Adriana

 

Adriana was practically trembling by the time she approached Ryder’s penthouse apartment again that night, fighting off a nasty case of the hiccups. That always happened to her when she got really nervous, which was a pain in the ass. She wished she could hide all signs of weakness so that nobody in the world around her would ever realize how vulnerable she really was.

 

For now, she just pressed herself against the wall in the hallway outside of Ryder’s apartment, sucking in air and holding it for a long moment until the hiccups passed. Please God, do not let them come back while we’re… doing whatever it is Ryder decides to do to me tonight, she prayed silently.

 

Deep inside, she knew that it wasn’t just the playroom that was making her so anxious. They had a much more productive time at the office that day—going through all of Paolo’s old business deals to help Ryder get caught up with the current state of affairs. But things had been weird between them.

 

For one thing, she was pretty surprised that Ryder never once mentioned the playroom or the contract or anything to do with their new relationship. It knocked her off-balance, making her feel like she didn’t know what to do or say, except that she wasn’t going to break the contract she’d signed the night before.

 

But it was more than that. Ryder seemed so tightly-wound, so nervous himself that it was contagious, seeping into her mood and making her feel like she didn’t know where they stood. He’s surprised I know so much about the business, Adriana thought as she reflected back on Ryder’s shocked expression whenever she explained the details of a drug deal or an upcoming murder case. And he’s… scared. Scared of me.

 

She felt a little sick to her stomach just thinking about that. Why should he be scared of her? Adriana’s life was a mess. She couldn’t get a handle on anything, not since her dad’s last heart attack. But maybe that’s exactly why he’s so scared of me, Adriana realized, feeling tiny beads of sweat appear along her hairline as the new knowledge sunk into her brain. I have nothing to lose. I could leave this life behind in an instant, go to the cops, go to the feds, even, and get a nice, new, pretty little life in Witness Protection as payment for betraying the Romanos.

 

It wasn’t like she’d never considered it before. She wasn’t stupid, after all. But the possibility of retribution by the Romanos kept her from thinking too seriously about it. She didn’t want to be killed, let alone endanger her father. I was so stupid for getting involved in this mess in the first place, Adriana thought, sighing as she leaned back against the wall. Maybe I should just leave. Tonight. Now that Paolo is gone, I have no excuse, no reason to be loyal to them. I should grab my dad and take the money I’ve saved up and just leave the country, where none of the Romanos or the feds or anyone else could get their hands on us.

 

But despite how convincing that argument sounded in her head, she couldn’t seem to pry herself off the wall and walk away. Ryder might have literally been considering killing her, just because of all that she knew, yet she couldn’t make the smart decision and leave. What the fuck is wrong with me? Adriana wondered, holding her head in her hands and swallowing thickly to clear her throat. I’m a smart girl. I’m independent. I’m strong, right? Why can’t I just do the right thing and leave this all behind?

 

Adriana was torn out of her thoughts by some indistinct noises behind her head, from the other side of the wall. When she focused really hard, she could make out the vague clinking of glass and the heavy footfall of a man, and she felt her heart shoot up into her throat. Ryder. She was probably late by now, especially since she’d spent the last five minutes in an existential tailspin.

 

Fuck, if he comes out here and sees me, it’ll look so weird. I should run. I should just run away right now while I still have the chance. But still, she couldn’t force herself to move a single inch. It was like her body was revolting, refusing to follow the commands that her brain was screaming out futilely. Why can’t I fucking move? Why am I not running away? What the hell is wrong with me?

 

But with her head pressed against the wall, listening to the shuffling noises on the other side, the answer came to her easily. It was Ryder. Ryder, the man who had every reason to have her killed. Ryder, the man who, for all she knew, still believed that she was fucking his father before he died. Ryder, the guy she barely knew.

 

She couldn’t leave without fucking him, at least once. She had to see this through, or she knew she would regret it for the rest of her life. She had to know if it was possible for her to let someone else take control for once. She had to know if she had the capacity to let go, to feel true release. It was now or never.

 

“Right,” she murmured to herself, straightening up and wiping the sweat from her forehead. She reached into her purse for a compact mirror, opening it to make sure that she hadn’t sweated off all of her makeup. “I’ll do this once. At least once. Or a few times, and then I’ll run away when the time is right,” she whispered to herself as she shut the compact and shoved it back into her purse.

