

“God damn. Oh, God damn.” Isaac kissed the top of her head and rocked from side to side with her.

Her whole body seemed to vibrate, waking up parts of her she’d had to silence in order to keep going. She listened to Isaac sucking down air like a drowning man more than a little pleased with herself. He wasn’t the only one who could drive someone mad with his talents.

“You came, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, good. I thought so.” He stroked her hair.

She knew she should clean up, that the moment was over, and yet no part of her wanted to leave him. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed.

This moment proved she wasn’t up to doing her job.

She couldn’t keep doing this to herself. If she needed Isaac like this, then she wasn’t cut out for it all.

Tanya pushed up and kissed Isaac’s lips, keeping it brief.

“You want the bathroom first?” she asked.

“No, go ahead.” He patted her bottom. “There’s a bathroom in my room, too.”

“Oh.”

She sat up and he held the condom while she eased their bodies apart.

Tanya grabbed the robe and strode into the bathroom. She closed the door behind herself, then braced her hands on the vanity.

It was as if someone had turned on the lights and she could see her broken and battered self for the first time in over a year. This undercover gig was more than she’d bargained for, more than she was built for. Whatever her trainers had seen in her, she didn’t share the same evaluation of her skills.

Tanya turned the shower on and rinsed off, taking her time to roll her thoughts around and give Isaac a few minutes to duck out to his room.

He wouldn’t appreciate her deeper feelings. He’d been pretty clear that sex was a casual thing. If she weren’t so adrift it would be a different story, but in her current state she was concerned about developing too much of an attachment to him. He was kind when she needed it, and that she appreciated. Still, it could only go so far with him. Physical distance would be imperative to maintaining the illusion she could do this.

She finished cleaning up and wrung the water out of her hair.

True weariness set in, but this time she suspected that sleep wouldn’t be that hard to find.

She wrapped herself in the robe and stepped out into the bedroom. Her bedside lamp was on and Isaac lay stretched out on the other side.

“Come here.” His hand flopped his hand toward her, as though holding it out were too difficult. He’d doused his hair and changed into shorts. The smell of soap clung to his skin.

Tanya crawled up the bed, ignoring her better sense that screamed cuddling with Isaac was not a good idea. She pillowed her head on his shoulder and hiked her thigh over his, completely comfortable with his nearness. She listened to the thrum of his heart, the feel of it against her cheek a calming rhythm. He kissed the top of her head and tucked her in closer.

“I’m hungry, are you?” she asked.

“Starving.” He turned, glancing in the direction of the digital clock. “How about I see about some food, huh? Any requests?”

“Fish and chips.”

“I bet I can make that happen.”

“Isaac?”

“Huh?”

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” She wanted to hold onto this moment and everything that reminded her of who she was deep down. Tomorrow she’d deal with her wayward emotions. It was just one night, one bout of feeling. She could handle it.

“Sure thing, cupcake.”

“Thank you.”

Tanya was leaning on Isaac. A crutch was never a good thing, but for now, for this moment, she needed him.