 

It was time to stop punishing herself. She’d let herself into the playroom, she’d let herself let go—if only to see if she was capable of it. And then she’d worry about the consequences later. For tonight, at the very least, she’d let herself feel alive.

 

She walked back up to Ryder’s door and knocked gently, not wanting to appear too eager, even though she had to be several minutes late at this point. There were a few long moments of silence, during which Adriana scratched furiously at her hands just to give herself something to focus on other than the excruciating wait for Ryder to arrive. Then, mercifully, the door swung open, revealing a servant dressed smartly in another dark suit.

 

“Mistress Adriana,” the servant said, smiling warmly at her. “Can I take your coat?”

 

“Uh, sure,” Adriana replied, shrugging out of her jacket and handing it awkwardly to the servant. “Is, um, is Ryder…”

 

“Master Ryder is waiting for you already. You can go to the designated room, if you remember the way.”

 

She definitely did. Adriana nodded and forced a smile for the servant’s benefit before inhaling deeply to steady herself and heading in the direction of the playroom. Adriana tried to mentally coach herself as she stepped into the hallway behind the dining room area, then slowly walked toward the dark room where Ryder was waiting for her.

 

 I can do this. I can do this. I’m a strong, powerful bitch. I got this. I fucking got this. Oh, God, I’m fucking nervous. My stomach hurts. I’m so goddamned nervous, fuck!

 

Adriana finally reached the door, putting her hand on the cold handle, but before she turned it, she remembered a crucial detail of the contract. The clothes. She was supposed to be naked in the playroom at all times, with her clothing left outside of it. Jesus, she thought, feeling lightheaded as she pulled her hand away from the door.

 

Once again, she thought of bolting, running as far as she could, to someplace where she wouldn’t have to be brave. Her heart pounded insistently in her temples, making her feel like two giant cymbals were continually being crashed over the sides of her head. But whenever her brain yelled at her legs to try to force them into motion, they stayed still, remaining in place outside of the playroom. Her body wanted this. There was no denying it.

 

She exhaled deeply, letting all of the air leave her body, before she squared her shoulders and reached for the zipper of her skirt. Adriana looked around in every direction, making sure none of the servants were lurking around to watch her undress, before she yanked the zipper down, stepped out of the skirt, and carefully folded it before placing it against the wall.

 

Next, she unbuttoned her blouse before pulling it off her body, leaving her clad only in her bra and panties. Her whole body prickled with goosebumps, chills riding up and down her spine as she heard something move from inside the playroom. Fuck, he’s waiting for me. This is really happening. This is fucking real, she thought as she wrapped her arms around her body to protect herself against the cold air around her.

 

“Shit,” she muttered as she felt her heart speed up in her chest, her fingers trembling as she reached behind her body to undo the clasp of her bra. She hesitated for a long moment before letting her bra fall from her chest, her nipples immediately hardening as a result of the chilly air of the penthouse. If I’m going to do this, I might as well go all the way, Adriana thought as she stepped out of her panties, bending over to gather all of her clothes in a neat pile.

 

Her whole body felt cold and hot all at once, every cell of her skin tingling with hyper-awareness. Adriana licked her lips and swallowed hard to clear her throat as much as possible before reaching down to grab the doorknob again, clenching her fist around it before turning it and giving the door a gentle push.

 

She stepped inside before she could second-guess herself anymore, pulling her hair down from its ponytail at the last second, just on impulse. She shook her hair around to let it cascade down around her shoulders as she shut the door behind her. Then, finally, she turned to face the man that was standing by the desk in the center of the room, holding the contract in his hand. He did not look happy.

 

“You’re late,” Ryder said, his voice hard and his expression cold and unreadable. He made no move to cross the room to touch her, and Adriana suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed. She wrapped her arms around her body again, shielding her bare breasts from his view. “No, don’t do that,” Ryder said, his face growing a little lighter, his eyes twinkling with something that Adriana didn’t recognize. “Let me see you.”

 

Adriana briefly considered turning and running out of the room, away from him, forever. But instead, her arms gave way, doing as she was told, exposing her chest to his penetrating gaze. Fuck, Adriana thought as she saw his eyes roam over her body, his tongue poking out to lick his lips as he looked right at her cunt.

 

She felt all the blood rush to her head, but it didn’t feel bad. It was strange, feeling like she was about to pass out, but the fear from before slowly receded from her body, leaving her with an odd emptiness. But she wasn’t numb. Her whole body prickled with sensations she’d never felt before, but she was calm. Her thoughts had come to a standstill. Jesus, I don’t know if this has ever happened to me ever before.

 

“Come over to me,” Ryder commanded, and Adriana’s legs moved forward of their own accord, carrying her across the room but stopping a few feet away from Ryder, the desk separating their two bodies. “Do you remember your safe word?”

 

Adriana nodded.

 

“Answer me out loud,” Ryder said, leaning a little over the desk so that their faces were closer together.

 

“Yes, I do,” Adriana said quickly, feeling a hot flush burn its way up her back and neck. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. There was something overwhelming, almost ticklish, about obeying him. But it didn’t feel bad. She wasn’t sure if it felt “good” exactly, but she wanted more of it. She wanted to roll around in that sensation, let it sink into her brain, play around in it until she decided how she really felt about it.

 

“Tell me the word you’ve chosen,” Ryder said.

 

Adriana felt confused for a moment, seeing as how she’d already written it down on the contract, and Ryder must have detected her silent question, as he explained, “I want to make sure that you remember it. And I want to hear the way you say it. I want you to feel comfortable saying it to me.”

 

“Tangerine,” Adriana replied, a little hesitant, feeling insecure and rubbing her upper arms to guard against the chill that suddenly overtook them. “That’s the word.”

 

“Good girl,” Ryder murmured, reaching his hand forward to gently grab the tip of Adriana’s chin, holding her face in place and practically forcing her to look him in the eyes. “That’s a good girl.”

 

“Thank you,” Adriana whispered back, barely audible. She couldn’t fight the shiver that overcame her body when Ryder’s fingers began to dance along the edge of her face, causing all the tiny little hair follicles around her ear and cheek to become erect as a result of the careful attention.

 

Ryder’s hand traveled farther north, eventually wrapping around the back of her head to tug her a little closer. “You can use the safe word at any time,” he whispered, his eyes staring hard and unblinkingly into hers until she finally nodded. “Promise me you’ll use it if you need to. Promise me.”

 

“I promise.” Adriana’s eyes slid down to stare at Ryder’s open mouth. God, how she itched to kiss him, to press into him, to learn the curves and edges and lines of his body. She felt like she’d been hungry for him for years, when she’d only known him mere days. Still, her body needed this. Already, she felt the burdens of the day begin to lift off of her body, leaving her with an uncharacteristic lightness that she hadn’t felt in years.

 

“Good.” Ryder rubbed the back of her head, making her scalp tingle with a soothing sensation, like his fingers were taking all of her bad thoughts and flinging them away into the darkness. A second later he added, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to punish you anyway.” His grip on her head intensified, and he clutched some of her hair between his fingers.

 

Adriana gasped a little, the desperate noise leaving her mouth before she had a chance to stop it. “Why?” she asked. “What did I do?”

 

“Like I said before,” Ryder said, leaning further over the desk until his forehead was pressed against hers, his eyes baring hard into her like he was searching for treasure. “You were late. I can’t set a bad example with you and let you get away with things.”

 

Adriana gulped and nodded, feeling her spine begin to tingle almost painfully. He wasn’t kidding about the punishment thing, then. All of this was real. All of it was really happening. She wasn’t dreaming, either. She hadn’t fantasized about any of this. It was like Ryder had reached inside of her heart, grabbed her deepest darkest urges, and now was pulling them into reality. It was as terrifying as it was exhilarating to experience.

 

“Still, you were very good, remembering to take your clothes off.” Ryder scratched gently at her scalp, causing her eyes to slide shut just from sheer pleasure and comfort. “So, I’ll go soft on you, just this once.”

 

“Thank you, sir,” Adriana murmured. She hadn’t even remembered that he’d commanded her to call him “sir.” She just wanted to call him that; wanted to know what it felt like letting that word slip through her lips without shame.

 

“Yeah, you’re a good girl,” Ryder said, letting his hand fall to the back of her neck, which he lightly squeezed for a few seconds before traveling down her back. His fingers traced over her spine, making her squirm a little under the ticklish feeling of his touch. “But you can be bad, too, can’t you? You’ve got it all.”

 

Adriana wasn’t sure how to answer that, so she just looked up into his eyes, relieved to see how warm and happy he looked, how full of light he seemed. It was like there was some switch inside of his brain that only got flipped on when he was in the playroom. In the office, he was uncertain and insecure, even if he did a good job hiding it from everyone but Adriana. But here, he looked light and free.

 

More than that, he looked powerful, totally comfortable in his body, totally secure that he was saying and doing the right thing. It was so fucking hot—seeing him in his element. Adriana felt a rush of warmth pool in between her legs, right at the base of her cunt. What the hell? Adriana wondered, swallowing again just to keep herself calm and to fight back the pounding of her heartbeat in her throat. He hasn’t even done anything to me yet. Why am I so turned on?

 

“You’re special.” Ryder smirked at her, his eyes gleaming with mischief like he knew exactly what she was feeling and thinking. “I knew it from the first moment I saw you. You’re so strong, but you’re willing to submit, aren’t you? That’s the only kind of power that’s real; the kind you’re willing to let go of. If you don’t trust that it’s going to come back to you later, how do you know it’s really yours?”

 

Adriana had never really thought of it that way. She’d always assumed that strength was like armor. You either had it, or you didn’t, and when you weren’t wearing it, there was nothing to protect you from being hurt. But based on the way Ryder was describing it, the only way to ever really be strong was to allow yourself to be weak. She felt a little warm and hazy, like the new knowledge he’d imparted to her had overwhelmed all of her remaining senses.

 

“You’re very smart, sir,” Adriana said honestly. She wasn’t trying to butter him up or get out of being punished or anything. She just legitimately wanted him to know that’s what she thought.

 

But still, Ryder scoffed a little and shook his head. “Not like you. You’ve got big brains. I’ve got big… other things,” he said with a grin.

 

Adriana couldn’t help it. It was too ridiculous—hearing a man brag about his penis even while he already had a woman standing naked in front of him. She had to laugh at him, falling out of his grasp to clap her hand over her mouth to stop the noises from coming. “Sorry, sorry, you’re just really funny,” she said in between giggles. Luckily, Ryder didn’t look offended by her reaction, continuing to grin broadly at her as she tried to calm herself down.

 

He waited until she stopped laughing to speak again. “How would you like to be punished?” he asked, his grin falling off his face, replaced by a stern, serious look that sent more chills cascading down her spine.

 

“Um, I don’t really know,” Adriana admitted. She’d kept herself from doing a ton of research on Dom/Sub relationships online, even though a part of her really wanted to. She was afraid of finding horror stories that would keep her from showing up tonight, and she really wanted to give this a chance, at least once, before dismissing it forever. “What are the choices?”

 

“Hmm, well, I could do a couple of things,” Ryder began, walking around the desk and gesturing to the silk ropes hanging down from one of the walls. “I could tie you up, keep you in one position for a really long time, until your legs ache and you beg me for release.”

 

Adriana bit her own tongue inside of her mouth to keep from speaking, even though a part of her wanted to ask for that one without even hearing the other options. It sounded hot; being held in one place, tortured to the point of insanity while Ryder just watched her, the way he was doing now, casting glances at her naked body through the corner of his eye. He probably thought he was being sly, but Adriana was quick enough to catch him in the act, even though she kept herself from smiling in satisfaction. It felt good—to be wanted, to feel the waves of hunger coming off of him like rays of heat radiating from the sun. It felt really fucking awesome, honestly.

 

Ryder kept walking, heading to the mat on the floor, which appeared soft, even though it was practically flat, barely lifted above the rest of the ground. “Or I could handcuff you, leave you here on the floor, blindfold you, and begin your punishment session, leaving you questioning what will happen next and when the punishment will come to an end. That could go on for hours, though, and I don’t know how much time we have since you were so rudely late tonight.”

 

Adriana flushed a little at that, feeling embarrassed about her little anxiety attack earlier, but then she saw that Ryder was still smirking, smug satisfaction written all over his face. He wasn’t angry, not really. If anything, he looked happy to have a reason to “punish” her. And honestly, some part of her was relieved about it, too.

 

She had been a little worried, in the back of her mind, that they would have typical, boring, vanilla-style sex, all because Ryder was too scared to do the real Dominant stuff with her right away. She didn’t want to do things that way. She didn’t want to go slow. Why wait and hold off on the serious stuff later, especially when she wasn’t even certain she’d still be in town next week or next month? They only had a limited amount of time before Adriana had to run away with her dad, even if Ryder didn’t know that yet.

 

“Or,” Ryder said, walking back to the desk where Adriana was still standing, this time, getting right up in her personal bubble without build-up, his breath hitting her face warmly. “I could just do something simple. A timeless classic. Would you prefer that?”

 

“What is that?” Adriana asked, her voice coming out squeaky and insecure. She inwardly berated herself for that, but Ryder just grinned wider, his face practically splitting in half with the force of his smile.

 

“A staple of the Dom/Sub dynamic. I’m sure you’ve done it before, probably with some asshole who didn’t know what he was doing. Spanking. Would you like that?”

 

Adriana bit her lip, considering her options. Actually, she’d never been spanked before, at least not on purpose. Whenever a guy had gotten rough with her in bed, she hadn’t really liked it very much, mostly because none of her old boyfriends were very good at sex in general. But still, she had her doubts.

 

Would she really like being hit and slapped and hurt? It sounded a little painful, especially given the size of Ryder’s broad, wide hands. But just looking at his fingers, currently clutching the edge of the desk, made Adriana reconsider. His fingers were so long and thick, so manly. She’d never been with a man with such sexy hands. He looked like he could lift her up, like he could fuck her against the wall without even breaking a sweat. Jesus fucking Christ, she said to herself, shaking her head as if to dislodge the naughty thoughts. We haven’t even done anything yet, and I’m already coming apart like a stupid little virgin.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ryder’s facial expression changed to reflect his concern. Adriana silently berated herself again for being so bad at this. She wasn’t a very good Sub at all, really. She couldn’t even get through the first half of a single session without her Dom having to “break character” to check in with her.

 

“Nothing, nothing. It’s nothing,” Adriana rushed to say, forcing a smile and nodding at Ryder to reassure him that she was fine.

 

“You look a little hesitant,” Ryder said, his brow furrowing as he inspected Adriana’s face, making her flush under his attention. “Would you like something else? No spanking for now, maybe?”

 

“No, no, I don’t want you to change your plans,” Adriana said quickly, feeling a rush of desperation to rescue the mood of the room. Things had turned very serious, very quickly, and that was the opposite of sexy as far as Adriana was concerned. She didn’t want to ruin things before they even got started.

 

“My plan is that you have a good time, Adriana,” Ryder murmured, reaching forward to grab her shoulders and pull her a little closer. “Whatever we do to get there doesn’t really concern me that much, as long as I’m the one holding the reins.”

 

Despite everything, Adriana found herself smirking at that. “Reins, huh? So what, does that make me the horse?”

 

Ryder chuckled and licked his lips. “Well, you’re a lot of things, really,” he murmured, brushing some of Adriana’s messy hair on the other side of her shoulder. “You want to be the horse?”

 

Adriana chuckled and, without even hesitating, her arm snaked around to wrap itself around Ryder’s shoulders, tugging him closer. “I think I want to be the thing you ride, yeah,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss his lips…

 

And then the next second, he pulled away, leaving her surrounded only by cold air. “Mm… you’re a bad girl, aren’t you?” Ryder whispered, revealing his new position behind Adriana, right before his hands landed on the top of her back, sliding in between her shoulder-blades.

 

Adriana grunted, reaching forward to place her hands on the desk in front of her for balance and stability as Ryder’s hands rubbed up and down her back, his nails skimming over her skin until every last hair on her body was standing up at attention like an alert soldier. “I am if you want me to be, sir,” she whispered.

 

Ryder leaned forward and finally placed his lips on her skin, dragging his mouth up and down the side of her neck until she was squealing, her hands sliding a few inches forward on the desk as he pressed his weight into her back.

 

“Yeah, you’re my bad girl, aren’t you? All fucking mine,” Ryder hissed out into her neck, right before his teeth sunk into her skin. The pain consumed her mind; it was all she could focus on, like her entire world was wrapped up in Ryder’s mouth.

 

She fucking loved it.